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    Category: Coworkers

    The Number One Student

    | Tucson, AZ, USA | Coworkers, Movies & TV

    (I work for one of the local police departments. I’m also in training at the time. The trainers mark us on a scale of one to four, four being the highest. The graveyard shift has been slow all night. ‘Law and Order: SVU’ is playing on one of the televisions. Several coworkers are watching the episode, which I have already seen.)

    Me: “Hey, [Coworker], wanna know how it ends?”

    Coworker: “What? No! Don’t do that.”

    Me: “All right. All right.”

    (A few minutes pass.)

    Me: “Hey, [Coworker].”

    Coworker: “What?”

    Me: “Somebody gets caught.”

    Coworker: *to my trainer* “Give her all ones tonight!”

    Can’t Win The Name Game

    | Sacramento, CA, USA | Coworkers, Theme Of The Month

    (I work at a math tutoring room at a community college and three of my coworkers are all named Alex. I am a male in my early twenties. One day, I arrive and see a rare site of all three Alexes here at the same time standing outside the door to the tutoring center talking.)

    Me: “Hi, Alexes!”

    All Three Alexes: *various eye rolls and grumbles at my apparently unamusing joke*

    (I go to sign in and get my name tag on when another coworker arrives. She is a rather pretty woman in her mid-twenties and is completely unaware of my previous joke.)

    Coworker: “Hi, Alexes!”

    All Three Alexes: *smiling and laughing at her apparently very amusing joke*

    Me: “Wow, really?”

    Sick Of Your Sick Attitude

    | NJ, USA | Coworkers, Health & Body, Lazy/Unhelpful, Theme Of The Month

    (I have been with this company for roughly three years. In that time I have called out a total of two times. One of my current coworkers, Coworker #2, has called out at least once every other week since I started this department, a month after he started his job there, and always tries to cheat his breaks and punches. I wake up feeling unwell one morning and, brushing it off as early morning blues, go in anyway. Ten minutes into my shift my coworker calls out claiming to not feel well. Knowing I still have to be at my second job, I’m trying to talk myself through the day now having to juggle my job and my now absent coworker’s. An hour and a half before I’m scheduled to leave, I suddenly get light headed.)

    Me: *sitting down* “I need to stop for a moment… I’m going to take my break now.”

    Coworker #1: *offering me a piece of chocolate* “Here, you don’t eat enough… Probably why you’re dizzy.”

    Me: *feeling worse* “No, I don’t think I should eat anything.”

    (Suddenly, I feel really sick and barely make it to the trash can to throw up. Coworker #1 rushes out to the other two working the floor, one who acts as a manager at times.)

    Coworker #1: *walking back to me* “You work too hard, you know. That’s why you’re sick. Never taking breaks, working two jobs…”

    (Most management here is notorious for giving employees a hard time for saying you don’t feel well or calling out, generally acting as if you’re all lazy kids trying to get out of work, but I’m promptly sent home, with several employees and two managers fussing over me to be certain I’m all right. Two days later I’m back at work, no longer sick but exhausted from it.)

    Coworker #2: *upon hearing I was sent home early* “They sent you home?!”

    Me: *blinking a few times, not sure why he’s so agitated* “Yeah, I was pretty bad the other day…”

    Coworker #2: *scoffs* “Well, aren’t you lucky. They never even CARE when I come in sick.”

    (He stomps off past the floor to the bathrooms for a bathroom break, even though he’s been there about 20 minutes.)

    Coworker #3: *walking up to me* “Well, of course they don’t care when he comes in sick… That’s how he acts all the time. And he’s not YOU.”

    Me: “You mean a self-inflicted workaholic?”

    Coworker #3: “Yeah… that.”

    Coffeelibrium

    | Canberra, ACT, Australia | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers

    (The coworker I share a cubicle with gets up from his desk, coffee cup in hand, and walks out into the hall. After a moment, he walks back into the cubicle space.)

    Coworker: “I can’t remember why I got up.”

    Me: “Either you’ve had enough coffee, or not enough.”

    Flowering In Adversity

    | MN, USA | Coworkers, Movies & TV, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (I work in a kid’s play area at a retail store where parents can potentially drop their kids off to play for an hour while shopping. The kids mostly want to play in the ball pit, but we also have a movie area. I have a specific coworker that nobody likes working with because she believes she’s always right and acts like she’s in charge of everyone else when she isn’t. One problem I have with her is that she only plays the same two movies when she’s working and won’t let anyone else pick a movie. On this day, it’s insanely busy and two coworkers are watching the kids while my problem coworker checks kids in and I check them out. The movie ends, so I go to put ‘Mulan’ in. She rushes over, getting in my personal space. Keep in mind that my customer waiting to pick their kids up is about two feet away from me at most.)

    Coworker: “No, don’t put that one in.”

    (Something in me snaps and I decide to stop letting her boss me around.)

    Me: “I would like to put this movie in, [Coworker].”

    Coworker: “The kids don’t like that one.”

    Me: “The kids of all ages and genders love Mulan!”

    Coworker: “No, they don’t. I know you want to put it in because YOU like it, not the kids.”

    Me: *looking her dead in the eyes* “[Coworker], do we really need to do this?”

    (She got this look on her face and stormed off, leaving me alone with a crazy amount of customers waiting to check kids in and out. She got on the work phone and I ignored her, putting Mulan in and helping my next check out. Just as I’m starting to wonder where she is and why she isn’t doing check-ins again, five minutes later, she just walks out the door, leaving me to handle all the customers alone while my other two coworkers have to watch the kids. I find out several minutes later when I call the manager’s phone that she left two hours early ‘feeling sick.’ She literally left work two hours early because I wanted to put ‘Mulan’ in and she didn’t.)


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