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  • Swearing You Into A Job
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  • Category: Criminal/Illegal

    Steal Herself For An Arrest

    | TX, USA | Coworkers, Criminal/Illegal, Liars/Scammers

    (I’ve just been hired on at a store as seasonal worker. There have been a few random thefts that can’t be explained.)

    Coworker #1: “They just started up around the time that you and [Other Seasonal Worker] started. It’s funny.”

    Me: “The manager told me about it. She said someone had taken the money we’d collected for the breast cancer awareness and shoved the envelope behind the desk in the office. We’ve also been losing around $10 or $20 from the registers from time to time.”

    Coworker #1: “I can’t believe someone would do that. It offends me so much. God provides for us. I bet they’re using it to buy their drugs. That’s disgusting. If someone wanted to be lazy and just steal, they should let the prison take care of them.”

    Me: “That’s a little harsh, don’t you think? Besides, we don’t know who it is. What if they needed the money for food?”

    Coworker #1: “Because no one steals money for food. I wonder who it is. I know it’s not me or [Assistant Manager]. It could be you or [Other Seasonal Worker].”

    Me: *offended* “I know you don’t know me, but I’d rather have the job than just chance losing it by taking money like that.”

    Coworker #1: “Oh, I didn’t mean it like that. I’m just saying; it could be any one of us. Except for [Assistant Manager]. She works so hard all the time, trying to pay her way through school. I bet it’s [Other Seasonal Worker]. She just looks the part. Like a druggie, you know? And I heard she’s been flitting from one job to the next. I bet she just doesn’t want to get caught.”

    Me: “I’m sure [Manager] will find out who it is and the matter will be settled.”

    (Six months later, we have a robbery. I’m not in on that day, but I hear from another coworker how Coworker #1 was there and gave a lengthy description of the thief to the cops and how it happened. Two weeks after that, she’s no longer on the roster.)

    Me: “Oh, we lost [Coworker #1]?”

    Coworker #2: “You didn’t hear? She got fired for theft.”

    Me: *shocked* “What?”

    Coworker #2: “She kept urging the manager on duty to go get some food, and while he was gone, she shoved the money down her sock and made some sob story about how she dropped some dimes. While she was picking them up, she said the customer leaned over to grab the money and ran out. Except the till squeaks when you take money out and [Manager] tested that. They went over the tapes and saw her stealing it. So they gave her the option to come in and give the money back and just be fired, or they’d call the cops on her.”

    Me: “She always talks about how much money her husband makes! Why would she need to steal?”

    Coworker #2: “I don’t know, but she told the manager it’s because she’s bi-polar and was off her meds.”

    Me: “Did she steal that breast cancer money?”

    Coworker #2: “Yeah! She kept telling everyone it was that other seasonal employee, because she looked like a druggie.”

    Me: “Oh, man. You realize she gave the police a false report, right?”

    Coworker #2: *smirking* “Yeah, so she’s likely going to go to jail anyway.”

    It’s A Warzone Up There

    | USA | Bosses & Owners, Criminal/Illegal, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (We have a huge wedding party, over 100 guests. They are making noise in the hallways, breaking things in the lobby, and in their rooms. Despite repeated attempts to quiet them down, they refuse to stop. Our security can’t even handle them. I call my manager.)

    Me: “[Manager], what should I do? I’ve had multiple complaints from these people. I’ve talked to the groom and every time he says he’ll quiet down, but he always starts them up again.”

    Manager: “Okay, call the police. We can’t have this.”

    Me: “Okay.”

    (I hang up and call the police, and explain the situation. They send two officers to speak with the groom. After a while, they come back down to speak with me.)

    Officer: “So… do you want to kick the groom out?”

    Me: “Yes! I’ve told him so many times to stop. He doesn’t listen and keeps partying and disturbing others. Plus, the groom has over 20 people in his room, which is against the fire code. Please escort him off.”

    Officer: “No can do. He’s a private in the military.”

    Me: “What?!”

    Officer: “We don’t touch military people. But it’s okay. We’ve spoken to him and he promises to keep his guests in check. Call us if he doesn’t…”

    (They left and I stood there, dumbfounded. The groom and his guests continued to raise h*** all night long, and I called my manager and explained what the officers said. My manager was just as shocked as I. The next day, my manager took the groom’s name and reported him to his commanding officer. We eventually discovered that the groom was demoted and kicked out of the military for his behavior!)

