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    Category: Employees

    Someone Needs Some Brain Surgery

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Employees, Health & Body, Ignoring/Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (I had a morning appointment where the doctor scheduled a surgery for a month later. At the time, he requested that I make my post-op appointment on my way out, so that I would be on his schedule and get the time I wanted. Later in the day, I noticed that the receptionist scheduled the appointment for two weeks PRIOR to my surgery, so I called in.)

    Receptionist: “[Doctor]’s office. How can I help you?”

    Me: “Hi! I was in earlier today and [Doctor] recommended a surgery. We’ve scheduled that for date], and he asked that I also schedule my post-op for two weeks after [date]. But, I just checked my appointment card, and you’ve scheduled me for two weeks BEFORE my surgery.”

    Receptionist: “Well, ma’am, I see here that you are scheduled for a post-op appointment on [date]. That is two weeks after your surgery.”

    Me: “No, I’m sorry, but it’s two weeks BEFORE. My surgery is [date next month].”

    Receptionist: “No, I have you here for surgery today. You had surgery this morning.”

    Me: “No, I didn’t. I think I would remember a major surgery requiring general anesthesia…”

    Receptionist: “My records say you had surgery today.”

    Me: “Well, your records are wrong. Can you please update them and reschedule my post-op appointment to [date in six weeks].”

    Receptionist: “No, your records say your surgery was today, so your post-op must be in two weeks.”

    Me: “Can I talk to the nurse?”

    Has No Problem With Their Drinking Problem

    | London, England, UK | Employees, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (My friend is leaving to join the army and he and I both go out for a couple leaving drinks. My friend offers to buy the first round.)

    Friend: “Hiya, can I get… two ‘Irish Car-bombs,’ please.”

    (Those who don’t know what this is, it’s a half pint of Guinness served with a shot of Baileys with Jameson whiskey floated on top. The shot is dropped into the pint and then the whole thing has to be thrown back at once before the baileys curdles in the Guinness.)

    Me: “That’s it. I’m done. I hate Irish Car-bombs. LIKE, REALLY HATE THEM!”

    Friend: “Nope, you need to stay. Just this one and then were on normal drinks.”

    Me: “Fine. Let’s just get it over with.”

    (The girl behind the bar at this point has been silent.)

    Bar Girl #1: “Sorry, but what is an Irish Car bomb?”

    (My friend proceeded to explain the whole concoction in explicit detail and even help her float the whiskey on the shots. At this point a small crowd of bar staff has gathered to watch the show.)

    Me: “Dude… what have you done?! We have an audience now!”

    (At this point I think I’m safe, since I recognise the manager walking along the bar I’m hoping he will tell his staff to get back to work.)

    Manager: “What are we watching?”

    Me: “S***!”

    (As I prepare to drop the shot into the Guinness a cute girl at the bar chips in.)

    Bar Girl #2: “Good luck, sir.”

    (Never before has man been under such pressure to not screw up drinking. I drop the shot and neck the drink in what I consider record time only for more or less the whole bar to erupt into applause, young drinkers and older ones alike applauding. The guy at the bar pipes up.)

    Bar Guy: “Same again, lads?”

    Defying Egg-spectations

    | Green Bay, WI, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre/Silly, Employees, Holidays

    (I stop at the grocery store on Thanksgiving morning to get the last few things for dinner.)

    Clerk: “Is that it?”

    Me: “Yes, thank you.”

    Clerk: “Great. Happy Easter!”

    Me: “Had enough of saying ‘Happy Thanksgiving,’ huh?”

    Telemarketers Have Breached The Wall

    | England, UK | Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (My dad has just received a phone call from a telemarketer.)

    Caller: “Do you require cavity wall insulation?”

    Dad: “No, I don’t.”

    Caller: “But wall cavities can make your house very cold and—”

    Dad: “My walls don’t have cavities. I don’t need cavity wall insulation.”

    Caller: “But…”

    Dad: “I’ll tell you what. If I find any cavities in my walls, I promise I’ll fill them with gold and give you the leftovers.” *click*

    An Ongoing Scan-dal

    | Victoria, BC, Canada | Bosses & Owners, Employees, Extra Stupid

    (This happened a few years ago when I was shopping in a department store. I go to buy a sweater that has the price clearly marked on it. I take it to the till but it does not scan when the cashier scans it.)

    Cashier: “This item is not scanning; let me call someone to do a price check.”

    Me: “The price is right on the tag here. It says [price].”

    Cashier: “Sorry, but we need to scan it in order to make the price go through the till.”

    (Another employee comes over and I explain what’s going on.)

    Employee #2: “Unfortunately we can’t sell you the item if it doesn’t scan. Can you come back tomorrow after we get it into our system?”

    (I am a little puzzled as to why this is necessary, but decide to agree with them and come back the next day. Sure enough, I come back the very next day to buy it, and again it doesn’t scan.)

    Cashier: “I need a price check on this item!”

    Me: “Seriously? I came here to buy this exact same item last night, and I was told to come back today because the item wasn’t scanning and you needed a day to put in in your system!”

    Cashier: “Sorry, but we can’t sell the item if it’s not scanning.”

    Me: “Can you get a manager, please?”

    (A manager comes over and I explain the situation to her.)

    Manager: “Unfortunately we can’t sell you the item if it doesn’t scan. Can you come back another day so we can get it in our system?”

    Me: “Okay, let me get this straight… You have this item on your sales floor to sell, with the price RIGHT ON THE TAG, and you’re telling me you can’t sell it to me because it doesn’t scan? Not to mention I was told last night to come back again so you could get it in your system? May I ask why this item is even on your sales floor to be sold if people aren’t even able to buy it?”

    (At that moment, the till over from me called for a price check on an item… Guess what that person was buying?)


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