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    Category: Extra Stupid

    Green Food Makes Him Green

    | Tulsa, OK, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    Cashier: “What’s this?”

    Me: “That’s an artichoke.”

    Cashier: “Oh, I don’t like those.”

    Me: “How can you know? 10 seconds ago you didn’t know what it was.”

    Cashier: “Um… I don’t like green food.”

    One Day Her Prints Will Come

    | MI, USA | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (A coworker of mine was recently promoted to replace her supervisor, who had left the company quickly and unexpectedly. Although the coworker is diligent and devoted, she lacks the background and training to be effective in her new role. In particular, she has no skill whatsoever with technology. I’m male and under the age of 50, so I’m her go-to person for tech questions.)

    Coworker: “[My Name], can you show me how to change the toner in the printer?”

    Me: “Sure.”

    (I show her how to change the toner cartridge, which is pretty easy given that there are instructions on the box and the printer, and the whole process has only four steps. Three days later:)

    Coworker: “[My Name], can you change the cartridge? It’s out again.”

    Me: “Okay… let me show you how.”

    (I show her again how to change the cartridge, explaining each step. A week after that:)

    Coworker: “[My Name], I’m gonna need help with that printer again.”

    (I sigh deeply, resigning myself to changing her printer cartridge every few days. A few more days pass:)

    Coworker: “[My Name]?”

    Me: “The printer?”

    Coworker: “Oh, no, I finally got that figured out.”

    Me: “Okay, great; what can I help with?”

    Coworker: “My stapler is jammed.”

    Me: *facepalm in despair*

    Working Against The Clock

    | Berkshire County, MA, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, History, Technology

    (I am 15, and I have a cheap digital watch that has stopped working. My dad offers to pay for a replacement battery since he is going to the store to buy a replacement band for my mother’s favorite watch, an old-fashioned wind-up watch that used to belong to her father. There are two people working the jewelry counter at this department store, an older gentleman, who was helping out a family, and a girl maybe two or three years older than I am.)

    Dad: “I would like a replacement battery for this watch.” *hands her mine* “…and a black leather band that is the same size as the broken one on this watch” *hands her my mom’s*

    (My dad and I start discussing the other stops we need to make, and are not paying attention to the girl behind the counter. My dad glances her way and immediately cries out in surprise since she is jamming a screwdriver into the seam of my mother’s watch trying to pry the back panel off of it.)

    Dad: “Wait, what are you doing?!”

    Clerk: *surprised at being challenged* “I’m trying to change the battery.”

    Dad: “Only the smaller one needs a battery; that one just needs a new band.”

    Clerk: *slowly, and condescending* “This one needs a battery, too.”

    Dad: “No, it doesn’t. It only needs a band.”

    (The clerk turns the watch over and points to the (not running) watch.)

    Clerk: “If the little hands on the watch are not moving, it is because the watch needs a new battery.”

    (My dad is not known for his patience, so I decide now would be a good time to jump in before something gets broken. The other clerk behind the counter and the family he was with heard enough of the exchange that they were now watching us as well.)

    Me: “That watch belonged to my grandfather and was made before batteries were invented.”

    Clerk: *sneering* “Well, then, how does it go?”

    (I take the watch from her, wind it a couple times, and hand the (now running) watch back to her.)

    Clerk: *baffled* “Well… then… how does it go?”

    (I explain to her how there is a spring in the watch that you wind up, and as the spring slowly unwinds it powers the watch. At this point the other clerk had finished the transaction for the other family and they all joined us at our end of the counter.)

    Clerk: *still not getting it* “But how does it go?”

    (The older clerk motions us over his side of the counter where he replaces the band on the watch. The other family (which included children younger than I am, but knew full well that some old watches ran without batteries) begin trying to explain to the younger clerk how a wind-up watch works – she is still obviously not getting it. My dad pays for everything and as we are leaving we heard the young clerk one last time.)

    Clerk: “But how does it go?”

    Before You Serve Spinach You Have To Crack A Few Eggs

    | Twin Cities, MN, USA | Bosses & Owners, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (My boss has decided to add a spinach as a pizza topping to our menu. Since she’s concerned about the price of fresh spinach and the possibility of waste, she has asked me for some opinions.)

    Me: “Well, if you’re really concerned about waste, you could use frozen spinach.”

    Boss: “I don’t know. I thought you health nuts liked fresh.”

    Me: “Well, yes, but I’m just as concerned with bottom line as you are. How about we add another salad to the menu that uses spinach?”

    Boss: “I thought we could leave it as an option, but I was afraid the wait staff wouldn’t ask people if they wanted it and it’ll all go bad.”

    Me: “All the more reason to add a full spinach salad to the menu!”

    Boss: “What would we even put on it?”

    Me: “Well, strawberries are most popular, but those are expensive if they’re not in season. Oh I know! I’ve had a salad before that’s spinach, chicken, eggs, and bacon. That would be really good!”

    Boss: “You really think so?”

    Me: “Yeah! It’ll use the spinach and all those toppings are ones that we have stock of anyway.”

    Boss: “How would you do the egg though? Just crack it on top and leave it raw?”

    (I’m struck speechless for a moment while a coworker who has been listening to our conversation the whole time cracks up.)

    Me: “No, [Boss], we’d slice up a hard boiled egg. Like with all the other salads we serve that have egg on them.”

    Boss: “Oh! That makes so much more sense!”

    Needs A Chill Spill

    | Gadsden, AL, USA | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (My coworker is attempting to carry a tray loaded with drinks, shakes, and ice-cream.)

    Me: “Do you want help with that?”

    Coworker: “No, I got it.”

    Me: “Are you sure? There’s so much piled on that tray that something might fall.”

    Coworker: *annoyed* “No, I got it!”

    Me: “All right, if you’re sure.”

    Coworker #1: *takes one step back from counter and half the drinks fall and splatter on the floor*

    (After the drinks have been remade, another coworker just took half the tray out without giving the first coworker the chance to say anything.)


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