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    Category: Extra Stupid

    Bad Report Rapport

    | Dallas, TX, USA | Bosses & Owners, Extra Stupid, Technology

    Coworker: “Hey, [My Name]. Our internal emails are down. I’m letting everyone know and we’ll call when it’s back up.”

    Me: “Okay. No problem. I’ll spread the word.”

    (20 minutes later.)

    Boss: “Have you ran the report I emailed you about?”

    Me: “No. I didn’t receive an email. Didn’t [Coworker] tell you our internal systems are not working?”

    Boss: “He said something about an email problem. But you should have gotten it. So, why haven’t you done the report yet?”

    Me: “…”

    Let The Bodies Hit The Door

    | FL, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Ignoring/Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful, Transportation

    (I work for a funeral home and picking up a deceased person at a nursing home. I pull around to the back door since most prefer we go in and out the back. The front and back entrances to this place are just opposite each other. No matter which you use, it’s the same lobby.)

    Employee: “You have to use the front entrance. Pull around to the front.”

    Me: “Are you sure? I am picking up an expired person and most places prefer we use the back.”

    Employee: “No…  Yes. You have to pull around.”

    (I move the van to the front entrance and re-enter.)

    Employee: “Oh… you can’t come in this way. You have to pull around the back.”

    Me: “I did that, ma’am. You told me to come this way.”

    Employee: “No, I didn’t. Anyway you have to pull around the back to the white gate.”

    Me: “Okay.”

    (I go out and moves the van back to the rear, and find the white gate. I am there for fifteen minutes trying to get in.)

    Me: *seeing a staff member* “Sir, can you let me in, please?”

    Staff Member: “What in the world are you doing here? You should come in the back.”

    (I explains the situation and the guy lets me in and leads me to the apartment I need, with much thanks from me. I arrive at apartment to find everything wrong that could be. The patient is 350 pounds and is laying on his bedroom floor.)

    Police Officer: “Are you here alone? We told that girl at the front desk that you guys would need a team for this one.”

    (This is normally a two man situation, but I have some experience and can handle it… so I do. Paperwork, body on gurney, and ready to go. The same employee from the front desk shows up.)

    Employee: “Why did you park by the white gate? You have to go out [random side door]!”

    (I move my van to the side door and get out of there. It took all my willpower to just leave with only the one body.)

    An All Enveloping Problem

    , | CO, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid

    (My father is an attorney, and has hired a new legal secretary. One of the items she has typed up goes to several people at different offices at various addresses. That night my father brings home the envelope and shows it to my mother.)

    Father: “What do you see wrong with this envelope?”

    Mother: “The secretary put all the names and addresses on ONE envelope!”

    Father: “When I questioned her about it, she actually thought the mailman would go to each person’s address and wait for an answer.”

    (She didn’t last much beyond that day.)

    Atruficially Incorrect

    | Mansfield, OH, USA | Bosses & Owners, Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Language & Words

    (I’ve been working in my store’s bakery for less than a year, so I’m not familiar with all our seasonal items. With Easter coming up, we’ve started making hot cross buns. They smell amazing, but I don’t like raisins so I check the ingredients label. A few minutes later, the store manager wanders by.)

    Me: “Hey, [Manager].”

    Manager: “Hey, [My Name].”

    Me: “Hey, do you know if there’s like… someone who gets paid to make our ingredients labels? And if so can I have their job?”

    Manager: “Um. Why?”

    Me: “Because I don’t think ‘enzumes‘ and ‘atruficial flavors‘ are a thing.”

    Making A Ridiculous Statement

    | Canada | Employees, Extra Stupid, Money

    (I’m cancelling my credit card, after switching to another company whose card offers perquisites I’m more interested in having. After turning down the agent’s offers for other cards I’m not interested in, the following conversation finishes the call.)

    Agent: “Okay, I’ve cancelled your account. You’ll no longer have online access to the account and services. You’ll still be responsible for any charges that are posted to the account.”

    Me: “Okay. Are you going to be sending me a paper statement if there’s activity?”

    Agent: “No. You were signed up for electronic statements, which can be viewed online.”

    Me: “Which I no longer have access to.”

    Agent: “Yes.”

    Me: “So, how will I know if something is charged to the account if you won’t give me online access or send me a statement?”

    Agent: “You can still call in to our phone service.”

    Me: “So you’re not going to tell me if there’s activity on my account, but you want me to keep calling in to check on the off chance that something does?”

    Agent: “Yes.”

    Me: “No.” *hangs up*


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