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    Category: Food & Drink

    Atruficially Incorrect

    | Mansfield, OH, USA | Bosses & Owners, Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Language & Words

    (I’ve been working in my store’s bakery for less than a year, so I’m not familiar with all our seasonal items. With Easter coming up, we’ve started making hot cross buns. They smell amazing, but I don’t like raisins so I check the ingredients label. A few minutes later, the store manager wanders by.)

    Me: “Hey, [Manager].”

    Manager: “Hey, [My Name].”

    Me: “Hey, do you know if there’s like… someone who gets paid to make our ingredients labels? And if so can I have their job?”

    Manager: “Um. Why?”

    Me: “Because I don’t think ‘enzumes‘ and ‘atruficial flavors‘ are a thing.”

    Makes You Wanna Pop

    , | Southfield, MI, USA | Bosses & Owners, Food & Drink, Ignoring/Inattentive, Theme Of The Month

    (I work as a delivery driver for a major pizza chain. I have an exchange between me and one of the managers.)

    Me: “We’re getting seriously low on pop in the cooler.”

    Manager: “What about the pop cooler?”

    Me: “We’re getting seriously low on pop. The cooler needs to be filled.”

    Manager: “What’s wrong with the pop cooler? Is it broken?”

    Me: “No! The cooler is fine! We are getting extremely low on ALL pop!”

    Manager: “What do we need in the pop cooler?”

    Me: “… Duck…”

    Manager: “There should be plenty in the walk-in.”

    Me: “… Duck? Seriously…?”

    Manager: “Yeah, we’ll get it. Take your delivery.”

    (A half hour later, after my return from a delivery:)

    Manager: “Hey! The pop cooler is empty! Why didn’t you tell me?”

    Caught In A Jam

    | WA, Australia | Bizarre/Silly, Bosses & Owners, Food & Drink

    Colleague: “Hey, do you know who has that pile of chocolate? I want some.”

    Me: “I think [Boss] has them.”

    Colleague: “[Boss]?”

    Boss: *yelling from their office* “They’re all gone. I have some jam if you want it.”

    Colleague: “Oh” *walks away*

    (Our boss walks out holding a small packet of jam.)

    Boss: “I don’t know why, but this was where the pile used to be.”

    You’re Going To Pay For That

    | Douglasville, GA, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Food & Drink, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (My company has recently instituted a requirement for all employees to take a ‘safe driver’ course. I am the manager, and I am buying lunch for my coworkers to help make up for having to come in on the weekend. I offer to pay for the instructor’s lunch as well, but she refuses, saying she is required to submit her meal expenses to her company. She is the only female in our group, but the employee in the sandwich shop is also female.)

    Employee: “Can I take your order?”

    Me: “I will have [meal] and these guys are with me. Put all their meals on the same check.”

    Employee: “Aren’t you going to pay for HER, too?” *indicates the instructor*

    Me: “No, I am buying lunch for these [coworkers].”

    Employee: “You are so RUDE! Why aren’t you paying for hers, too?!”

    (By this time the driving instructor looks utterly baffled by what is going on, and looks like she wished the employee would just let it go.)

    Me: “Look, I offered, but she’s paying for her own lunch! Please just do your job.”

    Employee: “Hmph!” *completes the order begrudgingly*

    Too Lazy To Get A Pizza The Action

    | England, UK | Employees, Food & Drink, Lazy/Unhelpful, Top

    (It’s a national holiday meaning that most places are either closed, or only open for a reduced amount of time. Unfortunately I am at work along with nearly 100 other workers. Because we are all working the holiday, my boss has offered to buy pizza for all of us. He asks me to call and arrange.)

    Pizza Place: *all in one tone* “Hello. Welcome to [Pizza Place]. How may I take your order?”

    Me: “Hi. I need to place an order for 10 pizzas, some snacks, and drinks. When do you think you could deliver that by?”

    Pizza Place: “Sorry, we don’t have a driver today.”

    Me: “Okay, I suppose I could arrange someone to leave work for a bit. When could I pick them up?”

    Pizza Place: “Sorry. We are too busy to place an order of that size.”

    Me: “What?! It’s 11:01am. You have literally just opened. How can you possibly be too busy?”

    Pizza Place: “Sorry. We don’t have the staff today. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

    Me: “Anything else? No, I don’t think so.”

    (I give it five minutes. I ring again.)

    Pizza Place: *all in one tone* “Hello. Welcome to [Pizza Place]. How may I take your order?”

    Me: “Yes. Can I place an order for five pizzas for [First Name], for collection, please?”

    (I ring again.)

    Me: “Yes. Can I place an order for five pizzas for [Last Name], for collection, please?”

    (I go to collect and the shop is empty apart from the staff. As I’m early and the pizza is a little late I’m there for a good 10 minutes. No customers come in and the phone doesn’t ring once.)

    Me: “I’m here for a collection for [First Name] and a collection for [Last Name].”

    Cashier: “Er, why didn’t you order them together? You would have got a discount.”

    Me: “Apparently you were…” *I look around at the empty shop* “…too busy”.

    Cashier: “You are the first customer we have had all day.”


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