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    Category: Food & Drink

    That Description Is Not Kosher

    | Scotts Valley, CA, USA | Employees, Food & Drink, Holidays, Ignoring/Inattentive, Religion

    (It is mid December and Hanukkah is approaching.)

    Me: “Excuse me, do you carry Hanukkah candles?”

    Employee: “Yeah, they’re down here with all this weird stuff.”

    (She leads me down an aisle and points out the candles. The ‘weird stuff’ turned out to be Gefilte fish, matzo, matzo meal, latke mix, etc…)

    Me: “Ma’am, that weird stuff is what we Jewish people call food. “

    Not A-Bun-dantly Clear

    | NH, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Employees, Food & Drink

    (It is the height of the Atkins diet craze and my wife and I have just ordered lunch.)

    Food Runner: “What can I get you?”

    Wife: “I will have a hamburger.”

    Food Runner: “And what toppings?”

    Wife: “None, just plain.”

    (I see a food runner walk by with a couple of plates including one with a hamburger patty.)

    Me: “Looks like someone is on the Atkins diet!”

    Wife: *laughs* “I can’t believe people and fad diets!”

    Food Runner: *turns around and comes back to our table* “I have a chicken salad and a hamburger.”

    Me: “Uhm… don’t hamburgers usually come with a bun?”

    Food Runner: “You wanted it on a bun?”

    Me: “Well, I didn’t specifically ask for one but I kind of assumed hamburgers usually come on buns.”

    (Turns out our waiter had written ‘plain hamburger’ on the ticket and the cook decided to take it to the extreme!)

    The Customer Is Always Right… Behind The Counter

    , | Orem, UT, USA | Bosses & Owners, Employees, Food & Drink

    (I recently quit working at a popular smoothie chain, but would sometimes stop in for breakfast on my way to class. The manager is the only person in the store at this time, and is running behind on the opening procedures. There are no other customers.)

    Manager: “[My Name], you can just ring yourself up really quick and I’ll make your order.”

    Me: “Okay, as long as it doesn’t get you in trouble.”

    (I step behind the counter and put in my order. Just then another customer comes in. He witnessed our interaction, and is clearly confused.)

    Manager: “Wanna ring him up for old time’s sake?”

    Me: *to the customer* “Welcome to [Store Name]. What can I get for you today?”

    (The manager makes both our orders, and I walk to class laughing at how it must have looked to the customer to see another customer go behind the counter and ring their own order up.)

    A Lack Of Military Intelligence

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Bad Behavior, Employees, Food & Drink

    (I am a female active duty sailor, eating out with my boyfriend. As I order a drink with our meal I give the waitress my military ID to verify my age.)

    Waitress: “Is this a joke?”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Waitress: “Do you think I’m stupid? This can’t be real!”

    Me: “Um, no, it’s real. Why wouldn’t it be?”

    Waitress: “My boyfriend is in the Marines. I know women aren’t allowed to be active duty! This is a fake. You’re probably trying to scam a military discount out of us.”

    Me: “No, women aren’t allowed in spec-ops or on submarines yet, but there’s a f***-ton of us in other jobs. I’m an engineer on a carrier and that is NOT fake. Give it back. I’ll just use my driver’s license.”

    Waitress: “No can do.”

    (She proceeds to whip a massive pair of shears out of her apron and cut my ID in half.)

    Me: “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”

    (A manager that hears me yell comes over immediately.)

    Manager: “What’s the problem here?

    Me: “Your waitress just cut my military ID in half because, apparently, women can’t serve.”

    Manager: “Oh, my god. I’m very sorry, ma’am. Your meal is on us tonight.” *he glares at the waitress* “My office. Now.”

    (The waitress got chewed out and we got coupons towards another meal on top of free food. Both my boyfriend and my division officer thought the whole thing was hilarious.)

    They’ll Have Your Skin For This

    | Dunedin, New Zealand | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers, Food & Drink

    (I work in a very depressing call centre. One of my friends is moving desks so as a joke I tape a banana to the underside of his desk so he would find it while he was cleaning. He ends up not moving. About a year later, after I had completely forgotten about it…)

    Coworker: “What the h*** is this?”

    (He held up a shriveled black banana skin. I don’t want to know where the actual banana I left in the skin went.)


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