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    Category: Coworkers

    Flights Of Fancy

    | South Africa | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Geography, Tourists & Travel, Transportation

    (I am a pilot. On this particular overseas flight, a very common route, about 90% of the flight is over the ocean. An air hostess comes in with my breakfast.)

    Hostess: “Good morning. Ooh, it’s quite bright in here, isn’t it?”

    Me: “Yeah. Good weather today.”

    Hostess: *leaning over to look out of the cockpit window* “Oh, wow, we’re over the ocean!”

    (She puts down my breakfast and leaves the cockpit. My co-pilot and I look at each other.)

    Co-Pilot: “Did she just say what I think she said?”

    Me: “Yeah. For a moment I wasn’t sure I heard that right, either. If we weren’t over the ocean, I would be seriously concerned about where we were going to end up!”

    It’s Sickening The Lengths Some Will Go To

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Liars/Scammers

    (My coworker and I are on a break.)

    Me: “I am missing my cousin’s engagement party tonight.”

    Coworker: “Why didn’t you put in for the night off?”

    Me: “Mum forgot to give me the invite until it was too late.”

    Coworker:  ”You should have just called in sick. I do it all the time when I have a party to go to.”

    (Two days later, I am working with a different coworker.)

    Me:  ”I thought I was working with [Coworker] tonight?”

    Coworker #2: “Didn’t you hear?”

    Me:  ”About what?”

    Coworker #2: “She called in sick last night so she could go to [Boyfriend]’s work party.”

    Me: “Um, doesn’t [Boyfriend] work for our security department?”

    Coworker #2: “Yes, the party was here as well and with all the bosses in attendance, the idiot was fired on the spot and escorted off the premises.”

    Working Around The Problem

    | Australia | Bad Behavior, Coworkers

    (I have a coworker who is rude to everyone she works with, but she generally hides it from the manager and customers very well. We’ve all just learned to ignore her. She’s leaning over a table that has something I need on it, so I silently tug it out from under her.)

    Coworker: *slowly straightens up and glares at me* “What?! You couldn’t just say ‘EXCUSE ME’?”

    Me: “I honestly had no idea you knew what those words meant.”

    Coworker: “You’re such a b****!”

    Me: “You’ve never said ‘excuse me’ in all the time you’ve worked here. I refuse to give you a courtesy that you so blatantly deny everyone around you. I also refuse to sink to your level and yell at you to get the h*** out of my way. I ALSO refuse to get in trouble because you’re taking your sweet time doing a simple job whilst blocking my way. My only remaining option is to work around you as if you’re not there, and until you can learn to be more polite, that’s not going to change.”

    Coworker: “Just shut up!” *storms off*

    Regular: *appearing behind me* “Wow….”

    Me: *awkward smile* “I guess I’m having a bad day.”

    Regular: “I don’t envy you.”

    Badly Treating Your Labor Force

    | Grand Rapids, MI, USA | Bad Behavior, Coworkers, Health & Body

    (I’m working as a waitress and I need to get another enormous tub of ice cream. I’m very pregnant and can’t reach the high shelf it’s on in the walk in, so I bring another server back with me to help. The walk in is very deep with three doors on the way to the very back where the ice cream is kept. This section is the coldest. It’s kept at about 20 degrees. As we are leaving with the ice cream, the door won’t open.)

    Me: “These don’t lock on their own, do they?”

    Coworker: “No, they have padlocks. Otherwise they just push open.”

    (We both shove against the door as hard as we can, but it won’t budge. We start banging and yelling for help, but there are three closed doors between us and the rest of the staff. We are locked back there for at least twenty minutes before a cook comes back. He opens the door laughing.)

    Cook: “Haha, you should see the look on your faces! That was rich!”

    Me: *shivering* “You locked us in? On purpose?!”

    Cook: “Yeah! I didn’t mean to leave you in so long. We got busy. By the way, the manager is looking for you two. Your tables are pissed that you’ve been gone so long.”

    Coworker: “You idiot! She’s nine months pregnant!”

    (The cook walked away. We reported him to the manager, but the manager still blamed us for going back there in the first place. I proceeded to go into labor and have my baby four hours later. I would hate to think it was from the stress of being frozen and then written up!)

    A Hot Slice Of Karma

    | England, UK | Coworkers, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (There have been a few problems at work, so when management makes a final push over the long weekend to reach figures, it is a big deal and important for the company.)

    Production Manager: “Can anyone of you support over this weekend?”

    Coworker: “Doing what?”

    Production Manager: “We need help in case anything goes wrong.”

    Coworker: “How much are we getting out of it?”

    Production Manager: “You can have the time off later. Look, this is important. All of us are coming in for nothing, not even time off.”


    Coworker: *to me* “Can you believe that? I’m not working for free. It is their problem. I’m not spending my time here.”

    Me: “Well, it is important that we work together on this, and it would look good if we are here as a team.”

    Coworker: “Whatever. You come in then!”

    (I did, and the following work day…)

    Coworker: “How did you like wasting your day here?”

    Me: “It was pretty good, actually. They didn’t really need me so I sat listened to music and then they brought us pizza.”

    Coworker: *under his breath* “Ugh, if I knew that then I would have come in.”

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