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  • Category: Extra Stupid

    Not So Smart Phone, Part 8

    | London, England, UK | Employees, Extra Stupid, Technology

    Me: “Hi there. I lost my phone earlier today. I’d like to place a block on it in case someone tries to use it. Is that possible?”

    Helpline Rep: “Certainly, and I’m sorry to hear that you no longer have your phone. Was it stolen?”

    Me: “I don’t think so. I think it fell out of my bag. I’d like to block it just in case whoever finds it tries to use it, since I genuinely don’t know where it might be.”

    Helpline Rep: “Okay. Is it the number you are calling from now?”

    Me: “… No?”

    Related:
    Not-So-Smart-Phone, Part 7
    Not-So-Smart-Phone, Part 6
    Not-So-Smart-Phone, Part 5
    Not-So-Smart-Phone, Part 4
    Not-So-Smart-Phone, Part 3

    A Common Theme Of Stupidity

    | USA | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Musical Mayhem, Top

    (In the bagel shop where I work, one of my coworkers can be a bit oblivious to things. She is also madly in love with a certain celebrity. There are no customers in the shop.)

    Coworker #1: “Don’t you think [Celebrity] and I would be great together? All of my friends agree that we would make a great couple.”

    Me: “Um, well, I’ve only seen him in movies. I’ve never read interviews with him or anything, so I don’t know what he’s like personally, but I’m sure you do. Do you guys have a lot in common?”

    Coworker #1: “Oh my god, yes! We have so much in common!”

    Me: “Cool. Like what?”

    Coworker #1: “Well, we both like music…”

    (I wait expectantly for her to elaborate, but she seems to be done.)

    Me: “Yup! You sound perfect for each other.”

    Coworker #1: “I know, right?”

    (She goes into the back. Coworker #2 has overheard our conversation.)

    Coworker #2: “Hey, [My Name], do you like music? Because I like music.”

    Me: “I LOVE music. Oh, my god!”

    Coworker #2: “We have so much in common! Do you realize we’re wearing the SAME shirt right now?”

    Me: “You’re right! It’s like destiny!”

    Coworker #2: “And are you wearing SHOES right now?”

    Me: “I am wearing shoes! I wear shoes all the time!”

    Coworker #2: “Oh, my god. Me too!”

    Me: “We’re perfect for each other!”

    (At this point, Coworker #1 has come back and seems like she might have overheard. I feel guilty, until Coworker #2 goes into the back.)

    Coworker #1: “You know, I never realized this before, but you and [Coworker #2] have a lot in common…”

    Hot On The Trail Of Stupidity

    , | ON, Canada | Coworkers, Extra Stupid

    (As I’m cleaning the heat chute, my arm accidentally touches the hot bottom ridge causing me to yelp.)

    Coworker #1: “Are you okay?”

    Me: “Oh, yeah. This thing is just really hot.”

    Coworker #1: “Really?”

    (Taps it once before resting their fingers on it for a couple seconds.)

    Coworker #1: “Ow!”

    Coworker #2: “What happened?”

    Coworker #1: “This thing is hot!”

    Coworker #2: “Really?”

    (Also taps it before resting fingers on it.)

    Coworker #2: “Ow!”

    Me: “…”

    Mugged Of Their Green Credentials

    | NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (There’s a coffee shop in the library on my college campus. There are signs advertising a school mug as a way to be more green, by using fewer paper cups. My friend goes there one day with one of these mugs.)

    Friend: “I’d like a [coffee].”

    Cashier: “That’ll be [price].”

    Friend: *handing over payment card* “I have one of these [College] mugs. Do I give it to you to fill?”

    Cashier: “Oh, no. You fill the mug yourself after we give you the drink in one of the paper cups.”

    Double The Size, Half The Intelligence

    , | Meriden, CT, USA | Bosses & Owners, Extra Stupid, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (I work for a rapidly growing research/manufacturing company doing all of their inventory maintenance and the majority of the purchasing. I am the only person who works in the warehouse/stockroom even though it is clearly a job for two people. That, combined with the fact that the computer they give me is old enough that it is running Windows ME, means that it is hard for me to keep up with purchasing all our supplies. I get called into the conference room for a surprise meeting with the head of HR, the VP of operations, and my supervisor. I assume it is to discuss getting another person down in the warehouse so I can keep up with the purchasing, which has more than doubled in the last three months.)

    VP: “Do you know why you’re here?”

    Me: “Well, I assume it’s so we can discuss the productivity in the warehouse.”

    VP: *looking disappointed* “So you have noticed that you have been getting behind with the orders for the past few months?”

    Me: “Well, yeah. We added a new research lab and an entire new manufacturing facility so the purchasing has increased a lot.”

    HR: “[Name], I think everyone here knows that’s not the source of the problem.”

    (My supervisor and I look at each other, confused.)

    Me: “It isn’t? I thought it was pretty obvious that the demands on the warehouse have more than doubled when we doubled the size of our facility.”

    VP: “[Name], we’ve had reports that you have been watching movies on your computer instead of working.”

    Me: “What?! Who told you that? I haven’t been doing that! I don’t have time for that!”

    HR: “[Name], I think it would be best for you just to come clean at this time.”

    Me: “Have you seen my computer? It barely handles email! There is no chance it could possibly play a video!”

    VP: “There is no other explanation for why you suddenly started falling behind.”

    Me: “When did I start getting behind? Was it about three months ago, when the new lab and production facility opened?”

    HR: “Yes. We think that maybe you just sort of gave up with the increased work and that is when you started watching movies.”

    (My supervisor and I are stunned into silence.)

    Supervisor: “… [My Name], I need to discuss this with [VP] and [HR]. Could you please go back to the warehouse?”

    (I found out later that the ‘reports’ came from a meeting with the executives where they were brainstorming about reasons why the purchasing and warehouse might be falling behind. They decided that I gave up and started watching movies on my computer, and so that is what they reported to HR. My new warehouse assistant started about two weeks after this meeting, and the VP avoided talking to me whenever she saw me. I found and started a new job four weeks after the meeting.)


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