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    Category: Employees

    Let The Bodies Hit The Door

    | FL, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Ignoring/Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful, Transportation

    (I work for a funeral home and picking up a deceased person at a nursing home. I pull around to the back door since most prefer we go in and out the back. The front and back entrances to this place are just opposite each other. No matter which you use, it’s the same lobby.)

    Employee: “You have to use the front entrance. Pull around to the front.”

    Me: “Are you sure? I am picking up an expired person and most places prefer we use the back.”

    Employee: “No…  Yes. You have to pull around.”

    (I move the van to the front entrance and re-enter.)

    Employee: “Oh… you can’t come in this way. You have to pull around the back.”

    Me: “I did that, ma’am. You told me to come this way.”

    Employee: “No, I didn’t. Anyway you have to pull around the back to the white gate.”

    Me: “Okay.”

    (I go out and moves the van back to the rear, and find the white gate. I am there for fifteen minutes trying to get in.)

    Me: *seeing a staff member* “Sir, can you let me in, please?”

    Staff Member: “What in the world are you doing here? You should come in the back.”

    (I explains the situation and the guy lets me in and leads me to the apartment I need, with much thanks from me. I arrive at apartment to find everything wrong that could be. The patient is 350 pounds and is laying on his bedroom floor.)

    Police Officer: “Are you here alone? We told that girl at the front desk that you guys would need a team for this one.”

    (This is normally a two man situation, but I have some experience and can handle it… so I do. Paperwork, body on gurney, and ready to go. The same employee from the front desk shows up.)

    Employee: “Why did you park by the white gate? You have to go out [random side door]!”

    (I move my van to the side door and get out of there. It took all my willpower to just leave with only the one body.)

    An All Enveloping Problem

    , | CO, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid

    (My father is an attorney, and has hired a new legal secretary. One of the items she has typed up goes to several people at different offices at various addresses. That night my father brings home the envelope and shows it to my mother.)

    Father: “What do you see wrong with this envelope?”

    Mother: “The secretary put all the names and addresses on ONE envelope!”

    Father: “When I questioned her about it, she actually thought the mailman would go to each person’s address and wait for an answer.”

    (She didn’t last much beyond that day.)

    In Need Of A Wait-less Waitress

    | IN, USA | Bad Behavior, Employees, Food & Drink, Ignoring/Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (My husband, his sister, and I have stopped in a local bar for some food and drinks. The place is perhaps 1/3 full. We wait for about 10 minutes before the waitress swings by.)

    Waitress: “Sorry about the wait. We’re really busy. What can I get you to drink?”

    (My husband orders a beer, I order a cherry [Soda], and his sister orders a margarita.)

    Waitress: “All right. I’ll be back with those shortly.”

    (20 minutes pass, and the waitress still has not brought us our drinks. She’s been alternately floating between the other tables and leaning against the bar with a cigarette. Finally, she brings our drinks and vanishes again without a word.)

    Sister-In-Law: “This isn’t what I ordered… I wanted a margarita, not a beer.”

    Me: “And I’m pretty sure this is diet [Soda], not cherry.”

    (We flag down the waitress.)

    Sister-In-Law: “I wanted a margarita.”

    Me: “And are you sure this is cherry [Soda]? It tastes like diet.”

    Waitress: “I dunno what soda that is. I can’t remember what fountain I used.”

    (This raises some brows at our table; I’d watched her pour the drink less than a minute ago. The waitress comes back with our drinks, correct this time.)

    Husband: “Can we order? I think we’re all ready to eat—”

    Waitress: “NO.”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Waitress: “You can’t order now. I have, like, two tables in front of you. I’m really busy. You’ll have to wait.”

    (She leaves without another word. I watch her walk to the table next to us and take their order… writing it down on the cardboard backside of her notepad instead of the order slips.)

    Sister-In-Law: “I’m starving.”

    Me: “Me, too. I can’t believe she wouldn’t take our order! Isn’t that what the notepad is for?”

    (We spend the next 15 minutes trying to flag down the waitress, who eventually disappears into the back room. By this time, we are all so hungry that we’ve gotten irritable, and we’ve decided to go to the Mexican restaurant across the street. There’s only one other employee that I can see working behind the bar.)

    Me: “Excuse me? I need—”

    Bartender: *walks off*

    (I stare in disbelief, and then wait another five minutes standing at the bar until she returns.)

    Bartender: “What do you want?”

    Me: “We’ve been waiting 45 minutes and haven’t even ordered yet. We’d like to pay our bill and leave.”

    Bartender: “I can’t do that for you. You’ll need your waitress.”

    Me: “Where is she?”

    Bartender: “I dunno.”

    Me: “Can you get her for me, please?”

    (The bartender vanishes into the back room. As the door swings open, I catch a clear glimpse of our waitress, leaning against a wall with another cigarette in her hand. Five minutes pass, and suddenly I see our waitress walk briskly to my husband, mutter something, and walk off without another word.)

    My Husband: “Let’s go.”

    Me: “But the bill?”

    Husband: “The waitress just said we don’t have to pay for our drinks.”

    Sister-In-Law: “What?”

    Husband: “She apparently doesn’t want to deal with it.”

    (We went to the Mexican restaurant instead. We were seated and had dinner on our table within 15 minutes. We haven’t been back to that bar since!)

    Take It Back To The Sauce

    , | TAS, Australia | At The Checkout, Employees, Food & Drink, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (I work at the local fast food place in town. We are doing a promotional, limited time burger. I am currently not working and am going through the drive-thru with my boyfriend.)

