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  • Category: Extra Stupid

    Let’s Hope It’s Canine Benign

    | Atlanta, GA, USA | Bosses & Owners, Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Pets & Animals, Top

    (The owner of the pet store I work at calls me into his office to listen to a recorded call.)

    Owner: “Are my employees idiotic?”

    Me: “Uh… what?”

    (The owner presses a button on computer and a recording starts.)

    Coworker: “Its a wonderful day at [Pet Store]. My name is [Name]. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “My dog has cancer. Do you guys recommend any special type of food?”


    Customer: “My dog has cancer, you f***** a**-hole.”

    Coworker: “…oh.”

    (The owner stops the recording and looks at me.)

    Me: “That wasn’t me. I don’t even answer phones! I stay locked up in the kennel, away from humans!”

    Owner: “I know. You hear all the gossip they sprout when they’re back there. Are my floor people idiotic?”

    Me: “… yes.”

    The Wrong Kind Of Same-Day Service

    | Mexico City, Mexico | Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (My mother, sister and I go to a Churrascaria restaurant to celebrate a special occasion. These restaurants are basically buffets where waiters periodically come to your table to offer you different cuts of meat, which are skewered on a sword. We eat until we can’t fit any more food inside. We receive a couple of coupons with the cheque.)

    Mom: “What are those for?”

    Sister: “It’s 50 percent for a person’s entrance.”

    Me: “Oh, that’s pretty cool. Let’s come again sometime, then. When do they expire?”

    (We notice then that today is the very last day they are valid. My mom is confused and calls a waiter.)

    Waiter: “Yes?”

    Mom: “We got these coupons.”

    Waiter: “Oh. Those are only valid after 6 pm.”

    Mom: “Yes, I know. But, is this really the last day we can use them?”

    Waiter: “Yes.”

    Mom: “So… Why give us coupons that expire tomorrow?”

    Waiter: “You can use them here again, today.”

    (We’re all so full that the thought of more food makes us groan. We obviously don’t use the coupons. We also got a form to evaluate the experience. We honestly rated the food and service as really good. We also made sure to point out that they should stop giving coupons that only work the same day you already ate there!)

    Not-So-Smart-Phone, Part 6

    | Germany | Employees, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (My two-month-old phone has suddenly and permanently frozen. As it’s still under warranty, I go to the store to replace it.)

    Me: “Hello. My phone is broken.”

    Employee: “Oh, dear. It is. Well, because it’s still under warranty, we’ll order a new one for you and notify you when it arrives in the shop.”

    Me: “Really? That’s great. Thank you.”

    (I fill out the forms and take my old broken phone home with me. About a month passes and I haven’t received a single letter or e-mail from the phone shop. I take an extra long break from work and run over there.)

    Me: “Hi, sorry. I’m here about a replacement phone? Mine isn’t working, and hasn’t been working for a while.”

    Employee: “Did you fill out the forms?”

    Me: “I have them all here, along with my old phone.”

    Employee: “Oh, this. Your phone came in about three weeks ago.”

    Me: “Three weeks?! Why didn’t you notify me?”

    Employee: “We did. We sent you a text message.”

    Me: “…wait, what?”

    Employee: “We texted you several times that your phone had arrived.”

    Me: “You texted me? But my phone’s broken!”

    Employee: “We sent you notification. I don’t understand why it took you so long—”

    Me: “Ma’am, my phone is broken. How am I supposed to receive, let alone read a text message?! I can’t use my phone! That’s why I’m getting a new one! How was I supposed to know it had arrived?!”

    (The employee pauses, thinks about it, then gives a huge shrug.)

    Employee: “We sent you a message. You should have come sooner.”

    Not-So-Smart-Phone, Part 5
    Not-So-Smart-Phone, Part 4
    Not-So-Smart-Phone, Part 3

    O, Canaduh, Part 3

    | Houston, TX, USA | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Health & Body

    (I work the front end of a printing shop. Our press operator comes strolling out on his way to the toilets, wiping his hands on a rag. Both are covered in ink and chemicals that I can smell from my desk across the room.)

    Me: “Jeez, that’s some potent stuff.”

    Press Operator: “Yeah. You know, it’s a d*** good thing we don’t live in Canada.”

    Me: “What? Why’s that? Don’t like the cold?”

    Press Operator: “Nope. Because that new cleaner that the owner bought me causes cancer in Canada, but I’ll be safe down here.”

    O, Canaduh, Part 2
    O, Canaduh

    A Total Air-Head

    | CA, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Extra Stupid

    (I am checking out, and my cashier puts my kale on the scanner and proceeds to smash the air out of the bag with her hand.)

    Me: “Why are you—”

    Cashier: “Well, you don’t want to pay more than you have to!”

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