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    Category: Coworkers

    Not Really Dressing The Issue

    | CT, USA | Coworkers, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (I am closing the store with only Coworker #1 this night because someone left early. Coworker #2, who left early, is notorious for not putting dresses away, and was last seen helping a large bridal party try on a number of bridesmaid’s dresses. Since it’s also prom season, it’s been a very busy day, and we’ve just finished putting away about 50 dresses each.)

    Me: “I can’t believe [Coworker #2] left early again. Why does she actually bother to come in?”

    Coworker: “And she always leaves her fitting rooms a mess!”

    Me: “I know! Wait, have we checked down her hallway yet?”

    Coworker: “No, but I saw her putting a few dresses back before she left, so I’m sure it’s fine.”

    Me: “I think I might actually cry if I have to put any more dresses away. I had six brides today, three of them at the same time, and I think they wanted to try on every dress in the store!”

    (Sure enough, when we checked Coworker #2’s fitting rooms there were three rooms FULL of at least 30 dresses each. We were there for another hour putting away dresses and then finally cleaning the store before we could go home. The kicker? When we confronted her about it on her next shift, she just laughed and said she didn’t care.)

    You Can’t Make This Stuff Up

    , | Baton Rouge, LA, USA | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, History

    (It is a quiet evening and all of us who are on shift are good friends, so we are chatting. Someone mentions having read something weird online, and I laugh.)

    Me: “Makes me think of that quote that goes something like, ’75% of what you read online is made up. Abraham Lincoln.’”

    Coworker #1: “…but, they didn’t have the Internet when Abraham Lincoln was around.”

    Me: “Exactly!”

    Coworker #1: “So how could he have said it?”

    (Everyone else had immediately understood the joke, and several try to get him to understand it.)

    Coworker #2: “That’s why it’s funny! Abraham Lincoln couldn’t/ have said it, so it’s pointing out that stuff online isn’t always believable.”

    Coworker #1: “But… why would it say Abraham Lincoln said it? He wasn’t around!”

    (We all finally give up and continue on with what we were doing. About an hour later, the penny finally drops.)

    Coworker #1: “Oh! It means the Internet isn’t reliable because Abraham Lincoln could never have known about the Internet so someone obviously made up that he said it!”

    (He proceeded to laugh at the joke. We all couldn’t help but join in.)

    They Were On A (Toilet) Roll

    | TN, USA | Bad Behavior, Bosses & Owners, Coworkers

    (On this particular Saturday I am working with the store manager in the stockroom, away from customers. One unhappy customer from the night before has come in the make sure that the girl who told her we were sold out of the buttons she wanted has been ‘properly disciplined.’ The head manager was not happy to deal with her. )

    Manager: “Did you hear about that lady with the buttons?”

    Me: “The one who wanted [Coworker] punished?”

    Manager: “I hope she gets diarrhea and runs out of toilet paper.”

    Me: “Ew!”

    Manager: *cackling * “And hemorrhoids! That’ll show her.”

    (Later, over the radio:)

    Coworker: “There’s a lady on line two who wants to talk to a manager. She sounds upset.”

    Manager: *looks over* “You go be nice to her. I won’t be.”

    Bad Jokes Are No Laughing Matter

    | Albany, CA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers

    (I am a very short girl. I am breaking down boxes in the back room of the theatre, with a box cutter. I hear one of my coworkers talking to my manager behind the concessions stand and one of them makes a terrible joke.)

    Me: *stepping out from the back* “Who just made that joke?”

    Coworker: “It was me, I conf—” *he suddenly sees the box cutter* “I mean it was [Manager]! He just went upstairs. Go get him!”

    (I cackled and went into the back room to finish breaking down boxes.)

    Not My Problem Coworkers

    | MI, USA | Bad Behavior, Bosses & Owners, Coworkers, Health & Body, Ignoring/Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (The morning after a major snowstorm, most of our first shift staff have difficulty getting in to work. I’m an hour late, and only the second one in. Knowing this might happen, our manager made sure to issue instructions to the staff that all workers are expected to work late if their replacement is delayed by the snow. When I arrive, the third shift staff, who are notorious for shirking anything they see as extra work, are seated at the nurses’ station, waiting to hand off the keys to the med carts. I can see that more than a dozen call lights are going off, meaning that residents are likely lying in pools of their own waste and waiting to be changed.)

    Third Shifter #1: “About d*** time you got here. We’ve been waiting to give you the keys so we can clock out.”

    Me: “You’re still on the clock? Have you been answering call lights?”

    Third Shifter #2: “H***, no. After 6 am, they’re not our problem.”

    Me: “So you’ve just left them lying there for the last hour?”

    Third Shifter #1: “Yes. Ain’t my problem. You just count the narcotics and sign the book so we can clock out.”

    Me: “Can you stay on the clock for a while longer and help me until more of the first shift staff arrives?”

    Third Shifter #2: “Ain’t gonna happen. We stayed late enough already, and we’re going home.”

    (I count the narcotics, sign the logbook, and accept the keys to the med carts. Knowing that I’m in for a rough day, I start answering call lights. Thankfully, I get a call from our manager, saying that she’s using her truck to pick up stranded coworkers, so help is on the way. As I exit a resident’s room carrying a bag of soiled linens and over-soaked adult diapers, I see the third shift staff sitting in the dining room, drinking coffee and laughing.)

    Me: “Hey, guys, did you decide to stay and help? Room 34 has been waiting the longest, and room—”

    Third Shifter #1: “I told you no. We’re off the clock now. But the buses ain’t runnin’ because of the snow, so we’re stuck here until they plow.”

    Me: “So you’re going to sit there and listen to the bed alarms going off?”

    Third Shifter #2: “F*** you.”

    (A grueling half-hour later, the manager arrives with three other caregivers. The manager, usually a well-dressed professional, is wearing scrubs and sneakers, and proceeds to claim responsibility for changing and dressing an entire hall of residents.)

    Manager: “[My Name], why are [Third Shifters #1 and #2] sitting there drinking coffee?”

    (I explain the situation with as much patience as I can muster, but the frustration in my voice when I relay the ‘ain’t my problem’ moment is palpable.)

    Manager: “[Third Shifter #1 and #2]! if you’re not working, you’re not allowed to hang out here. Clock in or walk out the door.”

    Third Shifter #1: “But the buses ain’t runnin’, and there’s two feet of snow. Where are we supposed to go?”

    Manager: “Ain’t my problem.”


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