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    Category: Coworkers

    Badly Treating Your Labor Force

    | Grand Rapids, MI, USA | Bad Behavior, Coworkers, Health & Body

    (I’m working as a waitress and I need to get another enormous tub of ice cream. I’m very pregnant and can’t reach the high shelf it’s on in the walk in, so I bring another server back with me to help. The walk in is very deep with three doors on the way to the very back where the ice cream is kept. This section is the coldest. It’s kept at about 20 degrees. As we are leaving with the ice cream, the door won’t open.)

    Me: “These don’t lock on their own, do they?”

    Coworker: “No, they have padlocks. Otherwise they just push open.”

    (We both shove against the door as hard as we can, but it won’t budge. We start banging and yelling for help, but there are three closed doors between us and the rest of the staff. We are locked back there for at least twenty minutes before a cook comes back. He opens the door laughing.)

    Cook: “Haha, you should see the look on your faces! That was rich!”

    Me: *shivering* “You locked us in? On purpose?!”

    Cook: “Yeah! I didn’t mean to leave you in so long. We got busy. By the way, the manager is looking for you two. Your tables are pissed that you’ve been gone so long.”

    Coworker: “You idiot! She’s nine months pregnant!”

    (The cook walked away. We reported him to the manager, but the manager still blamed us for going back there in the first place. I proceeded to go into labor and have my baby four hours later. I would hate to think it was from the stress of being frozen and then written up!)

    A Hot Slice Of Karma

    | England, UK | Coworkers, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (There have been a few problems at work, so when management makes a final push over the long weekend to reach figures, it is a big deal and important for the company.)

    Production Manager: “Can anyone of you support over this weekend?”

    Coworker: “Doing what?”

    Production Manager: “We need help in case anything goes wrong.”

    Coworker: “How much are we getting out of it?”

    Production Manager: “You can have the time off later. Look, this is important. All of us are coming in for nothing, not even time off.”


    Coworker: *to me* “Can you believe that? I’m not working for free. It is their problem. I’m not spending my time here.”

    Me: “Well, it is important that we work together on this, and it would look good if we are here as a team.”

    Coworker: “Whatever. You come in then!”

    (I did, and the following work day…)

    Coworker: “How did you like wasting your day here?”

    Me: “It was pretty good, actually. They didn’t really need me so I sat listened to music and then they brought us pizza.”

    Coworker: *under his breath* “Ugh, if I knew that then I would have come in.”

    They’re Not On The Same Page

    | Dusseldorf, Germany | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I’m working in the local IT department of an international law firm.)

    Me: “IT support. How may I help you?”

    Lawyer: “I can’t print.”

    (I see the lawyer’s name and room number on my display.)

    Me: “Hello, Mr. [Lawyer]. What do you mean, you can’t print? I don’t have reports of printer malfunctions, yet. Could you please describe your problem further? Do you get an error message?”

    Lawyer: “I can’t print! There is no error message; the d*** thing doesn’t react at all!”

    Me: “On which printer are you trying to print?”

    Lawyer: “Which printer? F****** all of them! I even installed a printer on a different floor!”

    (I connect remotely to his PC and see that he has a Word document open and every printer in the selection box gives the status ‘ready’. Additionally I check every printer on his floor via our Web Interface for error messages. No error comes up.)

    Lawyer: “I need the last page printed out ASAP. Every time I’m in a hurry these d*** PCs aren’t working. Why can’t you and your colleagues get these f****** things to work like they should?”

    Me: “Uhm… you need the last page printed? That would be page three of that document?”

    Lawyer: “No, godd*** it! Are you blind? Here, in the line ‘print page xx’ I typed in page four! I need page four! I have a meeting with a client in five minutes and I need this page for my notes! F***!”

    Me: “Is this the correct document? Because I see that this document only has three pages.”

    (I change the four into a three and click on ‘print,’ and sure enough the printer in his office starts printing.)

    Me: “The printer seems to be working fine. Is this the page you need?”

    Lawyer: “Uhm… this is the page… Yes… Well… I can handle it from here. Bye.” *click*

    Drawing Blood And Laughter

    | MN, USA | Coworkers, Health & Body, Rude & Risque

    (I am working as a phlebotomist for a well known blood bank. We are having a very busy day at a local church. My donor is a very nice man in his 80s and at the bed next to me is a brand new employee working with a notoriously oblivious on-the-job trainer.)

    Trainer: “Yeah, we work with 16 gauge needles here. Personally I find them easy to work with but some people prefer working with bigger needles and some prefer working with smaller ones. All depends what feels better in your hands.”

    Me: *turns to my donor* “Sir, please forgive me for this but: THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!”

    Donor: “Honey, if you hadn’t said it I would have.”

    Your Job Here Is Done For

    | CA, USA | Coworkers, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (I’m a receptionist in a county office, and I deal with a lot of calls from providers in our network. There are specific coworkers that are the go-to person of the day. Any problem calls go to them. On this particular day Coworker #1 is the go-to person. I get a call that would normally go to Coworker #2.)

    Me: “[Coworker #1], I got a call regarding this client and since [Coworker #2] isn’t here, you get it.”

    Coworker #1: “What’s the problem?”

    Me: “Treatment and coverage issues.”

    Coworker #1: “I don’t think I want that.”

    Me: “What? But you’re the go-to guy today, and this is actually your specialty. I thought you knew how to do this?”

    Coworker #1: *smiling* “I try to be as uninformed and as useless as possible.”

    Me: *speechless at first* “And you have succeeded beyond my wildest expectations.”

    Coworker #1: *laughing* “Then my job is done here.”

    Me: *ignoring his side stepping out of this* “No, it’s not. I’ll put this in your pending and when [Coworker #2] returns tomorrow, you can wrestle with it in her office.”

    Coworker #1: “You’re no fun.”

    Me: “Then my job here is done.”

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