(This happened a few years ago. My aunt’s house caught fire, and she lost literally everything. The shell of the house mostly survived but everything inside the house was destroyed. Among her difficult tasks, she called the cable company to cancel her account.)

Aunt: “My home burned down and I’m going to be moving away. I need to terminate my cable account.”

Representative: “You’ll need to return the cable box in order to close your account.”

Aunt: “The box was destroyed in the fire, just like everything else in the house.”

Representative: “We can’t terminate your account unless you return the box.”

Aunt: “I’m not sure what part of ‘my house burned down’ you’re not understanding. The box is gone. The fire originated in the part of the living room where the television was, so it was all destroyed.”

Representative: “It makes no difference. Unless you give us back the cable box, your account will remain open and you will continue to be charged for services.”

Aunt: “Well, if you can find it, you can have it!”

Related:
Where There’s Smoke, There’s Getting Fired

(I am an IT professional. While I make a very good living, the dress code at work is pretty casual, and I dress VERY casually. Asa female, I’ve found that the men I work with and help take me a little more seriously if I’m a bit frumpy. Still, as a well-paid woman into girly things, I own expensive accessories. I stop into a local sporting goods store after work and am looking at some expensive gloves.)

Employee: “Hi, can I help you with anything today?”

Me: “No thanks, I think I know what I’m looking for. I’ll let you know if I need anything.”

Employee: “We have some cheaper gloves over here.”

Me: “Really, I researched what I was looking for online. I need something thin with moisture control. I’m pretty sure these are what I’m looking for  I’ll let you know if I have any questions.”

Employee: “Those are pretty expensive. If you just need some gloves, we have much cheaper options over this way.”

Me: “I don’t just need gloves; I need lightweight gear for running in cold temperatures. Again, I researched what I need online: gloves, pants, tops, socks, and other items. I’ll let you know if I have any questions.”

Employee: *into her headset* “Can we get security over to the glove display near the register?”

Me: “…Did you just call security on me? Why would you do that? I’ve been nothing but polite to you, and am just trying to shop.”

Employee: “You look like a hobo, and you OBVIOUSLY don’t work out. You’re just trying to steal stuff from us.”

(At this point, the manager shows up, presumably as backup for Employee #1.)

Manager: “Hey, I heard you needed some help. What can I help you with?”

Me: “Nothing. I am trying to shop for winter running gear, and your little associate here decided that I am a ‘ hobo’ who is trying to steal from you. I know what I need, and so far, I have been perfectly able to find it on my own  While I told her, twice, that I would let her know if I needed help, she decided I was a threat worthy of calling security, and, on top of that, insulted me. I’m leaving now—WITH NO STOLEN MERCHANDISE—and you can explain to her why you lost a sale that would have been a couple hundred dollars.”

(As I’m saying this, the manager looks me over and realizes, despite my frumpy appearance, some of the accessories I’m wearing are clearly not ‘hobo’-like in nature.)

Manager: *to me* “I am so incredibly sorry. Please don’t leave over this misunderstanding.” *to the employee* “You see her bag? If you knew ANYTHING, you would know that this purse cost at least $500. The earrings she is wearing are clearly real diamonds, and she’s wearing shoes that cost at least $150. Even if all that were not obvious, you have no right to call our customers hobos or insult them in any other way.  Go away and let her shop in peace.”

Employee: *slinks away* “Knock offs!”

(Thankfully, the manager found everything on my list, and I scored a very nice discount for my hassle!)

(I’m acutely sensitive to bright light. So sensitive in fact, that when it snows I’m about an inch from blind and cannot go out during the day by myself. I need groceries to make dinner, so a friend picks me up and takes me to the grocery story. I’m wearing sunglasses while standing alone next to my shopping cart when this happens.)

Employee: “Hey! You can’t wear those glasses in the store! Take them off right now!”

Me: “Actually, there is no law in this state that says I cannot wear these anywhere I please. So no, I will not.”

Employee: “I SAID TAKE THEM OFF NOW!”

Me: *calmly* “No.”

Employee: *stamps his feet* “Take them off!”

Manager: “What’s the problem here?”

Employee: “She won’t take off her glasses!”

