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  • Good To Sell Until Hell Freezes Over
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  • Category: Employees

    This Spells Trouble

    | Stockholm, Sweden | Employees, Language & Words

    Me: “Hello and welcome to [Taxi Company]. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “Hello. My name is Nick, and I seek a…”

    (I wait for him to continue.)

    Customer: “You still there?”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. I was waiting for you. You said you were seeking a…?”

    Customer: “What? No. I said N-I-C-K. My name´s Nick.”

    Going Loco If You’re Not Local

    | Hood River, OR, USA | Bosses & Owners, Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (My family and I, while traveling, have stopped at a very busy local restaurant. We are seated quickly, but then totally ignored. In spite of several attempts to flag down a server, we still get no help. After observing a family that has come in after us pay and leave, we decide that we would take our business elsewhere. While at a small hotdog stand, I related what had happened to us.)

    Hotdog Stand Owner: “They give me more business. You have to be a local to get served there.”

    Me: “Well, that’s interesting, as they are a major truck stop with billboards on the freeway…”

    Cooking Up Some Laziness

    | Birmingham, England, UK | Employees, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (I am getting married next summer. My mum and I happen to see some very cheap bridesmaids dresses in a department store, which come in the right colour. However they don’t have the right size for my future sister in law, so my mum orders one to a store closer to where I live. Unfortunately, when the email comes to say it has arrived, it also states the person collecting it needs to bring the credit card used to order. Since my mum is unable to travel to Birmingham to collect, she rings up to see if I can collect instead.)

    Employee: “Hello. Cook shop!”

    Mum: “Oh, sorry. I was given this number for [Department Store].”

    Employee: “Yes, this is the cook shop.”

    Mum: “I meant to ring through to order collection.”

    Employee: *sigh* “Yes, they are always giving out the cook shop number instead.”

    Mum: “Right, well could you possibly transfer me?”

    Employee: “No, we can’t do that. Every department has their own number.”

    Mum: “Well could I have their number then?”

    Employee: “No. I don’t know anyone else’s number.”

    Mum: “Well how can I speak to them? Could you fetch someone?”

    Employee: “It’s not my problem. They always give out our number.”

    (Eventually she got him to get a manager, who said that as long as I brought the order number and an ID it would be fine. When I arrived to collect the dress the collection point was about 10 yards from the cook shop till, and the same staff were covering both counters. I have no idea why that employee seemed to think he couldn’t help!)

    His IQ Is Under 18

    | CA, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Extra Stupid

    (It is 2013. I am 20 years old and I stop buy the gas station store on my way back from a walk.)

    Me: “Can I get a $2 scratcher ticket, please.”

    Cashier: “Can I see ID?”

    Me: “Sure!” *shows ID that clearly states my birthday and in big letters: ’18 in 2011′*

    Cashier: *stares blankly* “You are over 18?”

    Me: “Yes. I was born in 1993.”

    Cashier: *looks down at ID again* “So you are over 18?”

    Me: “Yes. I am 20. I turned 18 two years ago.”

    Cashier: *looks at me really confused and back down at my ID*

    Me: *slightly frustrated* “I was born in 1993, it is 2013. It has been 20 years.”

    (By this point another customer has gotten behind me in line and witnessed the exchange.)

    Cashier: *blankly* “So you are over 18?”

    Next Customer Behind Me: “Dude, she is clearly over 18! Just give her the d*** ticket already!”

    (After looking at my ID again and handing back my ID really tentatively, the cashier finally sells me the ticket. I grab it and as I rush out. I mutter thanks to the other customer. I am guessing the cashier was either having a long day, or was just really bad at simple math.)

    I’ll Have The Package She’s Having

    | Mississauga, ON, Canada | Employees, Language & Words, Rude & Risque, Technology

    (I am shopping around for a new phone and am chatting to an employee regarding new providers. The provider she is trying to convince me to switch to is called ‘Virgin Mobile.’)

    Employee: “So have you heard about all the perks you get?”

    Me: “Enlighten me.”

    Employee: “Well, as a Virgin, you get more music, more deals, and even discounts at stores!”

    Me: *snickering already* “Really now?”

    Employee: “Yeah, I’m a Virgin, too. Why wouldn’t I? So many benefits!”

    Me: “So I guess you’re screwed if you’re not a Virgin…”

    Employee: “You’re definitely screwed if you’re not a Virgin!”

    (A customer walks by.)

    Customer: “D*** straight you get screwed if you’re not a virgin. That’s the whole point!”

    (The employee then realizes what she’s been saying and blushes redder than a tomato,)

    Employee: “God, that’s the third time this month I’ve said that…”


    I’ll Go Where He’s Going

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