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    Category: Extra Stupid

    Tire-ing Of Your Stupidity

    | USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Transportation

    (I have gone to get my tires ‘trimmed,’ which is to cut off the extra rubber to make them more round.)

    Mechanic: *takes a tire off the vehicle, balances it, trims it, then places it back on the vehicle*

    Me: *walks over to supervisor* “Hey, your guy isn’t doing that job right.”

    Supervisor: “What’s he doing?”

    Me: “He’s balancing the tire before trimming it, instead of after.”

    Supervisor: “What difference does that make?”

    Dad: “…come here.” *they walk over to where the mechanic is working* “Okay, this tire here, that has been balanced, then trimmed. Put it back on the balancer.”

    Mechanic: *does so* “Wh… why isn’t it balanced anymore?”

    Dad: “The tire you cut off has to weigh something!”

    Misuse(r) Of The Password

    | England, UK | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I’m on a webchat with our IT department, when I realise I forgot the username of the PC I need. I quickly phone my coworker.)

    Me: “Hey, are you on [PC]?”

    Coworker: “Yeah, I’m working on it now.”

    Me: “What’s the username?”

    Coworker: “It’s [password].”

    Me: “Are you sure that is the password…?”

    Coworker: “No, the username is [password].”

    Me: *knowing he was in the wrong* “Oh, okay. So what is the password?”

    Coworker: “It’s [username].”

    Me: “Thanks!”

    Reschedule Your Attitude

    | NY, USA | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (There is a paper schedule that is put on the clipboard each week that is the schedule for the following week. Coworker #1 is mad because he has just been called in; he was supposed to have been in earlier that day.)

    Coworker #1:  “How was I supposed to know when I was to come in?! They should have it written down somewhere!”

    Coworker #2: “You mean like… a schedule?”

    (The first coworker was not too pleased with my second coworker but I believe the rest of us liked her answer!)

    Can’t Have Your Warm Cake And Eat It

    | MI, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (A friend and I have gone out to get dessert after work.)

    Me: “May I have the chocolate cake, please, and could you warm it up, please?”

    Waitress: “But there is ice cream on it.”

    Me: “I know but could you just warm the cake in a microwave? I don’t like it cold.”

    Waitress: “Oh, did you want me to leave the ice cream off?”

    Me: “No, I want the ice cream but I just want the cake warm.”

    Waitress: “But there is ice cream and it will melt in the microwave.”

    Me: “Just warm the cake.”

    Waitress: “But there is ice cream.”

    Me: “Could you ask whoever is back there to warm the cake up before getting the ice cream, please?”

    Waitress: “Okay, I will ask.”

    Me: “Thanks.”

    (My friend orders and then after several minutes our desserts arrive. My cake is completely cold.)

    Me: “The cake is cold”

    Waitress: “That’s because there is ice cream.”

    Me: “You know what? This is fine, thanks.”

    But Her Credit Score Is Alive And Well

    | TX, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Family & Kids

    (My aunt died this past January. Her bank bills her for February and March for their monthly service charge on her credit card, and then adds late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00… and now is somewhere around $60.00.)

    Me: “I am calling to tell you that she died in January.”

    Bank: “The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.”

    Me: “Maybe you should turn it over to collections…”

    Bank: “Since it is two months past due, it already has been.”

    Me: “So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?”

    Bank: “Either report her account to the frauds division, or report her to the credit bureau… Maybe both!”

    Me: “Do you think God will be mad at her?”

    Bank: “Excuse me…?”

    Me: “Did you get what I am telling you… the part about her being dead?”

    Bank: “Sir, you’ll have to speak to my supervisor!”

    (Supervisor gets on the phone.)

    Me: ”I’m calling to tell you she died in January.”

    Bank Supervisor: “The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.”

    Me: “You mean you want to collect from her estate?”

    Bank Supervisor: *stammers* “Are you her lawyer?”

    Me: “No, I’m her great nephew.” *gives lawyer info*

    Bank Supervisor: “Could you fax us a certificate of death?”

    Me: “Sure.” *fax number is given*

    (After they get the fax:)

    Bank Supervisor: “Our system just isn’t setup for death…”

    Me: “Oh…”

    Bank Supervisor: “I don’t know what more I can do to help…”

    Me: “Well… if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her, I suppose… I don’t really think she will care.”

    Bank Supervisor: “Well… the late fees and charges do still apply.”

    Me: “‘Would you like her new billing address?”

    Bank Supervisor: “That might help.”

    Me: “Odessa Memorial Cemetery.” *gives plot number*

    Bank Supervisor: “Sir, that’s a cemetery!”

    Me: “What do you do with dead people on your planet?!”

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