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    A Self-Lay-Offing Prophecy

    (Our company has just been bought out by a competitor. There is some significant downsizing expected. My manager calls me in to break the news first thing on Monday morning.)

    Manager: “Here’s the deal: you have to let all eight people on your team go today. There’s a script that you have to use, and an HR rep will be with you.”

    Me: “All eight? My whole team?”

    Manager: “Yes, the whole team. We still have duties for you, though.”

    (And so I go about firing my whole team. After it’s completed, I meet with my manager again.)

    Manager: “We have to let you go.”

    Me: “…What? I thought you said you had duties for me.”

    Manager: “Yes, and you completed them.”

    Me: “You kept me on to fire my staff before firing me? That was it?”

    Manager: *brightly* “Glad you understand!”

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