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    Category: Pets & Animals

    No Longer Hungry Hungry Hippos

    | WI, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers, Pets & Animals

    (I am working backstage for a production and catch the end of a conversation between the assistant stage manager and backstage hand.)

    Backstage Hand: “They don’t just poop. They also wag their tail to send to poop flying.”

    Assistant Stage Manager: “That is disgusting.”

    Me: “Are you two talking about the dominance display of the hippo?”

    Backstage Hand: “More of how they mark their territory.”

    Assistant Stage Manager: “I don’t know which is weirder: that hippos actually do that, or that you both knew that fact.”

    Tried To Kill The Sale

    | CA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Employees, Pets & Animals, Top

    (A couple weeks before this incident, I had to bathe my cat because he got into something sticky and foul smelling. He scratched up my arms and part of my stomach trying to escape the sink and it left a lot of scars.)

    Me: “Just this soda and these candies, please.”

    (I put the items on the counter in the process showing my arms.)

    Cashier: “Did you try to kill yourself?”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Cashier: “That’s disgusting. Why are flaunting your scars like you want sympathy?”

    Me: “…I got them from my cat.”

    Cashier: “Yeah. Try harder next time. Do everyone a favor.”

    Me: “You know, never mind the items. I’m not buying anything.”

    (As I left the store about six other customers left looking completely disgusted. None of them had purchased anything either.)

    Waspish Behavior

    | Kent, England, UK | Bosses & Owners, Coworkers, Pets & Animals

    (Our office is in a converted barn in the middle of a rural area. As a result, we get a lot of bugs flying through the open windows in warm weather. On this occasion, a wasp was hovering around the window, but not quite making it out. The buzzing was starting to drive my coworker crazy.)

    Coworker: “Wasps are so stupid! The way out is right there!”

    Me: “Well, it is a wasp. They have limited mental capacity.”

    Coworker: “That’s not the point. It’s not that hard!”

    Manager: “You do realise we had to stick post-it notes on the doors downstairs to stop people from walking into them?”

    Coworker: “What?!”

    Me: “Yeah, wasn’t that because of [Surveyor]?”

    Coworker: “You’re joking.”

    Manager: “Nope.”

    Coworker: “How did he manage that?”

    Me: “Wasn’t concentrating. Walked smack into the closed doors. Wasn’t exactly humanity’s greatest moment.”

    Disservice Dog

    | TX, USA | Bosses & Owners, Criminal/Illegal, Pets & Animals

    (I work in a shop that has a cat. This cat does not like dogs and will attack them. The boss used to allows dogs that could be carried but has recently started sporadically enforcing an unposted ‘no dogs’ rule. While I’m out of sight shelving, I hear her:)

    Boss: “I’m sorry, but you can’t bring that dog in here. We have a cat and he doesn’t like dogs. Your dog is going to have to leave.”

    (I walk out from behind the shelves and see a lady standing outside – with a dog with a very obvious service dog vest.)

    Me: “Did you just make that service dog leave?”

    Boss: “Yeah, he was upsetting [Cat].”

    Me: “You do know that’s illegal, right?”

    Boss: “No, it isn’t!”

    Me: “Uh, yeah. ADA.”

    Boss: “Well, I didn’t know that.”

    (She’s owned this business for 15 years!)

    They’re All Dog-Gone Crazy

    | GA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, New Hires, Pets & Animals

    (I’ve worked night audit at a hotel for several years, and enjoy my job, but put in my notice because my family is relocating. The application/interview/hiring/training people experience two hires who don’t bother calling in or showing up for their first night of training, and one hire who actually shows up, but only for the first night. Finally, we find someone who shows up and seems trainable. One night we have a lull, and are chit-chatting about our pets.)

    Me: “The boss is awesome. After a nearby property had been robbed, he allowed me to bring my husband’s police K9 with me to work for a few nights.”

    Trainee: “I always bring my dog to work.”

    Me: “Uh… such a thing would have to be cleared by the manager.”

    Trainee: “But my dog is in my purse right now!”

    (I am a little shocked, thinking that eight hours inside a purse isn’t really ideal! Turned out that the dog in question had been dead for some time, and that the trainee carried his ashes everywhere, because she ‘just knew’ someone would break into her house and steal her precious puppy! By this point, there was no time to hire anyone else, so I finished the training I could do, and moves away. A couple of weeks later, the new employee quit, because ‘no one had told her that the job would be overnight, and no one had trained her to do the audit.’)


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