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    Category: Coworkers

    This Job Is Just Impossible

    | Minneapolis, MN, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers, Movies & TV, Musical Mayhem

    (At this store we wear headsets to communicate with each other since it is a big store. This conversation takes place over the headsets as Coworker #1 is following around a suspected shoplifter to make sure they don’t take anything.)

    Coworker #1: “I feel like I’m in Mission Impossible, being all sneaky like this.”

    Coworker #2: *starts humming ‘Mission Impossible’ theme song*

    Coworker #3: “Now you just need to do a duck and roll behind a rack.”

    Manager: “I will give someone $20 if they do a duck and roll on the sales floor right now.”

    (I was back in the fitting rooms getting some very strange looks from customers as I burst out laughing for no apparent reason.)

    A New Hire Level Of Respect

    , | Edmonton, AB, Canada | Coworkers, New Hires

    (At my work, the new hires all get a large blue ribbon to wear with their nametags that says ‘NEW HIRE’ on it in large letters. Most people try to get rid of it as soon as possible, usually within two weeks. So far I’ve been there about two months.)

    Coworker: *looking at my ribbon* “When are you going to take that thing off?”

    Me: “When someone in management tells me to.”

    Coworker: *looking and sounding very confused* “Why?”

    Me: “Because everyone’s so much nicer to me when they think I’ve only had a handful of shifts. I keep getting complimented on how well I’m doing and how quick I am. Plus, I haven’t had a single rude or impatient customer yet.”

    Coworker: “… now you’re making me want one.”

    Requires A Walking Carpet

    | WV, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m working in the stockroom when a delivery truck arrives. Management needs to be notified, and since I don’t have a walkie-talkie, I call out to my coworkers. The doughnut vendor overhears.)

    Me: “Hey, does anybody have a walkie? The truck’s here.”

    Doughnut Vendor: “Why do you need a Wookie?”

    (Makes Wookie noises at me.)

    Me: “A Jawa or an Ewok would work, too.”

    Gremlins And Tribble-ations

    | SC, USA | Coworkers, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

    (I take a brief stop in the break room to make myself some tea, and notice a ziploc bag with a hideously moldy roll in it, in the middle of the table. I walk to the front of the office and calmly face my coworkers.)

    Me: “Anyone here seen ‘The Trouble with Tribbles’?”

    Coworker: “Sure! It’s my favorite episode!”

    Me: “Well, there’s a Tribble in a ziploc bag in the break room.”

    Coworker: “No! Don’t feed it!”

    Coworker #2: “Don’t get it wet either, just in case.”

    Breaking Bread With The Night-Shift

    , | Germany | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Coworkers, Food & Drink

    (I work in the kitchen of a café, which is affiliated with the nightclub next door, and there are various doors and hallways that connect cafe, kitchen, and club. The bosses of the café and club are married. As you can imagine, despite them officially being separate businesses, pretty much everything is connected in some way. When I start my morning shift at 6 am, most of the bartenders are still there or getting ready to leave.)

    Bartenders: *coming into the kitchen* “Oh, man, it’s so unfair. We’ve been working all night and now you come in here and bake croissants and make everything smell delicious.”

    Me: “Well, I just finished this batch. You can have them if you want. There’s also cheese and ham if you want to grill it.”

    Bartenders: “Really?! We were just joking…”

    (The croissants are ridiculously cheap and the café staff eats for free anyway, so I figure my boss won’t mind.)

    Me: “Yeah, go ahead. I’ll just make some new ones for the cafe.”

    Bartenders: “This is the best!” *everyone’s happily assembling cheese croissants* “You know, the girl who worked here before would scream at us if we even tried to walk through the kitchen, let alone ask for any food! She said we were all just drunken a**holes trying to steal from [Café Boss].”

    Me: “Well, I hope I won’t get in trouble with [Café Boss]. If so I’ll just pay for the croissants this once.”

    Bartenders: “Nah, if she gets angry, just send her to us and we’ll explain. [Nightclub Boss] has been thinking of getting us some breakfast now and then, anyway.”

    (My boss didn’t mind when I asked her about it, as long as I wrote down what the people from the club ate, for accounting. Now most of the bartenders jokingly call me ‘kitchen mama‘ for feeding them in the morning, and I’ve never had to pay for a drink at the club! Goes to show what being nice can do.)


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