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  • A Swapping Standard
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    Category: Coworkers

    A Swapping Standard

    | England, UK | Bad Behavior, Bosses & Owners, Coworkers

    (The office has an attractive young female technician who uses her looks to get whatever she pleases (chocolate, tea, coffee, etc.) by men desperate to get her attention. She has now fluttered her eyelashes enough to get the whole office rearranged and a door blocked off so that she can sit on her computer doing nothing without being seen. It seems only my boss and I are unaffected by this flirting.)

    Me: “Hey, boss, what do you think about this office move?”

    Boss: “I see they did it when I wasn’t here, so I wouldn’t stop it happening.”

    Me: “You aren’t going to say anything?”

    Boss: “Apart for [Female Colleague] not doing anything, everyone seems happy; I’m not going to move everyone around for no reason.”

    Me: “Well, to be honest, I have been saying that I need to move for a while.”

    Boss: *leaning forwards* “Go on.”

    Me: “Well, you know how I do all the financial, sickness, and pay evaluations for the team? I do those with my computer facing the door. If I’m not careful everybody and anybody can see confidential private information.”

    Boss: “You’re right, of course. Hang on…”

    (He stands up walks to the door and shouts.)

    Boss: “Hey, [Female Colleague]!”

    Female Colleague: *looking up from her phone* “Yeah?”

    Boss: “You and [My Name] swap places. No arguments.”

    (We swapped and she sulked for a month!)

    Scrub Your Dirty Mind

    | MI, USA | Coworkers, Rude & Risque

    (Throughout high school, I work at a vet clinic doing basic cleaning tasks. Everyone wears scrubs, including myself. Shortly after I start working there, I bring my dog in for his vaccines. My 30-year-old male coworker approaches me in the waiting room, looking at my dog’s chart.)

    Coworker: “Hello, miss, you can bring your dog into room fou— Oh! [My Name]! I didn’t recognize you in clothes!”

    Other Clients: *look appalled*

    Coworker: “She works here… I’ve never seen her not in scrubs.”

    (Everyone looked very relieved after that explanation.)

    Needs A Chill Spill

    | Gadsden, AL, USA | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (My coworker is attempting to carry a tray loaded with drinks, shakes, and ice-cream.)

    Me: “Do you want help with that?”

    Coworker: “No, I got it.”

    Me: “Are you sure? There’s so much piled on that tray that something might fall.”

    Coworker: *annoyed* “No, I got it!”

    Me: “All right, if you’re sure.”

    Coworker #1: *takes one step back from counter and half the drinks fall and splatter on the floor*

    (After the drinks have been remade, another coworker just took half the tray out without giving the first coworker the chance to say anything.)

    Doesn’t Get The Warning Signs

    | USA | Coworkers, New Hires, Rude & Risque

    (I’m mute, and usually try to shop at places where an employee knows sign language. I’m also a lesbian, and though my girlfriend often goes out with me, this time she stays home. I go to a clothing store where I’m friends with one of the cashiers. I walk in, and a new hire is greeting people.)

    New Hire: “Welcome to [Store]! Can I help you find something?”

    Me: *shakes head*

    New Hire: “Oh, okay.”

    (I wander off to look at shirts. I notice him follow me, while trying to stay out of sight. He eventually comes over.)

    New Hire: “So, do you come here often?”

    Me: *signs that I’m mute*

    New Hire: “Geez, chicky, I don’t speak that. But I know you’re pretty d*** hot. Wanna go out?”

    (I quickly leave, and head straight to the checkout counter. My friend is there, and I quickly tell her what happened. She tells me to wait, and she leaves. A minute later, she comes back with the new hire.)

    Friend: “Is this the guy?”

    Me: *signs yes*

    New Hire: “What, is she giving me her number?”

    Friend: “Dude, don’t hit on her.”

    New Hire: “Why not? She’s a hot piece of a**!”

    Friend: “One, that’s harassment. Two, she’s taken. Three—”

    New Hire: “Well, I can easily steal her away? Who wouldn’t want me?”

    Friend: “A lesbian.”

    New Hire: “… She wasn’t that hot, anyway.”

    (He walked off, glaring at me. My friend got a manager, who wrote the new hire up for sexual harassment. He also gave me a gift card, and I taught him ‘thank you’ in sign language.)

    Human Contamination At An All-Time Low

    | Italy | Coworkers, Geeks Rule, Movies & TV

    (We’re inspecting a tube bundle and have ordered the tubes by rows and columns.)

    Coworker: “Okay, so the next tube is in row 23, column 19…” *suddenly screaming* “23-19! WE HAVE A 23-19! WE HAVE A 23-19!”

    Me: *leaps three feet in the air* “WHAT?”

    Coworker: “You never watched Monsters, Inc., did you?”

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