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  • Cheering Up And Dumbing Down
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    Category: Food & Drink

    Shoot First, Ask Questions Later

    , | USA | Bizarre/Silly, Bosses & Owners, Employees, Food & Drink

    (It has been a really busy day and we are backed up about 30 minutes per-order. We have about five mini pepperoni pizzas left.)

    Me: “So, this is nothing compared to how Superbowl Sunday will be?”

    Supervisor: “Nope. It’s gonna be rough.”

    Me: “Man, can I just shoot myself now?”

    Supervisor: “NO! Wait until you are outside… and you have to get me first.”

    Me: “Aw, I don’t want to hurt you.”

    (My supervisor drops three of the last pepperoni mini-pizzas.)

    Me: “Never mind. You first.”

    Childhood Cheer

    , | Australia | At The Checkout, Awesome Workers, Employees, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (At our supermarket, it’s common for parents to ask if their child can have a single cocktail frankfurt (which are often called cheerios) to nibble on while they shop. We also offer them freely to most customers with children. They love it. On this day, I’m serving a middle aged woman and her twenty-something daughter.)

    Me: “And will that be all today?”

    Mother: “Yep, thanks.”

    (I turn away to wrap their purchases and I overhear the next part.)

    Daughter: *mumbling something*

    Mother: *laughing* “I used to be able to get you a free cheerio when you were four, but they’re not going to give you one now!”

    (I turn back to hand them their items.)

    Me: *to the mother* “Has your little girl been good enough for a cheerio?”

    (The mother face-palms as the daughter literally jumps up at down with excitement.)

    Daughter: “Yay, yay, yay!” *stuffs entire cheerio into her mouth* “Fankoo!”

    Mother: “This hasn’t happened for almost 20 years and now I’m going to have to do it every time!”

    (This made my day. Never lose your inner child!)

    Late Down To The Lockdown

    , | AK, USA | Bosses & Owners, Food & Drink, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (I’m one of three people working the opening shift. Since the two managers arrive first, they’re supposed to unlock the doors every day for us employees. On this particular morning, the front door is locked. I go around back to the employee entrance and find it is also locked. A few attempts at knocking prove fruitless, so I finally come around to the drive-through window, where I can see the managers and vaguely hear a conversation.)

    Manager #1: *checking the clock* “Where’s [My Name]? She’s five minutes late! She’s NEVER late!”

    (At this point, I knock on the window.)

    Manager #1: “[Manager #2], you get it. Tell them we’re a little short today.”

    Manager #2: *looking out the window and waving at me* “Say, [Manager #1]? Are you SURE you unlocked all the doors today?”

    Manager #1: “Sure I did! Why?”

    Manager #2: “Because [My Name] is standing right outside this window.”

    Affogato Be Kidding

    | England, UK | Employees, Food & Drink, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (I go to the bar to order food, and find that the thing I was going to get has just sold out.)

    Bar Staff: “Can I get you a drink while you decide what else you want?”

    Me: “Could I get an ice water, please?”

    Bar Staff: “One affogato. Sure.”

    Me: “Uh, no. An ice water, please.”

    Bar Staff: “One affogato coming up.”

    Me: “I said ICE. WATER. Please.”

    Bar Staff: “Oh! Oh, right. Yeah. Sure, okay.”

    (I’m handed a glass of water.)

    Me: “Could I have the mozzarella and basil panini, but without tomatoes please? I can’t eat tomatoes.”

    Bar Staff: “Mozzarella panini, sure. You want chips with that?”

    Me: “Okay. Yes, please. But no tomatoes. I’m allergic.”

    (I return to my table with everybody else. After a while, everybody’s food comes out.)

    Friend: “Wow, that is a lot of tomatoes you’re having.”

    (There were tomatoes in the panini, tomatoes on the chips, and a side of tomato-based salad I didn’t order or pay for. I suppose if they misheard ‘ice water’ as ‘affogato,’ mishearing “I’m allergic” as “I’d like extra” isn’t too far of a stretch, but still…)

    Putting A Finger On The Problem

    | Ireland | Bad Behavior, Employees, Food & Drink

    Me: *flagging down a waitress* “Excuse me, but this lasagna is frozen in the centre.”

    Waitress: *sticking her finger into my food* “It feels fine to me!”


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