• I’ve Got A Ticket To Deride
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    Category: Extra Stupid

    Rounding Up Versus Dumbing Down

    | Portland, OR, USA | Bosses & Owners, Extra Stupid, Money

    (My store is raising money for a charity and competing with other stores in the same franchise. Every cashier is supposed to ask each customer if they want to donate a dollar, but the customers aren’t really biting. Eventually I get an idea.)

    Me: “Would you like to round your purchase up to the next dollar to donate to [Charity]?”

    Customer: “Oh, sure!”

    (It goes like this for a while. Sometimes customers even donate more than a dollar out of generosity. According to the posters in the break rooms, using this strategy our store winds up in the lead. One day my manager pulls me aside.)

    Manager: “Are you the one having customers round their purchases up?”

    Me: “Yeah.” *expecting him to comment on how clever it was*

    Manager: “You need to stop. The numbers aren’t round.”

    Me: “…but we’re in the lead. And we’re doing this for charity.”

    Manager: “A round dollar amount looks better.”

    (Predictably, going back to asking customers if they want to donate a dollar didn’t work. But at least the numbers looked nice!)

    A Bit More Than A Mix-Up

    | Alexandria, VA, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Money

    (I ordered a couple pizzas and told them I had a coupon. When the delivery guy arrived I looked at the receipt.)

    Me: “$95.30…? No way am I signing this! It should be $25!”

    Delivery Guy: “What?”

    (He looks and then calls his boss. He talks outside for a while, then comes back in and hands me his cell.)

    Manager: “Hi, sorry about that. Can you write a tip on the back, and then I’ll fix everything when the delivery guy gets back.”

    Me: “Um, okay. Please get this taken care of.”

    (I bring up my credit card statement 20 minutes later and see that the $95 is pending, along with another $35 charge. I decide to call the store.)

    Me: “Hey, I am the guy who you guys charged $95. I noticed it is still high. It should be $25.”

    Manager: “Oh, yes, sorry about that. The guy who rang you up is new and gets 9’s and 2’s mixed up. Please hold for a sec.”

    (She then hands the phone to whatever poor soul rang me up.)

    Employee: “Sorry. I get 2’s and 9’s mixed up.”

    (I and friends all face-palm.)

    Needs To Install Some Intelligence

    | England, UK | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Technology

    Me: “Okay, if you could just try coming out of the software and going back into it I’ll see what happens my end.”

    (Long pause.)

    User: “Okay I’ve uninstalled it. Now what?”

    In Receipt Of Bad Instructions

    | USA | Bosses & Owners, Extra Stupid, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (My manager is very nice, but either doesn’t know how to run a hotel or has never worked in one. He’s completely clueless. One day, he’s training me, a new hire.)

    Manager: “Okay, so at 3:00 you have to print out the customers’ receipts, and then leave the desk and go up the elevator and deliver them by pushing them under each door.”

    Me: “I have to deliver them? I will be working by myself, right?”

    Manager: “Yes, you’ll be alone.”

    Me: *fretting* “But, what if the phone rings or the customer comes down and I’m not there?”

    Manager: “Don’t worry, that rarely happens. Just do what I say, ok?”

    Me: “Okaaay.”

    (Everything goes well for a few weeks, and then it happens: I’m away delivering the receipts, and a customer calls and calls the desk. Getting no answer, he goes to the desk, only to find no one. When I get back, he yells at me. Then he complains to the manager, who calls me over the next day.)

    Manager: “You’ve gotten a complaint. This guy called and called last night, and no one answered. The phone must be answered.”

    Me: “I was away delivering the receipts.”

    Manager: “I know, but I HAVE to write you up. Sign this.”

    Me: “WHAT?!”

    Manager: “It’s ok. It rarely happens.”

    (I started looking for another job the following day. Managers may need to be nice, but they need to know how to do their job, too!)

    Life Just Handed You Lemons

    | Allentown, PA, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I arrive at a sandwich shop for breakfast on my way to work and walk in to find an employee complaining to someone about a coworker.)

    Employee: “…and she never cleans right! Now we’ve got wilted lettuce and slimy chicken!”

    (They both suddenly stop and realize that I’ve been standing there for a large portion of the conversation.)

    Employee: “Oh. Hi. What can I get you?”

    Me: “Well, I was going to have food, but I think I’ll just get lemonade.”

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