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    Category: Coworkers

    And After They Labored Over The Schedule

    | Japan | Coworkers, Crazy Requests, Family & Kids

    (I am an American living in small town in Japan working as an English language assistant teacher. In one of the schools I work at a Filipino family has moved into town within the past year with three kids in the school system. The mother is currently seven months pregnant. They are fluent in English, but sometimes require a bit of translation for Japanese. I’m often called in to help explain paperwork, school procedure, or to be a go between the parents and the Japanese teachers. They have one child with special needs and the school has organized to have them tour a special needs school nearby. The day they are scheduled to visit the pregnant mother calls the school. They hand me the phone.)

    Me: “Hello?”

    Mother: “Hello. This is [Mother]. I’m calling to say we won’t be able to make it to the meeting today. I’ve gone into early labor.”

    (Concerned as the baby is so early and trying to get her off the phone as quickly as I can so she can get back to it.)

    Me: “Oh! I’m sure it will be fine. I will explain everything to them. Just focus on yourself and the baby and I hope it all goes well!”

    Mother: “Thank you!” *hangs up*

    Administration: *in Japanese* “Well? What did she say?”

    Me: “It looks like she has gone into early labor and they will not be able to make it to the school tour today. I hope everything goes well. She’s not due for another two months.”

    Administration: “WHAT?! She’s not going to make the tour?”

    Me: *thinking maybe my translation was off, I try explaining again* “No, she’s in labor… The baby is coming… right now!”

    Administration: “They can’t do this! We made arrangements! There was a schedule!”

    Me: *one last ditch attempt* “She’s in the hospital. She can’t come. Her family is with her.”

    Administration: “They can’t do this!”

    Me: *walks away*

    Sadly Just A Flash Fire

    | WA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Bosses & Owners, Coworkers

    Manager: “We’re going to have a fire drill during the meeting today. Some of you will be acting as staff and some of you will portray customers.”

    Coworker: “Can I be someone’s unmarked service animal?”

    Me: “Can I be the fire?”

    Manager: “No, we only have 10 minutes for this…”

    Wrong Answer, Princess

    | UK | Coworkers, Geeks Rule

    (My colleague is looking for iced tea but can’t appear to find any.)

    Colleague: “Do we have any peach?”

    Me: *unable to find any* “Looks like it’s in another castle.”

    Colleague: “What?”

    Me: “…never mind.”

    On A Bad Roll

    | Minneapolis, MN, USA | Coworkers, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (I work in an office as one of three female admins. I have worked with Coworker #1 for two years and we make fun of each other a lot. Coworker #2 has been around for five months and this is one of the reasons we don’t care for her:)

    Coworker #1: *after walking out of the bathroom* “[My Name]! I can’t believe you didn’t replace the toilet paper on the roll when it was empty!”

    (I couldn’t figure out if she was messing with me or not because the tissue was low when I was last in there but not gone. I was about to respond when…)

    Coworker #2: “That was me. I found the extra toilet paper but I didn’t put the roll on because I was on my lunch break.”

    A Completely Different Kettle Of Fish

    | NY, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Pets & Animals

    (I work in my university’s dining hall. Though most employees are students, not all are. I am the cashier and am using the slow period to do some reading for an upper-level literature course. Coworker, who is not a student, walks by.)

    Coworker: “Hey, whatcha reading?”

    Me:The Hermaphrodite.”

    Coworker: “Oh, never heard of it.” *begins to walk away, then stops* “Is that about a fish?”


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