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    Category: Coworkers

    Weathering The Stupid Suggestions

    | IL, USA | Coworkers, Crazy Requests

    (We run an unannounced evacuation drill of our sizable office building in the middle of April. The weather isn’t ideal, but it isn’t absolutely horrible, either. Employees provide feedback, and the feedback gets passed around.)

    Coworker: “So, it seems that among our feedback is the suggestion that we have coats stashed near the evacuation points, as well as someone to hand them out. Y’know; in case employees couldn’t grab theirs and the weather is bad.”

    Empowering Your Workforce

    | Singapore | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I am the administrative executive for my office, but, as we do not have an in-house IT person, I sometimes troubleshoot the simpler issues.)

    Colleague: “[My Name], I can’t turn on my computer! I keep pressing and pressing the power button and still there’s no light! I don’t know what to do! It was fine yesterday but it’s not today!”

    (At this point, my colleague is wringing her hands and getting increasingly shrill. I walk over to her desk and see the problem immediately.)

    Me: “[Colleague], your main power switch is not on. That’s why your computer cannot be turned on.”

    Colleague:“Oh, to save electricity I turned off the main switch yesterday before I went home. So, if I turn that on, I can turn on my computer?”

    Me: “…Yes.”

    Great Feats Of Meats

    , | Australia | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers, Food & Drink

    (I’ve recently started working the opening shift once a week, which involves arriving at six am to organise and fill the shaved meats. By the time backup arrives at eight am, I’ve made everything look perfect. Note that I require a LOT of coffee that early in the morning.)

    Coworker: “Good morning, dear!”

    Me: “Good morning! Look! Did I do a good job?”

    Coworker: “Oh, hey, it looks incredible! Did you colour code the meats?”

    Me: “I may have.”

    (The next week:)

    Coworker: “Good morning!”

    Me: “Hello!” *long pause* “Hey, tell me again how good I did.”

    Coworker: “It looks amazing; they should have you on every morning!”

    Me: “Aw, shucks.”

    (The week after that:)

    Coworker: “Good morning! Don’t worry, I know the drill. Oh, my goodness, the meats look just so good!”

    Waspish Behavior

    | Kent, England, UK | Bosses & Owners, Coworkers, Pets & Animals

    (Our office is in a converted barn in the middle of a rural area. As a result, we get a lot of bugs flying through the open windows in warm weather. On this occasion, a wasp was hovering around the window, but not quite making it out. The buzzing was starting to drive my coworker crazy.)

    Coworker: “Wasps are so stupid! The way out is right there!”

    Me: “Well, it is a wasp. They have limited mental capacity.”

    Coworker: “That’s not the point. It’s not that hard!”

    Manager: “You do realise we had to stick post-it notes on the doors downstairs to stop people from walking into them?”

    Coworker: “What?!”

    Me: “Yeah, wasn’t that because of [Surveyor]?”

    Coworker: “You’re joking.”

    Manager: “Nope.”

    Coworker: “How did he manage that?”

    Me: “Wasn’t concentrating. Walked smack into the closed doors. Wasn’t exactly humanity’s greatest moment.”

    An Absence Of Favors

    | MN, USA | Coworkers, Family & Kids

    (I work at a child care center and am the lead teacher for the younger toddlers. Every day my room has around 12 children between 16 and 24 months and is staffed with only two teachers. As such it can be incredibly chaotic much of the time. I am off one Friday due to a wedding and I am in the office when my coworker realizes she has been placed in my classroom in my absence.)

    Coworker: “What?! Why am I in young toddlers on Friday?”

    Me: “Oh, because I’m off on Friday, probably.”

    Director: “I know [Coworker’s Older Toddler Son] can drive you crazy when you’re in his room, so I switched you into young toddlers that day to do you a favor.”

    Me: “[Director], when is it EVER a favor to put someone in my room? That is the opposite of a favor.”

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