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    Category: Extra Stupid

    Needs A Chill Spill

    | Gadsden, AL, USA | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (My coworker is attempting to carry a tray loaded with drinks, shakes, and ice-cream.)

    Me: “Do you want help with that?”

    Coworker: “No, I got it.”

    Me: “Are you sure? There’s so much piled on that tray that something might fall.”

    Coworker: *annoyed* “No, I got it!”

    Me: “All right, if you’re sure.”

    Coworker #1: *takes one step back from counter and half the drinks fall and splatter on the floor*

    (After the drinks have been remade, another coworker just took half the tray out without giving the first coworker the chance to say anything.)

    Wasn’t In The Top Percentile Of His Class

    | CA, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Extra Stupid, Math & Science

    (I work in a large import store that sold things like furniture and dishes. Most of these things are handmade, and so each is a little different. A customer has been in the store for a while, buying a variety of things but demanding discounts on everything for every ‘flaw.’ He is finally done, has paid and is leaving but spotted one last thing, a $90 wicker chair. I have to go ask my manager, yet again, if I can give him a discount.)

    Me: *to my manager* “He doesn’t like the weave and wants a discount.”

    Manager: “Fine! If it will get him out of here, you can give him ten bucks off.”

    (I return and tell him I can give him ten dollars off the price.)

    Customer: “Ten dollars? NO, I want ten PERCENT!”

    Me: “Okay, sir, whatever you say.”

    (I ring up the $90 chair, with his 10% discount, nine dollars off. He left happy, smug in his victory.)

    Wasn’t In The Top Percentile Of Her Class

    Didn’t Get Wind Of The Situation

    | Mobile, AL, USA | Crazy Requests, Employees, Extra Stupid, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (I work for a DVD retail store on the Gulf Coast when hurricane Katrina hit. The mall we are in is closed for a few days due to damage. I get this call not long after we opened back up:)

    Me: “Hello! Thanks you for calling [Store Name] where you can reserve [Some Movie].”

    HR Representative: “This is [Name] from HR. We show you are listed as a full time employee with benefits. Last week you only worked for 36 hours. Can you please explain why you didn’t get the full 40 hours?”

    Me: “You have to be joking.”

    HR Representative: “No, sir. This is in fact very serious. If you don’t have a good reason for not making your full time status your benefits will be revoked.”

    Me: “Do you know where this store is located?”

    HR Representative: “Yes sir. Mobile, Alabama. Why does that matter?”

    Me: “Have you heard about hurricane Katrina?”

    HR Representative: “Of course! All those poor people in New Orleans but I don’t see how this matters to your current situation.”

    Me: “…due to Katrina the mall was closed for a few days so I couldn’t work. Also due to Katrina I’m missing half my roof and my house has some serious water damage. Also due to Katrina my boss can’t come to work because a freaking shrimp boat washed up on the only road leaving his neighborhood.  Do you have anymore stupid questions?”

    HR Representative: *quietly* “No sir. I hope everything works out and sorry for your loss.”

    Me: “Thank you.”

    You’re Like Family To Me

    | Ashburn, VA, USA | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Family & Kids

    (We’ve just gone through a major event at my company and are still working overtime to get things up and running; it’s infrequent, but goes with the job. During some down time we start discussing work-life balance at the company:)

    Me: “Yeah. I mean, I’m a single mom with two kids and I still get to see them. It’s pretty good.”

    Lead Engineer: “Yeah, it is… Wait, how many kids do you have?”

    Me: “Two.”

    Lead Engineer: “I don’t know why I thought you had three.”

    Me: “Nope.”

    Lead Engineer: “Oh wait! I have three kids! ” *facepalm*

    Me: “… Do you mind if I quote this one?”

    Can’t Quite Pin Down That Line Of Thinking

    | Pasadena, MD, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I’m a manger in my store and every manager has their own alarm code so the company knows who turns on/off the alarm. After working nine days in a row, my brain is fried and I have forgotten my code number. After having the store manager close the store I call the alarm company to get my code.)

    Alarm Tech: “Thank you for calling [Company]. How may I help you?”

    Me: “I am calling about my alarm system.”

    Alarm Tech: “Is there a problem with the alarm?”

    Me: “Actually there’s a problem with me, I can’t seem to remember my alarm code.”

    Alarm Tech: *chuckle* “Okay, we can help with that. Now can I have your four-digit pin?”

    Me: “Um, you mean the pin for the alarm?”

    Alarm Tech: “Yes, that’s the one.”

    Me: “The alarm code I am calling to get because I don’t remember it?”

    Alarm Tech: “Yes, if you can just confirm your pin, we can continue from here.”

    Me: “You want me to give you my pin that I don’t remember, so you can then just repeat my pin number back to me?”

    Alarm Tech: *silence*

    Me: “Could you give it to another manager, who can then give it to me?”

    Alarm Tech: “I think that may be best.”

    (I hand the phone to my store manager, who gives his pin and then gives me mine. Not sure how the tech thought asking me for the pin I forgot was going to work.)

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