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    Category: Employees

    The Icing On The Cake Is The Icing On The Cake

    | Vancouver, BC, Canada | Employees, Food & Drink, Language & Words, Top

    (My mom is at the bakery buying a cake for a special occasion.)

    Employee: “Here’s your cake. Would you like anything written on it?”

    Mom: “Well, yes, but I was wondering if I can do it myself?”

    Employee: “Oh, no, that’s quite all right. I can do it myself.”

    Mom: “No, this is something only I can write. I don’t think you can do it.”

    Employee: “Rest assured, ma’am, I am very confident in my ability to write with icing. I’ve worked here for over 15 years, and I’ve gotten quite good at it.”

    Mom: “Look, I’m pretty sure you’re really good at it, but please humour me just this once. If you can just give me a piping bag and some icing, I’ll do it myself and be on my way.”

    Employee: “Okay, ma’am, but only on the condition that you pay for the cake even if the writing doesn’t turn out to your liking.”

    Mom: “Fine by me.”

    (The employee hands a piping bag full of chocolate icing to my mom. She takes the piping bag, and starts masterfully writing on a 10-inch cake, in KOREAN. She writes small enough to put at least three sentences on such a small space. The employee just looks at this spectacle, dumbfounded.)

    Employee: “Okay. You’re right, and I’m wrong. That’ll teach me for doubting a customer.”

    Making A Bald Assumption

    | Lancashire, England, UK | At The Checkout, Employees, Family & Kids

    (I’m the cashier in the story. A couple with a pushchair come to my till with baby clothes. It’s been a long morning and I’m wearing down a little and miss a few details. The baby in the pram has a head of red hair and a bright smile.)

    Me: “Aww, that’s a bonny baby.”

    Father: *chuckles* “Yeah, she doesn’t take anything after me.”

    Me: “I don’t know. She has your hair.”

    Mother: *bursts into giggles*

    (Turned out, whilst I noticed he had a bushy red beard, he was actually bald. No wonder he didn’t look too amused!)

    Inn-describably Bad

    | Iowa City, IA, USA | Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful, Tourists & Travel

    (I book and pay for a hotel room for myself and three friends. Unfortunately we hit bad traffic on the way there and don’t arrive at the hotel until late. As there were four of us, I had reserved two queen-size beds and since we don’t smoke, asked for a non-smoking room.)

    Desk Clerk: “I’m sorry. We didn’t think you were coming, so we gave your room away and we don’t have any more non-smoking rooms left.”

    Me: “Whatever. We’re tired and it’s the middle of the night. A smoking room will have to do, I guess.”

    (The desk clerk gives us the keys and we go to the room. We try to get in, but the keys don’t seem to be working. Then the door opens and there’s someone standing there.)

    Other Customer: “Can I help you?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, the desk clerk gave us keys to this room and told us we were staying here.”

    Other Customer: “They gave you a key to an already occupied room?”

    Me: “Apparently so.”

    Other Customer: “Wow…”

    Me: “Yep, time to go talk to them again.”

    (I go to the check in desk.)

    Desk Clerk: “Hey, is everything okay with your room?”

    Me: “Not exactly. Someone is already in that room. Luckily they had the deadbolt on or that could have made for a more awkward night.”

    Desk Clerk: “Oh! There isn’t supposed to be anyone in that room and that was the last queen sized room. All we have left is a smoking king size room.”

    Me: “Whatever. We just need to sleep.”

    (The desk clerk gives me new keys and tells me the room number. We go in and set up our air mattress and go to put away leftovers from our dinner. Upon opening the fridge, it is warm (due to being unplugged) and smells awful as it has some rotting lunch meat in it. I turn to my friends.)

    Me: “We are never staying in this hotel ever again.”

    Giving Dry Humor A Dry Run

    | Gascoyne, WA, Australia | Employees, Language & Words, Tourists & Travel

    (I work in a remote roadhouse. After many years of the same questions I get a bit tired of them so I have a little fun.)

    Customer: “Do you have a shower?”

    Me: “Yeah, about once a day. Twice if it’s hot.”

    Customer: “Where are your toilets?”

    Me: “If you go out that door you can go anywhere in the courtyard. All of the plants need to be watered.”

    (Everyone usually laughed. They hadn’t seen people on over 100 km so a sense of humor was appreciated, no matter how dry.)

    Good Things Come In Open Packages

    | FL, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Employees, Money

    (I’m hopping into a store to get one thing. I find what I need. It’s the last one they have, but the package is opened and looks badly damaged. Since it’s open, however, I’m able to see that everything that’s supposed to be there is and the product itself is fine. I decide to buy it anyway.)

    Me: “Just this today, thanks.”

    Cashier: “Of course.”

    (The cashier goes to scan the barcode, but then just stares at the package for a good thirty seconds, even though the barcode is still there.)

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. I just found it like that, and I didn’t see any more. But I figured it was still okay to buy.”

    Cashier: “You… want to buy this?”

    Me: *confused* “Yes… please?”

    Cashier: “You want to buy this at full price?”

    Me: *laughs* “Unless it’s on sale, but I don’t think it is. It’s the last one, and since it was open when I found it, I made sure everything was accounted for. I’ll just take this today, thanks.”

    Cashier: “Sorry about that, ma’am. I’m just shocked you didn’t demand a discount.”

    Me: “Why would I? The product itself is fine, and I’m not going to need the packaging once I get home.”

    Cashier: “You’d be surprised at how crazy some people are.”

    (I now seriously don’t doubt that a bit!)

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