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    Category: Food & Drink

    A Non-Dairy Date For Your Diary

    | WA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers, Food & Drink, Rude & Risque

    (We’re having a little party at work because a few of my coworkers are leaving at the same time while some of my other coworkers are being promoted. One of my coworkers is vegan so we bought vegan cupcakes for everyone.)

    Coworker #1: “Man, I’ve never had vegan cupcakes before. They’re pretty good.”

    (Coworkers #2 and #3 nod in agreement.)

    Coworker #1: “Its almost like, I don’t know, weird knowing that was my first time. It’s like they—”

    Coworker #2: “THEY TOOK YOUR VEGINITY!”

    Coworker #1: “…I was going to say ‘they popped my vegan cherry’ but that works, too.”

    Coworker #3: “Well, cherries are vegan, so popping it wouldn’t work in this context.”

    Not Quite The Cream (Soda) Of The Crop

    , | Adelaide, SA, Australia | Bad Behavior, Employees, Food & Drink, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (My mother and I go to the drive-thru to get a particular brand of drink that isn’t sold at many of the fast food chains. I wouldn’t call it an unusual drink but it’s not the brand’s most popular flavour.)

    Mum: “Can I have two brown cream sodas?”

    Cashier: “That’s not a thing. We don’t sell that here.”

    Mum: “But we buy it here all the time.”

    Cashier: “We don’t sell that. Ee only have sarsaparilla. I don’t know why you’re asking for that. It just sounds weird.”

    Mum: “Go talk to the other cashier, currently making coffees. He’s sold it to me before.”

    (The cashier looks at him and back at us, she does not move.)

    Me: “Look at the fridge. I can see it from here. It’s next to the sarsaparilla.”

    Cashier: “I don’t know why you want this weird drink.”

    Mum: “Look, why don’t you just go over and have a look.”

    (Lo and behold, the drinks are there. She picks them up and takes them to the register.)

    Cashier: “I don’t know why it’s called brown; this drink is weird.”

    (We paid and left, still bewildered at what she had said. For the record, it’s called brown because it is brown.)

    Not An Apples To Apples World Anymore

    | Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I’m buying some fruit, and I’ve brought my own re-usable cloth bags.)

    Cashier: *stares blankly into my bag, which contains Macintosh apples*

    Bagger: “What’s the matter?”

    Cashier: “I’ve never seen anything like this before.”

    Bagger: “The cloth bags? Yeah, they’re not that common.”

    Cashier: “No, man. These APPLES, man! What the heck are they? I’ve never seen apples like these in my life.”

    Bagger: “Uh, they’re Macintoshes. We sell a lot of those.”

    Cashier: *shaking his head* “There are so many different types of apples, man, and I can’t keep up.”

    Hobson’s Sandwiches

    | Cape Coral, FL, USA | Employees, Food & Drink, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (I am a Canadian tourist on vacation.)

    Subshop Worker: “Hi, welcome to [Sandwich Shop]. What can I get you?”

    Me: “Hi, I’ll get a foot-long meatball sub.”

    Subshop Worker: “Sorry, we don’t have meatballs right now.”

    Me: “Umm… Okay, I’ll get a foot-long cold cut.”

    Subshop Worker: “What bread?”

    Me: “Italian herbs and cheese.”

    Subshop Worker: “We only have Italian right now.”

    Me: “Then Italian it is I guess.”

    Subshop Worker: “What cheese?”

    Me: *annoyed from my first two issues where he asked instead of informing me they were out* “Swiss.”

    Subshop Worker: “We only have provolone right now.”

    Me: “Do I really have a choice?!”

    (I finished my order with no more problems until a casual conversation started as to where I was from. He then had the nerve to insult the Canadian Health Care system!)

    Don’t Take Out Thanksgiving Without Getting Takeout

    | NJ, USA | Bosses & Owners, Food & Drink, Holidays, Overtime

    (I’m currently doing inventory at my second job and end up in an aisle where our sales manager and our general manager are chatting about Thanksgiving and what they’ll do with the free time since nobody comes in. This is only the second year that our store is open on Thanksgiving and we get maybe three customers in the store.)

    Me: “Oh, I’ll be working. Who is closing on Thanksgiving?”

    Sales Manager: “[General Manager] and [Other Sales Manager] is. [General Manager]‘s going to order you guys Chinese food.”

    General Manager: *rolling his eyes but grinning nonetheless* “We’re not ordering Chinese food.”

    (They go back to chatting about Thanksgiving, commenting how it sucks that we have to be open when nobody even comes into the store. I’ve been half paying attention and adding to the conversation when prompted as they know I also work in a grocery store.)

    Me: “Yeah, I’m working my other job, too. It’ll be nice to have some calm here after the chaos, at least. I’ve got bets on how many people are going to yell at us for running out of shallots again this year.”

    General Manager: *looking at me confused* “But… you said you could work on Thanksgiving.”

    Me: *blinking* “I can. I’m only at my other job 7 am until 3 pm. I’m scheduled here at 5:30 pm.”

    General Manager: “Oh, okay!” *looks confused again* “But… when are you getting to eat Thanksgiving dinner?”

    Me: “Um… I’m not.”

    Sales Manager: *turns and looks pointedly at General Manager* “Order Chinese food.”

    General Manager: *nods*


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