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  • As Clear As Gay

    | London, UK | Bosses & Owners, Top

    (After going away on holiday, I return to work with a diamond ring on my left hand. My colleagues are coming over to congratulate me, when I’m approached by one of my senior managers.)

    Manager: “Congratulations on your engagement! When is the happy day?”

    Me: “Depends when we can book the venue, but both April and I have always wanted to get married in December.”

    Manager: “Wait, you and April? You’re marrying a woman?!”

    Me: “Well, the law stares that it’s a civil partnership, but to us it is a wedding.”

    Manager: “You’re a lesbian…since when?”

    Me: “Um, all my life. I’ve been with April for six years. Did you really not know I’m gay?”

    Manager: “I’ve never seen indication that you were.”

    Me: “So, after being a member of the LGBT network, appearing in the staff magazine explaining the rights policy, and coming into the work a month ago sun burnt from the Pride Festival, you really didn’t realise I was gay? Who did you the think the woman I brought to the Christmas party was?”

    Manager: “I thought she was your sister.”

    (My colleague, who has been listening to our conversation from across the room, chimes in.)

    Colleague: *to my manager* “If you think that was her sister after you saw them kissing under the mistletoe, I have some questions about your family.”