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  • May's Theme Of The Month: Movie Mayhem!

    Category: Coworkers

    Not The Boss Of Knowledge

    | TX, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers

    (I share an office with three others, including my boss. A coworker comes in and looks disappointed at seeing my boss’s empty chair.)

    Me: “Looking for [Boss]?”

    (My coworker nods and looks at me expectantly.)

    Me: *after a pause* “…I don’t know why I asked that. I have no further information about his location.”

    (My coworker and officemates burst out laughing.)

    Me: “I didn’t think that through, did I?”

    Her Brain Is Flat

    | Humboldt, IA, USA | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (Being early for my lunch shift at a ’50s diner, I have a seat with our retired cook who still does some grocery shopping for us. She’s a bit of a grouch, but I enjoy her company.)

    Coworker: *to cook*  “Would you like some more to drink?”

    Cook: “No, thanks, didn’t taste quite right today.”

    Me: *thinking she had her diet soda* “Is our machine losing carbonation again?”

    Cook: “No, I had a [cold tea drink] and it tasted like it wasn’t shook up or something.”

    (During this time my coworker, who likes to sound smart but is really a ditz, has taken a glass and tried some of the cold tea drink.)

    Coworker: “I don’t think it’s hooked up right. There’s no carbonation.”

    Me: “That’s fine. There shouldn’t be.”

    Coworker: “But it’s from a fountain. It should be carbonated.”

    Cook: “It’s tea. It shouldn’t be carbonated.”

    Coworker: “But it’s flat…”

    (At this point the phone rings and she leaves to take an order.)

    Me: “Can I kill her? She’s already brain dead.”

    Cook: “I’ll hide the body.”

    The Right Left

    , | Chandler, AZ, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers

    (This occurs over the inter-office chat with my supervisor:)

    Supervisor: “Hey, [My Name], when you’re done with your call, or if you’re done, please AUX out to meeting and see me in the office next to [Manager]’s.”

    Me: “Will do.”

    Supervisor: “Thanks.”

    Me: “Left or right of office?”

    Supervisor: “Left.”

    Me: “Military left or blonde left?”

    Supervisor: “Technically right if you’re walking towards his office, lol.”

    Me: “So, blonde left, then.”

    Supervisor: “Basically.”

    Made Contact With The X-Men

    | Las Vegas, NV, USA | Awesome Workers, Coworkers, Geeks Rule

    (My coworker has run out of his regular contacts and my boss has allowed him to wear his Halloween contacts at work today, which means he has red irises. None of the customers comment on it until one woman’s eight-year-old son notices them.)

    Boy: “What’s wrong with your eyes?”

    Coworker: *without missing a beat, dead serious* “Did you ever see the movie X-Men?”

    Boy: *gasps* “NO. WAY!”

    (The mom and I couldn’t stop laughing while I rang them up.)

    Requires A Wii Bit Of An Explanation

    | OH, USA | Coworkers, Language & Words, Rude & Risque, Technology

    (I’m about to go get dinner with a coworker. Since I’ll be going home after, I have my backpack with me. I have a Wii packed in it, after forgetting it at a friend’s house. As we’re walking out, I realize I forgot something.)

    Me: “Oh, s***! [Coworker], hold my Wii!” *runs off*

    Coworker: “Hold your WHAT?!”

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