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    Category: Employees

    Cheaper Than The Sum Of The Sum

    | KS, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Math & Science

    (The local pizza chain in a small college town has a 10% discount for college students and employees. It was one of the places we’d often go to for lunch. Normally we’d each pay for our own meal, but on this day my coworker asks if I could cover for him since he forgot his wallet.)

    Me: “I had the pizza buffet and a drink, and I’m also paying for [Coworker]‘s buffet and drink. We work at the college and should get the 10% discount.”

    Cashier: “Okay, so the it’s two buffets and two drinks, and each of you gets a 10% discount, so that’s 20% total discount. Your total is [amount].”

    Coworker: “Um…”

    Me: “Wait, that’s not how it works. The discount is only 10%.”

    Cashier: “Yes. You each get 10% off, so that’s 20% total. You owe [amount].”

    (Not knowing how to argue with that logic, I paid, and on the way out the door joked with my coworker.)

    Me: “We need to bring the entire department out and maybe some others. If we got 10 people, everyone’s meal would be free! Would they even pay us if we brought 11 or more?”

    Doesn’t Have This In The Bag

    | NY, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Food & Drink, Ignoring/Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (Typically when I get groceries I use the self-checkout lanes, because the baggers here are notoriously awful. However, I had a few coupons today and the self-check always has issues processing coupons, so I go to the regular checkout.)

    Me: “Oh, and, I don’t mean to be rude but, can you please make sure the bread goes in a separate bag?”

    Cashier: “I know how to do my job!”

    Me: “I’m not saying you don’t! I’m just a bit paranoid from having it crushed a few times.”

    Cashier: *looks offended* “Well, I’m not an idiot!”

    (The cashier then proceeds to not only shove the loaf of down into the bag in such a way that it’s almost folded over in half, he then DROPS a 2-liter of soda on top of it, and flips the bag over a few times to ‘tie it off.’)

    Cashier: “Here you go.”

    Me: “Did you do that on purpose?”

    Cashier: “What are you talking about?”

    (I still don’t know whether he was just faking innocence or if he really didn’t realize he ruined two items simultaneously. Thankfully, the customer service desk let me replace the smashed-to-pieces bread, and the explosion-waiting-to-happen soda.)

    This Customer Is A Godsend

    | PA, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Language & Words, Religion

    (I’m at a convenience store. When I get to the register, I note the cashier’s name tag says ‘Saraswati.’ I’m slightly confused, because I understand the name’s history, but the cashier doesn’t appear to be of Indian ethnicity. Nonetheless…)

    Me: “Hello, Goddess.”

    Cashier: *stops scanning items and looks at me haltingly* “Why did you call me ‘Goddess’?”

    Me: “Well, your nametag… Isn’t that the name of a Hindu Goddess?”

    Cashier: “You’re the ONLY person who’s ever known that!”

    Me: “Heh. It does confuse me a little. You don’t really look Indian. One of your parents..?”

    Cashier: “No. I’m not Hindu. My parents just named me after the Goddess for some reason. I’m still just baffled. Lots of people have asked about my unusual name, but you’re the only one who’s ever known about it without an explanation!”

    Me: “I’m flattered. Take care, Goddess.”

    Cashier: “You, too!”

    Dentists Need To Cut Their Teeth

    | TX, USA | Employees, Family & Kids, Health & Body

    (My son is 14 months old. We currently live in an area that doesn’t place much emphasis on dental hygiene, so it’s common for people of all ages to be missing a lot of teeth.)

    Dentist: “Okay, I see that he was in here when he was ten months and he had eight teeth. Has he had any accidents or falls that’s affected his teeth? Does he have any new teeth?”

    Me: *laughs* “Oh, yeah. He’s pretty much doubled his teeth since last time. But there’s been no issue with falling. We ensure that his teeth are well taken care of.”

    (The dentist puts toothpaste on a toothbrush which causes my son to suddenly lean forward on my lap and scream.)

    Son: “Teeth!”

    Dentist: *visibly shaken* “He, uh, speaks?”

    Me: “He’s knows a few words, yes.”

    (My son at this point is alternating between screaming “teeth!” and opening his mouth wide. The dentist takes one look at my son’s 16 teeth and visibly pales.)

    Dentist: “Good God! Look at those teeth! He has so many teeth!” *he checks my son’s chart again* “14 months?! How many teeth does he have?!”

    Me: “16. Like I said, he doubled them. Don’t worry. He knows that biting is strictly prohibited.”

    (After much coaxing I finally get the dentist to put the toothbrush in my son’s mouth. About 15 seconds into it my son clamps down around the tooth brush which causes the dentist to immediately snatch his hand back.)

    Dentist: *warily eyeing my child* “He… uh… he can keep that. I’ll just, uh, see you in three months.”

    (We found another dentist.)

    On The Receiving End Of The Weekend

    | OH, USA | Employees, Language & Words

    (It’s a Friday afternoon, near the end of my day. I often use the phrase, ‘If I don’t see you, have a great weekend.’ In this case, I got a bit confused and had to apologize later.)

    Sales Contact: “Have a nice weekend!”

    Me: “If I don’t see you, I will!

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