Not Always Working on Facebook Not Always Working on Twitter Not Always Working Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Being Sweet When You’re Sixteen
    (1,157 thumbs up)
  • Category: Food & Drink

    Playing The Name Game

    | MA, USA | Awesome Workers, Employees, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (It’s a Sunday, and my best friend and I are going to the movies along with his little sister. However, the theater has closed early and we instead decide to go to a restaurant nearby. We order some appetizers and are just chatting. My friend works at a grocery store and still has his polo and nametag on. He’s not one of the sharpest knives in the drawer but he’s a really good person. We notice one of the bus girls approach us.)

    Worker: “Hi. You’re [Friend], right?”

    Friend: “Yeah, how’d you know that?”

    Worker: “My name is [Worker]. Don’t you remember me?”

    Friend: “Uh…” *pulls the ‘oh, yeah’ face* “I think I actually do! How you been?”

    Worker: “I’m lying. We’ve never met before.”

    (At this point his sister and I laugh hysterically.)

    Me: “You get a high five for that!”

    Sister: “Can I shake your hand?”

    Worker: “I’m sorry. You had your nametag on and I just couldn’t resist.”

    (My friend has a really good sense of humor and appreciates a good joke. As we’re leaving, we tip the waitress and he gives an extra tip to the bus girl as well.)

    Can’t Quite Put His Finger On It

    | Phoenix, AZ, USA | Employees, Food & Drink

    (My sister and I are dining at a restaurant. We are seated next to the soda dispenser.)

    Sister: “Waiter, can I get a refill?”

    Waiter: “Sure.”

    (The waiter pinches the mouth of my sister’s glass and refills her soda. We see that because of the way he is holding the drink his fingers have touched the liquid. The waiter returns with my sister’s drink.)

    Sister: “I’m sorry, but did you put your fingers in the soda?”

    (I believe the waiter has misheard because he gives her a very puzzled look and then puts one of his fingers into her soda.)

    Me: “Um… she was saying that you put your fingers into her soda when you were refilling it.”

    Waiter: *goes wide-eyed as this dawns on him* “Oh! Sorry!”

    (He sheepishly took his finger out of the drink, then went back to the soda dispensers to get my sister a new glass, making sure to watch where his fingers ended up.)

    Not Warming Up To The Service

    | NH, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (I have ordered a large cheese pizza and a two-liter bottle of soda. When the delivery person shows up he only has the insulated pizza carrying bag.)

    Me: “Uhm… I had ordered a bottle of soda, too?”

    Driver: “Yeah, I got it.”

    (With that, he proceeds to take my now lukewarm bottle of coke and my now lukewarm pizza out of the same insulated bag.)

    Me: “Why would you put a cold bottle of coke and a hot pizza in the same insulated bag?”

    Driver: “Well, it’s easier to carry that way.”

    Me: “Don’t you think it defeats the purpose of using an insulated bag if you put hot and cold things in it together?”

    Driver: “But… it’s easier to carry!”

    Little Yellow Lies

    | Telford, England, UK | Employees, Food & Drink, Health & Body, History, School, Tourists & Travel

    (I work as a magical clown at a theme park aimed at children aged eight and under. Between shows I wander around the park chatting to everyone, drumming up interest for my next performance. The weather this day has quite a bit of rain. I happen to pass by the medieval castle where a small party of school children are standing under the parapet. Their escort, a cast member dressed as Captain Hook, is trying to stop them from doing something.)

    Captain Hook: “Stop that. It’s not clean!”

    (The children are stood under some guttering that is leaking. The rain run-off from the parapet is flowing out of the gap in the guttering, and into the mouths of the children stood below.)

    Captain Hook: “Please, stop it!”

    Kid #1: “It’s just rain water.”

    Me: “Hey kids!” *they turn and look at me* “You see Robin Hood and his friends up there?”

    (I point up to the top of the castle, where cast members dressed as Robin Hood and his merry men are placed.)

    Kids: “Yeah?”

    Me: “Well, they live up there on the tower. They don’t have a toilet up there, unfortunately, so when they need to go for a wee, where do you think they go?”

    Kid #2: “Over the wall?”

    Me: “No, they go on the floor. Now, all that wee then runs off through the gaps in the wall into the guttering…”

    Kids: “Oh…” *realizes* “EWWWWW!” *cue much spitting*

    Me: *to Captain Hook* “Lying to kids is the best part of my job!”

    Got The Meat And Potatoes Of The Meaning

    | CT, USA | Coworkers, Food & Drink, Language & Words, Religion

    (My Muslim coworker from Bangladesh has brought in food for lunch for our group. Afterwards she and I are talking about ethnic foods and meat content. She brought up how a lot of Indian food doesn’t have meat because the Muslim population doesn’t eat pork and the Hindu population doesn’t eat beef.)

    Me: “Yeah, Indian is the only type of food that I really enjoy vegetarian entrees. Most other foods are boring without meat.”

    Coworker: “Oh, I know! I can’t eat a meal without meat in it!”

    Me: “Yeah. Me, too. I’m a cannibal.”

    (There is what feels like a long pause as I realize what I said, when what I’d meant to say was carnivore. Embarrassed beyond belief, and hoping nobody in our very open environment overheard and thought I was serious, she asks:)

    Coworker: “Cannibal means you eat meat, right?”

    (English is not her native language, and I can understand how cannibal might not be in her vocabulary yet. I quickly correct myself and explain the meaning of carnivore vs. cannibal, with a little explanation of herbivore and omnivore for good measure. Once I finally shut up and look to see if she understands, she comes up with the best response possible.)

    Coworker: “Well, it’s still meat.”


    Page 2/7812345...Last
    « Previous Page
    Next Page »