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  • Category: Food & Drink

    Sample Not So Simple

    | Colchester, VT, USA | Crazy Requests, Employees, Food & Drink

    (An employee with samples approaches me.)

    Employee: “Miss, would you like to try some [juice brand]?”

    Me: *smiling* “No, thank you.”

    Employee: “Why not?”

    Me: “Well, I brushed my teeth five minutes ago; I don’t think juice would taste very good.”

    Employee: *angrily* “Well, you do plan on drinking again at some point today don’t you?”

    Me: “Yeah…”

    (I start walking away, but the employee starts shouting up the aisle at me.)

    Employee: “That’s fine; I respect the customer’s choice!”

    Won’t Make Ends Meat With That Attitude

    | VA, USA | Employees, Food & Drink, Ignoring/Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (I am about 16, and have been a vegetarian for a couple of years. My mother and I are in a restaurant and we’re preparing to order food. Our server is young, maybe 18 or 19.)

    Me: “Does the pea soup have bacon, ham, or any meat in it?”

    Server: “It comes with bacon.”

    Me: “Do you have any soups without any meat?”

    Server: “The chicken noodle soup doesn’t have meat.”

    Me: “…not even chicken?”

    Server: “Well yeah, but no meat.”

    Me: “Oh. I’m a vegetarian; I don’t eat chicken. I’ll just have some green beans and mashed potatoes, please.”

    Server: “Okay. Do you want bacon on the potatoes?”

    Me: “No, thank you.”

    (The food comes and there are three fat strips of bacon on my mashed potatoes. I remove them, and set them aside. Later, the server notices them when clearing the plates…)

    Server: “Was there something wrong with your bacon?”

    Me: “No, I can’t eat bacon; I’m a vegetarian.”

    Server: “But bacon isn’t meat; it’s just bacon!”

    Me: “It comes from an animal; it comes from a pig. It’s meat. I can’t eat it.”

    Server: “Well, you don’t have to be snotty about it. It’s not my fault you’ve got self-image issues.”

    (Needless to say, we didn’t tip well.)

    Estúpido And Estúpider

    | Newark, NJ, USA | Coworkers, Food & Drink

    Customer: “Can I have a turkey sandwich with cheddar?”

    Waiter: “You want fries with that?”

    Customer: “Yeah. Wait, no. Can I get a salad?”

    Waiter: “Sorry, all out of salad. You want soup?”

    Customer: “Yeah. No, I’ll have the fries.”

    (The waiter calls the order in to the kitchen.)

    Waiter: “…and just so you know, he’s… uh…”

    (The waiter pauses, realizing the customer is less than twenty feet away and can hear him.)

    Waiter: “…a little estúpido.”

    Cook: *to the waiter* “Hey, dumb-**s, how do you say ‘cognate’ in Spanish?”

    From Fried To Fired, Part 2

    , | UK | Bosses & Owners, Coworkers, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (I usually work day shift, but my manager has asked me to work an evening shift to cover a staff absence. A coworker is getting cooked chicken strips out of the fryer to serve a customer, and he drops one on the floor. He throws it back into the fryer.)

    Me: “Hey [Coworker], what are you doing?”

    Coworker: “Freshening up the chicken.”

    Me: “What? You’re not going to serve that, are you?”

    Coworker: “Yup, it’s fine; you just need to fry it a bit.”

    Me: “No you don’t! You need to throw it out and cook a new one!”

    Coworker: “[Manager] said this was fine! The hot oil kills germs.”

    Me: “No way!”

    (I make him re-cook the order, and go find the manager and explain what happened.)

    Manager: “[Coworker], what the h***! You do NOT serve food that’s been on the floor!”

    Coworker: “You said that we didn’t have to follow hygiene for fried food; you said the hot oil kills germs. That’s what you told me.”

    Manager: “I said you don’t need to wear gloves to handle frozen food that’s going in the fryer as long as you have washed your hands. What made you think it was okay to serve food that’s been on the floor?”

    Coworker: “What’s the difference?”

    Manager: “In the back. Now.”

    (The scary thing? I’d eaten there in the evenings because I knew we had really good kitchen hygiene. At least, the day shift did…)

    From Fried To Fired

    Best Make That A Double (Her Age)

    | OR, USA | Employees, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (My wife has gone to lunch on her birthday with her dad and my parents. The waitress is taking everyone’s orders.)

    Father-In-Law: “Do you guys do anything special for birthdays?”

    Waitress: “Oh, who’s the lucky one?”

    Wife: “That’s me!”

    Waitress: “Oh, turning 15?”

    (My wife’s jaw drops.)

    Waitress: “…16?”

    (My wife lays her head on the table.)

    My Dad: “28.”

    Waitress: “Oh… I’m going to go get you a very strong drink now…”

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