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    Category: Food & Drink

    Wine Dine Crime

    | New Zealand | Criminal/Illegal, Employees, Food & Drink

    (I’ve been a qualified sommelier for about 10 years and have been working in hospitality for 20. I’m visiting my family in New Zealand and decide to pop into a well regarded new wine bar one evening before dinner. I’m sitting at the bar, looking at the list.)

    Me: “I’ve never seen [Very Rare Wine] on a wine list before! I was under the impression there were only three bottles left in the world and they were all privately owned.”

    Bartender: *whispering* “Don’t get it!”

    Me: “Uh…sorry?”

    Bartender: *whispering* “Don’t bother mate. It’s not real.”

    (I can’t work out why he’s whispering because I’m the only one inside.)

    Me: “What do you mean it’s not real?”

    Bartender: “The owner, she thinks it looks good to have something like that on the menu. So she just got labels made to put over other bottles of wine. Now I have to put up with people asking how we got our hands on a whole case of them! What am I supposed to say, huh? And she actually expects me to sell them. Like no one will notice it’s a $10 bottle of plonk!”

    (The ‘relabeled’ wine is in the thousands. I stick to a nice local red and when I’m leaving I hand him my card.)

    Me: “If you’re ever moving to Australia and need a job give me a call. Frankness and honesty are quite rare and you seem to have both qualities.”

    Bartender: “Wow, I’m so glad I told you. Sometimes I can’t be bothered, deterring customers. Have a good evening!”

    (He now works for me in Melbourne.)

    That Description Is Not Kosher

    | Scotts Valley, CA, USA | Employees, Food & Drink, Holidays, Ignoring/Inattentive, Religion

    (It is mid December and Hanukkah is approaching.)

    Me: “Excuse me, do you carry Hanukkah candles?”

    Employee: “Yeah, they’re down here with all this weird stuff.”

    (She leads me down an aisle and points out the candles. The ‘weird stuff’ turned out to be Gefilte fish, matzo, matzo meal, latke mix, etc…)

    Me: “Ma’am, that weird stuff is what we Jewish people call food. “

    Not A-Bun-dantly Clear

    | NH, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Employees, Food & Drink

    (It is the height of the Atkins diet craze and my wife and I have just ordered lunch.)

    Food Runner: “What can I get you?”

    Wife: “I will have a hamburger.”

    Food Runner: “And what toppings?”

    Wife: “None, just plain.”

    (I see a food runner walk by with a couple of plates including one with a hamburger patty.)

    Me: “Looks like someone is on the Atkins diet!”

    Wife: *laughs* “I can’t believe people and fad diets!”

    Food Runner: *turns around and comes back to our table* “I have a chicken salad and a hamburger.”

    Me: “Uhm… don’t hamburgers usually come with a bun?”

    Food Runner: “You wanted it on a bun?”

    Me: “Well, I didn’t specifically ask for one but I kind of assumed hamburgers usually come on buns.”

    (Turns out our waiter had written ‘plain hamburger’ on the ticket and the cook decided to take it to the extreme!)

    The Customer Is Always Right… Behind The Counter

    , | Orem, UT, USA | Bosses & Owners, Employees, Food & Drink

    (I recently quit working at a popular smoothie chain, but would sometimes stop in for breakfast on my way to class. The manager is the only person in the store at this time, and is running behind on the opening procedures. There are no other customers.)

    Manager: “[My Name], you can just ring yourself up really quick and I’ll make your order.”

    Me: “Okay, as long as it doesn’t get you in trouble.”

    (I step behind the counter and put in my order. Just then another customer comes in. He witnessed our interaction, and is clearly confused.)

    Manager: “Wanna ring him up for old time’s sake?”

    Me: *to the customer* “Welcome to [Store Name]. What can I get for you today?”

    (The manager makes both our orders, and I walk to class laughing at how it must have looked to the customer to see another customer go behind the counter and ring their own order up.)

    A Lack Of Military Intelligence

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Bad Behavior, Employees, Food & Drink

    (I am a female active duty sailor, eating out with my boyfriend. As I order a drink with our meal I give the waitress my military ID to verify my age.)

    Waitress: “Is this a joke?”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Waitress: “Do you think I’m stupid? This can’t be real!”

    Me: “Um, no, it’s real. Why wouldn’t it be?”

    Waitress: “My boyfriend is in the Marines. I know women aren’t allowed to be active duty! This is a fake. You’re probably trying to scam a military discount out of us.”

    Me: “No, women aren’t allowed in spec-ops or on submarines yet, but there’s a f***-ton of us in other jobs. I’m an engineer on a carrier and that is NOT fake. Give it back. I’ll just use my driver’s license.”

    Waitress: “No can do.”

    (She proceeds to whip a massive pair of shears out of her apron and cut my ID in half.)

    Me: “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”

    (A manager that hears me yell comes over immediately.)

    Manager: “What’s the problem here?

    Me: “Your waitress just cut my military ID in half because, apparently, women can’t serve.”

    Manager: “Oh, my god. I’m very sorry, ma’am. Your meal is on us tonight.” *he glares at the waitress* “My office. Now.”

    (The waitress got chewed out and we got coupons towards another meal on top of free food. Both my boyfriend and my division officer thought the whole thing was hilarious.)


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