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  • Baptism By Fired
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  • Category: Extra Stupid

    It’s Credit-Crunch Time

    | Minneapolis, MN, USA | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Money

    (I do most of the bill collecting calls at our company. I call people many times to warn them that if they don’t pay by a certain date we send them to collections. A call comes in from a person we already sent messages to, which goes to my coworker, who is not the brightest crayon.)

    Coworker: *puts the caller on hold* “So, this person says they told you they were sending a check and thought you would stop them from going to collections.”

    Me: “Yeah, I remember them. I told them I can’t stop them from being sent. If they had sent a check the day I talked to them it would have gotten here before the cut off so they obviously didn’t send it.”

    Coworker: *confused* “Well, now they want to know why they should pay it if we already sent them.”

    Me: “Are you just telling me that’s what they said, or are you asking me to explain to you why they should still pay the bill?”

    Coworker: “Well… I mean… Why would they pay it if we already sent them?”

    Me: “Do you seriously need me to explain to you how credit works and why it’s in a persons best interest to pay what they owe?”

    (My coworker sits there staring at her desk like she’s trying to remember something very important. I can see the hamster is dying from exhaustion on the wheel. Then she slowly says:)

    Coworker: “Sooo… if… they… don’t pay… that’s still… bad?”

    Me: “I’m going to take the call from here. I seriously hope you don’t have a credit card.”

    His IQ Is Under 18

    | CA, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Extra Stupid

    (It is 2013. I am 20 years old and I stop buy the gas station store on my way back from a walk.)

    Me: “Can I get a $2 scratcher ticket, please.”

    Cashier: “Can I see ID?”

    Me: “Sure!” *shows ID that clearly states my birthday and in big letters: ’18 in 2011′*

    Cashier: *stares blankly* “You are over 18?”

    Me: “Yes. I was born in 1993.”

    Cashier: *looks down at ID again* “So you are over 18?”

    Me: “Yes. I am 20. I turned 18 two years ago.”

    Cashier: *looks at me really confused and back down at my ID*

    Me: *slightly frustrated* “I was born in 1993, it is 2013. It has been 20 years.”

    (By this point another customer has gotten behind me in line and witnessed the exchange.)

    Cashier: *blankly* “So you are over 18?”

    Next Customer Behind Me: “Dude, she is clearly over 18! Just give her the d*** ticket already!”

    (After looking at my ID again and handing back my ID really tentatively, the cashier finally sells me the ticket. I grab it and as I rush out. I mutter thanks to the other customer. I am guessing the cashier was either having a long day, or was just really bad at simple math.)

    Double The Price, Half The IQ

    | Birmingham, England, UK | At The Checkout, Employees, Extra Stupid, Themed Giveaway

    (I’m buying a jacket, priced at £55. The cashier rings up my purchase.”

    Cashier: “That’s £110, please.”

    Me: “Oh, the tag says £55.”

    Cashier: “Oh yes! I scanned it twice!”

    Me: *after waiting a few seconds* “So?”

    Cashier: “So that’s £110, please!”

    Me: “It should be £55. You’ve charged for two.”

    Cashier: “I scanned it twice.”

    Me: “I know. You’re charging me for two jackets, but I only have one.”

    Cashier: “Oh. OH! Do you want me to get you another jacket?”

    Me: “Thank you, but I think you’d better get me a supervisor instead.”

    (Unfortunately the supervisor was just as confused as the cashier!)

    Can’t Get Pasteurized Past Her Eyes

    | Jerusalem, Israel | Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Themed Giveaway

    (My wife is a big fan of specialty cheeses, and she likes when I surprise her with new ones she’s never tried before. She’s currently pregnant, so I need to be careful not to buy her unpasteurized cheese.)

    Me: *pointing to a random cheese I’ve never heard of* “Is that cheese pasteurized?”

    Deli Worker: “It’s goat cheese.”

    Me: “Yes, but is it pasteurized?”

    Deli Worker: “It’s goat cheese.”

    Me: “I know it’s goat cheese. I’m asking if it’s pasteurized or not.”

    Deli Worker: *stares blankly*

    Me: “Some cheeses are pasteurized, others aren’t. I need to know if that one is or not.”

    Deli Worker: “I don’t know what ‘pasteurized’ is. It’s goat cheese.”

    (I give up and just buy some brie, because unlike most of the cheeses in the display I could read its ingredient label through the glass. How somebody who’s been selling cheeses for years doesn’t know what pasteurization means, I have no idea!)

    A Total Basket Case

    | Pigeon Forge, TN, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (My family and I decide to stop at a moon pie store.  They are running a special: 12 mini moon pies from a bushel basket of assorted flavors with a specialty commemorative box purchase.  It seems like a good deal, but the bushel basket is running low on the chocolate ones.  There are a lot of full cardboard boxes next to the basket (12 to a box), so I pick up one of the chocolate full boxes and carry it with the commemorative box to the counter.)

    Me: “Since the basket is running low and I want all chocolate, can I just take the full cardboard box and empty commemorative box for the deal price?”

    Clerk: “No, the mini pies need to come from the basket.”

    Me: “Yes, but there aren’t 12 chocolate pies in the basket.”

    (The clerk then proceeds to take the cardboard box from my hand, open it, and then dump it in the basket.)

    Clerk: “There, there are now there are enough in the basket.”

    Me:  *facepalm*


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