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    Category: Employees

    The Sweet Taste Of Death

    | SC, USA | Employees, Food & Drink, Health & Body, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (My friend and I decide to stop at a popular local coffee shop known for their smoothies. My friend is waiting outside with our dogs.)

    Me: “I’d like a large mango smoothie and a medium banana smoothie. Could you also please make sure the banana doesn’t touch any peanut products? My friend is allergic.”

    Barista #1: “Certainly. It will be ready shortly.”

    (Evidently the entire neighborhood had the same idea we did, so there’s a small wait for frozen drinks. While the baristas are busy making and taking orders, I quick pop outside to ask my friend something and check on my dog. By the time I come back in, our drinks are already made, but I notice something off about the color of my friend’s smoothie and decide to taste it before I bring it to him.)

    Me: “Um, ma’am, this is a peanut butter banana smoothie. I asked for just banana because my friend is allergic. If he drank this, it would kill him.”

    (The barista immediately goes pale and some of the chatter in the shop dies down. She immediately turns to one of her two coworkers, who evidently was the one who made the smoothies.)

    Barista #1: “Did you put peanut butter in the banana smoothie?!”

    Barista #2: “Yeah. They taste better that way. The regular banana ones are kind of bland.”

    Barista #3: “You don’t do something like that! He’s allergic! He could have died!”

    Barista #2: “Oh. Well, how was I supposed to know that?”

    Barista #1: “She told us! I wrote it down on the slip so you knew! Didn’t you bother reading it before you made the drinks?!”

    Barista #2: “How do you know she isn’t lying, though?”

    Me: “Do you really want to chance that I might be lying about my friend having a life-threatening peanut allergy by giving him peanut butter because you think it tastes better?”

    (The woman who took my order apologizes and remakes the smoothie personally, this time being careful to avoid any cross-contamination, and not only refunds the cost of it but also gives us a voucher for a free drink and cookie, and some water for our dogs. I explain to my friend what happened while we’re walking home.)

    Friend: “Huh…she’s right though. It does taste a little bland. Maybe I should have taken the one with death in it instead.”

    A Problem With The Order Before It’s Ordered

    | Tulsa, OK, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Employees, Food & Drink

    (I have just moved into a small apartment that used to be maid`s quarters in a posh part of town. I call the nearest pizza joint and ask if they deliver to my address. When the worker hears my address, he immediately gives the phone to the manager.)

    Manager: *sarcastic* “So you want a pizza for delivery?”

    Me: *confused at the sarcasm* “Yes…”

    Manager: “You’re not going to give us any problems?”

    Me: “No? Look, if I’m outside of your delivery area…”

    Manager: “No, no, we will deliver it. I just don’t want any problems.”

    (I hung up, still quite confused. It was only my second or third day in town. Finally there was a knock at the door. When I opened it, you could have knocked the delivery boy over with a feather, he looked so stunned. I paid and tipped him, and he left, still flustered. A while later, the manager called to apologize profusely.  It turned out my new address was flagged in the system because the previous tenant would order pizza then send them back or refuse to pay for them! The delivery boy had expected her to open the door and was flummoxed to see me instead!)

    The Situation Isn’t Fluid

    | KY, USA | Employees, Money, Technology

    (My husband and I visit a town in Kentucky quite frequently, though we live about three hours away. We decide to buy a small house to stay in when we come to the town. We had only been in the house once, for a two day period.)

    Worker: “Good day, ma’am. How can I help you?

    Me: “I’m calling about my water bill. I think there is a mistake with the meter.”

    Worker: “Ma’am, all meters in your area were replaced recently. There is surely no problem at all.”

    Me: “Actually, that is one thing I wanted to mention. The problem didn’t start until after the meter was replaced. Anyway, it must be malfunctioning. This reading is much too high.”

    Worker: *already growing impatient* “Ma’am, I can swear that our meters are in perfect working order. There is no way that your reading is too high.”

    Me: “My husband and I couldn’t have possibly used as much water as this reading says we did. We’ve only been in that house for two days this month.”

    Worker: “Ma’am, I’m sure you’re mistaken. You must have just used more water than you usually do.”

    Me: “So you mean to tell me that four fifteen minute showers and running the dishwasher once used 60,000 gallons of water?”

    Worker: “…We’ll have someone out this Friday sometime between two and four.” *hangs up quickly*

    (No one showed up that Friday. They have yet to fix the meter.)

    Not Getting To The Meat Of The Problem, Part 5

    , | ON, Canada | Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (My friend and I are babysitting our friend’s five-year-old son so that she can attend a Christmas party for her work. We decide, since he is behaving well, to order pizza for dinner while we watch his ‘Thomas the Tank Engine’ movies. I call and am placing the order:)

    Friend’s Son: “Can I tell the lady what I would like on my pizza?”

