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    Category: Extra Stupid

    Said Without Batting An Eye

    | Singapore | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Health & Body

    (I work in an office with mostly smart people – first or second upper class honours graduates. One day, one of my contact lens comes off and I am wandering around asking for saline so that I can replace my lens.)

    Me: *calling out loudly* “Anyone have saline? Contact lens solution?”

    Colleague: “Me!”

    Me: “Thanks. How long ago did you open it?”

    Colleague: “I can’t remember. Sometime last year? It’s a large bottle, and can be used for a long time.”

    Me: “[Colleague], the fine print on the bottle says that it should be discarded 30 days after opening!”

    Colleague: “Oh, is that why my eyes keep getting infected?”

    Finally Grasped The Weighty Concept

    | MI, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I’m still unloading the cart when I notice something the bagger’s doing.)

    Me: “Excuse, me, I don’t think you should put the flimsy plastic clamshell of blueberries in the same bag as the 10 pound sack of potatoes.”

    Bagger: *cheerfully* “That’s okay. They’ll both fit.”

    Me: “No, the heavy potatoes will smash the blueberries.”

    (The bagger was speechless, with a look of complete shock, like that had never occurred to him before.)

    Green Food Makes Him Green

    | Tulsa, OK, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    Cashier: “What’s this?”

    Me: “That’s an artichoke.”

    Cashier: “Oh, I don’t like those.”

    Me: “How can you know? 10 seconds ago you didn’t know what it was.”

    Cashier: “Um… I don’t like green food.”

    One Day Her Prints Will Come

    | MI, USA | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (A coworker of mine was recently promoted to replace her supervisor, who had left the company quickly and unexpectedly. Although the coworker is diligent and devoted, she lacks the background and training to be effective in her new role. In particular, she has no skill whatsoever with technology. I’m male and under the age of 50, so I’m her go-to person for tech questions.)

    Coworker: “[My Name], can you show me how to change the toner in the printer?”

    Me: “Sure.”

    (I show her how to change the toner cartridge, which is pretty easy given that there are instructions on the box and the printer, and the whole process has only four steps. Three days later:)

    Coworker: “[My Name], can you change the cartridge? It’s out again.”

    Me: “Okay… let me show you how.”

    (I show her again how to change the cartridge, explaining each step. A week after that:)

    Coworker: “[My Name], I’m gonna need help with that printer again.”

    (I sigh deeply, resigning myself to changing her printer cartridge every few days. A few more days pass:)

    Coworker: “[My Name]?”

    Me: “The printer?”

    Coworker: “Oh, no, I finally got that figured out.”

    Me: “Okay, great; what can I help with?”

    Coworker: “My stapler is jammed.”

    Me: *facepalm in despair*

    Working Against The Clock

    | Berkshire County, MA, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, History, Technology

    (I am 15, and I have a cheap digital watch that has stopped working. My dad offers to pay for a replacement battery since he is going to the store to buy a replacement band for my mother’s favorite watch, an old-fashioned wind-up watch that used to belong to her father. There are two people working the jewelry counter at this department store, an older gentleman, who was helping out a family, and a girl maybe two or three years older than I am.)

    Dad: “I would like a replacement battery for this watch.” *hands her mine* “…and a black leather band that is the same size as the broken one on this watch” *hands her my mom’s*

    (My dad and I start discussing the other stops we need to make, and are not paying attention to the girl behind the counter. My dad glances her way and immediately cries out in surprise since she is jamming a screwdriver into the seam of my mother’s watch trying to pry the back panel off of it.)

    Dad: “Wait, what are you doing?!”

    Clerk: *surprised at being challenged* “I’m trying to change the battery.”

    Dad: “Only the smaller one needs a battery; that one just needs a new band.”

    Clerk: *slowly, and condescending* “This one needs a battery, too.”

    Dad: “No, it doesn’t. It only needs a band.”

    (The clerk turns the watch over and points to the (not running) watch.)

    Clerk: “If the little hands on the watch are not moving, it is because the watch needs a new battery.”

    (My dad is not known for his patience, so I decide now would be a good time to jump in before something gets broken. The other clerk behind the counter and the family he was with heard enough of the exchange that they were now watching us as well.)

    Me: “That watch belonged to my grandfather and was made before batteries were invented.”

    Clerk: *sneering* “Well, then, how does it go?”

    (I take the watch from her, wind it a couple times, and hand the (now running) watch back to her.)

    Clerk: *baffled* “Well… then… how does it go?”

    (I explain to her how there is a spring in the watch that you wind up, and as the spring slowly unwinds it powers the watch. At this point the other clerk had finished the transaction for the other family and they all joined us at our end of the counter.)

    Clerk: *still not getting it* “But how does it go?”

    (The older clerk motions us over his side of the counter where he replaces the band on the watch. The other family (which included children younger than I am, but knew full well that some old watches ran without batteries) begin trying to explain to the younger clerk how a wind-up watch works – she is still obviously not getting it. My dad pays for everything and as we are leaving we heard the young clerk one last time.)

    Clerk: “But how does it go?”


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