    Me: “Hi. Can I get a [promotional burger] with ketchup and mayonnaise instead of the usual sauce?”

    Cashier: “I’m sorry. We can’t put that sauce on that burger.”

    Me: “I’ve ordered the same thing several other times and never had an issue.”

    Cashier: “No, the system won’t process it.”

    Me: “Can you just put it through as sauce packets and ask the kitchen staff to put it on the burger?”

    Cashier: “No, I can’t do that either.”

    (I know we can do that at our restaurant as I get requests from managers all the time to add things to burgers that wouldn’t go through the system.)

    Me: “Can I just get the sauce packets separately then?”

    (The cashier puts it through but when we receive our order, I have not received my sauce. I take it into the store and try to get the attention of the staff but none of them are interested. Fed up, I go behind the counter, open up my burger, and add the sauce myself.)

    Me: “It looks like we can add this sauce to the burger, huh?”

    Only Filthy Thing Is The Attitude

    | NY, USA | Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful, Money, Theme Of The Month

    (I am moving out of my apartment. I am 24 years old. There is a maintenance worker at the complex who is going to come in and do a quick inspection before I leave. I’m a fairly disorganized guy, but I am able to spend the entire day, from eight am to four pm, cleaning up the apartment and getting it in a good condition before I leave. It isn’t perfect, but it is definitely in a good condition and doesn’t need any major repairs. Finally, at about four pm, the maintenance guy comes in. He walks in clearly already in a huffy, nasty mood, and looks around the apartment with a nasty scowl on his face the entire time. After he is finished, he calls me into the kitchen.)

    Me: “How’s the place? It’s not perfect, but I don’t see anything too wrong with it.”

    Maintenance Worker: “This place is filthy! Don’t you kids know how to clean? This is pitiful.”

    (I look around. Not to toot my own horn, but it was pretty darned clean. Easily the cleanest I’ve ever seen an apartment that was lived in by a single male in his mid 20s.)

    Me: “Uh… it looks okay to me.”

    Maintenance Worker: “You clearly didn’t clean at all! I don’t think your security deposit will even begin to cover everything that needs to be done!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but what EXACTLY is wrong with it? I spent eight hours straight cleaning, and even had a friend over earlier helping me out.”

    (He doesn’t respond for several moments. He is clearly straining to think of something to say.)

    Maintenance Worker: “Well, uh… there’s a stain on the carpet! That’s going to eat up your entire security deposit alone!”

    (I look. There is an ever-so-slight stain on the carpet that is so faint, I hadn’t even noticed it.)

    Me: ”I can’t tell if it is a stain, or if it is just a damp-spot because I cleaned the carpet earlier.”

    Maintenance Worker: *becoming huffy* “I also saw [Breakfast Cereal] on the floor of the kitchen here! You didn’t sweep! THERE IS [Breakfast Cereal] EVERYWHERE!”

    (I look around, because I had indeed swept and the floor was spotless. There is no Breakfast Cereal on the floor. I sigh, realizing that he is having a bad day and is just trying to come up with an excuse to not give me back my deposit.)

    Maintenance Worker: “Do you KNOW how much it costs us to clean up [Breakfast Cereal] off the floor?!”

    Me: “Yeah… it doesn’t cost anything.”

    (He huffs and puffs and continues to come up with completely fabricated examples of how ‘filthy’ the apartment is. He also tries to blame me for plumbing problems with the complex that clearly aren’t my fault, since they existed before I moved in and I had even complained about them previously. He finally leaves without so much as a good-bye, muttering to himself about how I was a ‘sloppy little kid.’ Frustrated, I go to the office to return my key, because I want to get out as soon as possible, and don’t want to deal with him any more. The secretary glares at me as I return my key.)

    Secretary: “Why are you giving me the key? You’re supposed to be here over the weekend.”

    Me: “What?”

    Secretary: “The maintenance guy told me you agreed to come in Saturday and Sunday to clean out your apartment more, because he said it was filthy. Of course, this means that you’re going to have to pay us for the extra time you’re here, since you’ll technically have to rent out the apartment an extra few days. So you’re going to need to bring us a check for $25 to cover the weekend.”

    Me: “I NEVER agreed to come in over the weekend, and my apartment is not ‘filthy.’ You won’t be getting any more money because I’m returning the key today. My lease is up today, and I am leaving today.”

    Secretary: “Why would you lie to the maintenance worker? He said you told him you’d come in to clean the apartment, and even shook hands over it.”

    Me: “I most certainly did not. He was being absolutely mean when he did my inspection, over-exaggerated everything, and blamed me for problems that didn’t exist.”

    Secretary: “He wouldn’t lie to me. I know you told him you’d come in this weekend!”

    Me: *throwing the key on the desk in front of her* “If this is how you’re going to treat someone who always paid rent on time, and went out of my way to be friendly, then I want nothing to do with this complex. And you better not keep my security deposit, because there’s nothing wrong with the apartment!”

    Secretary: “How will you get into your apartment tomorrow to clean then? And remember, we need a check for $25!”

    Me: “No, I’m moving out today. You won’t be getting a check! And I won’t be in tomorrow to clean! I can’t make this any clearer! I’m gone today!”

    Secretary: “Fine! But if your place is filthy, expect to be contacted by a lawyer, because we’ll expect you to cover the cost of cleaning if your security deposit doesn’t cover the cost entirely!”

    (I left. About a month later, I got my security deposit back, almost completely in full, because- surprise, surprise -there wasn’t much of anything wrong with the apartment.)


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