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    Category: Coworkers

    Managed To Find The Perfect Fix

    | USA | Coworkers, Technology

    (I am a lab scientist. Our hospital stocks small hand-held analyzers that can run some tests. Laws say that to calibrate or do anything with altering the analyzer’s technical or clinical functions, a certified lab scientist has to do it. I am running quality control and making adjustments to the hand-held analyzers when it gives me an error that I’ve never seen before. I walk to where our phlebotomists hang out when they aren’t doing anything, to ask if any of them have seen the error before. As I walk, I continue messing with the analyzer, trying to get it to work.)

    Me: “Hey, guys have any of you… Nevermind. I fixed it.”

    Phlebotomist #1: “What?”

    Me: “Oh, it was just giving me an error I’d never seen before. But I fixed it.”

    Phlebotomist #2: “If there’s an interface error, they reset automatically and fix themselves. You didn’t do anything.”

    Me: *Shush. I am certified. And I pressed a button. I fixed it!”

    The Customer Service Is Baloney

    , | Australia | Coworkers, Food & Drink

    (Sometimes we get customers who don’t realise that we have so many variations of different meats. This happens on a day when my coworker is tired and on her last nerve, and is therefore being rather unhelpful.)

    Customer: “I’d like some of that one, please.”

    Coworker: “Which one?”

    Customer: “The salami.”

    Coworker: “Which one?”

    Customer: “The mild.”

    Coworker: “Which one?”

    Customer: *irked* “The Hungarian.”

    Coworker: “Which one?”

    Customer: “Gah! The one that isn’t free range!”

    Coworker: *smiles brightly* “Coming right up, sir!”

    (The customer looked about ready to smash his head onto the counter. Occasionally when I order something from this coworker I’ll repeat the above conversation just for a laugh. For some reason she never finds it funny.)

    Guest Employee Of The Month

    | England, UK | Awesome Customers, Coworkers, Technology

    (My place of work hires a new assistant manager. Only recently, my manager has asked him to take over doing the employee rotas, as part of his job description. For ease, these are emailed to us so we know what we’re working ASAP.)

    Coworker: “[My Name], have you seen this?”

    Me: “Seen what?”

    (My coworker points to an email he’s printed out for us. I go to read.)

    Email: “Hi, [Workplace]. Sorry to bother you, but as I live elsewhere, I’m afraid I won’t be able to work your hotel rota over these two weeks. However, I am staying with you guys shortly!”

    Me: “Huh?”

    Coworker: “Look at the name.”

    (I do, only to discover that the email detailing our rotas for the next two weeks was sent not to me, but to a prospective guest with a similar name. Seriously!)



    The Fellowship Of The Night Shift

    | MI, USA | Bosses & Owners, Coworkers, Geeks Rule, Movies & TV, Musical Mayhem

    (Somehow on a late night shift all the nerds are working together and we have no customers. I’ve just shown a popular ‘Lord Of The Rings’ fan-vid to my coworkers on my break. A coworker walks past my department pushing the empty box cart.)

    Coworker #1: “Hop on and tell me what you see.”

    Me: *immediately jumps on cart and yells* “THEY’RE TAKING THE HOBBITS TO ISENGARD! ISENGARD!”

    Coworker #2: *without missing a beat* “What did you say?”


    (The manager rushes out of the office.)


    (We ran around the entire store doing that until we closed.)

    Thinking Outside The Box Of Common Sense

    | Dublin, Ireland | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers, Lazy/Unhelpful

    Colleague: “[My Name], did those archive boxes you ordered arrive?”

    Me: “Yep, they’re on the fourth floor just outside the lifts.”

    (Two minutes later, she’s back with a bundle of flat-packed boxes.)

    Colleague: “When I’m done with these do I put the ones I don’t need in the photocopying room?”

    Me: “No, there’s no space in there for them. Just drop them back upstairs with the rest. The guys up there will need them.”

    Colleague: “But I only need two boxes, and I don’t want to have to bring the rest back upstairs!”

    Me: “If you only need two boxes, why did you grab ten of them?”

    Colleague: *angrily* “Well, I don’t know!”

    Me: “Neither do I, so put them back where you found them and don’t snap at me because you can’t use your head.”

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