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    Category: Food & Drink

    Can’t Think Outside The Box

    | CA, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I go into our local serve-yourself bakery to buy muffins for some staff meetings. I needed two dozen, but because the meetings are spaced throughout the day, I pack eight muffins into three different boxes.  I get up to the register to pay and the clerk tries to charge me for three dozen.)

    Me: “I only have two dozen.”

    Clerk: “But you have three boxes so it’s three dozen.”

    Me: “Yes, I have three boxes, but there are only eight in each box which equals two dozen.

    Clerk: “Nope. Three boxes equals three dozen.”

    (After going round and round with her several times, I ask for the manager. She goes into the back to get him and as soon as he comes out, he says without even looking:)

    Manager: “Three boxes is three-dozen.”

    (I put the boxes on the counter and walked out. I ended up at my local supermarket where I bought two dozen donuts in three boxes without any problems.)

    Adding A Certain Je Ne Sais Quoi

    | MA, USA | Employees, Food & Drink

    Me: “I’d like a medium vanilla coffee, please.”

    Clerk: “I’m sorry, we don’t have vanilla. We only have hazelnut, pumpkin spice, and French vanilla.”

    How To Cheese Someone Off

    , | Idaho Falls, ID, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

    (I am about six years old. My mom, brother, and I go to a popular fast food restaurant which is a big treat for us.)

    Mom: *to me* “Tell the lady what you would like to eat.”

    Me: “I’ll get a kids meal with a cheeseburger, please?”

    Employee: “I’m sorry; our kids meals don’t come with cheeseburgers.”

    Me: “Okay, I’ll get a kids meal with chicken nugget, then.”

    Brother: *to employee* “I’ll get a kids meal with a hamburger?”

    Employee: “Would you like cheese on your hamburger?”

    Me: “…”

    Talking Turkey About Bacon

    , | Perth, WA, Australia | At The Checkout, Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I’m in line at Well Known Sandwich Shop, and I ask for a six-inch sub with turkey and bacon. The teenager behind the counter nods and repeats my order.)

    Attendant: “Okay, so ham and bacon.”

    Me: “No, TURKEY and bacon, thanks.”

    Attendant: “Right, ham and bacon.”

    Me: “Um, no? TURKEY” *I point to the turkey*

    Attendant: “Yeah, okay the white ham.”

    (I’m gob-smacked, and then I moved down to pay, and I advise the cashier of what I ordered, she looks confused, until the teen yells down the line.)

    Attendant: “She had the ham and bacon!”

    Great Feats Of Meats

    , | Australia | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers, Food & Drink

    (I’ve recently started working the opening shift once a week, which involves arriving at six am to organise and fill the shaved meats. By the time backup arrives at eight am, I’ve made everything look perfect. Note that I require a LOT of coffee that early in the morning.)

    Coworker: “Good morning, dear!”

    Me: “Good morning! Look! Did I do a good job?”

    Coworker: “Oh, hey, it looks incredible! Did you colour code the meats?”

    Me: “I may have.”

    (The next week:)

    Coworker: “Good morning!”

    Me: “Hello!” *long pause* “Hey, tell me again how good I did.”

    Coworker: “It looks amazing; they should have you on every morning!”

    Me: “Aw, shucks.”

    (The week after that:)

    Coworker: “Good morning! Don’t worry, I know the drill. Oh, my goodness, the meats look just so good!”


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