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  • Good To Sell Until Hell Freezes Over
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  • Category: Extra Stupid

    Not Driving To The Point

    | NY, USA | Coworkers, Extra Stupid

    (I work in an area very well-known for our inclement weather. A blizzard has just hit our region, and the county has declared a ‘state of emergency.’ Many of the surrounding towns have issued driving bans. I am able to get to work early, but due to the restrictions and weather, many of my coworkers are not.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Fitness Center]. This is [My Name]. How may I direct your call?”

    Caller: “Is [Operations Manager] there?”

    Me: “No, I’m sorry. She isn’t here today.”

    Caller: “Is [General Manager] there?”

    Me: “No, I’m sorry. He isn’t here either…”

    Caller: “This is [Coworker]. Why is nobody there today?”

    Me: “Because of the driving ban? It is illegal for them to drive here right now.”

    Caller: “Oh… that’s why I’M calling. There is a driving ban and I don’t think I can drive to work tonight.”

    Me: “…”

    Taxing Faxing, Part 14

    | Scotland, UK | Employees, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I not only have an IT-related degree, but am considered very tech savvy by my colleagues.)

    Me: “[Hotel]. How can I help?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I asked for a fax to be sent to me. I have received it but some of the details are missing.”

    (The fax is timesheets for agency workers and the employees have not filled in all the details.)

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. If you could fax that back to me I’ll get it completed.”

    Customer: “Uh, fax it back?”

    Me: “Yes, please. The fax is now with you so I need them back for the rest of the details.”

    (There is a pause and I slowly realise what I have said.)

    Me: “Er, I’m sorry; it’s been a long day. I’ll get those to you as soon as I can.”

    Customer: *laughs uncontrollably*

    Taxing Faxing, Part 13
    Taxing Faxing, Part 12
    Taxing Faxing, Part 11
    Taxing Faxing, Part 10

    There’s Many A Slip Twixt Cup And Lip

    | Canada | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Musical Mayhem

    (I work in a theatre group. While most of my coworkers are great, there is one that seems to be a bit of an airhead. On this day, I’m waiting with her in a dressing room. There’s a supply of clear plastic cups in the room for drinking water, and sound from the stage is being piped in.)

    Coworker: “I’m going to practice my routine, okay?”

    Me: “Sure. I’m on soon. I’ll be back after my scene is done.”

    (After I do my scene, I come back to find the girl doing the ‘cups’ rhythm to ‘When I’m Gone’ by Anna Kendrick. The cup breaks part way through the pattern. She throws it out and goes to get another cup. To my chagrin, there are several other broken cups in the trash.)

    Me: “Wait a minute. How many times have you done that?”

    Coworker: “Five… six… I don’t know.”

    Me: “And how many times has the cup broken?”

    Coworker: “All of them. Why?”

    Me: “Two things. First, those cups are meant to be for drinking, not playing with. If the cup breaks every time, it’s probably not strong enough to be hit so many times.”

    Coworker: *clearly not getting it* “I see…”

    Me: “And second, if you’d been paying attention to the speaker instead of your cup-flipping skills, you would know your scene is coming up in just a couple minutes.)

    (The girl ran to the backstage area, shocked. Something told me she’s not cut out to be an actress.)

    Might Have To Repeat What They Just Said

    | Kamloops, BC, Canada | Coworkers, Extra Stupid

    (They have sent one of the dumber servers into the dish pit to help us catch up with the dishes. At one point, I hear the following:)

    Server: “If they come out dirty, do we have to send them through again?”

    World Wide Watery Web

    , | New York, NY, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I’m on the phone, trying to resolve an issue where the cable company has mistakenly logged my account as disconnected.)

    Me: “I’m a little confused. The e-mail I received from you says that my account was disconnected, but I still have cable service.”

    Employee: “Well, that can’t be possible. You are disconnected. A technician went out to your residence and physically disconnected the lines yesterday.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I don’t think you’re understanding me. That didn’t happen. My cable and internet are still working. The lines have NOT been disconnected. If you have my account categorized as disconnected, why am I still receiving cable service?”

    Employee: “Well, there may just be some leftover service in the lines. That will get less and less strong as it finishes out and gets used up. That happens sometimes.”

    Me: “Leftover service in the lines? Like water in a pipe?”

    Employee: “Exactly like that. There is just leftover cable and internet in the lines. It’ll run out soon.”

    Me: “You do realize that cable and internet are not physical things that flow through a line, right?”

    Employee: “No, I don’t think that’s correct. The service goes through the wires and into your home, just like water through a pipe. You just have some leftover service in your wires.”

    Me: “… Can I speak to your supervisor?”

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