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    Category: Extra Stupid

    A Recipe For Disaster, Part 2

    , | Toronto, ON, Canada | Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (Since I was two, I’ve been diagnosed with celiac disease, which means that I can’t eat gluten. So I’m gluten-free, but most definitely not by choice. The most difficult part is eating out, because often employees won’t know what to do.)

    Me: “Is this item gluten-free?”

    Employee: “No, nothing is free.”

    Me: “No, does this item have any gluten in it?”

    Employee: “Gluten? What is gluten?”

    Me: “Wheat, barley, rye, oats, or spelt – are any of those ingredients in this product?”

    Employee: “One second.”

    (He then gets out his iPhone, and I presume it’s to call someone who created the product to make sure. Instead, he goes onto Google to search up ‘gltin.’)

    Employee: “How do you spell it?”

    Me: “Uh, never mind. I’ll just have [product that in no way could have gluten].”

    Related:
    A Recipe For Disaster

    Got No Beef With Chicken

    | Tukwila, WA, USA | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I’m sitting in the break-room at work. A group of three of my coworkers are sitting nearby sharing a chicken pizza that Coworker #1 bought. The pizza inspires a conversation on the fact that some religious ban pork or beef.)

    Coworker #1: *starts listing types of meat* “Beef, pork, lamb, venison, chicken…”

    Coworker #2: “Goat is really good.”

    Coworker #3: “Wait, if you don’t consider chicken beef, then what do you consider beef?”

    (All three of us just stare at him for a long moment.)

    Me: “Beef comes from a cow, dear…”

    The Sum Of What’s Wrong With Humanity

    | Brighton, England, UK | At The Checkout, Employees, Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Money

    Me: “How much are these CD cases, please?”

    Shop Assistant: “40 pence each.”

    Me: “I’ll take ten, please.”

    (The shop assistant pulls out calculator. I stand there in disbelief with £4 ready in my hand.)

    Shop Assistant: “That will be £4, please.”

    (I hand over £4, thank him, and turn to go.)

    Shop Assistant: “Hang on, I may have got that wrong…”

    (I turn around in utter disbelief, shake my head once, and leave. My friend is waiting outside.)

    Friend: “What happened? You look weird.”

    (I explain.)

    Friend: “We need a coffee to restore our faith in humanity.”

    Me: “Should we order separately… just in case they need a calculator for two coffees?”

    Email Fail, Part 2

    , | UK | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I work in a back-office job, where one of my previous tasks was approving staff applications for services. Because we’re office-based, staff in other departments rarely meet us. One day, shortly after we move over to a self-service application system to free us up for other tasks, I receive the following email:)

    Coworker: “Approve the application.”

    (Naturally I’m put out that she didn’t even bother to put a greeting line in, but I grit my teeth and reply.)

    Me: “Hi, [Coworker], I’ll need a bit more information before I can help. Could you tell me which service the application is for and if there’s a problem with the automatic approval?”

    Her Email: “Dear [My Name], I didn’t realise I was emailing a real person! I thought it was some sort of clever computer system that I just needed to send a quick yes or no to – so sorry for the very short and not at all detailed message!”

    (She then gave me all the details I needed. Although I couldn’t stay offended after that, I do wonder what she was thinking when she typed my email address in; it has my name in it!)

    Related:
    Email Fail

    Not A Pleasant Experience

    | Leeds, England, UK | Crazy Requests, Employees, Extra Stupid, Job Seekers

    (During an interview for a help-tech position with local computer store:)

    Interviewer: “Well… I can see you have 20 years experience and have the relevant qualifications. But I don’t think we can employ you.”

    Me: *rather taken aback* “Oh… well, okay. Thank you for being honest with me. Can I ask why?”

    Interviewer: “Well, honestly, it’s because of your age. We’ve found that older people don’t really ‘get’ computers.”

    Me: “We don’t really… You did say I was more than qualified, right?”

    Interviewer: “Yes, that’s right. Ideally we’d prefer someone who’s a recent graduate, say in their mid 20s so they’re more ‘in-tune’ with technology, like most young people are today. Frankly, you’re too old to know anything about modern computers.”

    Me: “And yet on the application it said you were looking for someone with a minimum of 10 years work experience?”

    Interviewer: “Yes. that’s right. Anything else I can help you with?”

    Me: “No… I’ll just go get my zimmer-frame and shuffle off now. Good luck finding someone who graduated at age 10.”

    (Funnily enough, they’re still looking.)


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