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  • Category: Food & Drink

    A Stupid Combo

    , | Toronto, ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Employees, Food & Drink, Ignoring/Inattentive

    Me: “[Burger] please, just on its own.”

    Server: “You want a combo?”

    Me: “No, on its own, please.”

    Server: “Not combo?”

    Me: “On its own.”

    Server: “You should get a combo, it’s cheaper.”

    Me: “Than just the burger?”

    Server: “No.”

    Me: “Just the burger please. Nothing else.”

    Server: *shrugs* “Okay, six dollars.”

    Me: “But it’s only $3.99.”

    Server: “Plus tax.”

    Me: “The tax shouldn’t be that much.”

    Server: “Sandwich and fries and drink plus tax, six dollars.”

    Me: “But I said no combo.”

    Server: “Yes, so fries and drink cost more.”

    Me: “But I only want the burger, no combo. No drink, no fries.”

    Server: “You want just the sandwich?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Server: “No drink? No fries?”

    (She’s probably still trying to sell the combo to the space I was standing in.)

    I Say Tomato, You Say…

    , | ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Language & Words

    (I am working as the backup order taker at the drive thru one night. The woman working drive thru was busy with a customer at the window, so I took the next customer’s order.)

    Me: “Welcome to [Store]. Can I take your order?”

    Customer: “Yes, I’d like a [Signature Burger] combo with no tomato and no pickle, and a diet coke.”

    Me: “Okay, a [Signature Burger] combo with no pomato, no tickle.”

    (I pause, realizing what I just said. The customer chuckles.)

    Me: “Sorry. That’s no pomato, no tickle.”

    (Again I pause, realizing I did it again. Customer chuckles again.)

    Me: “One more time. No pomato, no tickle.”

    (Another pause. More chuckling.)

    Me: “Okay. So a [Signature Burger] meal with special toppings and a diet [Soda]. Is there anything else?”

    Customer: “No, that’s everything.”

    Me: “Okay, that’ll be [cost]. Please drive to the window.”

    (The customer pulls up to the window, pays, and my coworker turns to get the change. I go to the window to talk to the customer.)

    Me: “I’m really sorry about that. I don’t know why I can’t say no pomato, no tickle. I just did it again.”

    Customer: *laughing* “Yes, I don’t mind, really.”

    (My coworker gets the food while I think about how the words should sound. I ask to hand the food to the customer.)

    Me: “Here’s your [Signature Burger] combo with no tomato, no pickle. Have a good night.”

    Customer: “Thanks, and you got it this time. Bye.”

    Wishing For Pun Tea-Total

    | KY, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Employees, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

    (I am in a tea store the other day checking out some white tea. The employee helping us was very nice and knowledgeable, but she made some AWFUL puns.)

    Employee: “So this tea used to be reserved for the Imperial Family of China. I guess you could say it’s… Royal-Tea!”

    Us: *groan*

    A Recipe For Disaster, Part 2

    , | Toronto, ON, Canada | Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (Since I was two, I’ve been diagnosed with celiac disease, which means that I can’t eat gluten. So I’m gluten-free, but most definitely not by choice. The most difficult part is eating out, because often employees won’t know what to do.)

    Me: “Is this item gluten-free?”

    Employee: “No, nothing is free.”

    Me: “No, does this item have any gluten in it?”

    Employee: “Gluten? What is gluten?”

    Me: “Wheat, barley, rye, oats, or spelt – are any of those ingredients in this product?”

    Employee: “One second.”

    (He then gets out his iPhone, and I presume it’s to call someone who created the product to make sure. Instead, he goes onto Google to search up ‘gltin.’)

    Employee: “How do you spell it?”

    Me: “Uh, never mind. I’ll just have [product that in no way could have gluten].”

    Related:
    A Recipe For Disaster

    Ki-Wheezing

    | MN, USA | Employees, Food & Drink, Health & Body, Liars/Scammers

    (I often visit a local coffee shop that serves not only coffee items, but also pastries and real fruit smoothies. The menu, however, does not list the fruits included in the smoothies. I have a kiwi allergy.)

    Me: “Hi, can I get a tropic blast smoothie and a scone?”

    Barista: “Sure thing! That’ll be [price].”

    Me: “And does the tropic blast smoothie have any kiwi or kiwi flavoring in it? I’m allergic.”

    Barista: “No, none at all! It’ll be right up.”

    (My friend and I pay and collect our food and go to sit down. I take a sip and immediately feel my lips tingling and itching, and my tongue feels like it’s getting pinpricks and is swelling. I realize there is kiwi, and I’m having an allergic reaction. Since my reactions aren’t life threatening, just uncomfortable for an hour or so, I bring it back up to get a replacement.)

    Me: “Uh, sorry but there is kiwi in this. I’m having a reaction but it’s in control. Can I get a refund or replacement, maybe?”

    Barista: “F*** off.”

    Me: *shocked* “Excuse me?”

    Barista: “You heard me. F*** off. That had got to be the fakest lisp I’ve ever heard, and Jesus is watching you lie to get things for free. You even drank half of it!”

    (The ‘fake lisp’ is from my swollen tongue, and I had only taken a small sip so the cup is nearly filled to the brim. Another barista gets the manager/owner for me without being asked, and I tell her what happened.)

    Owner: “Did you really tell this poor girl to ‘eff off’?!”

    Barista: “Listen to her! She’s obviously faking. She just wants free smoothies.”

    Owner: “Can you show her your tongue, please, miss?”

    Me: *sticks out my red and obviously swollen tongue*

    Owner: “Why did you tell her the tropic blast didn’t have any kiwi?! And why did you accuse her of lying?!”

    (The barista tried to defend herself and failed. The owner fired her and told me this isn’t the first time she’d been rude to customers. The owner gave me a 15 free drinks coupon, and even though I’ve used them up, I’m still a regular! But I’ve never had another smoothie from them.)


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