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    Category: Food & Drink

    Unwanted Reaction To The Joke

    | WA, USA | Employees, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (I’m at a popular burger chain with my boyfriend. Due to allergies, I can’t have mayo. I order some food, and when I order my burger…)

    Me: “And no mayo on the [burger], please.”

    Cook: *pops out of the kitchen* “Extra mayo, then!”

    (I know he’s joking, but I give him the most dead serious look.)

    Me: “I will vomit on every surface I can if you give me mayo.”

    Cook: “…No mayo it is.”

    Only Likes Seoul Food

    , | GA, USA | Employees, Food & Drink

    (I’m the customer in this story. I am at a mall food court on a slow weekday and go to the Chinese fast food place.)

    Me: “Is [one of the entrees] any good?”

    Asian Lady Behind Counter: “I’m sorry, I don’t know. I don’t like Chinese food.”

    Me: “…”

    Asian Lady Behind Counter: “I’m Korean.”

    Sweet Slice Of Karma

    | England, UK | Bad Behavior, Coworkers, Food & Drink

    (One of the guys at work has an annoying habit of offering out food other people have brought in. I’ve never said anything before, but I’ve always felt that he oversteps the mark. One day, we have a little get together for one of the guys that is leaving that day.)

    Me: *out loud* “Why is there cake missing?”

    Coworker: “Oh, I gave a bit to one of the shop-floor guys.”

    Me: “What? You do realise this was for [Other Worker], who is leaving?”

    Coworker: “Yeah, well, it was on the side so…”

    Me: “So you just decided to give away something that wasn’t yours?”

    Coworker: *defensively* “It doesn’t matter.”

    Me: “Of course it matters. How would you feel to be given half a cake?”

    Coworker: “Well, whatever.” *stomps out*

    Other Coworker: “Well I’m glad you said something. That was totally out of line.”

    (By the time he has finished pouting and returned to the office, the leaving worker has turned up and we have started dishing up the cake and handing over the card.)

    Coworker: “Where’s mine?”

    Me: “The cake? Funny thing is that is was already cut into exactly the right amount of pieces for everyone. For some reason when I got round to you there was some missing.”

    Coworker: “You bunch of a**-holes.”

    (Just like that, without even a word of congratulation to the guy on his last day, he stomped out again.)

    De-Icing The Decaf

    | GA, USA | Bosses & Owners, Food & Drink, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (My mother and I are in a drive-thru at a popular doughnut shop where the owner usually takes the orders himself.)

    Owner: “Hello, what can I get for you?”

    Mother: “One medium iced mocha latte, one decaf—”

    Owner: “Iced mocha latte?”

    (The usual response after this is ‘we don’t do that,’ even if mocha is one of their listed flavorings for iced coffee.)

    Mother: “Yes. A medium iced latte, mocha flavored, please.”

    Owner: “How do you want that?”

    (We exchange baffled looks.)

    Me: *to mother* “Iced… with milk and chocolate?”

    Owner: *over me* “You want sugar and whipped cream?”

    Mother: “Oh. Sugar, no whipped cream.”

    Owner: “Okay. What else?”

    Mother: “An iced decaf coffee with milk and [sugar substitute], and two [special doughnuts].”

    Owner: “Okay, iced coffee and two doughnuts. So that’s one small iced mocha and one medium iced coffee with milk and [sugar substitute]?”

    Mother: “They should both be mediums, and the iced coffee should be decaf.”

    Owner: “Oh, okay. One medium iced latte with mocha and one iced decaf with cream and [sugar substitute].”

    Mother: *giving up* “Right. And two [doughnuts].”

    Owner: *cheerfully* “And two [doughnuts]. Please drive to the window!”

    (Our coffees were both larges. We just hoped that my mother’s was actually decaf. But I did learn that if you say ‘iced latte, mocha’, then they understand much faster!)

    De-Decaf

    | USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (We are underway for a ‘friends and family’ cruise (just one day underway). At the time I am working on the mess decks when I have this conversation with another sailor’s mother:)

    Woman: “Oh, coffee! There’s regular and… is that decaf?”

    Me: “No, ma’am… that’s Navy Brew.”

    Woman: “What’s that?”

    Me: “About twice as strong as regular.”

    Woman: *gasps*

    (Eventually they switched the setup to allow for decaf, but for that first year or so we only had regular and double-strength coffee.)


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