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    Category: Extra Stupid

    Needs To Think Outside The Boxes

    | London, England, UK | At The Checkout, Employees, Extra Stupid, Math & Science

    (I happen to overhear this exchange between the cashier and the lady in front of me in the queue:)

    Customer: “Can I have 40 [Brand] cigarettes, please?”

    Cashier: “Sorry, we only have those in boxes of 20.”

    Your Very Own Loonie Tunes

    | Waterloo, ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Employees, Extra Stupid, Money

    Cashier #1: “Okay, your total is $5.06.”

    Me: “Here’s a $20, and I think I have a nickel around here somewhere.”

    (Canadians have recently gotten rid of the penny, so we round. I hand the cashier a $20 bill and five cents.)

    Cashier #1: “Here’s your change!” *hands me back a $10 bill and two toonies ($4)*

    Me: “…the total was $20.06, right?”

    Cashier #1: “Yup!”

    Me: “You gave me $14 change.”

    Cashier #1: “Yeah, I don’t have enough change to make the 96 cents.”

    Me: “I gave you $20.06, it cost $5.06. You gave me $14. I’m just missing $1.”

    Cashier #1: “Okay, one sec.”

    (The cashier calls over one of the two other people working the already-slow kitchen.)

    Cashier #1: “Could you get me some change?”

    (There are a couple $1 coins sitting in clear view. It’s clear he’s not understanding.)

    Me: “You know what? It’s okay; I don’t want to hold up the line.”

    Cashier #2: “Okay, no worries.”

    (Cashier #2 still proceeds to grab some money from the till, go to the back, and make small change for Cashier #1, who is doing nothing as the line grows. Cashier #2 comes back, painstakingly sorts the small change, and then Cashier #1 closes the till without giving me change. I then proceed to see one of the other staff offer my drink to someone else, realize it’s not theirs, and throw it out.)

    Me: *sighs* “Clearly, today is not my day.”

    I’m (Cashed) Out Ten Dollars

    | Stoneham, MA, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Extra Stupid, Money

    (I am finishing a sale at a store and chose to get $10 back.)

    Cashier: “The total is $2.28. Here’s your change.”

    (He hands me $8.72 and I begin to leave but quickly realize what has just happened and go back.)

    Me: “Hi, I just got change back when I wanted ten dollars back. It was a debit card.”

    Cashier: “So you don’t want your change?”

    Me: “No, I was already charged for the purchase. I would like ten dollars.”

    Cashier: *looks at the other cashier on duty* “Okay…”

    (He gave me my money and still looked confused as I walk out.)

    Oh Jews

    | Greensboro, NC, USA | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Religion

    (I wait tables at a local place known specifically for its ribs. Sauce on the side was a common request. A coworker runs into the back frustrated.)

    Coworker: “I don’t f****** understand this guy. I’ve brought him six cups of sauce on the side and he’s mad. He wants a manager.”

    (The manager isn’t back there so I go out to try and smooth things over.)

    Me: “Sir, I understand there is an issue. Hopefully I can take care of it for you.”

    Customer: “This better not be a joke. I’ve asked repeatedly for au jus and my server keeps bringing me cups of bbq sauce.”

    (I grab the au jus from the line and the customer is satisfied. I hunt down my coworker.)

    Me: “What just happened? He asked for au jus and you brought him a cup of bbq each time.”

    Coworker: “Au jus? What’s that? I thought he was asking for ‘Jew sauce.'”

    Me: *right eye starts twitching*

    Won’t Land Him A Job

    | TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Ignoring/Inattentive, Job Seekers

    (I answer the phones for an oilfield service company in an area that has seen a boom in a particular area. There have been many news stories about how many workers are needed, for companies, for this particularly fruitful land formation.)

    Me: “Hello, this is [Oilfield Company]. How can I help you?”

    Guy: “Are you hiring?”

    Me: “Well, this location is not hiring but other locations may be. You need to go online to [Website] and click on careers.”

    Guy: “Is this how you get a job at [land formation]?”

    Me: “Well, our company does have people at that location, but this branch does not. You really will need to go online to [Website] to see which branches are hiring.”

    Guy: “What is [land formation] hiring for?”

    Me: “[Land formation] is not a company, sir. It’s a physical location where companies put their rigs. You have reached [Oilfield Company Branch] and so I really can’t speak for the other [Oilfield Company]’s branches or the other companies doing work out there.”

    Guy: “The paper told me that [land formation] has a lot of jobs and I need to know where to apply.”

    Me: “Well, our company does have a presence at the [land formation] so you can go to our website.”

    Guy: “But you’re not [land formation], right?”

    Me: “Right. We’re an oilfield company, not a land mass.”

    Guy: “But the paper said that [land formation] was hiring. Can you tell me where to call?”

    Me: “There is no particular place to call. Many companies have wells at that location.”

    Guy: *getting frustrated* “I can’t understand why you won’t give me the number for [land formation]. I need a job. I’ve been out of work a while and I don’t understand why everyone is so unhelpful.”

    Me: “[Land formation] doesn’t have a number, sir. It’s a physical place, like a mountain or a lake, not a corporation. You cannot get a job with [land formation]. It doesn’t have management. You need to apply to companies in order to work there.”

    Guy: “Well, I’m going to get a job with [land formation]. If you’re not going to help me I will find someone who will!” *hangs up*

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