Me: “I already explained that there is no law in this state that allows your store to force me to remove these glasses. ”

Manager: “Well, you’ll just have to take them off, then.”

Me: “I already told your employee, no. I will not.”

Manager: “Be reasonable, ma’am. Just take them off.”

Me: “I’m not being unreasonable. All I’m doing is wearing a pair of custom tinted glasses that I need for a medical condition and existing in a store. You’re the ones who’re bothering me.”

Manager: “Oh! Well, why didn’t you say so?!”

Me: “I shouldn’t have to. You have no right to tell your customers what they can and cannot wear so long as they aren’t wearing anything obscene. There is nothing obscene about a pair of darkly tinted glasses. ”

Employee: “This isn’t fair! She’s only trying to make me look bad!”

(At this moment, my friend comes back.)

My Friend: “Is everything okay?”

Me: “Well, I’m trying to think of how I’m going to pick out the ingredients I need for diner without being able to see them, but otherwise fine.” *laughs*

(The employee proceeds to have a temper tantrum while my friend leads me away. We later discovered that he’d been fired.)

(My friend enters a well-known store that sells greeting cards and collectibles. He’s a Wizard of Oz fan and about fifteen years old.)

My Friend: “Do you have any new Oz stuff?”

Employee: “Yes, it’s over this way.”

(She shows him the shelf where the new merchandise is displayed.)

My Friend: “Tha—”

Employee: “So, who is this for? Your sister?”

My Friend: “No, it’s for me. I collect Wizard of Oz stuff. It’s always been a hobby of mine and I really love the movie.”

Employee: *laughs*

My Friend: “What’s so funny?”

Employee: “You’re a boy and you collect Oz?”

My Friend: “Yes, I love collecting and there is nothing wrong with a boy collecting Oz.”

(The employee walks away, rolling her eyes as my friend makes his selection. He goes to check out, the same employee is at the register.)

Employee: *rudely* “Is that all, or do you want more Oz stuff?”

My Friend: “You know, you’re really being rude.”

Employee: *rings him up* “Please don’t come back to this store.”

(My friend is in awe at this. He later reports the incident to management; the employee denied it, but thankfully the manager believed him.)

(I work at an animal shelter and I have my own personal catch/restraint-pole which I keep in my car for use at work and for emergencies. I stop by a bookstore immediately after work, still in my clearly marked uniform. I’m about to leave when an employee forcefully grabs me by the shoulder and blocks the door, preventing me from leaving.)

Employee: “You can’t go out there! There’s a vicious dog attacking people!”

(I look out the glass door and see a large chow mix in the parking lot aggressively trying to get at two teens; they’re approximately 13 years old and trapped on the roof of a pick-up truck. The dog seems to be getting closer to reaching them with each jump, and it would be several minutes before help would arrive, so I decide I have to do something.)

Me: “Hey, let me out so I can get to my car, I think I can help.”

Employee: “ARE YOU F***ING NUTS?!? You’ll get bitten and probably sue the place!”

Me: “Sir, I do this for a living.” *points at uniform* “I think I can handle this. If I get bitten, it’s my fault alone. Please just call [animal control number] right now, and tell them to send a truck ASAP.”

(As I walk out the door, the employee grabs me again.)

Employee: “You’re out of your mind! I hope it does bite you! Are you really that stupid?!”

(I actually have to struggle with the employee to get out, but manage to get free. As I approach the dog, I notice that it’s too focused on getting the teens to notice me. I sneak to my car, and from there I am able to drive up and park alongside the pickup truck, maneuver the catch-pole through my car window and, after several attempts, am able to catch the dog. An animal control officer arrives shortly, and I hand the dog over to them. I go back inside to grab the purchases I had left on the counter and find the two teens, the employee, and other bystanders are talking near the door.)

Teens: *hugs me* “Thank you so much! If you weren’t here, I think that dog would’ve killed us for sure!”

Employee: *to me* “Are you out of your mind? That’s the stupidest thing I think I’ve ever seen someone do! Risking your life for no good reason. I bet if you would’ve gotten attacked, you would’ve said it was our fault and try to sue the store for millions too!”

(The employee the shook his head and walked off like I was the one causing the problems. The other customers were equally stunned with his reaction!)