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    Category: Pets & Animals

    Not Always Right But Funny

    | TN, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Bosses & Owners, Pets & Animals

    (I’m in the office, talking to the boss about a sick cat I’ve recently adopted.)

    Me: “…so my roommate and I have spent a lot of time at the vet lately. But it’s worth it to have someone to come home to.”

    Boss: “Yeah… I had a fish. He was a good companion. He’s been sick lately. I think he’s dead.”

    Me: *general understanding noise*

    Boss: “But at least I can have sushi tonight. Now he’ll satisfy me even more.”

    Me: “…”

    Boss: “That wasn’t right, was it?”

    A New Pet Hate

    | MO, USA | Bad Behavior, Bosses & Owners, Ignoring/Inattentive, Pets & Animals

    (I work at a pet-boarding facility that also offers grooming and daycare. As a kennel worker, we had first, second, third (janitorial shift), and a daycare shift. I am currently about 20 minutes from the end of my daycare shift that day and my coworker is already there for second shift where it is her responsibility to clean the walls of the daycare area, and third shift sweeps and mops when they arrive. All the tasks for my shift have been completed and I’m now killing time by helping out my coworker and cleaning one of our potty rooms.)

    Manager: “[My Name]! [My Name]!”

    (My manager finds me, pooper scooper in hand, cleaning.)

    Manager: “What are you doing?”

    Me: “Cleaning the front potty room for [Coworker].”

    Manager: “Well, can you clean the walls in daycare? The dogs somehow got poop on them; they need to be scrubbed really well. And sweep and mop the floors, too.”

    Me: “Okay.”

    (I proceed to finish what I’m doing and head out to daycare with a scrub brush and a bucket of soapy water and scrub the walls perfectly clean, which was a chore. I then notice it’s time for my shift to end and head to the front to clock out, assuming my manager wouldn’t mind and had only asked me to do those tasks to fill time, since they aren’t my responsibility on my shift.)

    Me: “Can I go home now? I finished the walls but didn’t get around to the floors; sorry about that.”

    Manager: “Yeah, I guess so, but I’m going to have to write you up.”

    Me: “What?! Why?”

    Manager: “You didn’t finish all your tasks.”

    Me: “But I did! All my tasks for my shift are done. Cleaning the walls is second shift’s job and sweeping and mopping is third shift’s. I know because I’ve worked all those shifts!”

    Manager: “Well, I’m still going to have to write you up.”

    (Needless to say, I quit not long after this. Along with the manager having no idea what the shift duties were and never keeping cleaning supplies stocked, she also lost customer information and showed up drunk multiple times, including my last day when I was training my replacement. It’s amazing to me that they’re still in business.)

    No Longer Hungry Hungry Hippos

    | WI, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers, Pets & Animals

    (I am working backstage for a production and catch the end of a conversation between the assistant stage manager and backstage hand.)

    Backstage Hand: “They don’t just poop. They also wag their tail to send to poop flying.”

    Assistant Stage Manager: “That is disgusting.”

    Me: “Are you two talking about the dominance display of the hippo?”

    Backstage Hand: “More of how they mark their territory.”

    Assistant Stage Manager: “I don’t know which is weirder: that hippos actually do that, or that you both knew that fact.”

    Tried To Kill The Sale

    | CA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Employees, Pets & Animals, Top

    (A couple weeks before this incident, I had to bathe my cat because he got into something sticky and foul smelling. He scratched up my arms and part of my stomach trying to escape the sink and it left a lot of scars.)

    Me: “Just this soda and these candies, please.”

    (I put the items on the counter in the process showing my arms.)

    Cashier: “Did you try to kill yourself?”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Cashier: “That’s disgusting. Why are flaunting your scars like you want sympathy?”

    Me: “…I got them from my cat.”

    Cashier: “Yeah. Try harder next time. Do everyone a favor.”

    Me: “You know, never mind the items. I’m not buying anything.”

    (As I left the store about six other customers left looking completely disgusted. None of them had purchased anything either.)

    Waspish Behavior

    | Kent, England, UK | Bosses & Owners, Coworkers, Pets & Animals

    (Our office is in a converted barn in the middle of a rural area. As a result, we get a lot of bugs flying through the open windows in warm weather. On this occasion, a wasp was hovering around the window, but not quite making it out. The buzzing was starting to drive my coworker crazy.)

    Coworker: “Wasps are so stupid! The way out is right there!”

    Me: “Well, it is a wasp. They have limited mental capacity.”

    Coworker: “That’s not the point. It’s not that hard!”

    Manager: “You do realise we had to stick post-it notes on the doors downstairs to stop people from walking into them?”

    Coworker: “What?!”

    Me: “Yeah, wasn’t that because of [Surveyor]?”

    Coworker: “You’re joking.”

    Manager: “Nope.”

    Coworker: “How did he manage that?”

    Me: “Wasn’t concentrating. Walked smack into the closed doors. Wasn’t exactly humanity’s greatest moment.”


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