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  • Will Never Claim Ignorance
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  • Category: Coworkers

    Got To Give Him Credit For Trying

    | Montreal, QC, Canada | At The Checkout, Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers, Employees

    (My coworker is serving a young and, I must say, beautiful female customer. He is not indifferent to her beauty. They chat a little while he is preparing her order.)

    Coworker: “That will be $12.45.”

    Customer: “Debby.”

    Coworker: “Oh! Hi, Debby! I’m [Name]. Nice to meet you!”

    Customer: “Hmm…” *slowly waving the card she is holding* “I was actually trying to pay with debit.”

    Coworker: *turning red* “Oh… Yes… Sure….Right away…”

    Shouldn’t Make Office Decisions Official

    | England, UK | Bosses & Owners, Coworkers, New Hires

    (I work in a small office whilst my manager works in a smaller adjoining office. He is a good guy but doesn’t think his decisions through.)

    Boss: “Can I have everyone’s attention please?!”

    (We gather around.)

    Boss: “[New Employee] will be joining the team soon, working closely with [Coworker #1] and [Coworker #2].”

    Coworker #1: “Great! So shall we clear the desk between us? It would make a lot of sense that she sit here.”

    Boss: “Well, I was thinking of putting her in my office.”

    Coworker #1: “You want her to work next to you despite her having nothing to do with your job?”

    Boss: “Well, yes.”

    Coworker #2: “And that she will be spending most of her time with us learning what we do.”

    Boss: “Yes.”

    Me: “So to get this clear, the young and attractive lady coming to work here won’t be sitting with the people that she will be learning from, but will be shut in a room with you?”

    Boss: “Yes.”

    Me: “And that makes sense to you?”

    Boss: “Er…”

    It’s Credit-Crunch Time

    | Minneapolis, MN, USA | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Money

    (I do most of the bill collecting calls at our company. I call people many times to warn them that if they don’t pay by a certain date we send them to collections. A call comes in from a person we already sent messages to, which goes to my coworker, who is not the brightest crayon.)

    Coworker: *puts the caller on hold* “So, this person says they told you they were sending a check and thought you would stop them from going to collections.”

    Me: “Yeah, I remember them. I told them I can’t stop them from being sent. If they had sent a check the day I talked to them it would have gotten here before the cut off so they obviously didn’t send it.”

    Coworker: *confused* “Well, now they want to know why they should pay it if we already sent them.”

    Me: “Are you just telling me that’s what they said, or are you asking me to explain to you why they should still pay the bill?”

    Coworker: “Well… I mean… Why would they pay it if we already sent them?”

    Me: “Do you seriously need me to explain to you how credit works and why it’s in a persons best interest to pay what they owe?”

    (My coworker sits there staring at her desk like she’s trying to remember something very important. I can see the hamster is dying from exhaustion on the wheel. Then she slowly says:)

    Coworker: “Sooo… if… they… don’t pay… that’s still… bad?”

    Me: “I’m going to take the call from here. I seriously hope you don’t have a credit card.”

    No Hopeful On Finding Opal

    | MO, USA | Coworkers, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (I am volunteering at a nursing home. It is time to hand out breakfast.)

    Coworker #1: “This tray goes to Opal.”

    Coworker #2: “Which one is Opal?”

    Coworker #1: “She has gray hair and glasses, and is sitting in a wheelchair.”

    Coworker #2: “Then we have about 15 Opals…”

    Required Training, Make No Mistake About It

    , | England, UK | Bad Behavior, Bosses & Owners, Coworkers, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (Where I work there has been a number of very stupid mistakes. Because there is no way of telling who did it, everyone has to get re-trained.)

    Me: “So to make absolutely clear, the GREEN end must be able to fit in the hole, the RED end should not be able to fit in the hole.”

    (Sighs come from the room.)

    Me: “And please do not ram it, screw it, or force it in. This is a calibrated instrument.”

    (More sighs come from the group, I see Worker #1 not even looking at me.)

    Worker #1: “This is stupid. I know how to do my job.”

    Me: “Look. I know this is obvious but some of you are just not getting it.”

    Worker #2: “Who?”

    Me: “I don’t know, and I don’t want to know. I know just how stupidly obvious this is. But training means that everyone knows how to do their job.”

    (I find out later that it was Worker #1, the person moaning and complaining the most, that was making the most mistakes. After declaring that he ‘didn’t see the point’ in doing his job correctly, he was demoted and later removed.)

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