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    Category: Employees

    Service Request Is Stalled

    | Redmond, WA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Employees

    (I am the receptionist at a local office park. Today an employee came down with a very embarrassed grin on her face.)

    Employee: “Hello. Uh, could I please ask you to submit a service request?”

    Me: “Sure, what’s it concerning?”

    Employee: “Uh, could I write it down on a post-it note for you?”

    (I’m confused by this but oblige her. She manages to write down a few words

    before breaking down into hysterical laughter.)

    Me: “Ma’am, are you okay?”

    Employee: “Yes, fine! Just… Oh, you are not going to believe this.”

    (She starts writing again, and then breaks down in laughter again. Seeing my increasingly perplexed expression only makes her giggle harder as she finishes her note and hands it back to me.)

    Employee: “You can use my exact wording there if it’ll help. I need to go home and change clothes.”

    (She bolted out of the lobby, and on the way out I noticed several dark stains on her pants. I looked at the note which read, “1st floor ladies’ toilets. 3rd stall lock is broken and toilet overflowed. (I literally had to crawl through s*** to get out!) Miss [Coworker] can bear witness.” I later asked said coworker who told with much amusement how she indeed happened to be using the sink when the poor employee scrambled out from under the locked stall door Indiana Jones style, with a tide of dirty water chasing after her.)

    Toast Of Sandwiches Past

    | Vancouver, BC, Canada | Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I’m calling in a take-out order to a restaurant that I order from frequently.)

    Me: “Can I please get a club sandwich on whole wheat bread?”

    Cashier: “I’m sorry; we don’t have whole wheat bread.”

    Me: “Really? Did you stop carrying it? I ordered the same thing last week, and you had whole wheat bread then.”

    Cashier: “No, we don’t have whole wheat bread. We just have whole wheat toast…”

    (I have no idea what to say to that without sounding like a smartass, so I sit in silence for a moment. I can practically hear the wheels starting to turn in her head.)

    Cashier: “Oh. I guess we can probably use that bread to make your club.”

    Me: “Sounds good.”

    Uncooked Pigs Don’t Fly With Me

    | NY, USA | Employees, Food & Drink, Health & Body, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (My friend and I decide to eat at a Russian restaurant we have never eaten at before. We order some dumplings and a ‘Georgian sausage.’ The sausage, which is made of pork, is a very large one, which we share. It is when I cut into the center and try it that I realize it is still quite raw on the inside. We call over the waiter.)

    Me: “Excuse me, this sausage is undercooked, it’s still raw in the center.” *show the sausage*

    Waiter: “This is fine. It is cooked.”

    Me: “No, it’s not, and this sausage is made of pork, which is dangerous to serve undercooked like this.”

    Waiter: “The sausage is cooked. If you wanted it well done, you should have asked for it well done!”

    (We left without tipping, as we shouldn’t have to ask for pork to be ‘well done’!)

    Definitely In Your Bad Books

    | CA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Employees

    (I’m guilty here. Part of my job is to process orders over the phone, where we also have the option to pay that way by credit card, which is a giant pain in the neck to do and takes anywhere from 20 minutes to an hour. I’m most of the way through one of these longer ones.)

    Caller: “You know, on second thought, I’ll just go to [Online Bookseller].” *hangs up without even saying goodbye*

    (I kind of go nuts because I’d just wasted most of an hour. I strangle the phone receiver for a couple seconds, and slam it down way too hard on the hook while stomping my foot, all in total silence. Realizing that I was flipping out in front of customers, I turned on my brightest smile instead.)

    Me: “Hi! Sorry for the wait. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “… That is the single most terrifying thing I’ve ever seen in a bookstore. You’re not going to bite, are you?”

    Service Is Not Up To Scratch

    , | Aberdeen, Scotland, UK | Employees, Extra Stupid, Musical Mayhem

    (In this record shop, they put empty CD boxes on the shelves and store the CDs in cardboard wallets behind the till. I took a box to the counter, and told the assistant how happy I was to have found it, a rare CD that I’d wanted for a while. She rang up my purchase, found the cardboard wallet, SHOOK OUT MY NEW CD ONTO THE COUNTER, PRINTED SIDE UP, AND SLID IT OFF THE EDGE TO PICK IT UP. When she gave it to me, I opened the box, looked at the disc, and sure enough, it had several deep, parallel scratches.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, but… I don’t want this now that you’ve scratched it.”

    Assistant: *looks at disc* “Oh, I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

    Me: “…”

    (Her manager refunded my money, but I never did get a copy of that CD.)

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