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    Category: Extra Stupid

    Doesn’t Quite Cut(lery) It

    | Phoenix, AZ, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid

    (We are seated at our table promptly. The table is clean, yet missing place settings. I turn to the waiter, as he is filling our glasses, and request more ‘cutlery.’ A few minutes later he came out of the kitchen with a (very sharp) paring knife.)

    Waiter: *laying the knife in front of me* “Can you all share the knife? We only have this one.”

    Me: “No, I wanted place settings. You know, dinner knives and forks.”

    (After turning red, he grabs the knife and flees to the kitchen, apologizing.)

    Me: *to my dinner group* “I’m never using the word ‘cutlery’ again.”

    (Later, another of the kitchen staff come out and handed out butter knives to everyone. The rest of the meal was a laughable mess.)

    There Is No Spoon

    | Greenbelt, MD, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I had just bought chili, and was gathering my utensils to sit down and eat.)

    Me: “Can you refill the spoons, please?”

    Cashier: “We’re out of spoons.”

    Me: “So, how am I supposed to eat my chili?”

    Cashier: *blank stare, then points at manager*

    Manager: “What’s up?”

    Me: “How am I supposed to eat my chili if you don’t have any spoons?”

    Manager: *blank stare*

    Me: “Maybe you shouldn’t sell chili if people can’t eat it.”

    Manager: <blank stare>

    Me: “Never mind. Give me my money back. I don’t want to eat here anymore.”

    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 33

    | USA | Bosses & Owners, Extra Stupid, Money, School

    (I work in a warehouse with my boss and a few other employees. My boss has been wealthy her entire life. I am working when she starts to chat me up about college.)

    Boss: “I don’t understand why you’re going to [Local College] instead of one two hours away. It’s a life experience.”

    Me: “Oh, yes, I know. I’s just much cheaper for me to live at home and go to [Local College] until I graduate. I don’t want to be in debt like most college students.”

    (My boss gives me a dumbfounded look.)

    Boss: “Why?”

    Me: “…why?”

    Boss: “Why don’t you want to be in debt?”

    Me: “…”

    Boss: “Debt is the American way. I was $38,000 in debt when I graduated, and I paid it off just fine. It was stupid of you to go to [Local College].”

    Related:
    From NotAlwaysRight:
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 32
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 31
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 30

    Toast Of Sandwiches Past

    | Vancouver, BC, Canada | Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I’m calling in a take-out order to a restaurant that I order from frequently.)

    Me: “Can I please get a club sandwich on whole wheat bread?”

    Cashier: “I’m sorry; we don’t have whole wheat bread.”

    Me: “Really? Did you stop carrying it? I ordered the same thing last week, and you had whole wheat bread then.”

    Cashier: “No, we don’t have whole wheat bread. We just have whole wheat toast…”

    (I have no idea what to say to that without sounding like a smartass, so I sit in silence for a moment. I can practically hear the wheels starting to turn in her head.)

    Cashier: “Oh. I guess we can probably use that bread to make your club.”

    Me: “Sounds good.”

    Service Is Not Up To Scratch

    , | Aberdeen, Scotland, UK | Employees, Extra Stupid, Musical Mayhem

    (In this record shop, they put empty CD boxes on the shelves and store the CDs in cardboard wallets behind the till. I took a box to the counter, and told the assistant how happy I was to have found it, a rare CD that I’d wanted for a while. She rang up my purchase, found the cardboard wallet, SHOOK OUT MY NEW CD ONTO THE COUNTER, PRINTED SIDE UP, AND SLID IT OFF THE EDGE TO PICK IT UP. When she gave it to me, I opened the box, looked at the disc, and sure enough, it had several deep, parallel scratches.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, but… I don’t want this now that you’ve scratched it.”

    Assistant: *looks at disc* “Oh, I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

    Me: “…”

    (Her manager refunded my money, but I never did get a copy of that CD.)


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