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  • Not So Closely Guarded
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  • Category: Extra Stupid

    Learn How To Stick To Your Guns

    | Atlanta, GA, USA | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Politics

    (One of our coworkers is a hardcore conservative, which would be all right if he appeared to actually have his own opinions rather than just what his father had been telling him.)

    Coworker #1: “So, I saw you posted a lot of stuff about gun control on your Facebook page. How do you feel about i?.”

    Coworker #2: “Gun control is bad.”

    Manager: “So you think anybody should be able to have a gun?”

    Coworker #2: “No, there should be screening and background checks.”

    Me: *facepalm* “That is gun control!”

    Drinking Gingerly In The Office

    | Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I visit a Caribbean place for lunch and buy a bottle of ginger beer. This is a spicy ginger-flavoured soda, usually sold in tall brown long-neck bottles. I don’t finish it at lunch, so I bring it back to the office to finish at my desk.)

    Coworker: *stares* “[My Name], what are you drinking?”

    Me: “Ginger beer.”

    Coworker: *whispering* “Maybe no-one told you, but you’re not allowed to drink alcohol while you’re working.”

    Me: “What? It’s not alcohol. It’s GINGER beer.”

    Coworker: “Right! It’s beer! You just said so.”

    Me: “No, ginger beer is no more alcoholic than root beer. It’s a carbonated soda.”

    Coworker: *leaving* “Whatever. When you get into trouble, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

    Don’t Ever Want To Visit The Farm Those Came From

    , | Portland, OR, USA | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (This happens about 10 years ago when I am working my first job at a fast food restaurant. We have recently gotten comment cards that are placed at each table for customers to fill out and place in a box in our lobby. I have a friend who always puts an obvious joke card in every time she comes. I’m training with my manager to be shift lead and we’re looking through the comment cards with another employee standing around.)

    Manager: “I think I found your friend’s card. It says her burger tasted like fear and shame and that we’re deplorable people for killing cows and that we should be skinned alive for coats.”

    Me: *laughs*

    Coworker: “We kill cows?” *the cogs turn in her head for a few moments* “Beef comes from cows?”

    Me & Manager: *laughing*

    Coworker: “No, really? Beef comes from cows?”

    Manager: “Where did you think it came from?”

    Coworker: “I don’t know? From pigs?”

    Me: “Well, where does bacon, ham, and sausage come from?”

    Coworker: “Umm… turkeys?”

    (We spent the rest of the day asking her where various meats came from. I’m not sure how she got to 18 thinking that turkey and beef came from pigs!)

    Can’t See Through His Windows

    , | UK | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I am working at an IT company that takes on new staff every 3 months. I started four months ago and am working on a project with the newest set of new starters who have been here for a month. Up until this point they have all been using temporary computer login accounts while I have had an official login for several months now. Today they all receive emails containing their login credentials.)

    Me: “Hey, [Coworker #1].” *no reply* “Uh…  [Coworker #1]?”

    Coworker #2: “Hey, [Coworker #1]!”

    Coworker #1: “Hum, yeah?”

    Me: “Are you able to login to your new account?”

    Coworker #1: “I’m trying but it’s stuck on the email configuration.”

    Me: “That fine. Can you try to run [Software]?”

    Coworker #1: “Why? I’m already running it.”

    Me: “Great, so your account is fine?”

    Coworker #1: “I haven’t tried my account but my email isn’t configuring.”

    Me: “Well, your email won’t work until you login as it’s configured from your account. Please login to your new account.”

    Coworker #1: “Yeah, I will.”

    (A few minutes later.)

    Coworker #1: “Do I need to add the domain?”

    Me: “Sorry?”

    Coworker #1: “For my login. Do I need to add the email domain?”

    Me: “No, in the email you received it will tell you your username. Use that.”

    Coworker #1: “I have but should I add the domain on the end?”

    Me: “Why would you add the domain on the end? It’s a standard Windows login!”

    Coworker #1: “Oh, okay. It worked. My email is configured, too.”

    Me: “Yay…”

    Coworker #3: “Did you really just talk [Coworker #1] through the Windows login process?”

    Me: “Apparently so.”

    About A 9.0 On The Ignorance Scale

    | MN, USA | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Geography

    (A new employee just started where I work. There’s a major snow storm going on, and since her car isn’t working and I just live down the street from her, I agree to give her a ride. We’re heading to work when:)

    Coworker: “Good thing it’s snowing. We need the moisture.”

    Me: “Yeah, we’re in a drought.”

    Coworker: “Yeah. If it gets too bad we’ll get earthquakes.”

    Me: *thinking she’s kidding, laughs nervously* “Yeah…”

    Coworker: “Yeah, the lack of water dries the ground out and that’s why the plates rub together. That’s why California gets so many earthquakes – not enough water.”

    Me: “…”


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