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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Parental Misguidance

    | Allentown, PA, USA | Bosses & Owners, Crazy Requests

    (I have been the church secretary for almost five years at this point. The church has an in-house day care, which uses the same main entrance as the church office.)

    Council Member: “We’ve decided that you’re going to be responsible for monitoring the parents when they come into the day care.”

    Me: “What? That’s not my job.”

    Council Member: “It is now. Parents are very concerned about their children’s safety, so we’re going to start locking the door and you will have to let people in when they come.”

    Me: “I don’t know who the parents are. How am I supposed to know who I’m letting in the building?”

    Council Member: “That’s true.”

    Me: “Not to mention, my job takes me all over this building. Sometimes I’m in the supply room, or up in the sanctuary. I’m not always sitting here.”

    Council Member: “Also true.”

    Me: “Furthermore, I was never hired to be a security guard. This is not normal secretary work.”

    Council Member: “Yes, you’re right about all this.”

    Me: “And?”

    Council Member: “And you’re going to do it anyway.”

    (I was also written up for objecting. After two months of the headaches, I left. Someone later let it slip to me that they did this on purpose to force me to quit.)

    Not Thankful For The Early Notice

    | MD, USA | Bosses & Owners, Crazy Requests, Holidays, Overtime

    (I’m a waiter at a popular sports bar. I was hired on in August and was told that, due to Thanksgiving being a busy day for football games, I had to let them know if I needed that day off in advance. I know that my family was planning a trip to the beach so I go ahead and tell my boss during the initial training day.)

    Me: “I’ve already made plans with my family that week so I won’t be able to work.”

    Boss: “No problem, thanks for the early notice!”

    (Fast-forward to the morning before Thanksgiving Day. I’m at the beach with my family when I get a call from my boss.)

    Boss: “Hey [Name], I know you requested this week off to be with your family, but I could really use your help here at [bar]. Is there any way you could come in for an evening shift after you’ve had dinner?”

    Me: “I’m sorry [Boss], but I’m not in town; we’re at the beach until Saturday.”

    Boss: “Wait what?! You didn’t tell me you were going to be out of town!”

    Me: “Well, I didn’t think I needed to specify where I was going to be…”

    Boss: “You should have told me you wouldn’t be able to get called in; I was counting on you being in town in case I needed coverage!”

    Me: “Sir, I told you I wasn’t going to be available at all this week. Why would you count on me if I requested those days off?”

    Boss: “Wait… which beach are you at?”

    Me: “Virginia Beach… why?”

    Boss: “That’s what, four hours away?”

    Me: *knowing where he’s going with this* “Uh huh…”

    Boss: “Well… if you left at 3:00 PM you could be here by 7, that way I can have someone to close.”

    Me: “Let me get this straight… you want me to leave my family vacation the day of Thanksgiving, drive four hours to work one shift, and drive back after I’ve closed the bar at 2:00 AM?”

    Boss: *sigh* “…I’ll see if I can find someone else.”

    Periodic Bathroom Breaks

    | Vista, CA, USA | Bosses & Owners, Coworkers, Crazy Requests, Health & Body

    (I am the only female shift lead in the art department of a coupon magazine. My supervisor comes to me with a request:)

    Supervisor: “Can you go ask [Female Coworker] why she is making a lot of trips to the restroom?”

    Me: “No.”

    (I guessed at the reason why, but I wasn’t going to say it.)

    Supervisor: “You have to; you are the lead. I need to make sure she’s not on drugs.”

    (I just stare at him. Not wanting to get into an argument with him about the legality of the question and his reasons, I go find my coworker. I explained to her what he asked. Luckily she has a pretty good sense of humor.)

    Me: “So, you want me to be obnoxious in my answer?”

    Coworker: “Go for it.”

    (At my desk, from across the room from my supervisor’s desk, I yell out:)

    Me: “Hey, [Supervisor]! [Female Coworker] is on the rag, hence the numerous restroom trips!”

    (He never asked me to do that again…)

    The Salon Doesn’t Make The Cut

    , | Seattle, WA, USA | Crazy Requests, Employees, Money

    (I’m helping with a fundraiser at the local mall. We have various stalls set up selling special items or offering special services, with all the profits going to charity. A woman that recently opened a hair salon arrives and asks to speak to one of the staff as she sets up.)

    Woman: “You know, I was thinking on the way over here. This is usually a day off for me, yet I’ve agreed to come in and work for you.”

    Me: “Yes, well, it’s for a good cause.”

    Woman: “Yeah, but I’m not going to see a single penny for today.”

    Me: “Again, that’s because it’s going to charity.”

    Woman: “I know but… well, I’m just going to come out and say it: I don’t think this is at all fair for me, so I want to ask for an amendment to be made.”

    Me: “And that is?”

    Woman: “Either I get 50% of the profits from today, or I walk.”

    (There is a moment of stunned silence. Slowly I look around at the other people, many of whom have likewise agreed to come and work on their days off without protest.)

    Me: “Well, I guess you walk, then.”

    Woman: “…What?!”

    Me: “If you don’t want to work for free, then you’re free to leave.”

    Woman: “Wha… but… I’ve got folks coming for me to do their hair today! They’ll be wondering where I am!”

    Me: “Then I’ll tell them what you said about demanding the right to take money from charity.”

    Woman: “WHAT?! But that’ll kill business for me!”

    Me: “Well, that’s on you. Everyone here agreed to the hours and the terms of this fundraiser, and none of them have expressed the selfish attitude I’m hearing from you.”

    Woman: “Okay, I’ll stay! I’ll stay!”

    (She frantically begins setting up, then goes to work without a peep. Thinking that’s that, I go back to helping with the other businesses who’re participating. A few hours later I’m approached by another lady.)

    Lady: “Hey, I don’t want to complain, but the woman from the hair salon over there? She’s been telling every customer she’s worked with how unfair it is that you’re not paying her for this charity event. It’s making several people rather uneasy.”

    Me: *sigh* “Hold on. I’ll get my manager.”

    (We contacted security and promptly have her removed from the mall. Surprisingly, she still managed to stay in business afterwards.)

    Hard To Explain

    | OH, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Bosses & Owners, Crazy Requests

    (My manager calls me in for a special six month review. Since I recently took on several large projects, and have been doing well, even getting compliments from the CEO, I secretly hope for a raise.)

    Manager: “I want to talk to you about [Project #1] and [Project #2]. You’ve been doing a really good job with them, but I was really hoping that, by this time in the year, they would have gotten easier for you.”

    Me: “Oh, well, they’re always going to be difficult. I basically have to start from scratch on each one! I can handle it though, and [CEO] has been really impressed.”

    Manager: “Yes, but I really want you to get to a point where they’re easy.”

    Me: “I’m sorry. I don’t understand. Do you want me to spend less time on them?”

    Manager: “No, you’re getting everything done. They still just seem to be a challenge. Is there a way you can work on that?”

    Me: “They’re always going to be hard. They’re huge projects with enormous documents and require coordination with at least 10 departments and they have to be finished every month. I’m not sure how you want them to be easier. Do you want them to just look easier?”

    Manager: “No. I just want you to focus on making the whole process easier. It just seems really hard right now.”

    (So, no raise because my work is hard. I still have no idea what she meant.)


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