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    Category: Employees

    Badly Planned

    | NS, Canada | Employees, Liars/Scammers

    (I get a call one day from my cell phone service provider, trying to help me find a ‘better’ plan to upgrade to.)

    Caller: “Hi, there. I’m calling today to help you find a better plan for your phone usage.”

    Me: “No, thank you. I’m quite happy with my current plan.”

    Caller: “Well, I see here that last month you went over your included minutes by $3.60. I can help you upgrade to a better plan so that doesn’t happen again.”

    Me: “I don’t normally go over. That was just one month. I’m fine with the plan I have.”

    Caller: “But for just $15 more per month, I can upgrade you to a plan that gives you double your current amount of minutes so you won’t have to pay extra ever again!”

    Me: “So, you want me to pay an extra $15 every month because I went over by $3 once?”

    Caller: “…”

    Me: “I’m happy with my plan, thank you. Goodbye!”

    Holding On To Your Clients

    | Portland, OR, USA | Employees, Health & Body, Language & Words

    (I am the employee in this story. I work in a telephone-based office, answering calls from patients. Note: I am male, and currently on a call.)

    Coworker: “Hey, [My Name]. Mrs. [Patient] is holding for you on line two.”

    (I would normally answer the second call by saying, ‘Hi, Mrs. [Patient]. Thanks for holding. May I help you?’ Instead, I say this:)

    Me: “Hi, Mrs. [Patient]. May I hold you?”

    Patient: “…”

    Me: *hoping the patient thinks she misheard me*

    Patient: “Um, right. Well, the reason I called is…”

    (Neither one of us mentioned it to the other. My coworkers, on the other hand, were dying of laughter in the background!)

    Hold Tight When Freudian Slipping

    | Chattanooga, TN, USA | Employees, Rude & Risque, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m at the bank, where the teller is recounting my deposit to verify its accuracy, but she has difficulties taking the paper wrap off a bundle of one dollar bills.)

    Me: “Uh-oh, did I wrap it too tight? I’m sorry!”

    Teller: “Just a little, but that’s okay! Better to be tight than loose!”

    (Her coworker beside her bursts out laughing and I fail to suppress a giggle. The teller looks confused for a moment before she realizes what she’s said.)

    Teller: “Well, it’s true!”

    How To Polarize Your Customers

    | OH, USA | At The Checkout, Bosses & Owners, Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (I live in a small village, and have been a customer of this bank for 14 years. I am in there three or four times a week, and I know almost every employee. On this visit there is a new teller. I just walked in the door, and am the only customer in line. I wear glasses with transitions lenses.)

    Teller: “I can help whoever is next!”

    Me: “Morning. I just want this check cashed, please.”

    Teller: “Actually, I’ll need you to remove your sunglasses first. It’s a bank security policy.”

    Me: “Oh, sorry. These aren’t sunglasses; they’re my regular glasses. It’s pretty bright outside so they got dark. They’ll lighten up in a minute.”

    Teller: “I’m sorry, but I can’t help you until you remove your sunglasses.”

    Me: “These… aren’t sunglasses. They’re regular glasses. I can’t see without them.”

    Teller: “I understand that, but you NEED to remove your sunglasses. I can’t assist you until you do that. It’s a bank security policy.”

    Me: “Um, is there another teller available?”

    Teller: “No. I’ll be right back.”

    (The teller leaves, and comes back with the bank president: someone who goes to my church and that I’ve known for years.)

    Me: “Hey, [President].”

    President: “Hey, [My Name]! So, [Teller] says that I have a belligerent customer who’s breaking security policy. Of course it’s you. You want to rob us, too, while you’re here?” *laughs*

    Me: “Maybe later. I’ve got a lot to do right now. Hey, can I get my check cashed? She said that she wouldn’t help me until I ‘took off my sunglasses.’”

    President: “Sure! [Teller], cash the lady out. Don’t come back and get me unless she tries to rob you. See ya, [My Name]!”

    (He walks back towards his office, and the teller cashes my check without looking at me. By the time she hands me my money, my glasses have completely lightened.)

    Teller: *after counting back my money* “You know, you could have just SAID something instead of making me LOOK bad. Was it so hard to take off your sunglasses?”

    Me: “You have a great day, too.”

    (I’ve haven’t seen her there again.)

    On A Hamstring Budget

    | NC, USA | Awesome Workers, Employees, Family & Kids, Health & Body

    (My 13-year-old brother has been having pain in his ankles whenever he is on his feet for extended periods of time. He plays soccer and practice makes the pain much worse. My mom works for an orthopedic doctor. She takes him in on Friday, so he can get a diagnosis before his school tryouts on Monday. The doctor evaluates him and goes to my mom.)

    Doctor: “He has the tightest hamstrings I have ever seen.”

    Mom: “Really?”

    Doctor: “Oh, yeah. I’ll prescribe him a physical therapy session. He’ll just need one, so he can learn the stretches he needs.”

    (The office for the physical therapy is fairly new, and my mom’s work has been able to give them good business. My mom calls the office and explains who she is, says she needs this for her son, etc. She’s worried because the office doesn’t take our insurance and doesn’t know how much it will cost. The secretary talks to the physical therapist then comes back.)

    Secretary: “Can you guys come in tomorrow morning at 8?”

    Mom: “Sure! Of course. How much will the session be?”

    Secretary: “Oh, it’ll be no charge. You guys have given us so much business. It’s no problem.”

    Mom: “Oh, thank you!”

    (My mom and brother go in the next morning. They spend about an hour learning a bunch of different stretches to help him out. The entire time there is no one there except for them, the secretary, and the physical therapist. They go to check out.)

    Mom: “Are you guys usually open on Saturdays?”

    Secretary: “No, we’re not open on Saturdays.”

    (That’s when it clicks. Both of them had come in on their day off for free just to help my brother, all because her work helped them with their business. My mom was incredibly thankful and appreciative of what they did and my brother is doing much better! Also, as a kicker, the doctor wrote on the prescription, ‘worst hamstrings in world history!’)

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