    Me: “Sure. Speak clearly and use your manners.”

    Friend’s Son: “Okay!” *into the phone* “Pepperoni on my pizza, please!”

    (I take the phone back and he runs to play with his trains.)

    Me: “Okay, on the second pizza I would like…” *I prattle off a list of vegetables, as I am a vegetarian and my friend loves veggie pizza anyway*

    Worker: “Anything else?”

    Me: “Yeah, are there any veggies I forgot?”

    Worker: *silent for almost a minute* “Umm… ham? I don’t know my vegetables.”

    Me: *speechless*

    Worker: “So, ham?”

    Me: “No, thanks. Uh, that’s all.”

    (I hang up the phone and tell my friend what happened, to which he laughs and is simultaneously shocked and amused.)

    Me: “Let me test something.” *calls five-year-old over* “Honey, is ham a meat or a vegetable?”

    Friend’s Son: *confused* “It is a meat! Why?”

    Me: “The pizza lady thought it was a vegetable.”

    Friend’s Son: *digging in his toy drawer for more train tracks* “Maybe she should go back to kindergarten.”

    Not Getting To The Meat Of The Problem, Part 4
    Not Getting To The Meat Of The Problem, Part 3
    Not Getting To The Meat Of The Problem, Part 2

    Needs An Application Of Listening

    | USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive, Time

    (I’m at a large department store fairly early in the day. My items are a little more expensive than I would like, but they offer a 20% discount if you sign up for a card. There’s only one cashier at the station I’m at, but two registers.)

    Manager: *passing by* “Hey, [Cashier], when you’re done with this customer, we need you at the front.”

    (The cashier looks extremely reluctant, but nods.)

    Cashier: “All right. As soon as I’m finished.” *turns to me* “It’s just going to take a few minutes more to finish signing you up for the card.”

    (At this point I’ve looked up the bus schedule on my very slow phone and realized I have ten minutes to get to the bus.)

    Me: “Actually, I kind of need to go. Could you cancel the card?”

    Cashier: “Oh, I’ve already run your credit card. With [Store Card] linked up to your bank account, your life will be a lot easier!”

    Me: “That’s great, but I’m running a little late.”

    Cashier: “This will only take a few more minutes. Can I have your bank account number?”

    Me: “What? No. I don’t want the card. I need to go.”

    Cashier: “It looks like there’s a problem. Hold on, let me call them.”

    Me: “Call who?”

    Cashier: “Sometimes we need to call them, sometimes we don’t. I think it depends on how busy it is. It’s not very busy now.”

    (I can see a line forming at the front station, which is clearly understaffed. A few other customers have wandered over and are waiting in line behind me.)

    Me: “Actually, it looks like it’s getting a little busy. Can I get the card later?”

    Cashier: *shushing me* “I’m on the phone.”

    (She talks for a few more minutes, while I try to find another employee to flag down so I can get my items and leave. Suddenly, she holds out the phone to me.)

    Cashier: “They want to talk to you.”

    (Reluctantly, I take the phone.)

    Me: “Hello?”

    Caller: “Hello, ma’am, I just wanted to confirm your application for the [Store Card]. You put down your income as [amount]; you do know this is yearly and not monthly, right?”

    (At this point I am a little annoyed; I don’t make a whole lot of money, and I’m buying clothes for a job interview right now.)

    Me: “Yes, but I actually don’t want the card.”

    Caller: “You don’t want the card? Then why did you call?”

    Me: “I didn’t. The cashier did. Can you cancel my card application, please?”

    Caller: “Of course, ma’am, but I just thought you should know that with [Store Card], you can get—”

    Me: *finally losing patience* “Great, thank you for cancelling the card application. Goodbye.”

    (I reach over and hang up the phone before the cashier can get to it again.)

    Cashier: “What happened?”

    Me: “I don’t want a store card. Did you pay for these items when I handed you my credit card, or should I give it back to you?”

    Cashier: “I’ll take it now. I’m very sorry about the wait. Sometimes they’re just so slow!”

    (She finally processes my payment. By this point, the line at front has dissipated a bit, so she turns to help the people who were behind me. Another cashier also steps up to help. I’m walking away, mentally writing it off as her having an off day, when I hear her talking to the other employee.)

    Cashier: “Oh, no, honey, that’s not how you do it. You must be new. Here, let me get this gentleman’s purchases, and you can watch me.” *to the other customer* “Would you like to sign up for a [Store Card] with us today?”

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