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    Category: Extra Stupid

    Complete Lack of Section Direction

    | El Cerrito, CA, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid

    (My mom is shopping at a large chain bookstore soon before Christmas and is wanting help finding the science fiction section.)

    Mom: “Excuse me. Where is the science fiction section?”

    Employee: *looks extremely baffled* “Well, we have science and fiction sections.”

    Mom: “Oooookay. What about the historical fiction?”

    Employee: “I don’t think we have a section for that. Only one person writes it.”

    (She just gave up and found them herself.)

    Doesn’t Know Beans About The Menu

    | MI, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (My brother and I are both vegetarians, so we tend to make sure that items like soup are vegetarian.)

    Me: “What kind of soup do you have?”

    Server: “Minestrone.”

    Me: “Do you guys have meat in yours or make it with meat stock?”

    Server: “It doesn’t have any beef in it, but it does have beans. Are beans meat?”

    (Pause.)

    Server: “… It’s been a long day.”

    Not Very Good At Monitoring The Situation

    | OH, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I work in an office with older equipment that fails on a regular basis. One morning my computer monitor dies. I inform the morning supervisor and wait for IT to come replace it. Later, the afternoon supervisor arrives.)

    Afternoon Supervisor: “Why weren’t you taking calls earlier?”

    Me: “My monitor was broken. IT just replaced it a few minutes ago.”

    Afternoon Supervisor: “But you didn’t send me an email! Why didn’t you send me an email that your monitor wasn’t working?”

    Me: “Because… I had no monitor?”

    Coworker: *calls over in high voice* “BECAUSE… SHE… COULD… NOT… SEE… TO… TYPE!”

    How To Cheese Someone Off

    | Miami, FL, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (The restaurant is basically in the middle of nowhere, and the server is really snotty and rude. I’m here with my grandparents.)

    Server: “What do you want to eat?”

    Grandpa: “I’ll have a bacon and Swiss sandwich.”

    Server: “We have white cheese and we have yellow cheese.”

    Driving On Snake Oil

    | Concord, NH, USA | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Transportation

    Manager: “Hey, I just wanted to see if you could stay a little after your shift. [Coworker] called and said she might be late.”

    Me: “Yeah, no problem. Everything okay?”

    Manager: “I, uh, don’t really know. She said she was afraid her car might explode.”

    Me: “Her… car might explode?”

    Manager: “That’s what she said.”

    Me: “So, she’s going to be late because she’s waiting for a ride?”

    Manager: “No. She said she’s going to be driving in. She just wanted to let us know she’d be late if her car explodes.”

    Me: “If her car explodes she probably won’t have to worry about being late.”

    Manager: “I said the same thing, but she didn’t quite seem to understand.”

    Me: “I can’t believe you trust this girl to run a register.”

    Manager: “Be nice. I know she’s a little flaky, but she’s not that bad.”

    (Twenty minutes pass and my coworker walks through the door right on time. She quickly walks up to the counter where the manager and I are standing.)

    Coworker: “Hi! I made it on time!”

    Me: “Obviously. So I’m guessing your car didn’t blow up.”

    Coworker: “No, thank god. I was really worried because there was this weird light flashing by the speed thingy.”

    Manager: “Wait, you thought your car would blow up because a warning light came on?”

    Coworker: *nods* “It was really scary!”

    Me: “So, what did this light look like?”

    Coworker: “Oh, it’s some weird watering can thingy with the word ‘oil’ written on it. What do you think it means?”

    Manager: *stares for a moment* “I can’t believe I trust you to run a register…”

    Me: “Be nice.”


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