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    Category: Crazy Requests

    Missing Identity

    | UT, USA | Crazy Requests, Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (I had dropped my wallet, including ID, bus pass, debit card, etc. on the bus. After searching my apartment top to bottom, I call the bus depot, and am told they have it. With no bus pass or method to access my money, I have to beg a ride from a neighbor. When I finally arrive at the depot, they are about 10 minutes from closing the help desk windows.)

    Me: “Excuse me, but I was told my wallet was here. Could you please help me?”

    Worker: “We’re closing.”

    Me: “Yes, I know, in 10 minutes. I just need to pick up my wallet, please. It’s black, bi-fold.” *I list a few other notable features, including the fact that my ID, is in there*

    Worker: *heavy sigh, holds out her hand* “ID?”

    Me: “It’s in the wallet.”

    Worker: “No, I need you to show me your ID, so I can go find your wallet.”

    Me: “My name is [My Name], and my ID is In the wallet that I’m here to retrieve.”

    Worker: “I can’t give you anything out of Lost & Found without an ID. Go home and get it.”

    Me: “You’re not listening. My ID isn’t at home, it is IN the wallet, in YOUR Lost & Found.”

    Worker: “Look, it’s a security issue. I can’t just go handing out our Lost & Found to anyone who asks. I need your ID.”

    Me: “Then go get it! You have it, not me!”

    Worker: *finally looks away from her computer screen* “Excuse me?”

    Me: “I’m here to get my WALLET, which contains my ID. You have both those things in your Lost & Found. I already called and checked earlier. I confirmed that my wallet was turned in by the driver of the bus I ride every day. His name’s [Name]. So can you please go get the wallet, check the ID in it, and then give it back to me?”

    Worker: “But you need to show me your ID! How do I know you are who you say you are without your ID?”

    Me: “You ALREADY HAVE my ID! It’s in YOUR Lost & Found!”

    Worker: “But how do I know it’s YOUR ID? You could be anybody, just claiming the wallet is yours.”

    Me: “The picture on my driver’s license is less than two years old. My military ID is even newer. You should have no problem telling it’s me. What’s more, I can tell you exactly what’s in the wallet, and exactly where everything is.”

    Worker: “Look, no ID, no wallet. I won’t break the rules. And besides, we’re closing. Come back tomorrow with your ID and get it then.”

    Me: *finally realizing there’s no getting through to her, I place my hands flat on the ledge* “Could you please go get your manager?”

    Worker: “Fine, but she’s just going to tell you to go get your ID!”

    (It takes a few minutes for her to get the manager, which is surprising, since the entire building is less than 25’X15′.)

    Manager: “I understand you have a problem with our Lost & Found procedures.”

    Me: “Not at all. I called earlier, and was told my wallet was here. I’d like to pick it up, please. My ID is in the wallet, along with [the rest of the contents]. It’s a black, bi-fold wallet.”

    Manager: “Yes, I’m the one you spoke to earlier. Let me go get that.” *walks off to the Lost & Found, followed by the worker*

    Worker: “But she doesn’t have her ID! We can’t give her anything from the Lost & Found with her ID!”

    Manager: “Are you thick? Her ID is RIGHT HERE!” *she opens my wallet, revealing my ID*

    Worker: *snatches my wallet, stomps over to the window, and stare – more like glares – back and forth between my and the ID for a good long while*

    Manager: “Oh, for pity’s sake!” *takes the wallet from the worker, and slides it through the window’s access port* “Here’s your wallet, Miss [My Name]. Sorry for the inconvenience!”

    Me: *just glad the whole ordeal is finally over* “THANK you! Really. Have a nice day.”

    Manager: “You, too.”

    Worker: *hollering as I walk away* “Next time, BRING YOUR ID!”

    Didn’t Get Anything From The Tree Of Knowledge

    | NY, USA | Crazy Requests, History, Pets & Animals, Religion

    (My family is Mormon and lives near Palmyra, NY, where Mormonism was founded when Joseph Smith prayed in a grove of trees near his house. This grove of trees is called in Mormonism “The Sacred Grove,” and bears a lot of religious significance to Mormons. The grove and the land are now owned by the Mormon Church, and a lot of tourists (Mormon and non-Mormon) come visit it. My younger brother, a teenager, works as the groundskeeper for the farm, grove, and a few other nearby sites of religious significance to Mormons. He gets a radio call from one of the missionaries that act as tour guides that there is a guest who’d like to speak to him.)

    Brother: “What can I help you with?”

    Guest: “Are you the groundskeeper?”

    Brother: “Yes.”

    Guest: “I have a complaint.”

    Brother: “I’m sorry to hear that. What’s wrong?”

    Guest: “I was out in the Sacred Grove, and there are SNAKES out there!”

