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    Category: Coworkers

    Totally Off Your Nut

    , | NE, USA | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I have a coworker with a very bad nut allergy; bad enough that he carries an EpiPen with him in his car. I walk in on him having this conversation with the other cooks one day.)

    Coworker: “I almost died the other day. I ate an Almond Joy because I didn’t know there was coconut in it and had to go to the hospital.”

    Manager: “Aren’t you deathly allergic to almonds, too?”

    Coworker: “Yeah. Why… OH!  Wow, that was stupid of me.”

    On A Stool’s Errand

    | WA, USA | Coworkers, Health & Body

    (I am working in a public health clinic pharmacy. A worker from another department walks in the door and drops a baggie on the counter.)

    Worker: “Hi. Here’s the stool sample you wanted.”

    Me: *attempting to hide my intense feelings of alarm* “Um, this is the pharmacy. I think you want the lab. It’s across the hall.”

    Worker: *snatches bag off counter* “Okay.”

    (The woman left. I immediately began frantically sanitizing the counter.)

    Infernal Internal Error

    | USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers, Technology

    (My coworker gets an email from our office supply rep.)

    Email: “Dear [Coworker],

    Thanks for being a jerk.


    [Office Supply Rep].”

    Coworker: “What did I do?”

    (An hour or so later…)

    Email: “I apologize if you recently received an email from me. This was an internal error. The problem has been resolved.”

    Come To Work To Make A Name For Yourself

    | Iowa City, IA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers

    (For whatever reason, there’s a stash of name tags in our restaurant’s office. Occasionally, I’ll pick out one to wear for the day and go by that name with all of my customers. On this day, I picked out a male name, which also happens to be the name of another coworker. We look nothing alike: He is tall, heavy-set, and dark haired, while I’m a very petite, light haired female.)

    Customer: “Your name is [Male Coworker]? That’s very unusual!”

    Me: “Yeah, I get that a lot.”

    Customer: *pointing at male coworker* “Isn’t he also [Male Coworker]?”

    Me: *deadpan* “Yeah, he’s actually my twin brother. He was such a big baby they couldn’t see on the ultrasounds that I was in there, too. Our parents got a huge surprise when I was born three minutes later. They didn’t have another name picked out, so they just named us both [Male Coworker]!”

    Customer: “Really?! That’s quite interesting! How did you guys know which one they were yelling for when you were growing up?”

    Me: “Well, it was usually both of us because we were always getting into trouble together. But, parents always seem to mix up their kids’ names, so our parents actually had it a little easier than most.”

    Customer: “Huh, I never thought of it like that.”

    Me: “All right. Well, let me know if you need anything. As you know, my name is [Male Coworker]!”

    (I recounted the episode to my coworker and we had a good laugh over it. I ended up telling the story at least three more times that day and not a single person questioned me.)

    Having A Ball With It

    | Doylestown, PA, USA | Coworkers, Language & Words, Rude & Risque

    Coworker #1: “Hey, did anyone see my blue stress ball? It’s missing. Someone must have gone through my drawers and taken it.”

    Coworker #2: “Nobody should be going in your drawers except your wife.”

    Coworker #1: “That hasn’t happened for 16 years. Man, I can’t believe someone took that!”

    Me: “So what you’re saying is, when you find out who reached in your drawers and grabbed your blue ball you’re gonna be pretty upset?”

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