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    Category: Employees

    So Fly Me To Home, Where The Samurai Gnome

    | PA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Employees, Theme Of The Month, Tourists & Travel

    (I’m taking a short flight from Philly to Pittsburgh to visit my girlfriend. The flight is on Halloween, and we’re going straight from the airport to the party and so I’m already dressed in my outfit. I’m dressed as an elaborate Samurai. Despite my somewhat bizarre dress, I don’t encounter any resistance going through airport security until I’m boarding the plane itself when suddenly…)

    Stewardess #1: “Oh… oh. One second.”

    (She runs off, seeming somewhat flustered, but soon comes back holding a tiny toy treasure gnome.)

    Stewardess #1: “Would you mind if we took your picture with our travel gnome?”

    Me: “Uh… no. Not at all. Go right ahead.”

    Stewardess #1: “Yay!”

    (Three stewardesses gather around while I hold up their ‘travel gnome’ and another one takes a picture of all of us. Apparently one of them had seen the movie ‘Amélie’ and gotten a toy gnome to be their plane mascot. I was the only one in costume on the whole flight, and they had to get a picture with the Samurai.)

    Stewardess #2: *after I’m seated* “Thank you so much for that. Can I get you a free drink?”

    Me: “Oh, no, that’s okay.”

    Stewardess #2: “No, you don’t understand. Our plane LOVES our travel gnome. I’d love to get you a drink on the house.”

    Me: “Oh. Well, in that case, a rum and coke, maybe?”

    Stewardess #2: “Absolutely!”

    (And so for playing with the gnome I got a free drink to help pass the short plane ride.)

    Showered With Irresponsibility

    | Surrey, BC, Canada | At The Checkout, Employees, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (A customer comes to my register with some jars of mayonnaise. And by ‘some,’ I mean a whole basketful.)

    Me: “So… that’s quite a lot of mayonnaise you’re buying.”

    Customer: “I know, but my daughter’s expecting.”

    Me: “All of this is for your pregnant daughter?”

    Customer: “Yep. She needs these, or I’m in a lot of trouble.”

    Me: “Sir, I’m really sorry if it’s not my place to judge, but I don’t think you should give that much mayonnaise to your daughter. I understand that cravings can get out of control, but this much mayonnaise can’t possibly be good for her health.”

    Customer: “No! It’s for her baby shower! She’s making deviled eggs!”

    Me: “Oh! That makes more sense.”

    (I should probably work on my conversation skills.)

    Driving Up Prices And Driving Down Business

    , | London, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Employees, Money, Tourists & Travel

    (I’m a native Londoner. Several years ago I had friends visiting from overseas, and took them sightseeing at the Tower of London. I went up to one of the many kiosks to get a drink. At this time, a can of soda was typically around 50p, but I was prepared to pay a bit more due to the location at a major tourist attraction.)

    Vendor: “Yes?”

    Me: “Coke, please.”

    Vendor: “One pound fifty.”

    Me: “What?!”

    Vendor: *speaking loudly and slowly* “One. Pound. And. Fifty. Pence.”

    Me: *with a very obvious London accent* “One fifty for a coke? You gotta be bloody joking.”

    Vendor: “Oh, sorry love. Sixty pence, please. Thought you were a tourist.”

    Giving Girls The Cold Hard Shoulder

    | Newport Beach, CA, USA | Bigotry, Employees, Transportation

    (I’ve bought a used car and it runs out of gas a bit before the gauge is near empty. I run out of gas on the freeway and pull over the shoulder. I call my boyfriend to bring me fuel but as he shows up, so does the county-run tow truck designed to keep the freeways clear.)

    Boyfriend: “Did you call a tow truck, too?”

    Me: “No, he just showed up.” *turning to the driver* “Sorry, I think we’re okay actually.”

    Driver: *ignoring me, talking to my boyfriend* “Don’t worry. I’ll just add some gas to her tank. No charge.”

    Boyfriend: “Well, I already brought gas so we may as well use it.”

    Driver: “The females often forget to check if there car has enough gas.”

    Boyfriend: “Uh…”

    Me: “It’s not my fault. The car gauge showed that it still had gas.”

    Driver: “The females always forget to pull their cars to the shoulder, so we have to drive around to keep the roads clear during rush hour.”

    Boyfriend: “Uh…”

    Me: *annoyed* “But I did pull to the shoulder!”

    Boyfriend: “Uh…”

    Me: “Jeez, can I get some backup?!”

    The Number Must Have Popsicled Into Their Head

    , | New Zealand | Coworkers, Employees, Extra Stupid

    (I am eight at the time. I go to the gas station retailer to buy two popsicles, which cost 99c each. I have a “buy one get one free” card for the popsicles, but when I buy two I am charged $1.98. I thought there was an increase in price so I just leave, but I mention it to my dad in the car.  My dad tells me off and makes me go back in to the cashier with the receipt.)

    Me: “Um. Excuse me, how much is this popsicle?”

    Cashier #1: “99c.”

    Me: *startled* “Then why did I get charged $1.98?”

    Cashier #1: “Because you bought two.”

    Me: “But I have a ‘get one free’ card!”

    Cashier #1: “Okay, I’ll try again.” *points to popsicle #1* “This popsicle is 99c.”

    Me: “Okay…”

    Cashier #1: “And you get this one:” *points to popsicle 2* “…for free.”

    Me: “Yes…?”

    Cashier #1: “So the price is $1.98.”

    Me: “Huh?”

    (Cashier #2, beside Cashier #1, overhears the entire conversation and interjects.)

    Cashier #2: “Here, son, I’ll fix it for you…”

    (Cashier #1 remained confused after I left the store with my change.)


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