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  • Good To Sell Until Hell Freezes Over
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  • Category: Employees

    Dropped The Ball On That One

    | Newton, MA, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Rude & Risque, Theme Of The Month

    (I frequented a store and have had a few run-ins with a strange male employee. He speaks in a monotone and wears a plastic glove on only one hand. I’m buying two chocolate eggs and some sleeping medicine.)

    Me: *puts items on counter and one egg rolls quickly toward the cashier* “Oh, no!”

    Cashier: *catches the egg from falling* “Don’t worry. It didn’t fall on the floor.”

    Me: “Awesome!”

    Cashier: “And it didn’t hit my balls either.”

    (I am speechless and cannot make eye contact. After the rest of the transaction is completed, I go to leave.)

    Cashier: “Goodbye… for now.”

    Totally Wackopedia

    | Australia | Employees, Extra Stupid, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (I am pushing my two-year-old daughter around the stalls at our annual agricultural show. One of the stalls is selling encyclopedia sets. As I am passing, a salesman gets in front of me.)

    Salesman: “Excuse me. Would you be interested in our encyclopedias?”

    Me: “No, thank you.”

    Salesman: “I see you have a child. It would be an asset to their education.”

    Me: “Yes, I agree, but I’ll wait until she’s actually old enough to need a set.”

    Salesman: “Don’t worry about that. Everything she will ever need is in this set. You might as well get it now for her because it will still be up to date when she’s older. There won’t be any changes in it.”

    Me: “So you are telling me that everything has been discovered? That there will be no new discoveries over the next 10 years or ever?”

    Salesman: “Yes, that is right.There’s nothing left to be discovered.”

    Me: “Nothing will ever change?”

    Salesman: “That’s right. If you just come over here I’ll sign you up and take your details for payment.”

    Me: “I don’t think so. Goodbye.”

    Radio Inactive, Part 2

    | Detroit, MI, USA | Employees, Family & Kids, Health & Body

    (I’m at the hospital about to have major surgery to correct a birth defect. I’ve been getting x-rays quite a bit over the previous few months and am asked the same questions every time.)

    Tech: “Is there any chance that you could be pregnant?”

    Me: “No. Look, I realize you have to ask but I’m 13 years old and have my mother sitting right next to me. If there was a chance, do you REALLY think I would tell the truth?”

    Tech: “…”

    Mom: *almost falling over laughing*

    Related:
    Radio Inactive

    Putting The Relation Into Relationship, Part 5

    | London, England, UK | Employees, Family & Kids, Rude & Risque, Theme Of The Month

    (I am at my dentist of 10 years having a crown put in. Since the dentist is quite far from home my sister drives me and sits in the waiting room whilst I’m having my crown put in. This conversation happens with the dentist’s assistant.)

    Assistant: “So, is that your girlfriend outside waiting for you?”

    Me: “No, that’s my sister…”

    Assistant: “Oh… you look good together. You should date!”

    (Neither of us could make eye contact with the assistant after that.)

    Related:
    From NotAlwaysRomantic:
    Putting The Relation Into Relationship, Part 4
    Putting The Relation Into Relationship, Part 3
    Putting The Relation Into Relationship, Part 2

    The Poster Child For Creepiness

    | Erie, PA, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre/Silly, Employees, Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month

    (My husband and I are shopping at a large store where you can buy things in bulk. The guy cashing us out notices the lady in line behind me starting to unload her cart. She only has a few items, all which are heavier, and a small child.)

    Cashier: “Ma’am, you can just leave everything in the cart.”

    Me: “Even the child?”

    Cashier: *in a low growl* “ESPECIALLY the child.”

    (I looked at him stunned, as I was just getting ready to say that, in a similar manner. I was laughing all of the way to the car. He totally made my day!)


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