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    Category: Food & Drink

    Pizza Is What Drives You Home

    | Kyoto, Japan | Employees, Food & Drink, Transportation

    (It’s midwinter and raining, and I’ve gotten off work quite late, so I decide to pick up a pizza for my family and take a cab home to save time. I ask the cabbie if it is okay, and he says no problem. We start driving toward my apartment.)

    Driver: “To be honest with you, I’m starving. I was just thinking about taking a break and grabbing some dinner. I hope you don’t mind me cracking the windows? The smell’s driving me crazy.”

    Me: *awkwardly* “Haha, no problem! Sorry about this.”

    (As he drives, he keeps making small comments about how hungry he is. I’m feeling really guilty, and I half-considered trying to leave him a slice. We get to my apartment and I pay.)

    Driver: “Thank you for riding with [Taxi Service]. Make sure you don’t leave anythi— Actually, it’s fine if you do.”

    Not As Clear As Glass

    | USA | Bosses & Owners, Food & Drink, Geeks Rule

    (A friend and coworker of mine surprised me with a case of Coca Cola in glass bottles for my birthday, so the both of us decide to drink one with our lunch. Our manager comes in and sees us drinking them.)

    Manager: “Are you two drinking beer at work?”

    Coworker: “No, it’s Coke. See?”

    (She holds it up so he can see the label.)

    Manager: “Don’t lie to me! Coke doesn’t come in glass bottles! You’re drinking beer, aren’t you?”

    Me: “But Coke does come in glass bottles! They sell them at the [Grocery Store Chain]!”

    Manager: “I go to the [Grocery Store Chain] all the time and I’ve never seen them selling Coke in glass bottles!”

    Me: “Okay, fine. We’re not drinking Coke; it’s ‘Nuka Cola.'”

    (Nuka Cola is a radioactive soda from a video game.)

    Manager: “Oh, well, why didn’t you say so? Sorry to interrupt your lunch break. Make sure one of you reorganizes the shelves in the reptile section before you get off your shift. They’re a mess.”

    Has One-Stroke-Two A Brain

    | Midlands, England, UK | Coworkers, Food & Drink, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (A colleague of mine is known for her liking of trifle and always buys an expensive ready-made one. At my suggestion she decides to try homemade but, not being confident in the kitchen, first decides to try a box mix that contains everything in it, including a cream-type topping in a powder form that you mix with milk.)

    Me: “Hey, how did the trifle making go last night?”

    Colleague: “Well, I got the jelly and the custard part right, but couldn’t get the cream to work at all. It was so runny.”

    Me: “Runny? How were you mixing it? It’s a really easy topping. Did you use a hand whisk or electric whisk?”

    Colleague: “An electric whisk, as I thought that would be easier, but I whisked it for about 15 minutes and it still didn’t work.”

    Me: “I can’t understand why it didn’t work then. Using an electric whisk should only take a minute, max. How about you go through the steps and let’s see if we can work it out.”

    (By now several other colleagues are listening in:)

    Colleague: “Well, I put the powder in a bowl, measured the milk and added it to the powder, and whisked. That’s all… Mind you, I wasn’t too sure of the amount of milk so I used almost two pints.”

    Me: “Hang on a minute… How could you not be sure of the amount of milk? It tells you on the packet.”

    Colleague: “Yes I know, but it said one to two pints and as I like the topping bit I decided to make the most I could, so used almost two pints.”

    Me: “[Colleague], I think you’ve measured the milk wrong. It sounds too much but I can’t remember because I’ve not used a box mix for years.”

    Colleague: “Well, it definitely said ‘One-stroke-two’ pints of milk.”

    (At this point we all started laughing as we realise the packet must have said 1/2 pint (as in half a pint of milk) and she hadn’t known!)

    Too Chicken To Admit Their Mistake

    | Long Island, NY, USA | Employees, Food & Drink, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (I’m at a prix-fixed Fourth of July dinner at a beachfront seafood restaurant. It is $100 per person, and we are a table of 10. Being a vegetarian, there isn’t anything on the menu that I can eat. The waitress tells me that they have a plain pasta dish as an alternative, and I agree to that. Service has been slow and sporadic. It takes forever to get appetizers and drinks. Over two hours later, dinner is finally served.)

    Me: “This isn’t plain pasta.”

    Server: “Yes, it is.”

    Me: “No, there are clearly chunks of chicken in it. This was supposed to be vegetarian.”

    Server: “Then it is.”

    Me: “Chicken is not vegetarian.”

    Server: “Okay. I’ll get you a new plate.”

    (A few moments later, he comes back with a dish and puts it in front of me quickly before walking away.)

    Me: “This is the exact same plate.”

    Friend: “Are you sure?”

    Me: “Yes! Look! They only picked out the chunks of chicken that were on top. There’s still chicken underneath.”

    (Needless to say, a manager was called for and the heads of our party chewed him out. I wasn’t surprised to find out that the restaurant ended up going out of business later on.)

    A Thinly-Veiled Comment

    | CA, USA | Coworkers, Food & Drink

    (I am in the kitchen preparing my lunch. I am female, I avoid food that makes me unwell but otherwise eat what I want, and it always saddens me when I see women feel pressured to be very thin. A male coworker comes by, looks at my food, and makes a comment that I’m quite sure is innocently meant.)

    Coworker: “That looked really healthy till I saw you were adding mayonnaise”.

    (By way of response, I added another spoonful of mayonnaise!)


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