Not Always Working on Facebook Not Always Working on Twitter Not Always Working Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Too Early For Proper English
    (908 thumbs up)
  • November's Theme Of The Month: Office Nemesis!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Extra Stupid

    Not Getting Just Desserts

    | Montreal, QC, Canada | Bosses & Owners, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (The owner’s clueless son has been given charge of managing our bistro. I have made a new batch of praline nougat sorbet. He has disliked me from day one.)

    Manager: *tasting the dessert* “I think we should take this off the menu. Nobody likes it.”

    Me: “It’s our most popular dessert item; the customers seem to like it.”

    Manager: “Well, I don’t like it. Make another batch and I’ll decide.”

    (I put the same batch back in the freezer. The next day he comes back and asks to taste the new one. I give him the same dessert from the previous day.)

    Me: “The pastry chef made it this time.”

    Manager: “This one is much better! Let’s keep it on the menu.”

    Me: “…”

    (I quit not long afterwards, and so did the rest of the kitchen staff!)

    Actually Made Fifty Shades Less

    | Mt Pleasant, MI, USA | Bad Behavior, Bosses & Owners, Extra Stupid, Rude & Risque

    (I am restocking the shelves when my manager comes round.)

    Manager: “Hey, we need room for a hundred new copies of that new Fifty Shades book coming out. Do you think we could get more room on these shelves?”

    (The particular shelves are very near the children’s section.)

    Me: “Really? Because it might be unsuitable for this part of the store.”

    Manager: “Listen, we’re putting them on the tables near the counters, and this is the counter most people go to.”

    Me: “Yes, because it’s near the very large children’s area. Parents won’t like it if there’s smut near the kids’ section.”

    Manager: “Just do it! There’s no more room!”

    (I do so. A few weeks later…)

    Manager: “Well done, [My Name]. The Fifty Shades series has been selling really well! We’ve sold almost every copy!”

    Me: “You do realize we’ve actually made less than usual in the children’s section because the next shelves, within a child’s view, might I add – are filled with porn?”

    Manager: “No. Just be glad we made a profit!”

    Me: “We didn’t. We often sell between 40 and 50 children’s books a month. We only sold 9 this month. Unless we put the Fifty Shades in a different place no parent will come here with their children.

    Manager: “We made a profit! We sold so many Fifty Shades books!”

    Me: *annoyed* “That’s because most bookstores don’t advertise them in full view! They put them in the back parts of the bookstores, so that’s why we’ve sold more than other local bookstores!”

    Manager: *not getting it* “Exactly! That’s why we’ve made a profit!”

    (A few parents complained and the manager was replaced. The adult novels are now near the back.)

    I Work In Death And Taxes

    | MI, USA | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Health & Body

    (I handle the billing for a retirement home. To keep the billing database up to date, I rely on the daily census sheet issued by our admissions department. Until recently, the census sheet was updated by a sharp, detail-oriented coworker, but the responsibility recently passed to a coworker who is great with people, but a mess with computers and data. I receive the daily census one morning, and notice that a resident who has passed away the day before isn’t listed.)

    Me: “[Coworker], I heard that [Deceased Resident] passed away yesterday, Is that correct?”

    Coworker: “Yes. It’s so sad. I’ll really miss him.”

    Me: “I don’t see him listed on the census you just sent me, though. Shouldn’t he be listed as a discharge?”

    Coworker: “Oh, I just couldn’t stand to put him on there; it makes it seem really permanent.”

    Me: “Death has an unfortunate tendency to be permanent, [Coworker].”

    You Outfit The Description

    | Orlando, FL, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Employees, Extra Stupid

    (I’m coming into the park through the backstage area to go to my attraction. I’m in full uniform. A security guard stops me at the gate.)

    Security Guard: “Can I see your ID?”

    Me: “Oh, uh, sure.” *gives him ID*

    Security Guard: “We got a call that a guest was walking around backstage and you match the description.”

    (Without taking into account that I’m obviously wearing a themed outfit for an attraction, not to mention I JUST handed him my employee ID, he still calls his supervisor.)

    Security Guard: “Ah, never mind. Looks like they found her. Have a good day!” *gives me ID back*

    Me: “Uh, thanks?”

    (He never seemed to realize his mistake!)

    Giving Business A Bad Name

    | USA | Employees, Extra Stupid

    (I have a very unusual name. A few years ago, I began receiving offers for platinum business credit cards in my junk mail. They’re addressed to my name, with “owner” on the following line. I have never owned a business nor held any relevant permits or licenses, so I find it very confusing. Eventually I get the following phone call.)

    Telemarketer: “Hello, can I speak to the owner of [My Name], please?”

    Me: “Uh… This is [My Name].”

    Telemarketer: “Yes, but I am looking for the OWNER of [My Name]. Can I speak to the OWNER of [My Name], please?”

    Me: “Wait, WHAT? You ARE talking to me. I’m [My Name].”

    Telemarketer: “So you are the owner of [My Name]? I’m calling about [credit card offer]—”

    (At this point I realize why I’d been getting that weird junk mail.)

    Me: “Um, no. [My Name] is not a business. [My Name] is MY NAME. I am a PERSON. And I don’t have an owner because slavery is illegal, last I checked.”

    Telemarketer: “This…isn’t a business?”

    Me: “No. I am not a business.”

    Telemarketer: “…[My Name] is… your… name?”

    Me: “Yes. So how did I get on this list? And who in their right mind would call a business [My Name], anyway???:

    Telemarketer: *rushed* “Thank you, sir. Have a nice day.” *click*

    (I never got any more of those business credit card mailings again!)


    Page 5/92First...34567...Last
    « Previous Page
    Next Page »