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    Category: Coworkers

    Ignoring The Pink Elephant Of Ignorance

    | UK | Coworkers, Pets & Animals, Tourists & Travel

    (I’m leaving to go on holiday over Christmas.)

    Colleague: “Have a great time in India. I want to see a photo of an elephant when you come back.”

    Me: “Indian elephant or an African elephant?”

    Colleague: “Either, really. What’s the difference?”

    Not Feeling Crushed For Long

    | NY, USA | Coworkers, Ignoring/Inattentive, Theme Of The Month

    (My coworker is known for not paying much attention to people, especially me, as I do talk a lot. We just got into a slight argument because I just said I don’t find her customer crush attractive. A regular customer comes in so I make her iced coffee before she orders it. However, my coworker still starts writing the drink down.)

    Me: “[Coworker], I made her drink already.”

    (My coworker keeps talks to the customer and keeps writing down the order.)

    Me: “[Coworker], I made it! It’s at the bar! Hello! I made her drink.”

    (I say this several times when she finally turns to hand me the cup.)

    Me: “Seriously? I’ve been telling you I made it already!”

    Coworker: “Oh, I’m sorry. I heard you talking but all I heard was ‘blah blah blah [Customer Crush] isn’t attractive’ and I didn’t want to listen anymore.”

    (She’s insane but I love her.)

    Management Concern Is A Car Wreck

    | NJ, USA | Bosses & Owners, Coworkers, Crazy Requests

    (The manager at my store is typically very friendly and affable, as long as you show up. However, he has a reputation for being extremely unsympathetic to anyone who calls out of their shift, ranging from apathy to outright anger.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. How may I help you?”

    Coworker: “Hey, this is [Coworker]. I’m going to be out a few days. I was in a car accident.”

    Me: “Oh, no. What happened?”

    (She explains that she was rear-ended while at a stop light, which knocked her out into the intersection and caused another car to hit her. She’ll recover fine, but she’s got minor whiplash and some nasty cuts and bruises from shattered glass and getting banged around, and may have some broken bones in her arm. The manager happens to be passing by and I relay the information.)

    Manager: “Oh, no! Please let me speak to her?”

    Me: “Oh, uh, sure!”

    (Surprised at the actual care in his voice, I hand the phone over to him. These are literally the first words out of his mouth.)

    Manager: “When are you going to be able to come in?”

    Half Of A Useless Answer

    | ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Math & Science

    (I’m working at the cash register and an item doesn’t scan. I call for grocery to do a price check.)

    Me: “This item doesn’t scan. Can you tell me the price?”

    Coworker: “It’s 50% off.”

    Me: “That doesn’t tell me what I want to know…”

    Weak-Minded Customers

    , | Oakville, ON, Canada | Coworkers, Geeks Rule

    (We are at that point in the day where we’d prefer not to get customers, because we’re tired and don’t want to be interrupted while we do our pre-closing tasks. The manager on duty tells us something funny that had just happened.)

    Manager: “There was a customer coming up to the door, and I just focused really hard and thought, ‘GET OUT. GET OUT. GET OUT,’ and he turned around and left!”

    (We all start laughing.)

    Me: “You telepathically made him leave!”

    Manager: “Yeah! It was like a Jedi mind trick!”

    Me: “‘This is not the [Restaurant] you’re looking for!’”

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