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    Category: Employees

    The Sale Isn’t Allowed To Brew

    | The Netherlands | Employees, Liars/Scammers

    (My employer is in an ad hoc meeting with me and a software developer. Suddenly, the phone rings. For a change I get it first.)

    Me: “Good morning. [Company]. This is [My Name].”

    Caller: “Hello, I’m [Name] from [Coffee Company]. I’d like to make you an offer. It is—”

    Me: “Oh, we already had someone from [Other Coffee Company] over. It turns out our team is too small to have a coffee machine. We just brew it ourselves, in a good old coffeepot.”

    Caller: “Uh, okay. Can I ask you how many employees there are on your team?”

    Me: “Well, after what I’ve just told you, that’s quite irrelevant, isn’t it?”

    Caller: *click*

    Employer: “Wow, you handled that really well!”

    Managing The Manager

    | Marysville, WA, USA | Bosses & Owners, Employees

    (The restaurant my husband and I decide to go to is really packed. It’s a buffet and the staff was working really hard to meet all the customer’s needs. They are doing an awesome job, too. We have just gotten to the head of the line and are just getting ready to place our order, when the manager comes bustling behind the counter and begins yelling at the two very tired and frazzled employees.)

    Manager: “Why are there drinks here?”

    (The manager points to two small beverages I hadn’t noticed until his tirade began.)

    Manager: “This is unacceptable and will not happen again. Do I make myself clear?”

    (A customer behind us starts talking to the employees.)

    Customer: “You are doing an awesome job.”

    Manager: “Why, thank you.”

    Customer: “I wasn’t talking to you! That was for them!”

    (Later I confronted the manager about his behavior and received an apology for his behavior and he acknowledged to me his waitresses were doing a great job.)

    Not A National Claim

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Employees, Liars/Scammers

    (I am the receptionist. Telemarketers often try to be put through to one of the company directors, and part of my job is sorting the legitimate calls from the salespeople.)

    Me: “Good morning. [Company Name]. This is [My Name].”

    Caller: “Hi, it’s [Name] from National. Can I speak to [Director], please?”

    Me: “Sure, but, sorry. I missed who you were?”

    Caller: “My name’s [Name].”

    Me: “And where were you calling from?”

    Caller: “From National.”

    Me: “… Okay. National what?”

    Caller: “Uh, National Corporation.”

    Me: *trying not to laugh* “There’s no way that’s a business name.”

    Caller: *indignant* “Yes, it is!”

    Me: “I’m sorry. Unless you have a good reason to speak to [Name], I can’t put you through.”

    Caller: “Fine. I’ll just email him!” *click*

    (I checked with that director’s assistant later. We definitely don’t have any dealings with a company called ‘National Corporation,’ and if this person really had the director’s email address, they would also have had his direct phone number and not needed to come through reception at all!)

    Dollars To Donuts She Will Get The Order Wrong

    | Richmond, VA, USA | Employees, Food & Drink, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (I am the only customer in the store.)

    Employee: “Hi, what can I get you today?”

    Me: “I’d like a bacon, egg, and cheese on a croissant, please.”

    Employee: “A bacon, egg, and cheese on a…?”

    Me: “Croissant. And can I also get a chocolate kreme donut?”

    (The employee starts ringing up my order, and then takes my money. I am turned around looking at their bags of coffee while she grabs my donut and bags it. She hands me the bag and then goes to start my sandwich.)

    Employee: “And you didn’t want cheese on that, right?”

    Me: “No, I wanted cheese.”

    (She starts making my sandwich and I see her pull sausage out of the fridge.)

    Me: “I’m sorry. I said I wanted bacon.”

    Employee: “Oh, I could have sworn you said sausage.”

    (She finishes making my sandwich correctly and then hands it to me. It’s not until I get to work that I open the bag with my donut and notice she gave me the wrong one. I called the manager later on to say that I would be more understanding if I hadn’t been the only customer this girl had!)

    Double Negative

    | Calgary, AB, Canada | Employees, Liars/Scammers

    (At the beginning of the holiday season, the way to the store I need to go to is past a notoriously pushy string of kiosk hosts. I walked past these kiosk workers yesterday with my mother, and know that this particular kiosk worker is quite the ‘Casanova.’)

    Kiosk Worker: “Would you like to try some of my product? It would be perfect for your mother’s Christmas gift! My mother loves this product!”

    Me: *assuming he remembers me* “Sorry. No, thank you.”

    Kiosk Worker: “You’ve broken my heart. You are the only woman to ever say no to me!”

    Me: “Tis the season, because I said no yesterday, too!”


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