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  • Swearing You Into A Job
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  • Category: Food & Drink

    Party Of Five

    | UK | Awesome Workers, Employees, Food & Drink, Top

    (I am 11 years old and ‘shopping’ (i.e. looking round) with four friends. It’s a very hot day so we decide to pool our money and get a milkshake to share.)

    Me: “Can we have a vanilla milkshake please? And, um, five straws?”

    Barista: “Okay! ”

    (The barista makes our milkshake… then another one… and another… until there are five. My friends and I fidget nervously, thinking she misheard us.)

    Me: “Umm… actually we asked for—”

    Barista: *interrupts* “That’s [price for one milkshake], please!”

    Me: “I- um- oh! Okay! Thank you so much!”

    Barista: “You’re welcome! That’s my good deed for the day!”

    (It was only a small thing but I’ll never forget the day we got five milkshakes for the price of one!)

    Pink Eye Or The Pink Slip

    , | USA | Bosses & Owners, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Health & Body, Top

    (I have recently come down with pink eye, which is very contagious. Since I work around food and people all day, I decide it’s best to call into work. The lunch manager tells me I’m not allowed to call in or she’ll have me fired, so I decide to wear an eye patch to work instead. About ten minutes after I clock in, the morning manager notices me.)

    Morning Manager: “[My Name], what’s wrong with your eye?”

    Me: “Oh, I have pink eye.”

    (The manager and any nearby employees leap back from me like I have the plague.)

    Morning Manager: “Why didn’t you call in? That’s contagious! You’re not allowed to work in that condition!”

    Me: “But [Lunch Manager] said she’d have me fired if I didn’t show up.”

    Morning Manager: “No. Don’t touch anything and get your things. I will clock you out myself. Go home, get some rest, and don’t you dare step back into this store until you have recovered. I will deal with [Lunch Manager].”

    (When I eventually got back to work I was not in trouble. But as punishment for making me come in, the lunch manager was forced to clean and sanitize everything I had touched that morning. At least she never threatened to fire me for calling in sick again!)

    How To Cheese Someone Off

    | Miami, FL, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (The restaurant is basically in the middle of nowhere, and the server is really snotty and rude. I’m here with my grandparents.)

    Server: “What do you want to eat?”

    Grandpa: “I’ll have a bacon and Swiss sandwich.”

    Server: “We have white cheese and we have yellow cheese.”

    Missing A Major Minor Point, Part 2

    | Lancaster, PA, USA | Employees, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Ignoring/Inattentive, Themed Giveaway

    (My two daughters and I stop for lunch at a restaurant that serves alcohol. I’m 36 years old; my girls are 10 and 14.)

    Server: “Hi, welcome to [Restaurant]. Can I start you guys off with something to drink?”

    Me: “Yeah, that’d be great. I’ll have a beer, and those two will have a couple of sodas.”

    Server: “Nope. Sorry, you kids need to leave. You can’t be in here.”

    Me: “Well, they’re with me. They should be fine.”

    Server: “I need to see everybody’s ID!”

    (I show her my driver’s license.)

    Server: “Now you two. Show me some ID!”

    Me: “Miss, they’re 10 and 14. They’re not trying to buy alcohol, and they’re with me. They don’t have, and don’t need, ID.”

    Server: “Well, YOU can stay, but if you’re going to be drinking alcohol, they need to leave.”

    Me: “Wait. What? Why on earth would my kids need to leave just because I’d like to have a beer with lunch? Look, I’ll just have a soda.”

    Server: *rolls eyes* “Ugh! Because it’s against the law for me to serve alcohol to you when there are kids with you, even if you are 21, and what do you mean by ‘your kids’?”

    Me: “I mean they’re my kids: my daughters. I’m their dad.”

    Server: “No, they’re not. You’re too young to have kids.” *walks away*

    Me: “You know what, girls? Let’s get out of here and go someplace else.”

    (Just as we’re getting up to leave the manager comes storming up to us.)

    Manager: “Whoa, whoa, whoa! I don’t know what you three think you’re trying to pull, but I want everybody to get their IDs out. NOW!”

    (At this point we should just leave, but I’m irritated that this guy thinks we’re, in his words, ‘trying to pull something.’)

    Me: “Look, here’s my ID and I already explained to your server that my kids are 10 and 14 years old. They don’t have ID. I’m not sure I understand why they can’t be in here.”

    Manager: “They can’t be in here without parental supervision. Are you telling me they’re your kids?”

    Me: “Yes. I’ve been saying that all along.”

    Manager: “Your biological kids?”

    Me: “Seriously? Yes, they’re my biological kids”

    Manager: *begrudgingly* “Well, I guess you guys can stay.”

    (At this point the server is standing there with our drinks. Surprisingly, she brought me the beer.)

    Server: “I guess I can let you have this now. Just make sure you keep it away from those two kids.”

    Related:
    Missing A Major Minor Point

    Adding Some Background To The Situation

    | IN, USA | Food & Drink, New Hires, Top

    (I drive by a Taco Bell.)

    Sign Outside: “Now hiring managers.”

    (Two weeks later…)

    Sign Outside: “Now hiring managers. Background checks required.”


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