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    Category: Extra Stupid

    Tell Them ‘NO’

    | NC, USA | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Language & Words, New Hires

    (As the assistant manager of a game store, I joke that we need to make sure our employees know their alphabet, as we could never find what we were looking for (usually misplaced on the shelves). One holiday season, I am helping a seasonal employee, who incidentally is a high school senior, work the shelves:)

    Seasonal Employee: “Hey, [My Name], does ‘R’ come before or after ‘V?’”

    Me: “Uh… before. You know, there’s even a song about it.”

    Seasonal Employee: “Yeah, but after I reach ‘M’ I just fake it.”

    Me: “…?”

    Doesn’t Quite Cut(lery) It

    | Phoenix, AZ, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid

    (We are seated at our table promptly. The table is clean, yet missing place settings. I turn to the waiter, as he is filling our glasses, and request more ‘cutlery.’ A few minutes later he came out of the kitchen with a (very sharp) paring knife.)

    Waiter: *laying the knife in front of me* “Can you all share the knife? We only have this one.”

    Me: “No, I wanted place settings. You know, dinner knives and forks.”

    (After turning red, he grabs the knife and flees to the kitchen, apologizing.)

    Me: *to my dinner group* “I’m never using the word ‘cutlery’ again.”

    (Later, another of the kitchen staff come out and handed out butter knives to everyone. The rest of the meal was a laughable mess.)

    There Is No Spoon

    | Greenbelt, MD, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I had just bought chili, and was gathering my utensils to sit down and eat.)

    Me: “Can you refill the spoons, please?”

    Cashier: “We’re out of spoons.”

    Me: “So, how am I supposed to eat my chili?”

    Cashier: *blank stare, then points at manager*

    Manager: “What’s up?”

    Me: “How am I supposed to eat my chili if you don’t have any spoons?”

    Manager: *blank stare*

    Me: “Maybe you shouldn’t sell chili if people can’t eat it.”

    Manager: <blank stare>

    Me: “Never mind. Give me my money back. I don’t want to eat here anymore.”

    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 33

    | USA | Bosses & Owners, Extra Stupid, Money, School

    (I work in a warehouse with my boss and a few other employees. My boss has been wealthy her entire life. I am working when she starts to chat me up about college.)

    Boss: “I don’t understand why you’re going to [Local College] instead of one two hours away. It’s a life experience.”

    Me: “Oh, yes, I know. I’s just much cheaper for me to live at home and go to [Local College] until I graduate. I don’t want to be in debt like most college students.”

    (My boss gives me a dumbfounded look.)

    Boss: “Why?”

    Me: “…why?”

    Boss: “Why don’t you want to be in debt?”

    Me: “…”

    Boss: “Debt is the American way. I was $38,000 in debt when I graduated, and I paid it off just fine. It was stupid of you to go to [Local College].”

    Related:
    From NotAlwaysRight:
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 32
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 31
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 30

    Toast Of Sandwiches Past

    | Vancouver, BC, Canada | Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I’m calling in a take-out order to a restaurant that I order from frequently.)

    Me: “Can I please get a club sandwich on whole wheat bread?”

    Cashier: “I’m sorry; we don’t have whole wheat bread.”

    Me: “Really? Did you stop carrying it? I ordered the same thing last week, and you had whole wheat bread then.”

    Cashier: “No, we don’t have whole wheat bread. We just have whole wheat toast…”

    (I have no idea what to say to that without sounding like a smartass, so I sit in silence for a moment. I can practically hear the wheels starting to turn in her head.)

    Cashier: “Oh. I guess we can probably use that bread to make your club.”

    Me: “Sounds good.”


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