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  • Putting The Brakes On This Scam
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  • Category: Extra Stupid

    Sam, Dean, And A Little Baby

    | Adelaide, SA, Australia | Employees, Extra Stupid, Geeks Rule, Movies & TV

    (I am looking to purchase a copy of a tie-in magazine for the TV show ‘Supernatural.’ I can’t find it on the shelf but while I am browsing the owner asks if I need any help.)

    Owner: “Can I help you with anything?”

    Me: “Yes, do you have Supernatural Magazine?”

    Owner: “We don’t have that one but we have these! They are about the same thing.”

    (The owner has taken me around to the ‘women’s interest’ section and is pointing at magazines about babies and motherhood.)

    Me: “This is not what I was after.”

    Owner: “We don’t have Pregnancy magazine but these are all about pregnancy!”

    Didn’t Do Well With Pi At School

    , | Melbourne, FL, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I’m getting lunch and have asked for two slices of pizza.)

    Cashier: “Are you sure you wouldn’t rather have a personal pan pizza? It’s one and a half slices and it’s only a dollar more.”

    Incontinent Telephone Service

    | USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Geography, Technology, Tourists & Travel

    (I am planning a trip to France. I call my cellular provider to find out what I need to do to make calls while I’m there.)

    Me: “I’m planning a trip to Europe, and I need to know what I need to do to make calls while I’m there.”

    Rep: “I’ve looked over the list of countries where you can make calls, and Europe isn’t on the list.”

    Me: “I’m going to France.”

    Rep: “Yes, that’s on the list.”

    They’re Not On The Same Page

    | Dusseldorf, Germany | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I’m working in the local IT department of an international law firm.)

    Me: “IT support. How may I help you?”

    Lawyer: “I can’t print.”

    (I see the lawyer’s name and room number on my display.)

    Me: “Hello, Mr. [Lawyer]. What do you mean, you can’t print? I don’t have reports of printer malfunctions, yet. Could you please describe your problem further? Do you get an error message?”

    Lawyer: “I can’t print! There is no error message; the d*** thing doesn’t react at all!”

    Me: “On which printer are you trying to print?”

    Lawyer: “Which printer? F****** all of them! I even installed a printer on a different floor!”

    (I connect remotely to his PC and see that he has a Word document open and every printer in the selection box gives the status ‘ready’. Additionally I check every printer on his floor via our Web Interface for error messages. No error comes up.)

    Lawyer: “I need the last page printed out ASAP. Every time I’m in a hurry these d*** PCs aren’t working. Why can’t you and your colleagues get these f****** things to work like they should?”

    Me: “Uhm… you need the last page printed? That would be page three of that document?”

    Lawyer: “No, godd*** it! Are you blind? Here, in the line ‘print page xx’ I typed in page four! I need page four! I have a meeting with a client in five minutes and I need this page for my notes! F***!”

    Me: “Is this the correct document? Because I see that this document only has three pages.”

    (I change the four into a three and click on ‘print,’ and sure enough the printer in his office starts printing.)

    Me: “The printer seems to be working fine. Is this the page you need?”

    Lawyer: “Uhm… this is the page… Yes… Well… I can handle it from here. Bye.” *click*

    Training To Fail

    | USA | Bosses & Owners, Extra Stupid

    (One of my shipmates has a serious problem with her evaluations and relates with us what transpired. The sailor in question is a top sailor, with a lot of drive, and has frequently been awarded for doing work normally assigned to higher pay-grades. Normally evals do not drop unless you are screwing up.)

    Shipmate: “Sir, why did my evals go down?”

    Eval Officer: “Well, I couldn’t justify giving you such high marks anymore.”

    Shipmate: “What? Why? My performance hasn’t gone down.”

    Eval Officer: “No, it hasn’t. But last time, you were ‘the only sailor qualified on [system]‘ and we now have two people qualified for it.”

    Shipmate: “So, my evals went down because I trained someone else on this system?”

    Eval Officer: “Yep!”


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