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    Category: Coworkers

    Ignoring The Meat Of The Matter

    , | Peterborough, ON, Canada | Coworkers, Food & Drink, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (Our broiler breaks down during lunch service. It’s our only means of cooking burgers. Fortunately we still have a small number on hold but not enough to last very long. I’m working in the back making the orders. We sell the last of the meat and are now only able to offer chicken. I inform the cashiers of this and they all acknowledge it. Moments later an order comes up for two burgers.)

    Me: “We don’t have meat.”

    (The cashier keeps going.)

    Me: *louder* “We’re out of meat.”

    (The cashier keeps going.)

    Me: *practically yelling now* “[Cashier], WE DON’T HAVE MEAT!”

    (The cashier finishes the order and I’m finally able to get her attention.)

    Me: “[Cashier], you know we don’t have any meat left, right?”

    Cashier: *blank stare* “Yeah, so?”

    Me: “So… what did you just sell?”

    Cashier: “Two burgers, why?”

    Me: “What am I supposed to make them with?”

    Cashier: “Uh, the meat.”

    Me: “The meat we don’t have any of?”

    Cashier: “OH! When did we run out?”

    Misuse(r) Of The Password

    | England, UK | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I’m on a webchat with our IT department, when I realise I forgot the username of the PC I need. I quickly phone my coworker.)

    Me: “Hey, are you on [PC]?”

    Coworker: “Yeah, I’m working on it now.”

    Me: “What’s the username?”

    Coworker: “It’s [password].”

    Me: “Are you sure that is the password…?”

    Coworker: “No, the username is [password].”

    Me: *knowing he was in the wrong* “Oh, okay. So what is the password?”

    Coworker: “It’s [username].”

    Me: “Thanks!”

    Reschedule Your Attitude

    | NY, USA | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (There is a paper schedule that is put on the clipboard each week that is the schedule for the following week. Coworker #1 is mad because he has just been called in; he was supposed to have been in earlier that day.)

    Coworker #1:  “How was I supposed to know when I was to come in?! They should have it written down somewhere!”

    Coworker #2: “You mean like… a schedule?”

    (The first coworker was not too pleased with my second coworker but I believe the rest of us liked her answer!)

    Needs To Get A Stronger Backbone

    | Pasadena, MD, USA | Coworkers, Health & Body, Lazy/Unhelpful, Liars/Scammers

    (I work at a car parts store. One of my coworkers is not that bright, but also very lazy. He tries to get out of work whenever he can.)

    Coworker: “Aw, man, my back is killing me. Can I go home early?”

    Me: “No, you went home early yesterday.”

    Coworker: “But my back is killing me today and it just gets worse.”

    Me: “How can your back get worse? You haven’t done anything over then deliver parts all day.”

    Coworker: “Yeah, but sitting makes it worse.”

    (The next day.)

    Coworker: *calls in* “I’m going to be late. I hurt my back this morning.”

    (The next day.)

    Coworker: “I need to leave early. I hurt my back.”

    Me: “No. My back hurts, too. You have to stay as long as I do.”

    Coworker: “But no one in this store has worse back issues than me!”

    Me: “Incorrect. I have had issue with my back since puberty, having constant muscle spasms. [Coworker #2] has a terrible knee, but can still stand and deliver parts without issue. [Coworker #3] has had lordosis, causing her back to form the wrong way. If they can drive and stand then so can you.”

    (45 minutes later.)

    Coworker: “I can’t wait to ride my motorcycle later.”

    Me: “I thought you said your back hurt?”

    Coworker: “It does, but I don’t need that to ride a motorcycle.”

    Me: “Then how do you balance on it without using your back?”

    (He stopped talking to me after that.)

    Pranks For The Heart Attack

    | London, England, UK | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers

    (A girl from another department comes to my desk and hands me a slip of paper with an odd-looking phone number on it.)

    Coworker: “I don’t know how this man got put through to me, but he wanted to speak to you.”

    (After she leaves I dial the number, only to be pranked by one of those recorded abusive joke lines where the ‘person’ on the other end hurls insults and ‘won’t listen’ to anything you say. I figured out what it was soon enough, hung up and had a giggle. My coworker came around to my desk later that day:)

    Coworker: “Did you phone that man back? He said it was urgent!”

    Me: “No, it’s okay. I think I recognized the number and I think he actually wanted to talk to my boss, so I gave him the number to call instead.”

    (She turned pale, and then red, and I couldn’t stop laughing so I ended up confessing to her. Pranking the prankster!)


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