    Out-Scamming The Scammer

    | Montreal, QC, Canada | Criminal/Illegal, Employees, Liars/Scammers

    (I get a phone call from a scammer, saying that my boyfriend and I just won a cruise trip to the Bahamas. I decide to play the game.)

    Caller: ”Congratulations, miss! You and your boyfriend just won a one-week, all paid cruise trip to the Bahamas!”

    Me: “Oh, my God, really? I can’t believe it! Oh my, I’m so excited!”

    Caller: ”Isn’t it awesome? You’ll be enjoying a seven day, six night trip and you’ll get $500 for your personal needs, too!”

    Me: ”Wow! I’ve never been on a trip before! It’s unbelievable!”

    Caller: ”Now, in order to me to send you all the information about the trip, I’m gonna need a deposit of $500. It can be a transferred directly bank to bank, or your credit card number. And I can assure you that this is the faster way for you to have the tickets, ma’am!”

    Me: ”Oh, but I don’t have that much money on my credit card. Well, can you just send me the information first to see what it looks like?”

    Caller: ”We absolutely need a deposit as a proof that you are willing to get your price. It will be redeposited to your account right after the trip.”

    Me: ”Yeah, but I don’t have a $500 on my credit card, and I don’t have that much money in my current account!”

    Caller: ”Oh, that’s a problem. Well, can you at least transfer $300?’

    Me: ”Nope. Not even close.”

    Caller: ”We could accept a $200 deposit. Just for you, ma’am, because you’ve been a awesome customer!”

    Me: ”Nah. I don’t even have a credit card first of all. I’m a poor college student. No money here, sorry.”

    Caller: *clearly angry* ”WELL, your life seems f****** miserable!” *click*

    Try Walking A Mile In Her Shoes

    | MI, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (Due to some serious back problems, I need to wear arch supports in my shoes. I found out that the shoe inserts don’t fit properly in every type of shoe, so whenever I try on shoes, I put the arch supporters in the new ones before I try them on. An employee approaches as I’m putting my supports back in my own shoes.)

    Employee: “Ma’am! What are you doing?!”

    Me: “Checking to see if my arch supports fit into these shoes.”

    Employee: “You can’t do that!”

    Me: “I’ve done it before. Why not this time?”

    Employee: “You’re stealing shoe inserts!”

    Me: “No, I’m seeing if my shoe inserts fit these shoes.”

    Employee: *over walkie-talkie* “I NEED A MANAGER! NOW! WOMEN’S WINTER BOOTS!”

    Manager: “What’s the problem?”

    Me: “She’s accusing me of stealing shoe inserts! They’re mine! I was testing to see if they fit in these boots.”

    Employee: “Do you have proof that you didn’t just steal them?”

    Me: “I doubt you even sell this brand!”

    Manager: “Let me see them.” *examines them*

    Me: “I know for a fact you don’t sell these.”

    Employee: “How would you know?”

    Me: “They’re prescription shoe inserts! I have severe back problems. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be taking my business elsewhere!”

    Manager: “I’m so sorry about this. Please don’t leave. I’m sure we can find you some shoes that work.”

    (The manager ended up finding me some new boots and gave them to me 75 percent off. I haven’t gone back since, though.)

    Not An Interview You Want To Pass(word)

    | Pleasant Hill, CA, USA | Bosses & Owners, Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal, Job Seekers, Technology, Top

    (I’ve been called in for an interview at a store. Things seem to be going well until…)

    Interviewer: “All right, so all I need is your Facebook password.”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Interviewer: “I need your Facebook password. We do this as part of a check to make sure you’re not using social media for criminal activities.”

    Me: “I think I’m going to pass. Thank you for the opportunity, but this job isn’t for me.”

    Interviewer: “What’s the problem?! Do you have something to hide?”

    Me: “Not at all. It’s just that if I mention a disability, political stance, or religion that I may have on Facebook, and you saw that, it would be the same as asking me and that’s illegal.”

    Interviewer: “Uh…”

    Me: “Also, giving out my password to my Facebook account, or even just letting you access my account at ALL is a violation of Facebook policy. If I violate Facebook’s policy just to make you happy, how could you trust me to not violate [Company]’s policies?”

    Interviewer: “Er…”

    Me: “As I said, thank you for the opportunity, but this company isn’t the right company for me.”

    (Interestingly enough, asking for Facebook passwords or access to Facebook accounts became illegal in several states in January of 2013 shortly after it was reported on by several news companies.)


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