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  • Category: Crazy Requests

    Literally Life & Death

    | Dublin, Ireland | Bosses & Owners, Crazy Requests, Health & Body

    Boss: “I need everyone to stay late tonight to get these programs written by Friday.”

    Me: “We’ve pretty much finished them already. I can stay late tomorrow but tonight I have to go to my other job.”

    Boss: “This work needs to be done by the end of the week. What’s the worst that’ll happen if you don’t get to your other job?”

    Me: “My other job is in suicide prevention…”

    Not A Pleasant Experience

    | Leeds, England, UK | Crazy Requests, Employees, Extra Stupid, Job Seekers

    (During an interview for a help-tech position with local computer store:)

    Interviewer: “Well… I can see you have 20 years experience and have the relevant qualifications. But I don’t think we can employ you.”

    Me: *rather taken aback* “Oh… well, okay. Thank you for being honest with me. Can I ask why?”

    Interviewer: “Well, honestly, it’s because of your age. We’ve found that older people don’t really ‘get’ computers.”

    Me: “We don’t really… You did say I was more than qualified, right?”

    Interviewer: “Yes, that’s right. Ideally we’d prefer someone who’s a recent graduate, say in their mid 20s so they’re more ‘in-tune’ with technology, like most young people are today. Frankly, you’re too old to know anything about modern computers.”

    Me: “And yet on the application it said you were looking for someone with a minimum of 10 years work experience?”

    Interviewer: “Yes. that’s right. Anything else I can help you with?”

    Me: “No… I’ll just go get my zimmer-frame and shuffle off now. Good luck finding someone who graduated at age 10.”

    (Funnily enough, they’re still looking.)

    Molding Your Gender Expectations

    | Dublin, Ireland | Bosses & Owners, Crazy Requests, Lazy/Unhelpful, New Hires

    (My new boss is showing me and another new hire around the office on our first day in an IT programming role. I and the other new hire are both female; everyone else in the office is male. He shows us the kitchenette and opens the door of the fridge, to find that the inside of it is covered in a thick layer of mold.)

    Me: “Woah, that thing is gonna need its own ID card soon!”

    Boss: “Ah, for f***’s sake! Those lads are terrible for never cleaning this thing. I don’t know whether to get it cleaned or just get rid of it. Even if it gets cleaned they’d only wreck it again. Would you two use it?”

    Us: “If it gets cleaned, yeah, we’d use it.”

    Boss: “Okay, well, if you two ladies are volunteering to clean it, I’ll send an email round to the lads saying not to let it get that dirty again. Cheers, girls!”

    Us: *speechless*

    Quitting On Schedule

    | Queens, NY, USA | Bosses & Owners, Crazy Requests, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (Generally, we are supposed to call the store on Saturday night to receive our schedules for the next week, but every time I try calling the line either disconnects or is automatically put on hold indefinitely. I get around this by asking coworkers to check for me or physically coming into the store on Sunday, but I can’t one particular weekend. Several weeks previously, I asked to change my general availability so that I could have my weekly therapist appointments. On one of these particular days, the week of Christmas, I receive a call from the store manager not ten minutes after I walk out of the doctor’s office.)

    Manager: “Hi, is this [My Name]?”

    Me: “Um, yes. What is it?”

    Manager: “You do know you were supposed to come in at 10 this morning, right?”

    Me: “What?”

    Manager: “You were also supposed to come in for a shift yesterday, and you never showed up.”

    Me: “I— hold on. I requested both of those days of the week off so that I can go have my weekly therapist appointments! I put in that request weeks ago!”

    (There is an awkward silence.)

    Manager: “You’re still on the schedule for this week. Didn’t you call the store line to receive your schedule for the week?”

    Me: “Yes, I did, but no one ever picked up! I tried both the manager’s AND the guest services line, several times, and it would just disconnect! How am I supposed to know my schedule, especially when I’m scheduled over times that I specifically requested off, when no one would even pick up the phone?”

    (There is another awkward silence. I hear her speaking with someone else in the background.)

    Manager: “It is your responsibility to call in and find out your schedule when it is posted Saturday night. It was your responsibility to know that you are working every day this week.”

    Me: “Every day?! Wait, I requested the days after Christmas off, too! Are you telling me that didn’t go through either?!”

    Manager: “You’re coming into work today?”

    Me: “I—”

    Manager: “Because if not, don’t bother coming in again.”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Manager: “If you do not come in to work today, don’t bother coming in again.”

    (There is another long silence. I think about not only how I’m being told to work on days I specifically requested off, but how I am somehow expected to know that by calling numbers that are never picked up.)

    Me: “Okay, then. I quit.”

    (Somehow, becoming unemployed has never been so satisfying. Merry Christmas to me.)

    Not The Brightest Of Coworkers

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Coworkers, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    (I work in a long office space that has windows all down one side. It is very open and well-lit, and at night the parking lot lights and streetlights stream in. A coworker works in the workspace farthest from the main door, by insistent choice. Her workspace is bounded on two sides by windows and is closest to the streetlights, so it gets the most exterior light of them all. I regularly work late, and am almost always the last person to leave. As I walk out the main door, I turn out the lights, since this is the only placement of the switches for the main lights. One morning I come to work to be confronted by Coworker, who is almost shaking with anger.)

    Coworker: “You turned the lights out on me last night! You left me in the dark!”

    Me: “Oops! Sorry about that. I thought I was the last one here, like usual.”

    Coworker: “Well, you weren’t, and I yelled at you. Why didn’t you turn them back on?”

    Me: “Sorry, but I didn’t hear anything.”

    Coworker: “Of course not! That’s because you were all the way down there!”

    Me: “Well… yes. That’s where the door and light switches are. Again, sorry, but—”

    Coworker: “Well, you shouldn’t have done it! I couldn’t see anything!”

    (From the light coming in the windows, and the various bits of light coming from power buttons, etc, I find I can almost read by the ambient light when the lights are off at night. The cleaning crew has shut them off on me a few times, so I know that the office is far from pitch black… especially when you’re sitting in front of two 24″ monitors throwing light everywhere. As a bonus, less than twenty feet from her workspace is a motion sensor that turns on one office’s lights, providing ample light to the entire area.)

    Me: “I’m sure you were fine.”

    Coworker: “No! I could have fallen and hurt myself, and no one would have found me until morning!”

    Me: “Look, I’m not sure what you want me to say at this point, but I know you’ve had this happen before, and it just upsets you. Why don’t you buy a cheap flashlight, and keep it in your desk drawer or something?”

    Coworker: “Oh, I do have one, but it doesn’t help.”

    Me: “Huh? Why not?”

    Coworker: “How can I find it in the dark?!”

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