• A Very Therapeutic Solution - 818 votes
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    Category: Coworkers

    This Profession Is In Your Blood

    | Durban, South Africa | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers

    Me: “I just realised working in an immunology lab would be a good cover for a vampire because you can just ask for some human blood anytime.”

    Clinical Study Coordinator: “I’m going to watch you VERY carefully the next time you put in a sample request.”

    An Understanding Disability

    | Bristol, England, UK | Bosses & Owners, Coworkers, Crazy Requests, Health & Body

    (At my office there is a coworker who takes every opportunity to make out how he’s so much better than the rest of us and deserves ‘special’ privileges – which he doesn’t get because he’s also lazy. He’s notorious for complaining about anything another person has that he doesn’t. We are moving to a new office building where there is practically no car parking and all the staff have been informed. I’m disabled and have a permit that lets me use one of the disabled parking bays so I will be parking my car at the new place. He complains to the boss:)

    Coworker: “This is discrimination and I’m going to complain!”

    Manager: “About what?”

    Coworker: “About how my parking space is being taken away from me! I’ve got a parking spot here but not at the new building!”

    Manager: “Nobody has a parking space there. Heck, I don’t have a parking space there. We’ve all got to figure out how to get to work now. We’re all in the same boat.”

    Coworker: *pointing at me* “So why does SHE get a parking spot, then? This is discrimination!”

    Manager: “…She’s got disabled parking.”

    Coworker: “Then I demand it, too!”

    Manager: “Are you disabled?”

    Coworker: “No, but why does she get special treatment that I don’t get?”

    Manager: “…Because she’s disabled?”

    Coworker: “I DEMAND the same privileges!”

    Manager: “Then go get yourself in the same kind of car accident that smashed her up and we’ll talk.”

    Their Nerdiness Has Hit The Wall

    | USA | Bosses & Owners, Coworkers, Geeks Rule, Movies & TV

    (My boss and I are huge Game of Thrones Fans. A former manager decided what characters we all were and we harass each other as such on a daily basis.)

    Manager: *glares at me as I’m walking by* “…Tarth.”

    Me: *glares back and keeps walking* “…Baratheon.”

    (Later on he finds his way back into my department.)

    Manager: “Death to Brienne of Tarth!”

    Me: “At least I get things done. That’s more than they can say for House Baratheon.”

    Manager: “LISTEN. Stannis Baratheon gets things done, too!”

    Me: “Okay, name ONE thing that was all Stannis and not him hiding behind Melisandre. I’ll wait.”

    Manager: “…Okay, you have a point.”

    (A woman working the customer service desk walks up, who also happens to be a fan of the show.)

    Me and the Manager: “HOUSE TULLY!”

    (Another coworker who doesn’t watch Game of Thrones hears the exchange)

    Coworker: “You guys are nerds…”

    I’ll Do It With Me, Myself, And I

    | IN, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers, Language & Words

    (I’m working tech support with one of my friends. A slightly annoying, but not particularly unpleasant task comes up that needs done.)

    Coworker: “Would you like me to do it, or shall I?”

    Me: “Well, if you really want to do it that badly, go right ahead.”

    (She realized what she said after a couple seconds and we had a good laugh and she went to take care of it.)

    Planted The Seeds Of An Argument

    | IL, USA | Bad Behavior, Coworkers

    (I worked as a greenhouse rep, basically a vendor for a supercenter that helped out in Lawn and Garden. I helped the associates make all of the flowers look nice and organized for customers. One of the centers that I go to had an associate that would not cooperate with me at all. One day I go into work after being told by my management that the small pots of geraniums need to be tossed. I go to the nearest manager at the center.)

    Me: “So, as much as you won’t like hearing this, I’ve been told that the $1 and $3.65 geraniums need to be tossed, since they’re out of season and no one is buying them anymore.”

    Manager: “No, that’s fine! Do what you need to do, all right?”

    (I’m pretty taken aback, since all other managers have fought with me in the past about tossing plants. This is the first time I’ve seen this manager. So I start my work when enters the associate.)

    Associate: “What are you doing?!”

    Me: “Throwing away geraniums…”

    Associate: “Who said you could do that?”

    Me: “My supervisor and her boss. They said that geraniums are out of season and need to be gone to make room for new plants, so I’m tossing them.”

    Associate: “Why aren’t you saving the pots?! We need to keep account of the plants you throw away!”

    Me: “You mean those pots?” *points to piles of pots out in the open* “I know not to throw them away, it’s not my first day.”

    Associate: “Well, you’re gonna stop this now, or else I’m going to the manager!”

    Me: “No, I’m not stopping, so go ahead. I’ve already told a manager what I was doing.”

    Associate: “Uh huh, sure you have. You’re stopping right now and coming with me!”

    Me: “H*** no, I’m not. I’m staying right here.”

    (At this point she stomps out of Lawn and Garden to get a manager, different one than the one I talked to earlier. Skipping ahead a bit, he gets my supervisor on the phone and she tells both of them the exact thing. I’m skipping to after he leaves, telling me that they’ve reached an agreement to leave a few geraniums in 50% off. I’m fine with that and continue to work. The associate continues the day in this type of manner.)

    Associate: “You know I’ve heard from others in [two different towns that I’ve never been to]. I mentioned your name and they all said that you’re hard to work with.”

    Me: “Really? Cause the only other place I’ve worked at is [Place], and they generally get along with me and respect me since I go above and beyond for them.”

    Associate: “Well, they know of you! And they all had bad experiences. Even your company’s coworkers that have been here said that you love to throw things away.”

    Me: “That’s funny, since I’ve only worked with [Greenhouse] employees twice, and in both occasions I’ve never thrown anything away.”

    Associate: *scoffs* “You always have something to say, don’t you?! Are you always this disrespectful to your elders?!”

    Me: “Not typically; just when they act like a b**** like you.”

    (She threw a fit after that and went off to the other side of the center. Every time she saw me after she had something negative to say. Later on another supervisor from my company came by and tried talking to her about the plants. He told me after talking to her that he was about to punch her in the throat.)

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