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    Category: Extra Stupid

    BLT, Better Luck Tomorrow, Part 3

    , | Atlanta, GA, USA | Bosses & Owners, Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (There’s a cafeteria located on our college campus. Most of the employees, but not all, tend to be enrolled in the culinary school.)

    Employee: “Hi, what can I do for you?”

    Me: “I think I’ll have a BLT on sourdough, please.”

    (The employee gets a baffled look and turns to whisper something to the manager.)

    Manager: “Really?! It’s bacon, lettuce, tomato!”

    Related:
    BLT, Better Luck Tomorrow, Part 2
    BLT, Better Luck Tomorrow

    Said Without Batting An Eye

    | Singapore | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Health & Body

    (I work in an office with mostly smart people – first or second upper class honours graduates. One day, one of my contact lens comes off and I am wandering around asking for saline so that I can replace my lens.)

    Me: *calling out loudly* “Anyone have saline? Contact lens solution?”

    Colleague: “Me!”

    Me: “Thanks. How long ago did you open it?”

    Colleague: “I can’t remember. Sometime last year? It’s a large bottle, and can be used for a long time.”

    Me: “[Colleague], the fine print on the bottle says that it should be discarded 30 days after opening!”

    Colleague: “Oh, is that why my eyes keep getting infected?”

    Finally Grasped The Weighty Concept

    | MI, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I’m still unloading the cart when I notice something the bagger’s doing.)

    Me: “Excuse, me, I don’t think you should put the flimsy plastic clamshell of blueberries in the same bag as the 10 pound sack of potatoes.”

    Bagger: *cheerfully* “That’s okay. They’ll both fit.”

    Me: “No, the heavy potatoes will smash the blueberries.”

    (The bagger was speechless, with a look of complete shock, like that had never occurred to him before.)

    Green Food Makes Him Green

    | Tulsa, OK, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    Cashier: “What’s this?”

    Me: “That’s an artichoke.”

    Cashier: “Oh, I don’t like those.”

    Me: “How can you know? 10 seconds ago you didn’t know what it was.”

    Cashier: “Um… I don’t like green food.”

    One Day Her Prints Will Come

    | MI, USA | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (A coworker of mine was recently promoted to replace her supervisor, who had left the company quickly and unexpectedly. Although the coworker is diligent and devoted, she lacks the background and training to be effective in her new role. In particular, she has no skill whatsoever with technology. I’m male and under the age of 50, so I’m her go-to person for tech questions.)

    Coworker: “[My Name], can you show me how to change the toner in the printer?”

    Me: “Sure.”

    (I show her how to change the toner cartridge, which is pretty easy given that there are instructions on the box and the printer, and the whole process has only four steps. Three days later:)

    Coworker: “[My Name], can you change the cartridge? It’s out again.”

    Me: “Okay… let me show you how.”

    (I show her again how to change the cartridge, explaining each step. A week after that:)

    Coworker: “[My Name], I’m gonna need help with that printer again.”

    (I sigh deeply, resigning myself to changing her printer cartridge every few days. A few more days pass:)

    Coworker: “[My Name]?”

    Me: “The printer?”

    Coworker: “Oh, no, I finally got that figured out.”

    Me: “Okay, great; what can I help with?”

    Coworker: “My stapler is jammed.”

    Me: *facepalm in despair*


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