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    Category: Criminal/Illegal

    There’s A Crack In Their Window

    | Detroit, MI, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Employees, Liars/Scammers, Technology

    Scammer: “Hello Ma’am. This is Microsoft Tech Support. We have a report from your internet service provider that your computer has been hacked and is sending out viruses.”

    Me: “Oh really?”

    Scammer: “Yes, Ma’am. Your ISP is giving this tech support assistance absolutely free to all their customers. I just need you to sit down at your computer and I’ll give you directions so on how to fix the problem.”

    Me: “And who did you say is calling?”

    Scammer: “This is Microsoft Tech Support. And the call is absolutely free. If you will just turn on your computer, I’ll walk you through fixing the problem so that we can stop the hackers from using your machine.”

    Me: “No, you’re not.”

    Scammer: “Excuse me?”

    Me: “You aren’t Microsoft Tech Support. This is a scam.”

    Scammer: “No, Ma’am. Windows is from Microsoft, and I’m calling because your Internet Service Provider contacted Microsoft about your computer being hacked. Your ISP is paying for this call; therefore, we here at Microsoft can help you fix your computer free of charge.”

    Me: “I don’t think so. You’re hacker and you’re trying to get access to my computer. And it won’t work because I already know it’s a scam. I use Linux.”

    (Very long silence… *click*)

    Breaking Bad Passwords

    | Australia | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers, Criminal/Illegal

    (I work for a computer repair shop, and it is not uncommon for customers to forget to give us a password, or give us a wrong one. To save us a phone call, we try to guess the password in this instance.)

    Coworker: “I can’t get in. The hint is ‘ice’. I’ve tried ‘frozen water’ and ‘cold’.”

    Me: “Have you tried anything relating to drugs?”

    Coworker: “I’ve tried ‘drugs’, I’ve tried ‘meth’, I’ve tried ‘speed’…”

    (We burst into laughter and he realises how that sounded out loud.)

    Coworker: “I haven’t tried DOING those.”

    Very Bad Reception, Part 7

    | Adelaide, SA, Australia | Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Employees, Family & Kids, Health & Body

    (I am 16, and have a condition that I’m currently getting treated with ultra-violet light. I have to stand in a light box. On this day, I finish up and go to reception to pay my bill. There is no one there. I ring the bell, and end up waiting about 10 minutes. No one comes to the desk. I call my mum.)

    Me: “Mum, I’ve been standing at reception in the doctor’s office for 10 minutes, and no one is here. No other patients, no one. I don’t know what to do. Could you please drive past on your way home and pay the bill for me? If I stay any longer, I’ll miss my bus to work.”

    (My mother reported this next part of the story to me.)

    Mum: “Hi, I’m here to pay the bill for [My Name]. She was here earlier today and no one was around when she left.”

    Receptionist #1: “Oh, HER. We’ve been talking about that disgraceful girl all day. You should be ashamed.”

    Mum: “Excuse me?!”

    Receptionist #2: “Fancy running out without paying. She claims there was no one here? What a load of rubbish. I hope you are proud, raising such an irresponsible girl.”

    Mum: “I’m here to pay her bill. Now, how would I know to do that if she hadn’t have called me, upset, worried that she couldn’t pay?”

    Receptionists: “Um…”

    Mum: “That’s right. I’m here because, after waiting here for 10 minutes to pay, she called me, upset because she was going to miss her bus to work. I’m here because she did the only thing she could do. Would you like to rethink your accusations?”

    (The receptionists went about the rest of the transaction in an angry silence. What they didn’t know is that my mother was friends with one of the casual staff at the surgery. We found out later that the receptionists had gone out for lunch and forgotten I was there. The big speech about me doing a runner was so that the doctors wouldn’t know they’d left the desk unattended. Nothing says guilt like an aggressive overreaction!)

    Related:
    Very Bad Reception, Part 6
    Very Bad Reception, Part 5
    Very Bad Reception, Part 4

    Look At The Shirt Before You Get Shirty

    | SA, Australia | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Employees

    (My volunteer group has just finished up a community event and we are all wearing bright green promotional shirts. As many other restaurants are full, we all go for lunch at a small pub where the only customers are two middle-aged couples. I am last in line to pay after we have eaten.)

    Friend In Front Of Me: “Just the lasagna and lemon squash, thanks.”

    (He pays for his items and steps aside with the others who have paid so I can approach the register.)

    Cashier: *to friend* “Hey, there’s still a meal and drink to pay for! Don’t think you can just walk on out of here without settling your bill!”

    Me: “Um—”

    Cashier: *glances at me* “One moment, please.” *to friend* “Just because there’s so many of you it doesn’t mean you can confuse me into thinking you’ve paid for everything! Split billing keeps track of all of it!”

    Friend In Front Of Me: *gesturing at me* “Uh, there’s still one more to pay—”

    Cashier: “Yes, exactly. One more surf-n-turf and a [soda]! Now are you going to cover the difference between you all or is the cheat who tried to get their meal for free going to own up?”

    Another Friend: “I think she has been patiently waiting to pay this whole time.”

    (The cashier turns towards me and slowly looks me up and down. I’m in the same lime shirt as all the others.)

    Cashier: “Oh, I didn’t know you were with them.”

    In Your Darkest Extra Hour

    | USA | Bad Behavior, Coworkers, Criminal/Illegal

    (I’ve already worked the daily maximum hours allowed at my job when this occurs.)

    Coworker: “Hey, [My Name], I’m gonna need you to come in for a couple of hours to cover [Another Coworker].”

    Me: “I’m sorry, man, I can’t. I’m already maxed out. I’ll be in tomorrow, though.”

    Coworker: *typing in the background* “It’s cool. I just fixed it so you can come in. I erased the last few hours you worked so you should be cool to do what I need.”

    Me: *in disbelief* “You just erased a few hours off my timecard? Do you know how illegal that is?”

    Coworker: “Oh, relax. Who’s gonna find out anyway?”

    Me: “How about [Boss] when she shows up tomorrow morning?”

    Coworker: “You worry too much; she’ll never know. And besides, it’s my word against yours, anyway.”

    Me: “No, it’s actually your word against mine; the surveillance system, and the recording of this call that will prove to [Boss] who’s telling the truth.”

    Coworker: “…”

    Me: “Also, just so you know, those are both backed up off-site and can only be accessed by [Boss] or her boss.”

    Coworker: “…”

    (Oddly enough, for some reason, that coworker mysteriously quit before the start of next shift.)


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