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    Category: Extra Stupid

    Made Of Flying Pig

    | MD, USA | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    Coworker: “Hey, what’s the bacon made out of?”

    Me: *thinking he means if it’s turkey bacon* “It’s real bacon.”

    Coworker: “Yeah, but what’s it MADE out of?”

    (I am so dumbfounded by the question I actually stop what I am doing and just kinda stare into space, unsure how to respond. Another coworker, seeing my reaction, jumps in to say it’s pig.)

    Left Is Right

    | Mountain View, CA, USA | Bosses & Owners, Extra Stupid

    (We have a minivan in for non-functional power sliding doors. My manager was able to replicate the issue, sort of – one of them did work sometimes for him.)

    Owner: “So you said one worked but not every time? Which side was it, right?”

    Manager: “Driver’s side.”

    Owner: “Left?”

    Manager: “Right.”

    Owner: “Oh, right? Passenger?”

    Manager: “Left.”

    Owner: “Left. Driver.”

    Manager: “Right.”

    Owner: “R—”

    Me: “CORRECT.”

    Manager: “YES. LEFT IS CORRECT.”

    With No Bacon, Comes Irresponsibility

    | OR, USA | Crazy Requests, Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (There is a restaurant in my town with great burgers but every time I go there something goes wrong with my order. Shortly after getting my order I flagged down a waitress to try and get it fixed.)

    Me: “Excuse me, ma’am, there’s a small problem with my order.”

    Waitress: “There’s nothing wrong with that.”

    Me: “Well… there is. I ordered the bbq bacon burger. And there’s no bacon.”

    Waitress: “So?”

    Me: “Well… I would like my bacon.”

    Waitress: “You didn’t ask for bacon. It doesn’t come with bacon.”

    Me: “But… it does. I’ve had it before. It has bacon in the name.”

    Waitress: “IT DOESN’T COME WITH BACON. You have to ASK if you want something added on. We’re not psychic!”

    Me: “Can you please just get me a couple of strips of bacon for this?”

    (She went stomping off and returned with a plate with two soggy strips of bacon, slammed it on the table and left. When I got my bill she had charged me extra for the ‘add-on.’)

    Micro-Understanding

    | CA, USA | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Technology

    (There is a burnt smell coming from the break room. Going in, I see both microwaves open and a coworker staring at the remains of two pocket sandwiches.)

    Me: “What happened?”

    Coworker: “I don’t understand. The box said for two sandwiches, set the microwave to three minutes, thirty seconds.”

    Me: “That’s when you put both in the SAME microwave.”

    Spinning Out Of Control

    , | Edmonton, AB, Canada | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Health & Body

    (It’s only a recently-promoted courtesy clerk and myself closing the deli. He’s doing most of the counter work while I do the dishes and clean the ovens. I come out of the back to find all the guards off of one of the meat slicers and him holding a cloth to it while it spins. Any time the guards are off the machine is supposed to be unplugged.)

    Me: *without thinking* “[Coworker]! What do you think you’re doing?”

    Coworker: *luckily jumping back* “Oh, hi, [My Name]! Check this out! You don’t have to scrub at it if you do this!”

    Me: “Do you have any idea how dangerous that is?! Turn that off right now!” *he does* “That thing could take half your hand off before you’d even feel the first cut! The guards are there for a reason! Now, go find your mesh glove and clean it properly!”

    (Looking chastised, he goes looking for the glove he’s supposed to be wearing anytime he’s working around knives. Figuring he’s seen sense, I go back to my dishes. Five minutes later I come out and find him doing the exact same thing, this time wearing his mesh glove.)


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