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    Category: Extra Stupid

    Oh Jews

    | Greensboro, NC, USA | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Religion

    (I wait tables at a local place known specifically for its ribs. Sauce on the side was a common request. A coworker runs into the back frustrated.)

    Coworker: “I don’t f****** understand this guy. I’ve brought him six cups of sauce on the side and he’s mad. He wants a manager.”

    (The manager isn’t back there so I go out to try and smooth things over.)

    Me: “Sir, I understand there is an issue. Hopefully I can take care of it for you.”

    Customer: “This better not be a joke. I’ve asked repeatedly for au jus and my server keeps bringing me cups of bbq sauce.”

    (I grab the au jus from the line and the customer is satisfied. I hunt down my coworker.)

    Me: “What just happened? He asked for au jus and you brought him a cup of bbq each time.”

    Coworker: “Au jus? What’s that? I thought he was asking for ‘Jew sauce.'”

    Me: *right eye starts twitching*

    Won’t Land Him A Job

    | TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Ignoring/Inattentive, Job Seekers

    (I answer the phones for an oilfield service company in an area that has seen a boom in a particular area. There have been many news stories about how many workers are needed, for companies, for this particularly fruitful land formation.)

    Me: “Hello, this is [Oilfield Company]. How can I help you?”

    Guy: “Are you hiring?”

    Me: “Well, this location is not hiring but other locations may be. You need to go online to [Website] and click on careers.”

    Guy: “Is this how you get a job at [land formation]?”

    Me: “Well, our company does have people at that location, but this branch does not. You really will need to go online to [Website] to see which branches are hiring.”

    Guy: “What is [land formation] hiring for?”

    Me: “[Land formation] is not a company, sir. It’s a physical location where companies put their rigs. You have reached [Oilfield Company Branch] and so I really can’t speak for the other [Oilfield Company]’s branches or the other companies doing work out there.”

    Guy: “The paper told me that [land formation] has a lot of jobs and I need to know where to apply.”

    Me: “Well, our company does have a presence at the [land formation] so you can go to our website.”

    Guy: “But you’re not [land formation], right?”

    Me: “Right. We’re an oilfield company, not a land mass.”

    Guy: “But the paper said that [land formation] was hiring. Can you tell me where to call?”

    Me: “There is no particular place to call. Many companies have wells at that location.”

    Guy: *getting frustrated* “I can’t understand why you won’t give me the number for [land formation]. I need a job. I’ve been out of work a while and I don’t understand why everyone is so unhelpful.”

    Me: “[Land formation] doesn’t have a number, sir. It’s a physical place, like a mountain or a lake, not a corporation. You cannot get a job with [land formation]. It doesn’t have management. You need to apply to companies in order to work there.”

    Guy: “Well, I’m going to get a job with [land formation]. If you’re not going to help me I will find someone who will!” *hangs up*

    Tire-ing Of Your Stupidity

    | USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Transportation

    (I have gone to get my tires ‘trimmed,’ which is to cut off the extra rubber to make them more round.)

    Mechanic: *takes a tire off the vehicle, balances it, trims it, then places it back on the vehicle*

    Me: *walks over to supervisor* “Hey, your guy isn’t doing that job right.”

    Supervisor: “What’s he doing?”

    Me: “He’s balancing the tire before trimming it, instead of after.”

    Supervisor: “What difference does that make?”

    Dad: “…come here.” *they walk over to where the mechanic is working* “Okay, this tire here, that has been balanced, then trimmed. Put it back on the balancer.”

    Mechanic: *does so* “Wh… why isn’t it balanced anymore?”

    Dad: “The tire you cut off has to weigh something!”

    Misuse(r) Of The Password

    | England, UK | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I’m on a webchat with our IT department, when I realise I forgot the username of the PC I need. I quickly phone my coworker.)

    Me: “Hey, are you on [PC]?”

    Coworker: “Yeah, I’m working on it now.”

    Me: “What’s the username?”

    Coworker: “It’s [password].”

    Me: “Are you sure that is the password…?”

    Coworker: “No, the username is [password].”

    Me: *knowing he was in the wrong* “Oh, okay. So what is the password?”

    Coworker: “It’s [username].”

    Me: “Thanks!”

    Reschedule Your Attitude

    | NY, USA | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (There is a paper schedule that is put on the clipboard each week that is the schedule for the following week. Coworker #1 is mad because he has just been called in; he was supposed to have been in earlier that day.)

    Coworker #1:  “How was I supposed to know when I was to come in?! They should have it written down somewhere!”

    Coworker #2: “You mean like… a schedule?”

    (The first coworker was not too pleased with my second coworker but I believe the rest of us liked her answer!)


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