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  • Category: Employees

    In Real Hot Sauce Now

    | Washington, DC, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (I stop by a popular sub shop before a meeting one night. All goes well until we get to the condiments. The girl helping me has been working here a while, so I know she’s familiar with how it all works.)

    Worker: “And what else would you like on that?”

    Me: “Ranch, please.”

    Worker: *slowly reaches for the sriracha sauce, which is a hot sauce: very much the opposite of ranch*

    Me: “No. The ranch, please.”

    Worker: *looks at me and then keeps going for the sriracha*

    Me: “I said ranch, please!”

    Worker: *picks up the sriracha and looks at me again before covering the sub in sriracha sauce*

    Me: “Uh, I said ranch several times.”

    Worker: *looks down at the sub* “Oh… I don’t know why I did that.”

    Me: “Me, neither.”

    Saying It Over And Ovarian

    | Long Beach, CA, USA | Employees, Health & Body, Ignoring/Inattentive, Religion, Top

    (I have to have a hysterectomy due to severe endometriosis and ovarian cysts. I am literally slowly bleeding to death. I am 42, and I never had or wanted children. The disease has rendered me completely sterile, so the point is moot. As I’m checking into the hospital for pre-lab work, the nurse examining me chirps in.)

    Nurse: “You know this surgery will make you sterile?”

    Me: “Yes, I know, but I’m already sterile from the disease anyway.”

    Nurse: “That means you can’t have a baby.”

    Me: “Fine, I know. I don’t want any.”

    (This goes on back and forth until the nurse is practically shouting at me about how a hysterectomy means that I ‘can’t make widdle adowable babieeees.’ Once all the lab work is done, I high-tail it out of there, thinking that the nurse is a few bricks shy of a load. Fast forward to four days later, the morning of my surgery. Sure enough, it’s that same nurse.)

    Nurse: “You realize you won’t be able to have children after the surgery?”

    Me: “Yes, I know. I never wanted any. Never will.”

    Nurse: “Are you sure you don’t want to have one before the surgery? We can tell the doctor you want to postpone the operation!”

    Me: “I am having the surgery to save my life as I keep hemorrhaging! I know I won’t have a child after they remove my uterus, Fallopian tubes, and ovaries. I’m sterile now. I’ve always been sterile, and I do NOT want a baby!”

    Nurse: *huffs at me* “Well! You know your godly duty as a woman is to have children! You’re going to Hell!”

    (Yup, I reported her to my surgeon before I went under the knife and I didn’t see that nurse for the rest of my hospital stay.)

    Not Quite The Cream Cheese Of The Crop

    | AL, USA | Employees, Food & Drink, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (My university has a little coffee shop which includes free cream cheese with a bagel purchase. I always use two cream cheese packs, but only see one today.)

    Me: “Hi. Do you have any more cream cheese?”

    Worker: “Depends. Are you going to buy a bagel?”

    Me: “Depends. Do you have any more cream cheese?”

    More Than Meets The Black Eye

    , | NY, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Health & Body

    (One my good friends has a very energetic dog that is lacking in discipline, to put it politely. The last time I went over to his place, as I bent over to take off my shoes the dog jumped up into my face, snout first, giving me a black eye. The next day I stop by a fast food place with one of my friends and we are laughing and joking around as we set up to order. The cashier sees me…)

    Cashier: “Ooooh, baby! What happened?”

    Me: “Huh?”

    Cashier: “Is someone hurting you?”

    (Realizing she is referring to my eye I respond but since I’m a little startled by her concern I trip over my words.)

    Me: “Oh… um… my eye? Yeah, my friend’s dog did this. He jumped… into my face.”

    Cashier: “Mmmm-hmmm. Is THAT what REALLY happened?”

    Me: “Well, yeah. It was a big dog. Thanks for worrying, though. Can I just get an order of [order]?”

    Cashier: “Sure, that will be [amount].” *under her breath* “Man shouldn’t be hitting on no young girls like that.”

    It’s The Small Things That Are Important

    | USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (I’m ordering at the concessions stand at my favorite movie theater. Their popcorn sizes have always been small, regular, and large, exactly as indicated on the menu board. Popcorn buckets of all three sizes are stacked behind the counter.)

    Me: “I’d like a small popcorn and a small coke, please.”

    Cashier: “We don’t have small popcorn.”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Cashier: “We don’t have small popcorn.”

    Me: *points at the smallest bucket* “This is small popcorn. I’d like popcorn from a bucket this size, please.”

    Cashier: “We don’t have small popcorn. This is regular popcorn. We don’t have small popcorn.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. It’s always been small, regular, and large here. You should probably change the menu so people don’t get confused.”

    Cashier: *blank stare*

    Me: “Oh well. I’d like what used to be small popcorn. So, regular popcorn. From this bucket.” *points at the smallest bucket again*

    Cashier: “We don’t have small popcorn.”

    (This exchange goes on for a minute or two. I don’t know what to say anymore, so I reach over the counter, grab the bucket and hand it to the cashier.)

    Me: “Please fill this with popcorn and price me. I’d also like a small [Soda] with that.”

    Cashier: “But we don’t have small [Soda]…”


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