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  • Saying It Over And Ovarian
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  • Category: Crazy Requests

    Conceal, Don’t Feel, Don’t Let It Show

    | England, UK | Bosses & Owners, Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month

    (My boss is a little inconsistent. He has a few good workers and a number of slackers, and he doesn’t have the guts to do anything, so he just gives more work to those who are already busy.)

    Boss: “[My Name], can you come in here a moment?”

    Me: “Sure, but I’m a bit busy.”

    Boss: “Yeah, about that. I have had complaints about how busy you are and how stressed you are.”

    Me: “Well, yes. You have given me a load of work to do.”

    Boss: “Yeah, well, you need to stop mentioning it.”

    Me: “What? I have been so busy I haven’t said more than two words to anyone.”

    Boss: “Well, people can see you’re stressed and, you need to not let that show.”

    (I am so shocked that I left and sat down.)

    Coworker: “Are you okay?”

    Me: “I just got told off for being too busy. He said people were complaining that I was too stressed.”

    Coworker: “What?! I told him that he was giving you too much work, and that it wasn’t fair when some people are on Facebook all day. He never listens!”

    Quality Over Unknown Quantity

    | OH, USA | Bosses & Owners, Crazy Requests

    (I’m responsible for scheduling staff members for an event. I send my boss a list of possible invitees. After making a few changes, she approves the list. Two weeks later…)

    Boss: “Why did you invite [Person]?”

    Me: “She was on the list of people you asked me to invite.”

    Boss: “Yes, but we don’t have an open position for [Person]. Why did you take it upon yourself to invite her?”

    Me: “I didn’t. I emailed the people on the list you specifically sent me.”

    Boss: “But if you had referred to the document I sent you, you’d know I didn’t have a position for her.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I never received that document. I only received the list of people you specifically asked me to invite.”

    Boss: “It’s on the shared drive. You should have consulted it first.”

    Me: “So a document I didn’t even know about takes precedence over your very specific instructions?”

    Boss: “Yes. Why are you so stupid?”

    Not Married To The Idea Of This Photographer

    | England, UK | Crazy Requests, Employees, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (We are shopping for a wedding photographer but not having much luck finding one we could afford, when…)

    Me: “Hi, I see your offer. Can you tell me about it?”

    Photographer: *explains detail*

    Me: “Not bad. We are getting wed at [Location #1] and the reception is at [Location #2].”

    Photographer: “Oh, is it set in stone?”

    Me: “Well, yes. We like them and they mean a lot to us.”

    Photographer: *makes a face* “Well, it’s not very photogenic…”

    Me: “I’m not changing it.”

    Photographer: “Well, I guess we could drive to [Park] and do it there.”

    Me: “Drive 60 people clear across town in a rainy month? No.”

    Photographer: “Well, I don’t really like shooting in churches.”

    (Safe to say we found another wedding photographer cheaper, and one who didn’t mind working in a church!)

    Let Up Everybody And His Brother

    | New Haven. CT, USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal, Employees, Family & Kids, Health & Body

    (My brother goes to pick up my 14-year-old daughter from having her operation. She’d gone in for minor surgery.)

    Brother: “Hi, I’m—”

    Nurse #1: “Room [number], Mr. [Brother].”

    (My brother goes upstairs and goes to the room. A doctor and another nurse are already there. My daughter is currently very weak.)

    Doctor: *seeing my brother enter* “Yes?”

    Brother: “Hi, I’m here to pick up [Daughter]. I’m her uncle.”

    Doctor: “Well… [Nurse #2], could you just call down to the lobby?” *to my brother* “We didn’t get a call to say you were coming up to visit her.”

    Brother: “I’m picking her up.”

    Doctor: “She’s leaving at 7:15 pm.”

    (It’s 1:45 pm. We were told 2.)

    Brother: “No. I was told by the nurse downstairs to come here.”

    Doctor: *getting out a radio* “I’ll just ask.”

    (He talks on the radio for a minute before glancing back at my brother. He then turns it off.)

    Brother: “Well? Can I take [Daughter] out?”

    Doctor: “No. Security has been called and will be here shortly. The nurse downstairs said she NEVER sent you up here and didn’t say to anyone beside this girl’s father that she needed visiting.”

    Brother: *worried* “Look, I AM her uncle. You can call her mother.”

    Doctor: “I don’t need to do anything else.” *gets radio again* “Err, [Nurse #1], who did you send up here?”

    Nurse #1: *barely audible* “Girl’s father. I recognized him.”

    (My husband and brother look nothing like each other.)

    Doctor: “Okay.” *turns radio off* “You are not going ANYWHERE with this girl!”

    (Security guards arrive and begin escorting my brother downstairs. The police had been called and at that moment I am arriving to drive them home when I see the car. I rush in and find my brother being taken out.)

    Me: “[Brother]? What’s going on?!”

    (The guards tell me everything after I am verified by several different people that I am related to my daughter.)

    Me: “God, this is stupid; he’s her uncle!”

    Doctor: “No, the nurse said she sent the father up and she didn’t recognise this guy. Are you sure your brother—”

    Me: “I KNOW that my brother was sent here. Where IS the nurse?”

    (Nurse #1 comes over.)

    Nurse #1: “Ma’am, I saw your husband in the lobby and he was asking me for directions, so I gave him the way to the room. I made sure the right guy went. But they asked because the wrong guy had come up. So I got security.”

    Me: “This is ridiculous. We were told to collect her now, and you let a guy go in without confirmation because you thought you knew who he was?”

    (We never went back to that hospital.)

    For A Few Dollars More

    | Australia | Bad Behavior, Bosses & Owners, Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal, Money

    (I decide to shut down an account at the bank. The teller completes the transactions and gives me the balance of the account in cash. Later that day, there’s a knock at my door. My mother opens the door to see two police officers and an angry looking man in a suit demanding to see me.)

    Police #1: “Were you in [Bank] today?”

    Me: “Yes. What is this about?”

    Police #1: “The bank manager here says that you took money.”

    Me: “I closed an account; the teller gave me my balance.”

    Manager: *shouting* “YOU TOOK MONEY! YOU STOLE IT!”

    Me: “No. I only got what the teller gave me. I didn’t count it as it was so little.”

    Police #1: “So little? How much is so little?”

    Me: “I don’t know. I didn’t check the balance, but it was under $10.”

    Bank Manager: “It was supposed to be $8 but you took $9.”

    Me: “I had no idea the teller gave me $1 more.”

    (I pull a dollar note out of my pocket. The manager snatches it.)

    Bank Manager: *to police* “Aren’t you going to arrest him?”

    Police #2: “HIM? H***, NO! You, on the other hand, have wasted valuable police time over a measly dollar. You were acting as if it was thousands. H***, I would have given you a dollar myself if I had known. And, it was the bank’s fault.”

    (After apologising to me they took the red-faced manager out, promising to report him to his superiors.)

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