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    Category: Coworkers

    I Like My Coworkers Better That Way…

    | Sandy Springs, GA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers, Musical Mayhem

    (I’m dropping off some papers to another coworker. As he goes through it, he notices one of the documents appears to be from another country.)

    Coworker #1: “What the…? What’s this from?”

    Me: “Hey, it’s from Turkey.”

    Coworker #1: “Yeah, you’re right. It’s from Istanbul.”

    Coworker #2: “You mean Constantinople?”

    Me: “No, it’s Istanbul, not Constantinople.”

    Coworker #2: “Been a long time gone Constantinople?”

    Coworker #1: “Yeah, it’s now a Turkish delight on a moonlit night.”

    Coworker #2: “Why did Constantinople get the works?”

    Me: *shrugs* “That’s nobody’s business but the Turks.” *walks off*

    (Sometimes, I love my coworkers.)

    Ponying Up To Their Demands

    | CA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers

    (One of my coworkers and I get along well and often share when customers make crazy demands. However we have taken to doing this in a rather unusual way:)

    Coworker: “Dang it.” *getting up to speak to a manager*

    Me: “What? Do they want a pink pony?”

    Coworker: “A pink pony that flies!”

    Me: “Did you offer them a purple pony with a horn?”

    Coworker: “Yes, but they only want a pink pony that flies. No horns.”

    Me: “Ouch.”

    (A short time later it’s my turn to get up.)

    Coworker: “Pink pony?”

    Me: “No, just a beige pony, but they want three of them. I just really don’t think they’ll get ’em.”

    A Lazy Excuse

    | CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Coworkers, Liars/Scammers

    (I am one of three people doing my job, and part of our duties is typing up monthly reports that we would sign off once completed. I have been out of the office with health issues for more than a month and on my first day back, my boss calls me into her office. It should also be noted that my two coworkers are best friends and notorious in the office for cutting corners on their work, while I usually just tried to do my work.)

    Boss: “[My Name], can you explain why you haven’t been pulling your weight around here all month and the few reports you did do were full of mistakes or incomplete?”

    Me: “I have no idea what you mean. I haven’t been here all month. I have done literally no work.”

    Boss: “Your name is on these reports and they are incomplete! How do you explain that?”

    Me: “Well, [Coworker #1] and [Coworker #2] said that they would handle everything since I’ve been out…”

    Boss: “They said that you said you had done these before you got sick.”

    (I realize that my coworkers are throwing me under the bus to cover up for their laziness and forging my name on the reports, but I have no proof to get them fired.)

    Me: “I honestly don’t know what happened, but I’ll do better this month.”

    (I quit shortly after that because I decided to go back to school, but found out from a friend in the office that my former coworkers had been caught just a few months later falsifying or not doing reports and didn’t have me to blame it on anymore, so they both got into a ton of trouble. Karma…)

    Very Bad Reception, Part 13

    | PA, USA | Bad Behavior, Coworkers, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (At our spa, due to the physical nature of the job and risk of injury if you overwork yourself, all therapists are asked to choose a maximum number of service hours they can work in a day, and a maximum number of hours they can work in a row. Receptionists then schedule clients around those limitations. My numbers are 3/6 [3 max hours in a row, 6 max in a day]. One receptionist is somewhat notorious for overbooking people and causing issues as it is unprofessional to call clients up and cancel appoints they’ve booked.)

    Receptionist #1: *as I walk in at the start of the day* “Hey, [My Name], come here for a second.” *shows me the schedule for the day* “Someone wanted to book an appointment tonight. If we could move [Client #1] up a half hour that would give you a break at 5:00 so we could fit her in. Now, he said he couldn’t do that, but I was wondering if I could just put her in anyway.”

    Me: *takes a second to process, then does a double take when I hear what she wants* “Wait, so you just want to put her in ‘here’ anyway?”

    Receptionist #1: “Yeah, can I do that?”

    Me: “No. That would give me five hours of clients pretty much in a row.”

    Receptionist #1: “Okay, just wanted to check with you first.”

    (Later that night, well after Receptionist #1 has left for the day:)

    Receptionist #2: *catches me as I come out of a session* “Uh… [My Name]? We have a problem. This client showed up saying that someone earlier told her we could squeeze her in with you tonight. She wasn’t on the schedule, but she’s sitting up front already and waiting for a massage.”

    Me: “What?! Oh. Oh, I’m gonna kill [Receptionist #1].”

    Receptionist #2: “She already left for the day.”

    Me: “I know that. She asked if she could put someone in there earlier and I told her no. She must have done it anyway.”

    Receptionist #2: “I hate to ask but we can’t really send her away. Can you take her.”

    Me: “Yeah, nothing for it now. Give me a second. I have to see my last client out and get a room ready.”

    (I rush around and manage to get people in and out relatively on time. Later, Receptionist #2 sees me rushing around again before my last client with some anger in my eyes and practically growling to myself.)

    Receptionist #2: “You doing okay, [My Name]?”

    Me: “Oh, I’m fine. I’m just gonna tear [Receptionist #1] into pieces.”

    Receptionist #2: “Yeah, this isn’t the first time she’s done something like this, right?”

    Me: “Rend flesh… splinter bones…”

    Receptionist #2: “Oh, geez…”

    Very Bad Reception, Part 12
    Very Bad Reception, Part 11
    Very Bad Reception, Part 10

    Thinking Outside The Boxes

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Coworkers, Geeks Rule

    (We are stocking a new store right in the centre of Sydney. As each truckload of stock comes in we have to unload it very quickly as a public laneway is blocked. We then have to stuff as much of it into a lift as possible.)

    Coworker: *slotting a box into a space* “To think my parents said all those hours I played Tetris were just a waste of time.”

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