• Checked Out At The Checkout
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    Category: Extra Stupid

    Can’t Mail Past The Generation Gap

    | MD, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I have called to make an appointment to begin physical therapy.)

    Clerk: “What is your email address, so I can email you the forms to fill out for your first visit.”

    Me: “It’s [email], but my printer is just about out of ink. How many forms are there?”

    Clerk: “Um… about six?”

    Me: “I don’t know if I can print that many before it runs out. Can you snail mail them to me?”

    Clerk: “I don’t know how to do that.”

    (There is a brief silence while I gape in astonishment.)

    Me: “Uh… you don’t know how to fold up papers and put them in an envelope?”

    Clerk: “No, I don’t know what the forms are.”

    No Power For That Light-Bulb Moment

    | Middle East, US Army Base | Bosses & Owners, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I work overseas for the U.S. military. There is a periodic inspection of our living facilities and an inventory of all the items in our places. On the day my inspection is scheduled there is an explosion at the main power plant and half the country is without power for several hours. My inspection is done by candle light and with flashlights.)

    Chief Inspector: “Okay. Everything seems to be in order but I want to go over the paperwork with you. Would you please turn on the lights so we can do this?”

    Me: “Uhm… no.”

    Chief Inspector: “Why not?”

    Me: “Really? You just got done doing and inspection by candle light. What makes you think I can magically turn on the lights now that you are done?”

    Pretty Green About The Colors Of The Rainbow

    | MI, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Extra Stupid

    (I have decided to crochet a blanket using the color of the rainbow, so my sister and I go to a store and place six skeins of yarn on the belt: red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple. A teenage boy is the cashier.)

    Cashier: “That’s a lot of yarn!”

    Me: “Yeah, I’m making a blanket and wanted the colors of the rainbow.

    Cashier: *stares at yarn for a moment* “Since when is yellow in the rainbow?”

    (I start to smile, but realize he’s serious. My sister and I give each other a look.)

    Me: “Since forever.”

    Made Of Flying Pig

    | MD, USA | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    Coworker: “Hey, what’s the bacon made out of?”

    Me: *thinking he means if it’s turkey bacon* “It’s real bacon.”

    Coworker: “Yeah, but what’s it MADE out of?”

    (I am so dumbfounded by the question I actually stop what I am doing and just kinda stare into space, unsure how to respond. Another coworker, seeing my reaction, jumps in to say it’s pig.)

    Left Is Right

    | Mountain View, CA, USA | Bosses & Owners, Extra Stupid

    (We have a minivan in for non-functional power sliding doors. My manager was able to replicate the issue, sort of – one of them did work sometimes for him.)

    Owner: “So you said one worked but not every time? Which side was it, right?”

    Manager: “Driver’s side.”

    Owner: “Left?”

    Manager: “Right.”

    Owner: “Oh, right? Passenger?”

    Manager: “Left.”

    Owner: “Left. Driver.”

    Manager: “Right.”

    Owner: “R—”

    Me: “CORRECT.”

    Manager: “YES. LEFT IS CORRECT.”

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