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    Category: Coworkers

    Scrub Your Dirty Mind

    | MI, USA | Coworkers, Rude & Risque

    (Throughout high school, I work at a vet clinic doing basic cleaning tasks. Everyone wears scrubs, including myself. Shortly after I start working there, I bring my dog in for his vaccines. My 30-year-old male coworker approaches me in the waiting room, looking at my dog’s chart.)

    Coworker: “Hello, miss, you can bring your dog into room fou— Oh! [My Name]! I didn’t recognize you in clothes!”

    Other Clients: *look appalled*

    Coworker: “She works here… I’ve never seen her not in scrubs.”

    (Everyone looked very relieved after that explanation.)

    Needs A Chill Spill

    | Gadsden, AL, USA | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (My coworker is attempting to carry a tray loaded with drinks, shakes, and ice-cream.)

    Me: “Do you want help with that?”

    Coworker: “No, I got it.”

    Me: “Are you sure? There’s so much piled on that tray that something might fall.”

    Coworker: *annoyed* “No, I got it!”

    Me: “All right, if you’re sure.”

    Coworker #1: *takes one step back from counter and half the drinks fall and splatter on the floor*

    (After the drinks have been remade, another coworker just took half the tray out without giving the first coworker the chance to say anything.)

    Doesn’t Get The Warning Signs

    | USA | Coworkers, New Hires, Rude & Risque

    (I’m mute, and usually try to shop at places where an employee knows sign language. I’m also a lesbian, and though my girlfriend often goes out with me, this time she stays home. I go to a clothing store where I’m friends with one of the cashiers. I walk in, and a new hire is greeting people.)

    New Hire: “Welcome to [Store]! Can I help you find something?”

    Me: *shakes head*

    New Hire: “Oh, okay.”

    (I wander off to look at shirts. I notice him follow me, while trying to stay out of sight. He eventually comes over.)

    New Hire: “So, do you come here often?”

    Me: *signs that I’m mute*

    New Hire: “Geez, chicky, I don’t speak that. But I know you’re pretty d*** hot. Wanna go out?”

    (I quickly leave, and head straight to the checkout counter. My friend is there, and I quickly tell her what happened. She tells me to wait, and she leaves. A minute later, she comes back with the new hire.)

    Friend: “Is this the guy?”

    Me: *signs yes*

    New Hire: “What, is she giving me her number?”

    Friend: “Dude, don’t hit on her.”

    New Hire: “Why not? She’s a hot piece of a**!”

    Friend: “One, that’s harassment. Two, she’s taken. Three—”

    New Hire: “Well, I can easily steal her away? Who wouldn’t want me?”

    Friend: “A lesbian.”

    New Hire: “… She wasn’t that hot, anyway.”

    (He walked off, glaring at me. My friend got a manager, who wrote the new hire up for sexual harassment. He also gave me a gift card, and I taught him ‘thank you’ in sign language.)

    Human Contamination At An All-Time Low

    | Italy | Coworkers, Geeks Rule, Movies & TV

    (We’re inspecting a tube bundle and have ordered the tubes by rows and columns.)

    Coworker: “Okay, so the next tube is in row 23, column 19…” *suddenly screaming* “23-19! WE HAVE A 23-19! WE HAVE A 23-19!”

    Me: *leaps three feet in the air* “WHAT?”

    Coworker: “You never watched Monsters, Inc., did you?”

    Scrooge-Fest

    | MI, USA | Coworkers, Holidays

    (I’m a Scrooge about holidays, especially minor ones, but one coworker hasn’t got the hint.)

    Coworker: “So what are you doing for St. Patrick’s day?

    Me: “Nothing.”

    Coworker: “What? But you have to do something special! It’s such a fun holiday!”

    Me: “I’m neither Irish, Catholic, not an alcoholic, so I don’t think I have any reason to celebrate it.”

    Coworker: “You’re going to be just as much fun for Cinco de Mayo, aren’t you?”

    Me: “And Octoberfest.”


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