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    Category: Coworkers

    A Watered-Down Service

    | Cebu, Philippines | Bad Behavior, Coworkers, Food & Drink, Top

    (There’s a certain coworker that has been ignoring and annoying the customers. One night, we’re very packed and I see a young woman come in. The following is a conversation between them:)

    Woman: “Hi. Can I get a table over by the window?”

    Coworker: *ignores her*

    Woman: “Excuse me. Could I get the table over by the window, please?”

    Coworker: *continues to ignore her*

    (By now, the woman is slightly irritated but manages to keep calm. After a few minutes of ignoring her, the worker finally gives her the table.)

    Coworker: *mumbling* “What do you wanna eat?”

    Woman: “Excuse me?”

    Coworker: *sighs dramatically* “Are you f***ing deaf, lady? I asked you what you want to eat. Are you gonna tell me or not?”

    (The woman has a look of anger but instead grins and I’ll never forget what she does next.)

    Woman: *smiling to me* “Miss? Yes, you. Could you bring that glass of water over here?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

    Woman: “Here’s one on the house, a**hole!”

    (She tosses the water in his face, completely catching him off guard. I try my best not to laugh as she picks up her purse and leaves. The coworker shouts profanities at her while someone fetches the manager. After my statement against him, the manager fires him.)

    The Key To Copying

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Top

    (I am the private secretary for a very wealthy and prestigious attorney. He works in entertainment law and has many famous clients. He also owns a fabulous house on the Malibu coastline and will frequently loan it out to dignitaries visiting California. It is just before a major holiday, and he is instructing the new girl who has JUST been hired.)

    Attorney: “Senator [Name] is visiting. I’ve given him permission to use the condo while I’m out of town.”

    (He hands the new girl the front door key.)

    Attorney: “I need you to have a copy made of this key to give to him. Since he is arriving late Friday, he knows he can pick up the key at the building security desk. Copy the key and leave it with the guard when you leave tonight. Put the key back in my desk drawer. I have a plane to catch. I’ll be gone the rest of next week.”

    New Girl: “Yes, sir.”

    Me: “I can take care of that if you like.”

    New Girl: “Oh, no, it’s easy. I’ll do it.”

    (It wasn’t until Monday morning that I heard what had actually happened. The senator had arrived late that night and the security guard had obligingly handed him an envelope with the law firm’s address on it and his name neatly written on the front. Inside was a sheet of paper with a PHOTOCOPIED image of the attorney’s Malibu condo key!)

    Cannot Change The Change Outcome

    | MI, USA | At The Checkout, Coworkers, Extra Stupid

    (I bought a DVD only to find it was a duplicate of one I had at home. I work for a similar store, so I know to leave the movie shrink wrapped and save my receipt. I return the next week and pick out a different, more expensive one.)

    Me: “I would like to return this movie, since we already had it. Will you accept the return, even though it’s from the dollar bin? I have the receipt here.”

    Clerk: “Sure, no problem.”

    Me: “I would also like to purchase this one.”

    (I put the more expensive DVD on the counter.)

    Clerk: *rings up everything* “Here’s your change.”

    Me: “No, I’m returning the dollar one, and buying the $5 one.”

    Clerk: “Yep! Which means I owe you $4.24.”

    (I stand there a moment, flummoxed that anyone could be that dumb. I look at my friend. I try to explain it a second time unsuccessfully, and we walk away.)

    Me: “You saw that I tried, right?”

    Friend: “Yep. You tried. When her drawer comes up short, it won’t be your fault!”

    (I ended up giving the money to charity later!)

    Turning The Air(waves) Blue

    | Pensacola, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Coworkers, Rude & Risque, Theme Of The Month

    (As my husband and I are checking out with a very friendly cashier, her radio beeps on, and we hear her coworkers speaking.)

    Coworker #1: “Hey, [Name]! Are you going to come help me with this customer or not?”

    Coworker #2: “I’m in firewood with someone.”

    Coworker #1: “My God, you light it on fire! Hurry up! D*** it!”

    (The cashier puts a hand over her mouth.)

    Cashier: “I am SO sorry you had to hear my coworker swear.”

    Me: “Oh, it’s fine. I’m sure—”

    Coworker #2: “Yeah, well, why don’t you tell my customer that, you a**?”

    Cashier: “I beg your pardon.”

    (She pulls her radio from her vest to speak into it.)

    Cashier: “Okay. Let’s be nice, children. MY customers don’t appreciate hearing you swear over the radio. Thanks.”

    Hotel California In Philadelphia

    | Kirkland, WA, USA | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Musical Mayhem

    (I am having dinner with my supervisors from the office where I am an intern. The local football team will be going to the Super Bowl this year. I am aware of this, but don’t think about it much as I am not into sports.)

    Coworker: *to me* “So, are you an Eagles fan?”

    Me: “Well, I haven’t heard a lot of their music, but what I have heard, I like.”

    (My coworker stared at me, trying to figure out if I was joking, until I realized what he actually had been asking.)


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