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    Category: Employees

    ’twas Beauty Killed The Beastly Employee

    | England, UK | Bad Behavior, Employees, Health & Body

    (It’s a very hot day and I’ve popped into town shirtless. I really need to use the toilet so walk over to the public toilets nearby. A sign says that they are open until 6 pm, however the doors are locked despite it being only 5.15pm. The maintenance man is nearby.)

    Me: “Excuse me, can you unlock the toilets? I really need to go.”

    Maintenance Man: “Sorry, you’ll have to use [nearby Supermarket].”

    Me: “I don’t have a shirt on so I doubt they’ll let me in.”

    Maintenance Man: “[Nearby Supermarket] has toilets. Use them. I’ve just cleaned these.”

    (Being desperate, I have no time for arguing, so I’m about to start walking away to find another toilet when a beautiful blonde woman approaches the man.)

    Beautiful Blonde Woman: “Excuse me, can you open the toilets up for me?”

    Maintenance Man: *smiling* “’Course I can, sweetheart.”

    (He unlocks the disabled toilets.)

    Beautiful Blonde Woman: “Oh, thank you so much. Now, you can let my friend here use them.” *to me* “There you go, sir!”

    Me: “Thanks so much!”

    (The look on the maintenance man’s face was worth it as I ran into the toilet! Thank you so much, Beautiful Blonde Woman!)

    Brain At A Low Dollar Value

    | Winchester, VA, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Extra Stupid, Money

    (I’m at a well known pet store looking at fish since I have recently upgraded my aquarium. I notice that one of the fish that I’m looking at is currently running under a 5 for $5 deal with the store card.)

    Me: “Okay. So I think I’ll go ahead and get some of these since they’re 5 for $5. But I want 10.”

    Employee: “What? No. You can’t do that. It’s 5 for $5. Not 10 for $5.”

    Me: “I understand that. I want 10 fish for $10.”

    Employee: “No! It’s only 5 for $5! You can’t do 10 for $10!”

    Me: “Just go ahead and give me 10. Let’s just see what happens at the registers.”

    (Sure enough when we go to the registers, I am right and I get my 10 for $10. She seems extremely confused by this.)

    Employee: “I really didn’t know it worked like that.”

    Price War Stories

    | USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Money

    (I recently went into a shop to exchange a bag I bought for a similar, but larger one. I’ve chosen my replacement bag and get to the customer service till.)

    Clerk: “If there is a price difference between these products, are you willing to pay it?”

    Me: “Is there a story behind this question?”

    Clerk: “Several.”

    I’ll Pay The (Age) Difference

    , | Ottawa, ON, Canada | Bad Behavior, Employees, Love/Romance

    (It should be noted that I look a bit older than I am at 5’6″, and my boyfriend looks younger than he is, but is 5’11″.)

    Cashier: *as I’m getting my wallet to pay* “Oh, are you mother and son?”

    Both Of Us: “What?! No!”

    Cashier: “Oh… He just looks so young, and you…”

    Me: “He’s my boyfriend!”

    Cashier: “Oh… You’re THAT type!”

    Boyfriend: “I’m only younger than her by two months!”

    Cashier: “What…?”

    Me: “And I’ve known him since we were both five years old!”

    Cashier: “And you’re the same age?”

    Both Of Us: “Yes!”

    Cashier: “I’ll… go see how your food is coming along.”

    Boyfriend: “I feel insulted…”

    Me: “I know how you feel.”


    Working Hard Is A Bug’s Life

    | Minneapolis, MN, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Employees

    (I’m a 14-year-old girl and go with my father to a business convention a week before school starts. Here people set up booths to try and promote their business to other important people from America, Canada, Africa, parts of Asia, Europe, Australia, and Indonesia. The booths tend to give out free stuff, like pens, sticky notes, and some other stuff. It’s the last day and the booths want to get rid of as much stuff as possible so they don’t have to ship it back. I go to a booth promoting a company that deals with pest control.)

    Me: *looks at toy cockroaches*

    Exhibitor: “Take as many as you want.”

    Me: *takes two*

    Exhibitor: “You know what? I think there’s an open box under this table.” *looks under table and pulls out an unopened box*

    (The cockroaches are about two inches long. The box says 24 DOZEN.)

    Me: *speechless*

    Exhibitor: “Go ahead. Take it.”

    Me: *takes it*

    Exhibitor: “Now you have at least 24 dozen cockroaches to give to your friends.”

    Me: “Thank you!”

    Exhibitor: “Thank me when you’ve pranked a few of your teachers first.”

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