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    Category: Employees

    The Finest Shoes On Diagon Alley

    | Germany | Employees, Geeks Rule

    (After putting buying new running shoes off for a while, because I’m still kind of embarrassed during the whole treadmill procedure, I finally get over myself and go shopping.)

    Employee: *presenting a shoe to me* “So this is a very good shoe. It’s called Nimbus 16…”

    Me: “Nimbus? Like the broomstick, Nimbus 2000?”

    Employee: “Haha, yeah, indeed. But this is only 16; however, you’ll be just as fast as Harry, I bet!”

    (After deciding this shoe was indeed the best, I am paying at the counter.)

    Employee: “Would you like a bag for this?”

    Me: “Yes, please. I don’t think I can fit a shoe box in my handbag.”

    Employee: “Well, not unless it’s one of those magical ones, like Hermione’s.”

    (Thank you awesome employee!)

    Makes Him Want To Put A Bag Over His Head

    | Tucson, AZ, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Health & Body, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (I am ringing up a customer who is known by almost all of the staff as being deaf. Our store requires the cashier and bagger to greet the customer, offer carry-out, etc. I smile at the customer and say:)

    Me: “Hi, how are you today?”

    (She smiles and nods. I usually have small chit chat with the customers while I am ringing them up, but since I don’t know sign language, I keep silent and continue ringing her up, smiling at her as I do so. A known obnoxious bagger comes to help me bag the order.)

    Bagger: “Hi, ma’am, how are you today?”

    (The customer doesn’t reply since she is deaf and didn’t notice he has spoken to her.)

    Bagger: “Ma’am, I asked you how you are today.”

    (Still not getting a response and getting angry for her not answering him, I decide to intervene.)

    Me: “[Bagger], she can’t hear you.”

    Bagger: *screaming as loud as he can* “MA’AM, HOW ARE YOU TODAY?!”

    Me: “[Bagger], she’s deaf!”

    (The bagger turned red and didn’t say a word the rest of the transaction. I have learned to change my wording for the future to ‘She is deaf’ not ‘She can’t hear you.’)

    Floored By The Perverts

    | IN, USA | Employees, Rude & Risque

    (I am a cart pusher. I am on break and talking to a door greeter. His voice is very high pitched and is somewhat similar in tone to a certain well-known mouse character. Three attractive women walk in wearing long skirts. The greeter turns his head to watch and stares for a while as they walk on.)

    Greeter: “Hoo hoo hoo! It’s times like this that make me wish I was a floor!”

    Quebec To The Drawing Board

    | NB, Canada | Criminal/Illegal, Employees, Geography, Transportation

    (In Quebec, there is no law stating that a car needs to be inspected every year, or that a car needs a license plate in the front. These are required in a car from New Brunswick. The police have set up a checkpoint to see if people have had their car inspected.)

    Me: *stopping* “Everything all right, officer?”

    Officer: *looking at my dash, and taps where the inspection sticker usually goes* “Not for you! You don’t have an inspection sticker!”

    Me: “The car is from Quebec. We don’t need one.”

    Officer: *looks at front bumper then sing-songs* “We don’t have a license plate! I’m going to need your license and registration please.”

    Me: “Ma’am, the car is from Quebec. I’m just a student here.”

    Officer: *ignores me and goes to see my rear bumper and sees the Quebec plate, then comes back to my window* “License and registration.”

    Me: “Okay. Here is my French license and here is my French registration.”

    Officer: *looks at them thoroughly then looks at me* “Here. Move along.”

    Me: “Okay, have a good day!” *leaves*

    Should Try The Self-Checkout Next Time

    | Berkeley, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre/Silly, Employees

    (I am the customer in this story, buying drinks from a gas station. I work in retail myself. The cashier rings me out like normal until after the last register beep.)

    Me: “Did you find everything you needed today?”

    Cashier: *looking at me like I have horns*

    Me: “Oh, my god, I cannot believe I just did that. I’m a cashier myself and didn’t realize how much of a habit that had become! I’m so sorry!”

    Cashier: *dies of laughter*


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