• Very Genderal Humor
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    Category: Food & Drink

    Trouble Brewing

    Cambridge, England, UK | Coworkers, Food & Drink

    (My general manager is great fun but known for being somewhat bad at planning. Every quarter we get sent some money from corporate to spend on a staff meet and a considerable amount of booze is always drunk. My colleague and I are discussing the upcoming meet for which our general manager suggested we arrange a tour of one of the breweries whose beer we stock.)

    Colleague: “Apparently for our staff meet we’re having a little barbecue in the park.”

    Me: “I thought we were doing the brewery tour?”

    Colleague: “Oh, yeah, we were going to but [General Manager] couldn’t get things together in time.”

    Me: “So he literally couldn’t organise a piss up in a brewery?”


    | Berkeley, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

    (I’m on a first date. Just as we are finishing our meal, a waiter walks by with a carafe of beer, stumbles, and drops it on me, soaking me from head to toe.)

    Date: *staring in horror, afraid I’m going to start screaming* “Are you okay?”

    Me: *laughing too hard to respond, I just wave my hands at him*

    (I get napkins handed me from tables all around – because the waiter has run off – and dry off as best as I can. We make plans to walk around while I dry off, so I don’t soak my car. Then the bill arrives…)

    Date: “Umm… you charged us full price?”

    Waiter: “Yes. Why wouldn’t I?”

    Date: “Maybe because you soaked her in someone else’s beer?”

    Waiter: “You didn’t complain. I can’t do anything about it.”

    (We insist on speaking to a manager, who comes over.)

    Manager: “I can’t give you a discount. Do you want some more rolls?”

    Me: “No, we’re full. That’s why we asked for the bill.”

    Manager: “Well, how about a free drink?”

    Me: “No thanks, I already had one!”

    (And yes, they charged us full price after all that. We found the owner on the way out and he blew us off, too.)

    The Personal Pizza Touch

    | Baraboo, WI, USA | Awesome Workers, Food & Drink

    (I start working at a local take-and-bake pizza place, and instantly become good friends with my boss. A few months after I started working there, my husband gets sick and has to stop working, as do I to care for him. I walk into the pizza place with $5 to my name to get my children some dinner.)

    Boss: “What pizza do you want?”

    Me: “Just a $5 [Specialty Pizza].”

    Boss: “Why not let the kids pick [Personal Pizzas] for themselves?”

    Me: “Because I only have $5, so the $2.50 pizza with my discount is literally all I can afford right now…”

    Boss: “You come with me!”

    (She takes us into the back and gives each of my children their own personal pizza and one pizza for my husband and me.)

    Boss: “Enjoy your dinner, and have a great night!”

    (It wasn’t much, but that pizza got us two full meals and through a rough time.)

    Spicey Confrontation

    | MI, USA | Employees, Food & Drink, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (This takes place in a popular sandwich place where you can customize your order.)

    Me: “Hello, I’d like a foot-long Italian bread with ham, toasted please, no cheese.”

    Worker #1: “What kind of sandwich?”

    (Thinking I spoke too fast I repeat part of the order.)

    Me: “Foot-long Italian with ham.”

    Worker #1: “What bread?”

    Me: “Italian foot-long.”

    Worker #1: “Six-inch or foot-long?”

    Me: *slightly irritated* “Foot-long.”

    Worker #1: “What meat?”

    Me: “Ham.”

    Worker #1: “You said mozzarella cheese right?”

    Me: “No cheese.”

    Worker #1: “Pepperjack?”

    Me: “No. Cheese.”

    Worker #1: “No need to get huffy, geez! Do you want it toasted?”

    Me: “Yes, please.”

    (Worker #1 gives the sandwich to Worker #2 for toppings… untoasted. I gave up at that point.)

    Worker #2: “What toppings do you want?”

    Me: *very slowly hoping this part goes well* “Pickles… olives… banana peppers…”

    (Worker #2 grabs for the jalapeños.)

    Me: “No! Those are jalapeños!”

    Worker #2: “What’s the difference!”

    Me: “Banana peppers are those yellow ones. When I eat spicy foods I have a weird reaction. My throat swells up!”

    Worker #2: “Yeah, right, that’s ridiculous! Who is allergic to that?! That’s like saying you’re allergic to the cold or something!”

    Me: “…I’m allergic to the cold.”

    (I actually am; it’s a rare allergy where I get hives.)

    Worker #2: “Whatever. There. I made your sandwich.”

    (When I got home, I took a bite and my throat started swelling. Sure enough, it had jalapeños.)

    Penny Dreadful Service

    | New Orleans, LA, USA | Bad Behavior, Bosses & Owners, Employees, Food & Drink

    (My older sister and I are at a fine dining restaurant and have ordered a bottle of wine with our meal. The server is terribly slow the entire meal but this is the breaking point.)

    Server: *clearing off the table after we had been finished at least a half hour* “Will there be anything else?”

    Sister: “Yes, we’ll take the rest of the bottle of wine with us.”

    (The bottle is less than halfway full. The server picks up the bottle from the wine cart and turns it upside down in the ice bucket it was in, emptying the contents. He then hands my sister the empty bottle. After that he brings the bill and we pay in cash, but my sister leaves a single penny on the tray.)

    Sister: “Oh, this is for you.”

    Server: *seeing the penny* “What?!”

    My Sister: “Yes. For you.”

    (The server storms off. The manager comes over, almost crying because she’s laughing so hard.)

    Manager: “You actually offered him a penny?”

    Me: “It was more than he deserved. We’ve been here over two hours thanks to him.”

    Manager: “And you already paid?”

    My Sister: “Yes.”

    Manager: “I’m sorry about that. Please come back again and we’ll make things right.”

    (We never saw that server again!)

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