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  • Category: Coworkers

    Wrong Answer, Princess

    | UK | Coworkers, Geeks Rule

    (My colleague is looking for iced tea but can’t appear to find any.)

    Colleague: “Do we have any peach?”

    Me: *unable to find any* “Looks like it’s in another castle.”

    Colleague: “What?”

    Me: “…never mind.”

    On A Bad Roll

    | Minneapolis, MN, USA | Coworkers, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (I work in an office as one of three female admins. I have worked with Coworker #1 for two years and we make fun of each other a lot. Coworker #2 has been around for five months and this is one of the reasons we don’t care for her:)

    Coworker #1: *after walking out of the bathroom* “[My Name]! I can’t believe you didn’t replace the toilet paper on the roll when it was empty!”

    (I couldn’t figure out if she was messing with me or not because the tissue was low when I was last in there but not gone. I was about to respond when…)

    Coworker #2: “That was me. I found the extra toilet paper but I didn’t put the roll on because I was on my lunch break.”

    A Completely Different Kettle Of Fish

    | NY, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Pets & Animals

    (I work in my university’s dining hall. Though most employees are students, not all are. I am the cashier and am using the slow period to do some reading for an upper-level literature course. Coworker, who is not a student, walks by.)

    Coworker: “Hey, whatcha reading?”

    Me:The Hermaphrodite.”

    Coworker: “Oh, never heard of it.” *begins to walk away, then stops* “Is that about a fish?”

    Working In An Animal House

    | Ireland | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers, Pets & Animals

    (For security reasons, in my job you cannot walk behind the counter without someone opening a door. As a joke, I sometimes scrabble at the door and meow until someone lets me in. My supervisor gets a kick out of this, so I always have to meow to be let in.)

    Me: “Meow.”

    Coworker: “Why are you meowing?”

    Me: “Oh, [Supervisor] makes me meow before she lets me in.”

    Coworker: “Oh. Woof.”

    Me: “Meow.”

    Coworker: “Woof.”

    Me: “Meow.”

    Coworker: “WOOF.”

    Me: *giving in* “Woof.”

    Coworker: “You sicken me!”

    Scheduling The End

    | TX, USA | Coworkers, Crazy Requests, Holidays, Lazy/Unhelpful, Top

    (I’m only 23, but I’m good at what I do and I was promoted to management in the customer service department a few months ago. I have been instructed to hire two people to work under me, but I’m having trouble finding and keeping qualified people. One employee has stuck around, but I like her less everyday. She frequently makes long personal calls at her desk while on the clock. I have caught her on Facebook and checking her personal email on her work computer. I notice her working on something at her desk but think nothing of it. Several hours later she comes over and hands me a three page packet of calendars.)

    Employee: “I’ve taken the liberty of writing up my work schedule for the next three months. Please agree to work around it.”

    Me: *taken aback at her gall* “Um, that’s not how we handle the schedule here. I write the schedule and if you have any special circumstances I can take those into consideration.”

    Employee: “No, just use this. This is what I want.”

    Me: “I understand that, but ultimately I will schedule you when I need you to be here.”

    (She tries to argue with me but I go back to work. She hounds me nearly every day about the schedule she has written since she presented it to me. I’ve had enough.)

    Employee: “So, have you finished looking over my schedule yet?”

    Me: “Yes. I’m letting you go.”


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