One of our new hires is pouring a shot of tequila into a glass of milk, and I have to stop and ask about it.

Me: “What is that?!“

New Starter: “The customer asked for a tequila and milk.”

Me: “Seriously?”

New Starter: “Is that weird?”

Me: “It’s not… normal.”

Intrigued, I follow the new starter and the odd drink over to the customer.

New Starter: “Your tequila and milk, sir.”

The customer starts cracking up.

Customer: “I said, ‘Tia Maria and milk’.”

Tia Maria is a coffee liqueur. I start laughing, too, and the new starter looks confused.

New Starter: “I thought he said ‘tequila’.”

Customer: *Takes a sip* “This isn’t terrible, though, so I’ll have this, too!”

I got him the correct drink and just charged him for a glass of milk for being a good sport.

This happened in 2014. I was driving a lot for work. My current car was getting extremely old, and repairs were very costly, so I decided to purchase a new vehicle. I ended up deciding on a brand-new car.

I worked with the salesman and picked out the exact one I wanted, but the color I wanted was thirty minutes south at another branch. They wanted to put everything through and have me pick up the car the next day, so we went through all the financing, and I signed the paperwork.

The next day, I went to pick up the car. The color was right, but this was not the car I’d been told I was getting. I had purchased the more deluxe option. The car that showed up was a basic model. I was not happy.

Normally, when dealing with salesmen, I want to get it over with fast, so I often settle. Not this time. I flat-out told them this was a bait-and-switch, and they could either figure out how they were going to fix it, or I was canceling everything.

The dealership manager had to get involved. He was clearly angry that I wouldn’t just accept the car they tried to pawn off on me. He had the nerve to say:

Manager: “Now I have to sell this one as a used car since it was temporarily sold!”

I was pretty proud of myself for asking:

Me: “How is that my problem?”

Manager: “Why do you even want all those features?”

He dropped it when he saw my facial expression.

I wasn’t able to get the color I wanted, but I got the model and features I wanted, and they were able to get me insanely low-percentage financing. But seriously, how did they think that would fly?

I work on a construction site as an admin — not one of the physical laborers but in the office. I’m also about as white as one can get before they start to glow in the dark, so most people assume I only know English. I actually speak four languages, and I’m working on a fifth.

I am sitting at my desk while our safety officer is doing a welcome orientation for some of our new employees. They are currently taking a break for the safety officer to address something else. I have just introduced myself, and they are standing near my desk conversing in Spanish, gesturing at a map on the wall as if that’s what they’re talking about.

Employee #1: “I bet she likes her hair pulled. I’d give it a good yank.”

Employee #2: “No, she’s probably boring — on her back, doing nothing.”

Employee #1: “No, girls like her are too wound up. They gotta let it out.”

I stand up, timesheets in hand.

Me: *In English* “Okay, guys, I need you to fill these out and turn them in on Friday before you leave. Any questions?”

Employee #1: “Uh… No English?”

Me: “Your entire safety orientation was in English.”

Employee #2: “Okay, okay, thank you.” *In Spanish* “Don’t be dumb.”

Me: “Any questions?”

They take the paperwork and begin gesturing at different things on the paper, but they are actually trying to guess how big my nipples are by relating them to coins.

Me: *In Spanish* “There are women on site who speak Spanish, too.”

Both employees stopped dead and turned a deep red. When the safety officer returned, I told him what had happened. He stopped the orientation and sent the two employees out immediately, informing their supervisors that they would not be working on our project.

Our office introduced casual Fridays, but then they became very strict and descriptive of what was okay for it, sucking all the joy out of it. However, there was no maximum dress level.

One Friday, all my business casual appropriate attire was dirty. None of my lower-standard clothes were good enough (based on previous “constructive comments” from management), so I just said, “F*** it,” and wore my best suit and tie.

I had a dentist appointment that morning, so I was two hours late.

I showed up two hours late, in a suit, on a casual Friday. Everyone assumed I was interviewing for a new job. The rumors swirled. I coyly denied that I was interviewing.

But I wore a suit every Friday from there on out.

Eventually, I got tired of their corporate “culture”, and when I showed up in a suit, I really was interviewing, and they suspected nothing.

I work at a vape shop. An elderly woman comes in one day wanting a different tank.

Woman: “There’s nothing wrong with the one I’m using, but I was pressured into buying it at another shop. The employee there wouldn’t budge on showing me anything else! It’s way too big and powerful for me, and I loathe that. Other than that, I do like the quality.”

She has also brought in a very old model tank with missing glass.

Woman: “If you have replacement glass for this one, I’ll just go back to using it instead.”

Me: “I’ll check. We have tons of glass, but not that exact one, so it’ll take me a hot minute to see if we have a cross-compatible one.”

My coworker entertains her while I search, and I hear her say that she’s going to call her daughter to let her know she’s going to be late. I think she is going to complain that I am taking so long. I am searching as fast as I can, but finding replacement glass is a tedious process when you don’t have the exact one.

Instead, I hear her say:

Woman: “I’m so happy I found a shop where the employees will go above and beyond for me! I’ll be coming here from now on!”

After five or ten minutes of searching, I come back empty-handed, and she opts to just buy a new, smaller tank. As she’s looking through her options, I point out:

Me: “If you like everything about the one you have aside from the size, we have basically the half-sized ‘baby’ version.”

Her face lights up when I pull it out.

Woman: “That’s the one that originally came with mine! It’s the one I was looking for, but I don’t know enough about them to ask for it by name. The only reason I was stuck with the giant version was that I pointed it out at the other shop and said, ‘This is the one I want, only smaller,’ but the guy insisted that only the big ones exist.”

They didn’t even show her how to properly use it. She is dumbfounded at all the new information I am giving her about setting it up and using it. She leaves promising that she will only be stopping by our shop from now on, as will the rest of her family.

She returns today.

Customer: “The tank I bought is leaking. I’m not sure if it’s covered under the warranty.”

I look at the tank, and it is very solid.

Me: “Where is it leaking from?”

Customer: “From the inside. When I try to hit it, I suck up very hot liquid.”

Me: “What wattage have you been running it at?”

Customer: “I’ve been running it about ten watts lower than he recommended wattage. That’s what the guy at the other shop told me to do.”

Me: “That’s why you’re experiencing the hot splattering. You need to run your coils at least at the bare minimum recommended wattage. Otherwise, they’ll heat up the juice, but not enough to vaporize it, so you’ll just be sucking red-hot juice.”

I don’t understand why someone would tell a customer that. It’s baffling.