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  • Watch Your Tongues
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  • Category: Food & Drink

    Not Quite The Cream Cheese Of The Crop

    | AL, USA | Employees, Food & Drink, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (My university has a little coffee shop which includes free cream cheese with a bagel purchase. I always use two cream cheese packs, but only see one today.)

    Me: “Hi. Do you have any more cream cheese?”

    Worker: “Depends. Are you going to buy a bagel?”

    Me: “Depends. Do you have any more cream cheese?”

    It’s The Small Things That Are Important

    | USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (I’m ordering at the concessions stand at my favorite movie theater. Their popcorn sizes have always been small, regular, and large, exactly as indicated on the menu board. Popcorn buckets of all three sizes are stacked behind the counter.)

    Me: “I’d like a small popcorn and a small coke, please.”

    Cashier: “We don’t have small popcorn.”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Cashier: “We don’t have small popcorn.”

    Me: *points at the smallest bucket* “This is small popcorn. I’d like popcorn from a bucket this size, please.”

    Cashier: “We don’t have small popcorn. This is regular popcorn. We don’t have small popcorn.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. It’s always been small, regular, and large here. You should probably change the menu so people don’t get confused.”

    Cashier: *blank stare*

    Me: “Oh well. I’d like what used to be small popcorn. So, regular popcorn. From this bucket.” *points at the smallest bucket again*

    Cashier: “We don’t have small popcorn.”

    (This exchange goes on for a minute or two. I don’t know what to say anymore, so I reach over the counter, grab the bucket and hand it to the cashier.)

    Me: “Please fill this with popcorn and price me. I’d also like a small [Soda] with that.”

    Cashier: “But we don’t have small [Soda]…”

    That Training Went Right Down The Toilet

    , | MD, USA | Bosses & Owners, Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, New Hires

    (I have recently started working at a fast food restaurant and am still being trained to do various tasks. The coffee makers for both regular and decaf use pre-measured packets of coffee.)

    Manager: “Customers have been complaining that the decaf is too strong. Who made it?”

    Me: “I did. I put in two packets of coffee like [Coworker] taught me to.”

    Coworker: “I never told you to do that! The coffee is pre-measured. You just pour one packet into the filter.”

    Me:” No, I’m pretty sure you said two…. Oh, wait, I think I’m confusing coffee with toilet cleaner.”

    (They still let me work there, and I eventually got pretty good at my job!)

    Acting Like A Complete Jerky

    | England, UK | Bad Behavior, Coworkers, Food & Drink, Liars/Scammers

    (I work with a rather attractive 20-something woman. She is okay, but gets away with murder and often gets tea or coffee brought for her as she is the only attractive woman in the office.)

    Coworker: *to me* “Wow! What’s that?”

    Me: “Oh this? It’s jerky. Really good stuff.”

    (The attractive coworker’s head pops up.)

    Coworker: “Let’s see.”

    (I throw the closed packet over.)

    Coworker: *as he throws it back* “Hmm, looks really good.”

    (The attractive coworker hasn’t stopped listening.)

    Me: “Yeah, bit pricy but tastes great. Texture is soft really good.”

    Attractive Coworker: “Are you going to share it out, then?”

    Me: *a bit put back* “Well, I wasn’t opening it yet. Maybe …later?”

    (I forget about it for a few days. The next week I open it up and leave it out of sight on my desk. I leave the office and come back to see the attractive coworker quickly walking back to her desk.)

    Me: “Hey, [Coworker], I’ve opened up the jerky. Want a piece?”

    (I can just see out of the corner of my eye the attractive coworker, stuffing something in her mouth.)

    Me: “It’s bit spicy, though.”

    (I hold the bag out to the attractive coworker, who waves me away as she is struggling to chew ‘something’.)

    Me: “…and it only gets hotter as you chew.”

    (At this point the attractive coworker’s eyes are watering at she almost dives for the bin, spitting out the jerky she stole before running out the door.)

    Coworker: “Serves her right, silly cow. She is always trying to get something for free even if she doesn’t like it.”

    (Now, every time I bring something in, I’m always quick to mention that it is a bit spicy. I haven’t caught her taking anything since.)

    Didn’t Drink This One Through

    | Auckland, New Zealand | At The Checkout, Employees, Food & Drink, Money

    (This particular sandwich restaurant has a $6 meal combo which includes a sandwich, small drink, and cookie. Separately, a sandwich and cookie come to $6.50. As a poor University student I’m trying to save money any way possible, so I usually get the combo. However, this day I already had a drink with me and didn’t need another one.)

    Me: “I’ll have the sandwich and a chocolate chip cookie please.”

    Cashier: “That comes to $6.50. Would you like to upgrade to the $6 combo and get a small drink for 50 cents less?”

    Me: “I only want the sandwich and cookie, but can I get the deal and just not have the drink?”

    Cashier: “No, you have to pay $6.50 if you’re not getting the drink.”

    Me: “Well, I’ll take the deal then and just ‘forget’ the cup.”

    Cashier: *getting frustrated* “No, you must take the cup and have a drink if you get the deal.”

    Me: “Fine. I’ll take the drink.”

    (The cashier hands me a small cup and straw.)

    Cashier: “That’s $6 please.”

    (Immediately after I paid I turned around and put the empty cup and straw in the bin next to me and walked off with the rest of my meal. He looked furious!)


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