    Brother: “Yes. We try to keep the grove as much like it was when Joseph Smith prayed in 1820 so that anyone who would like can commune with God. That’s why, other than trails and a few benches, there is nothing unnatural in there.”

    Guest: “But there are snakes!”

    Brother: “Yes, there are snakes.”

    Guest: “Get rid of them.”

    Brother: “It is nearly 100 acres of wild, upstate NY forest. There are snakes in there. There is also poison ivy. That’s why, other than the established clearing, you stay on the path.”

    Guest: “But there are SNAKES!”

    Brother: “There are snakes. They aren’t poisonous, and they’re not hurting anyone. They are in their natural habitat. There were snakes when Joseph Smith prayed. There’s nothing I can do about it. I’m sorry it upsets you. By all reports there was a snake in the Garden of Eden, too.”

    Guest: *wandering away* “It’s just so inappropriate!”

    Parental Misguidance

    | Allentown, PA, USA | Bosses & Owners, Crazy Requests

    (I have been the church secretary for almost five years at this point. The church has an in-house day care, which uses the same main entrance as the church office.)

    Council Member: “We’ve decided that you’re going to be responsible for monitoring the parents when they come into the day care.”

    Me: “What? That’s not my job.”

    Council Member: “It is now. Parents are very concerned about their children’s safety, so we’re going to start locking the door and you will have to let people in when they come.”

    Me: “I don’t know who the parents are. How am I supposed to know who I’m letting in the building?”

    Council Member: “That’s true.”

    Me: “Not to mention, my job takes me all over this building. Sometimes I’m in the supply room, or up in the sanctuary. I’m not always sitting here.”

    Council Member: “Also true.”

    Me: “Furthermore, I was never hired to be a security guard. This is not normal secretary work.”

    Council Member: “Yes, you’re right about all this.”

    Me: “And?”

    Council Member: “And you’re going to do it anyway.”

    (I was also written up for objecting. After two months of the headaches, I left. Someone later let it slip to me that they did this on purpose to force me to quit.)

    Not Thankful For The Early Notice

    | MD, USA | Bosses & Owners, Crazy Requests, Holidays, Overtime

    (I’m a waiter at a popular sports bar. I was hired on in August and was told that, due to Thanksgiving being a busy day for football games, I had to let them know if I needed that day off in advance. I know that my family was planning a trip to the beach so I go ahead and tell my boss during the initial training day.)

    Me: “I’ve already made plans with my family that week so I won’t be able to work.”

    Boss: “No problem; thanks for the early notice!”

    (Fast-forward to the morning before Thanksgiving Day. I’m at the beach with my family when I get a call from my boss.)

    Boss: “Hey [My Name], I know you requested this week off to be with your family, but I could really use your help here at [Bar]. Is there any way you could come in for an evening shift after you’ve had dinner?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, [Boss], but I’m not in town; we’re at the beach until Saturday.”

    Boss: “Wait, what?! You didn’t tell me you were going to be out of town!”

    Me: “Well, I didn’t think I needed to specify where I was going to be…”

    Boss: “You should have told me you wouldn’t be able to get called in; I was counting on you being in town in case I needed coverage!”

    Me: “Sir, I told you I wasn’t going to be available at all this week. Why would you count on me if I requested those days off?”

    Boss: “Wait… which beach are you at?”

    Me: “Virginia Beach… Why?”

    Boss: “That’s what, four hours away?”

    Me: *knowing where he’s going with this* “Uh huh…”

    Boss: “Well… if you left at three pm you could be here by seven. That way I can have someone to close.”

    Me: “Let me get this straight… You want me to leave my family vacation the day of Thanksgiving, drive four hours to work one shift, and drive back after I’ve closed the bar at two am?”

    Boss: *sigh* “…I’ll see if I can find someone else.”

    Periodic Bathroom Breaks

    | Vista, CA, USA | Bosses & Owners, Coworkers, Crazy Requests, Health & Body

    (I am the only female shift lead in the art department of a coupon magazine. My supervisor comes to me with a request:)

    Supervisor: “Can you go ask [Female Coworker] why she is making a lot of trips to the restroom?”

    Me: “No.”

    (I guessed at the reason why, but I wasn’t going to say it.)

    Supervisor: “You have to; you are the lead. I need to make sure she’s not on drugs.”

    (I just stare at him. Not wanting to get into an argument with him about the legality of the question and his reasons, I go find my coworker. I explained to her what he asked. Luckily she has a pretty good sense of humor.)

    Me: “So, you want me to be obnoxious in my answer?”

    Coworker: “Go for it.”

    (At my desk, from across the room from my supervisor’s desk, I yell out:)

    Me: “Hey, [Supervisor]! [Female Coworker] is on the rag, hence the numerous restroom trips!”

    (He never asked me to do that again…)

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