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    Category: Food & Drink

    Will Drink To That

    , | Adana, Turkey | Employees, Food & Drink, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (Happy hour is ‘two for one,’ from 6-8 pm, on cocktails and beer. I settle in, and try to confirm that my usual rum and soda would be covered, presuming I use the well rum. Keep in mind English is not the bartender’s first language.)

    Me: “Is it happy hour, and what does that cover?”

    Bartender: “Yes. Two for one, cocktails and beer.”

    Me: “So, I’ll have a rum and soda.”

    Bartender: “Rum?”

    (I proceed to point to rum in the menu he handed me.)

    Bartender: “No, not rum, just these cocktails.”

    (He points to the previous two pages of a random selection of mixed drinks. So I skim that list again, and realize a way out of my predicament.)

    Me: “I’ll have a mojito, but please leave out the lime, sugar, and crushed mint.”

    Bartender: “Okay, no problem.”

    Me: “And that’s two for one?”

    Bartender: “Yes, it is cocktail.”

    (In other words, I just ordered… a rum and soda.)

    A Tip Is Not Within Arm’s Reach

    | San Jose, CA, USA | Employees, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

    (My husband and I have gone to a restaurant to go dancing. The restaurant is now closed but the bar is still open. I order a drink but I am hungry and hoping there are snacks for sale at the bar.)

    Me: “Do you have anything at all. Maybe some bags of chips for sale?”

    Bartender: “If you are looking for something salty, you can always lick my arm.”

    Lady At Bar: *overhearing* “And that is how you don’t get a tip.”

    (She was right. I didn’t leave a tip.)

    A Few Holes In His Knowledge

    , | ON, Canada | Food & Drink, New Hires

    (I stop in a popular doughnut and coffee chain for some doughnut holes, which they sell in the same variety of flavours as their doughnuts. The very young man behind the counter has a badge that says ‘TRAINEE’ and his trainer behind him can’t be much older.)

    Trainee: “Can I help you?”

    Me: “I would like a box of 20 doughnut holes please. Assorted.”

    (The trainee takes a box, opens it, and takes a piece of parchment paper to the display case. He looks at the top shelf, the middle shelf, and the bottom, several times, before turning to his trainer.)

    Trainee: “What flavour is ‘sorted’?”

    Trainer: “‘Assorted.’ It means he wants two of each.”

    Trainee: “Oh, yeah.”

    Me: *laughing* “Young man, you just made my day!”

    Two Of A Kind

    , | IA, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Math & Science

    (We are at the drive thru.)

    Employee: “Can I take your order, sir?”

    Me: “Do you have sliders?”

    Employee: “Yes, we do. How many would you like?”

    Me: “I really don’t feel like six and two isn’t enough. Can I buy four?”

    Employee: “No, sir. We only sell siders in six packs or two packs.”

    Me: “Okay. Please get me four burgers.”

    Employee: “Sir, would you like the two-pack or six-pack?”

    Me: “I’d like four sliders please.”

    Employee: “We only sell sliders in two packs or six packs.”

    Me: “Okay. No problem. Just give me four sliders.”

    Employee: “You don’t understand, sir. You get two burgers with the two pack and six burgers with the six pack. You can’t order four.”

    Me: “Okay, well can you order me two two-packs?”

    (There is a long pause.)

    Employee: “Oh!”

    Me: “Thank you.”

    Employee: “That will be two, two-pack sliders. Correct?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    (After picking up the order and pulling away from the ‘pick-up’ window, I quickly realize the bag is light. Looking inside, I see only two burgers. I go back to the window)

    Employee: “Sir, can I help you?”

    Me: “Yes. There’s only two sliders in my bag. I ordered four.”

    Employee: “Let me check the screen. Your order only says ‘two.’”

    Me: “That means two, two-packs of sliders.”

    (There is a long pause.)

    Employee: “Oh!”

    Can’t Be Any Clearer Than Black And White

    , | Warrington, England, UK | Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    Me: “White coffee, please.”

    Server: “We haven’t got any white coffee. I do have some black coffee and some milk if that is okay?”

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