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    Category: Coworkers

    Good Clean Mommy Issues

    | PA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers, Family & Kids

    Sign In Break Room: *week #1* “YOUR MOMMY DOESN’T WORK HERE. CLEAN UP YOUR OWN TRASH AND DISHES PLEASE!”

    (The next week a sharpie-scribbled message has appeared on the sign in the break room:)

    Sign In Break Room: *week #2* “ACTUALLY, MY MOMMY DOES WORK HERE.”

    (Rumors circulate among the employees, and are confirmed, that one of the new ride attendants this summer is the teenage son of a longstanding member of the HR building’s cleaning staff.)

    New Sign In Break Room: *week #3* “EVEN IF YOUR MOMMY WORKS HERE, SHE’S NOT GETTING PAID ENOUGH TO CLEAN UP AFTER YOU. PLEASE DUMP YOUR OWN TRASH AND WASH YOUR DISHES. THANKS. :-)”

    Lettuce Start From The Beginning

    | Carlsbad, CA, USA | Coworkers, Food & Drink, Ignoring/Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (One of my managers at my National Pizza Chain shop has a few years’ experience and has worked in many of the shops in my area. She tells me a story of one of the new delivery drivers she had been put in charge of towards the beginning of her time as a manager years ago. My manager has just gotten off the phone with a customer who has ordered two pizzas and one of our salads so she tells the brand new driver, who has just recently been hired, to go make a salad while she works on the pizzas. Fast forward about 25 minutes after the delivery run has gone out to the customer. The manager picks up the phone again to get the customer who has just got the delivery.)

    Customer: “Hi, I had just placed an order with your store and ordered two pizzas and a salad.”

    Manager: “All right, was there something wrong with one of the pizzas?”

    Customer: “Oh, no. The pizzas were just fine. It’s just…” *stifling laughter* “I ordered a salad as well but all I got was an unopened bag of lettuce.”

    Manager: *shocked yet snickering a little* “Really? Just a bag of lettuce?! Um… All right, I’ll just go make you a fresh salad and have it sent right out to you as soon as possible.”

    (The customer and Manager had a good laugh about it before she hung up the phone to go make a proper salad. Turned out the new driver thought that all salads were just lettuce with nothing else so he figured giving a full bag would be enough for the customer. Surprisingly, he wasn’t fired just for that but was fired within a few months for continued stupid and silly mistakes.)

    Making A Clean Start

    | GA, USA | Coworkers, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (After being hired on and trained at one gas station, the company sends me to another location on the outskirts of town to be my normal store. Immediately upon arriving, I notice how gross the station is: bugs crawling all over everything, the floor in desperate need of mopping, and a cappuccino machine that has never been cleaned. I do my best to clean what I can, but with no one else cleaning, it’s a losing battle. However, I have a light at the end of the tunnel: there’s a big inspection in one week, with the owner of the place showing up personally. I work that night, and come in excitedly to hear how badly we failed.)

    Coworker: “Hello, [My Name].”

    Me: “Hi! How did inspection go?”

    Coworker: “Oh, we got an x—” *mumbles*

    Me: *hopes rising* “An ‘X’? What does that mean?”

    Coworker: “An EX-cellent. We only got three demerits! The owner was impressed.”

    (The worst part? The cappuccino machine wasn’t even one of the demerits.)

    Fifty Shades Of Dorian Grey

    | Cardiff, Wales, UK | Coworkers, Movies & TV

    (During a quiet moment, a coworker mentions that he is getting a Kindle and is getting some recommendations for books. We suggest checking out Amazon’s free book section where you can download classic books and novels for nothing. My suggestions eventually reached ‘The Picture of Dorian Gray’ by Oscar Wilde.)

    Coworker: “Wasn’t there a film adaptation recently?”

    Me: *checking on IMDb as I thought the only one was the 1945 one* “Yes, you’re right. There’s one from 2009 starring Colin Firth.”

    Second Coworker: *overhearing* “What? Back then they made a ’50 Shades’ film?”

    Me: “Dorian Gray. This is actual literature.”

    Callback Slack

    | Singapore | Coworkers, Ignoring/Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (I have a new colleague. She is nice, but a little dim. I come back from lunch.)

    Colleague: “Hey, [My Name], I have a message for you.”

    Me: “Yeah, okay, what is it?”

    Colleague: “Someone called and asked you to call him back.”

    Me: “Who?”

    Colleague: “Don’t know.”

    Me: “You didn’t get his name? What is the number?”

    Colleague: “He didn’t give his number.”

    Me: “Email?”

    Colleague: “No, no email either.”

    Me: “Company name?”

    Colleague: “I didn’t ask.”

    Me: “Then how am I supposed to call someone back when I have no idea who he is?”

    Colleague: “I don’t know. He said tell you to call him back, so I’m telling you to call him back.”


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