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    Category: Employees

    Number One In The Queue

    | Devon, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Employees, Health & Body

    (I get a letter through telling me to call a number to book a routine eye exam for my four year old. I call the number and wait while it rings, when a woman answers.)

    Woman: “I need a wee.” *click, dial tone*

    Me: “Seriously!?”

    (I called back and waited on hold for 15 minutes despite apparently being ‘first in the queue’ with an expectant wait of ‘three minutes.’ That was some wee!)

    Doesn’t Want To Interrupt Work With Work

    | NC, USA | Employees, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (I’m looking for a particular hair product and having trouble finding it. I see a woman in a red shirt and khakis in the next aisle, apparently stocking shelves.)

    Me: “Hi, I was wondering if—”

    Woman: “I don’t work here.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m so sorry.”

    (After shopping for a while, I go to the front to make my purchases, and the same woman is working at one of the cash registers.)

    Me: “I thought you didn’t work here?”

    Woman: “I just didn’t want to stop what I was doing. Sorry.”

    Must Be A Dothraki Gathering

    | IA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Employees, Theme Of The Month

    (I overhear someone at the meat counter, completely out of context, say:)

    Employee: “It’s not a real party unless someone dies!”

    World Wide Watery Web

    , | New York, NY, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I’m on the phone, trying to resolve an issue where the cable company has mistakenly logged my account as disconnected.)

    Me: “I’m a little confused. The e-mail I received from you says that my account was disconnected, but I still have cable service.”

    Employee: “Well, that can’t be possible. You are disconnected. A technician went out to your residence and physically disconnected the lines yesterday.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I don’t think you’re understanding me. That didn’t happen. My cable and internet are still working. The lines have NOT been disconnected. If you have my account categorized as disconnected, why am I still receiving cable service?”

    Employee: “Well, there may just be some leftover service in the lines. That will get less and less strong as it finishes out and gets used up. That happens sometimes.”

    Me: “Leftover service in the lines? Like water in a pipe?”

    Employee: “Exactly like that. There is just leftover cable and internet in the lines. It’ll run out soon.”

    Me: “You do realize that cable and internet are not physical things that flow through a line, right?”

    Employee: “No, I don’t think that’s correct. The service goes through the wires and into your home, just like water through a pipe. You just have some leftover service in your wires.”

    Me: “… Can I speak to your supervisor?”

    Unlucky In Cards

    | USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Language & Words, Theme Of The Month

    (I work at a card store that always has a card of the week on display at the register, as a way to single out pricier cards that we like. On this occasion, it is a card with a scrawny kid on it who flexes his non-existent muscles when you tilted the card. A couple walks up to the register.)

    Girl: “Oh, hey, this looks like you!” *laughs*

    Guy: “Shut up. No, it doesn’t.”

    Girl: “Yeah, it does! *still laughing*

    Guy: “No way!”

    Girl: “Yes way!” *turns to me* “Tell him!”

    Guy: “You don’t really think this looks like me, do you?!”

    (Since they were fun and clearly being good-natured, I wanted to play along, but wasn’t sure whose side to play along with. I figured I’d take the middle road and let them play it out from there. What I ended up actually saying…)

    Me: “Well, I mean, you’re both really masculine…”

    (The girl and guy both stop laughing and stare awkwardly at me.)

    Me: “I mean… umm… your total is $5.32?”


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