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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Management: You’re Doing It Wrong

    | England, UK | Bad Behavior, Bosses & Owners, Crazy Requests

    (My boss knows I used to work for an inspection company and is trying to exploit that.)

    Boss: “Ring them up and get it done for next week.”

    Me: “Okay, I’ll try, but I know they are very busy and get booked up months in advance.”

    Boss: “Just get it done.”

    (I ring them up.)

    Me: *on phone* “Hi, it’s [My Name]. Do you have any spare slots for some work next week?”

    Receptionist: “Sorry, [My Name], we are booked solid for the next three months.”

    Me: “No problem; I figured as much. Please let me know of any cancellations.”

    (I hang up and go to tell my boss.)

    Me: “Sorry, boss, they are booked solid. They just don’t have anyone spare.”

    Boss: “No! You ring them up and tell them to do it.”

    Me: “Tell them to do it? They choose what work they want to do; they are a multi-million pound company. They won’t jump to my order.”

    Boss: “Just do it!”

    (I give up ring again and email all week. Thankfully, as I know the MD, he personally does the work for us despite everything.)

    Me: “Here are the results you wanted. They have colour-coded everything you asked for.”

    Boss: “Tell them to do this as well.”

    Me: “No.”

    Boss: “Do it.”

    Me: “No. The MD of the company did me a massive favour when they were exceptionally busy. If you want to order around someone far more senior than you, you ring him.”

    Boss: “I… err.”

    Me: “Besides, I happen to know he is off on holiday now.”

    Boss: *suddenly calm* “Okay then, [My Name], it doesn’t matter.”

    (And after that he was fine again, I’m still here nearly a year later, although I do have to have a go every once in a while when he blows up.)

    Not Giving You Enough Credit

    | USA | At The Checkout, Bosses & Owners, Crazy Requests

    (My boss is coaching me on how to sell more credit cards and product warranties since my numbers have been fairly low recently:)

    Boss: “I want you asking every customer who comes through your line.”

    Me: “EVERY customer?”

    Boss: “Yes, every customer.”

    Me: “So, what if they are just buying a soda? How am I supposed to ask them if they want [promotional financing plan] on a soda?”

    Boss: “Well, you could still ask them if they want to pay for it with their [Store credit card].”

    Me: “And if a kid comes through my line without his or her parents and buys some candy or a drink?”

    Boss: *blank stare*

    Me: “You have to be at least 18 to apply for the credit card, so I’m not going to offer it to a kid.”

    Boss: “Well, no, I don’t expect you to offer it to kids.”

    Me: “You said, EVERY customer.”

    Boss: “Use discretion.”

    Me: “Okay.”

    Boss: “But for the most part, every customer. If I walk by from now on and I don’t hear you saying that, I’m going to think you’re not offering it.”

    (He made me so paranoid about this that sometimes, when someone DID come up with just a soda and nothing else, I would look around to see if any managers were in earshot before I would start ringing up the customer’s soda, because I didn’t want to be caught not offering it… even if it was in a situation where the offer didn’t apply.)

    A Disappearance Act

    | Vancouver, BC, Canada | Crazy Requests, Employees, Health & Body

    (I swipe my card to go into the gym and begin to walk away.)

    Receptionist: “EXCUSE ME.”

    Me: “Yes?”

    Receptionist: “You can’t use someone else’s card to get into the gym.”

    Me: “…I know?”

    Receptionist: “That’s not your card!”

    Me: “Yes… it is.”

    Receptionist: “That’s not you in that picture!”

    Me: “Yes, it is.”

    Receptionist: “Just saying that isn’t going to change my mind.”

    Me: “I really don’t know what else to tell you. This is my card and this is a picture of me.”

    Receptionist: “Oh, come on. The hair is totally different.”

    (I take my hair down from its ponytail so that it’s loose around my shoulders like in the picture.)

    Me: “Better?”

    Receptionist: “Well, you need to make more of an effort to keep your appearance consistent!”

    (I’m still not sure what I would have done if I had gotten a haircut or, god forbid, a dye job…)

    Not Trying To Be A Pest(o)

    | NM, USA | Crazy Requests, Employees, Food & Drink

    (I order a mushroom calzone with no pesto. When I get my order it has pesto on it, so I take it back up to the counter.)

    Me: “Excuse me, I ordered this with no pesto.”

    Employee: “Sorry, the mushrooms come canned in a pesto sauce.We can’t make one without the other.”

    Me: “I specifically asked if it could me made without pesto when I ordered it and [Other Employee] said yes. Can I at least get something else?”

    Employee: “We don’t do returns. You’re just going to have to eat it.”

    Me: “No, I’m allergic to nuts. This could literally kill me.”

    Employee: “Well, sorry, but—”

    Manager: “Is there a problem here?”

    (I explain the situation to him, and he not only refunds me but he also gives me a slice of cheese pizza for free.)

    Manager: “Sorry for almost killing you!”

    Graduate To A Better Hotel

    | PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Employees, Money

    (In about a year my son is graduating from a large university with over 10,000 graduates. We have to make our hotel reservation really early to guarantee a room. I am calling the front desk of a particular hotel back about a room on the date they told me they’d start taking reservations.)

    Employee: “Hello, this is [Hotel] in [Town]. How may I help you?”

    Me: “Yes I’d like two rooms for this time next year for the college graduation. I need the room from [date] to [date].”

    (I am requesting a room for three days and two nights. It will be from a Thursday to Saturday.)

    Employee: “I am sorry but due to the fact that it is graduation weekend your reservation needs to be for at least two nights.”

    Me: “It is.”

    Employee: “How?”

    Me: “Thursday night and Friday night.”

    Employee: “Oh! That doesn’t work.”

    Me: “Why not?”

    Employee: “Because it needs to be two weekend nights.”

    Me: “So you’re going to make me stay an extra night even though the ceremonies end on Friday and I have no reason to stay an extra night?”

    Employee: “Yes.”

    (This goes back and forth for a couple of minutes with me trying to convince her that I should be able to get the room for the dates I want. I don’t have any luck.)

    Me: “Okay? So how much are rooms anyways?”

    Employee: “$600 per room per night.”

    (Note that this three-star hotel usually charges no more than $200 per night per room.)

    Me: “So, you want me to pay an extra $1200 for two rooms I don’t need.”

    Employee: “I guess.”

    Me: “Well, I am sorry but not only is that a lot for a room I don’t have the extra money to spend on a room I don’t want. Nor do I want to. I will be booking somewhere else.”

    Employee: “Fine then! We don’t want customers like you anyway. Someone else will gladly take this room. Good luck finding a better deal.”

    Me: “Good-bye.”

    (I did find a room at a different hotel for closer to $250 per night per room who treated me a lot nicer and thanked me for my service. They also didn’t make me charge for a night I didn’t want.)

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