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    Category: Employees

    We’re In Flori-duh!

    , | MI, USA | Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive, Technology

    Telemarketer: “We’re calling to make sure that you’re receiving the best value for your money.”

    Me: “Thanks, but someone already called last week. We put our Internet service on hold until we return from Florida in the spring, and we don’t have cable TV. So, I don’t want you to waste your time.”

    Telemarketer: “Uh, okay, well, who is your cable provider?”

    Me: “[Your Company] is our provider, but like I said, we don’t have cable TV. We only have your Internet service, and that is on hold until spring.”

    Telemarketer: “Well, we just want to make sure that you’re receiving the best value for your money—”

    Me: “Yes, I know, but like I said, we’re in a whole ‘nother state; we’re not in our house so obviously we don’t want cable right now. Maybe in the future.”

    Telemarketer: “How many TVs do you have in your home?”

    Me: *sighing inwardly* “One.”

    Telemarketer: “Is it high definition?”

    Me: “Yes, but as I mentioned, we don’t want cable TV so you’re wasting your time.”

    Telemarketer: “Uh, okay, well, we just want to make sure—”

    Me: “Thanks, but no thanks. Goodbye!”

    Lutherans Have Changed Religion

    | GA, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Religion, Theme Of The Month

    (Back in the 1990s I was at the hospital registering for the upcoming birth of my baby. The nurse was asking me questions and completing a form on the computer. I’m not native to the USA.)

    Nurse: “Religion?”

    Me: “Pagan.”

    Nurse: “…What?”

    Me: “Pagan.”

    Nurse: “Pay what?”

    Me: “P-A-G-A-N, Pagan.”

    Nurse: “I don’t have that on my list. Is it like Lutheran?”

    Me: “No, not at all.”

    Nurse: “So, what’s your religion?”

    Me: “Pagan.”

    Nurse: “I don’t have that. What do you want me to list your religion as?”

    Me: “Pagan. Or whatever you like. ”

    Nurse: “So… Lutheran?”

    Me: *sighs* “Whatever…”

    Birthing New Stupid

    | RI, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid

    (I’ve recently gotten married and I took my husband’s name. I’m at the bank to update my name on my bank account. The teller goes through the standard questions, verifying my name and new address and then:)

    Teller: “And is your date of birth still the same?”

    (I just chuckle thinking she’s joking, until I notice she’s still staring expectantly at me.)

    Me: “Umm, yes, that hasn’t changed.”

    Price Checked Out

    | England, UK | Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (I’m shopping with my young daughter in a high street shop; they are famous for having branded items for cheap, often last season or end of line goods.)

    Me: “Excuse me; do you know how much this is?”

    Floor Staff: “Does it not have a price on it?”

    Me: *I pause, thinking about all the sarcastic comments I could make* “No, it doesn’t.”

    Floor Staff: “Okay, well, if you take it downstairs you can get the customer services to price it.”

    (I look from the large box, to the push chair back to the large box.)

    Me: “I’m going to struggle on my own. Is there anyone that can help me?”

    Floor Staff: “Sorry.”

    (Undeterred, I thank her and manage to get in the lift, wait in line, and see customer services.)

    Me: “Can I get a price on this, please?”

    Customer Services: “Sure!”

    (She looks it over, scans the barcode, scans it again, then calls a manager.)

    Customer Services: “Sorry, it is not on the system. My manager said you can have it for £100.”

    Me: “What? That must be at least twice as expensive as the main dealer. No, thanks.”

    Customer Services: “Oh, okay then.” *suddenly sour* “Can you put it back where you got it from, then?”

    (Speechless, I turned and left.)

    An Order That’s All Gravy

    , | AB, Canada | Employees, Food & Drink, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (Poutine is a very popular fast food item in Canada. It’s French fries covered in gravy and cheese curds. This happened at a world-famous fast food chain shortly after they added poutine to their menu.)

    Me: “Oh, and could I get gravy on my French fries?”

    Clerk: “We don’t sell French fries with gravy.”

    Me: “Uh… could I get poutine without the cheese?”

    Clerk: “No problem!”


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