(Note: My manager always brings her two young kids into work, where they continually get under the chefs’ feet and generally be the biggest nuisances.)

Manager’s Kid: “Hey you! Give me an ice cream!”

(I glance out to where the manager is chain-smoking, as usual, but she doesn’t notice me. Knowing he’ll throw a tantrum anyway if I don’t, I make him a small ice cream. A few minutes later…)

Manager: *to me* “Did you give [kid] ice cream?! You stupid girl, what did you do that for? Now you’ve ruined his dinner! And you can’t just give out free ice cream like that. Everything has to be accounted for. Don’t EVER do that again!”

(The next day…)

Manager’s Kid: “I want ice cream!”

Me: “Sorry dude; not before your dinner.”

(A few minutes later…)

Manager: “DID YOU SAY ‘NO’ TO MY SON?!”

Related:
We All Get Screamed At For Ice Cream

(I work third shift as help desk at a hospital. Power has just completely went out, and we are calling everyone apologizing and getting them on “down time” procedures.)

Me: “Hi this is [name] from IS Help Desk.”

Customer: “My computer stopped working. It won’t connect to anything.”

Me: “I understand. We just lost power, ma’am. I’m very sorry.”

Customer: “I need more warning then that. My job is important. I need to give patients medications!”

Me: “Again, I am sorry.”

Customer: “You need to give me more warning!”

Me: “Ma’am—”

Customer: “I can’t do my job. You gave me no warning.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m currently sitting in a dark room with no power, using my personal phone to light up the work phone enough to make calls. Believe me, if I had any warning to give I would have. Now please, switch to down time procedures because I still have half the hospital to inform of the power outage.”

Customer: “Oh, you lost power. Why didn’t you say that?”

(This happens right after my aunt had died unexpectedly at age 62. I have taken the week off to be with my family.)

Manager: “Hey, [my name], can you cover my shift tomorrow night?”

Me: “No, I’m off the rest of the week. Remember?”

Manager: “Yeah, I know, but I really need you to come in tomorrow night and cover the store.”

Me: “I can’t. Tomorrow is my aunt’s funeral.”

Manager: “Yeah, I know, but that’s in the morning, isn’t it?”

Me: “Yes, but I really don’t think I’ll be in any shape to work after my aunt’s funeral.”

Manager: “Well look, I have a date tomorrow night with this really hot guy, but I’m supposed to be here to cover the store and process shipment and no one else can cover, so I really need you to come in from 4 until close. I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t an emergency ’cause no one else can come in!”

Me: “Wait, you want me to come in, process the entire shipment, and cover the store by myself after my aunt’s funeral so you can go on a date?!”

Manager: “Yeah, what’s the big deal? They’ll have buried her by then anyway, so it’s not like you’ll miss anything.”

Me: “Seriously?! Okay, tell you what: I’ll come in tomorrow, but only to turn in my keys and name tag. Good luck on your date.”

(I ended up getting a work study job through school that paid much better and even helped me earned credit towards my major. My manager was fired a few months after I quit for drinking in the store and sexually harassing an employee.)

(I am working as a security guard at a children’s facility. There is a lady waiting for an appointment in the lobby, but she goes out for a cigarette. While she’s outside, I get a call from the receptionist who is sitting behind an inch of bullet proof glass.)

Receptionist: “Hey, are you going to pick that up?”

Me: “Pick what up?”

Receptionist: “That stuff on the couch!”

(I checked out the couch; there are two bottles of nail polish and some cotton balls.)

Me: “It’s just some nail polish and cotton balls; nothing to worry about.”

Receptionist: “You should pick it up.”

(I grab the items and hold it for the lady who returns not a minute later. The next day I get a call from my manager…)

Manager: “Hey, you need to pay attention and notice dangerous weapons at your site.”

Me: “What weapons would those be?”

Manager: “The nail polish… you didn’t notice it. It is a solvent and it can be thrown into someone’s eyes!”

(Note: this lobby has several chairs, books, magazine racks, a fountain with rocks and glass vials, all not tied down.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but is this a joke?”

Manager: “Not at all. I have to write you up for incompetence.”

Me: *speechless*

(It is my first day off in about a week and I am spending it with my best friend, supporting her at her grandmother’s funeral. At 7 am, I get a call from one of the managers.)

Manager: “Hey, can you come into work today? [Coworker] called in.”

Me: “Sorry, I can’t. I’m going to a funeral today.”

Manager: “Oh. What time?”

Me: “Ten. I’m not sure how long it’s going to be, but I really don’t think I’ll be able to come in.”

Manager: “Well… I mean… Could you come in from ten to two and then go to the funeral?”

Me: “…No. The service starts at ten. I can’t really miss this.”

Manager: “What about ten-thirty to two?”

Me: “I really can’t make it.”

Manager: “How about you think about it and call us back at ten?”

Me: “I’m not going to call you back. I’m not going to think about this. I really can’t come into work today.”

Manager: “Well, can you have them reschedule it?”

Me: “The funeral?”

Manager: “Yeah.”

Me: “No. I’m going back to sleep.”

(I went back to sleep and proceeded to ignore the next four calls from my work. The next day, my direct manager comes to me…)

Direct Manager: “So, why couldn’t you make it in yesterday?”

(Thankfully, when I explained the situation, she realized how silly the other manager was, laughed and walked away.)