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  • Being Sweet When You’re Sixteen
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  • Category: Food & Drink

    Sippy Cup Or Tipsy Cup

    | Columbus, OH, USA | Coworkers, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (I’m waiting on a table with a small child, whose parents order her a virgin strawberry daiquiri. I’m in a hurry and forget to make a note to the bartender to put it in a children’s cup. Sure enough, when I go to check on the table, the child has spilled her drink all over the table.)

    Me: *as I’m cleaning up* “Oh god, I’m sorry. I should have told the bartender to put that in a kid’s cup. That’s my fault. I apologize. Let me go have the bartender make a new one in a cup with a lid.”

    (I head to the bar.)

    Me: “I need a new virgin daiquiri in a kid’s cup—”

    Bartender: “Ring it up.”

    Me: “No. I just need you to make another one. My kid spilled the first one.”

    Bartender: “I haven’t made any virgin daiquiris.”

    (As he’s the only bartender, I’m confused.)

    Me: “Yes, you have. You made one for me five minutes ago.”

    Bartender: “You didn’t ring in any virgin daiquiri.”

    Me: “Yes, I did! You put it up and stuck my ticket on it and I took it to my table!”

    Bartender: “No. I never got a ticket for a virgin daiquiri!”

    Me: “Yes, you did!” *I pick up the basket where we keep the tickets for drinks that have gone out and find mine* “See? Right here!”

    Bartender: *stares at the ticket* “Oh…”

    Me: *getting it, horrified* “Did you just give RUM to a FIVE YEAR OLD?!”

    Bartender: “One virgin daiquiri in a kid’s cup coming up!”

    Should Have Espresso’d It Clearer

    , | MA, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Food & Drink, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (I get a pound of coffee from the display in front and take it up to the counter.)

    Me: “Good morning. May I have a bacon wrap and a medium cappuccino with an extra shot of espresso?”

    (Cappuccino is normally made with espresso, but I’m requesting extra.)

    Cashier: “Bacon wrap?”

    Me: “Yes, please.”

    Cashier: “Is that bacon, egg, and cheese?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Cashier: “Okay, and what else?”

    Me: “Medium cappuccino with an extra espresso shot.”

    Cashier: “Okay…” *looks at register for several seconds and doesn’t press anything* “I’ll make it.”

    (While the cashier tries to work out how to make my drink, another worker calls out to me.)

    Worker: “What kind of bagel was that, ma’am?”

    Me: “Oh,it was actually a bacon wrap.”

    (The worker nods, and then shows the cashier how to make a cappuccino.)

    Cashier: *rings up a medium coffee* “$5.39 please.”

    Me: “Oh you’ve actually charged me for—”

    Cashier: “Oh I know! The wrong coffee.” *very cheerful about it and apparently not going to correct it*

    Me: “And you’ve charged me for a bagel instead of a wrap.”

    Cashier: “Oh! Sorry. $3.47.”

    Me: “You know you didn’t charge me enough for the cappuccino?”

    Cashier: “Oh… [Coworker], how do you ring up a cappuccino?”

    Coworker: “There’s a cappuccino button.”

    Cashier: *rings it up* “Okay! $4.37.”

    Me: “And the espresso?”

    Cashier: “Oh right. I didn’t put it in yet. Coworker, she wanted a shot of espresso!”

    Coworker: “Another one?”

    Cashier: *to me* “We already put it in.”

    (I’m not sure if she means that she added an extra shot or just what normally comes in it, but I just nod. She rings up a 49-cent shot, although the menu says they are 99 cents. I don’t correct it because 50 cents isn’t worth any more confusion.)

    Cashier: “$4.89 please.”

    Me: “And the pound of coffee…”

    Sour Patch Orphans

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers, Food & Drink

    (I am putting away the bulk candy bins at our movie theater and one of my coworkers make an observation about one of the candies.)

    Coworker: “I can’t believe all the salt on these Sour Patch Kids.”

    Me: “What? Salt? That’s not salt. That’s sugar.”

    Coworker: “Then what makes them so bitter?”

    Me: “I don’t know. Loneliness, despair, general sadness…”

    Can’t Get Pasteurized Past Her Eyes

    | Jerusalem, Israel | Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Themed Giveaway

    (My wife is a big fan of specialty cheeses, and she likes when I surprise her with new ones she’s never tried before. She’s currently pregnant, so I need to be careful not to buy her unpasteurized cheese.)

    Me: *pointing to a random cheese I’ve never heard of* “Is that cheese pasteurized?”

    Deli Worker: “It’s goat cheese.”

    Me: “Yes, but is it pasteurized?”

    Deli Worker: “It’s goat cheese.”

    Me: “I know it’s goat cheese. I’m asking if it’s pasteurized or not.”

    Deli Worker: *stares blankly*

    Me: “Some cheeses are pasteurized, others aren’t. I need to know if that one is or not.”

    Deli Worker: “I don’t know what ‘pasteurized’ is. It’s goat cheese.”

    (I give up and just buy some brie, because unlike most of the cheeses in the display I could read its ingredient label through the glass. How somebody who’s been selling cheeses for years doesn’t know what pasteurization means, I have no idea!)

    A Total Basket Case

    | Pigeon Forge, TN, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (My family and I decide to stop at a moon pie store.  They are running a special: 12 mini moon pies from a bushel basket of assorted flavors with a specialty commemorative box purchase.  It seems like a good deal, but the bushel basket is running low on the chocolate ones.  There are a lot of full cardboard boxes next to the basket (12 to a box), so I pick up one of the chocolate full boxes and carry it with the commemorative box to the counter.)

    Me: “Since the basket is running low and I want all chocolate, can I just take the full cardboard box and empty commemorative box for the deal price?”

    Clerk: “No, the mini pies need to come from the basket.”

    Me: “Yes, but there aren’t 12 chocolate pies in the basket.”

    (The clerk then proceeds to take the cardboard box from my hand, open it, and then dump it in the basket.)

    Clerk: “There, there are now there are enough in the basket.”

    Me:  *facepalm*


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