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    Category: Extra Stupid

    An Ongoing Scan-dal

    | Victoria, BC, Canada | Bosses & Owners, Employees, Extra Stupid

    (This happened a few years ago when I was shopping in a department store. I go to buy a sweater that has the price clearly marked on it. I take it to the till but it does not scan when the cashier scans it.)

    Cashier: “This item is not scanning; let me call someone to do a price check.”

    Me: “The price is right on the tag here. It says [price].”

    Cashier: “Sorry, but we need to scan it in order to make the price go through the till.”

    (Another employee comes over and I explain what’s going on.)

    Employee #2: “Unfortunately we can’t sell you the item if it doesn’t scan. Can you come back tomorrow after we get it into our system?”

    (I am a little puzzled as to why this is necessary, but decide to agree with them and come back the next day. Sure enough, I come back the very next day to buy it, and again it doesn’t scan.)

    Cashier: “I need a price check on this item!”

    Me: “Seriously? I came here to buy this exact same item last night, and I was told to come back today because the item wasn’t scanning and you needed a day to put in in your system!”

    Cashier: “Sorry, but we can’t sell the item if it’s not scanning.”

    Me: “Can you get a manager, please?”

    (A manager comes over and I explain the situation to her.)

    Manager: “Unfortunately we can’t sell you the item if it doesn’t scan. Can you come back another day so we can get it in our system?”

    Me: “Okay, let me get this straight… You have this item on your sales floor to sell, with the price RIGHT ON THE TAG, and you’re telling me you can’t sell it to me because it doesn’t scan? Not to mention I was told last night to come back again so you could get it in your system? May I ask why this item is even on your sales floor to be sold if people aren’t even able to buy it?”

    (At that moment, the till over from me called for a price check on an item… Guess what that person was buying?)

    Needs To Cement Out A New Contract

    | CA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Employees, Extra Stupid

    (A coffee bar has been under construction in our bookstore for a few months now, and some drywall has been added. I am shelving books when a man in an orange jacket with a clipboard walks in.)

    Inspector: “Good morning! Is the [Coffee Bar] contractor here?”

    Me: “Not at the moment. How can I help you?”

    Inspector: “I’m with the city construction division. The contractor wanted me to inspect the drywall he just put up. Mind if I take a look?”

    Me: “Sure, by all means!”

    (The inspector disappears into the construction site, which is hidden behind a giant wall, and I go back to shelving. A few minutes later, he walks out, looking peeved.)

    Inspector: “You said the contractor wasn’t here? Do you know what he looks like?”

    Me: “Unfortunately I don’t, but my coworker might…”

    (At that moment, my coworker walks up.)

    Coworker: “I can help out.”

    Inspector: “Yes, well, I came in to inspect the drywall, and what the contractor failed to tell me was that he put fresh cement in there! So I left lots of big footprints that he may want to smooth out!”

    Coworker: “Oh! Um… I’m sorry. I’ll call the contractor and let him know.”

    Inspector: “Please do. I don’t appreciate wet concrete on my boots!”

    (The inspector leaves, and my coworker beckons me over to the construction site. The wet concrete, marked with footprints, is painfully obvious compared to the rest of the dry concrete.)

    Coworker: “How the heck could he not see how different the wet concrete was? Was he just not paying attention?”

    Me: *singing* “One of these things is not like the others…”

    This Is My Last Report

    | Lake Forest, IL, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I am talking to our school’s new IT helpline that is handled by people in New York.)

    Me: “Emails from my address are not reaching outside the school. I can receive them but mine are not reaching them. I can send and receive emails from the school just fine.”

    Tech Support: “There is nothing wrong with network or server.”

    Me: “And you know this how?”

    Tech Support: “There have been no reports of trouble.”

    Me: “So the first report doesn’t count?”

    Tech Support: “There have BEEN no reports.”

    Me: “What about mine?”

    Tech Support:  “Huh?”

    Me: “I’m making a report of trouble?”

    Tech Support: “What’s the problem you’re having?”

    Me: “…”

    BLT, Better Luck Tomorrow, Part 2

    | Edmonton, AB, Canada | Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I’m at the coffee/sandwich shop next door to where I work. The barista at the till is sort of new, but I assumed she had a good handle on things by now.)

    Me: “Hello, I’d like a BLT.”

    Barista: “So, sausage on that, right?”

    Me: “That would make it an SLT.”

    Barista: “No, it’s a BLT. Says so on the board.”

    (A few seconds pass.)

    Barista: “…Oh, I get it! The bacon kind, then.”

    Troubleshooting Has Bad Aim

    | VA, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I call my Internet provider because my service is off-line. I navigate through an automated menu that has me confirm my service is totally dead and I am unable to get online. I’m put on hold to wait for a technician.)

    Recorded Message: “While you wait, you may review our troubleshooting tips online at www. …”

    Me: *to myself* “WHY did I just spend two minutes confirming my Internet was off-line?”

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