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    Category: Food & Drink

    A Lack Of Military Intelligence

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Bad Behavior, Employees, Food & Drink

    (I am a female active duty sailor, eating out with my boyfriend. As I order a drink with our meal I give the waitress my military ID to verify my age.)

    Waitress: “Is this a joke?”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Waitress: “Do you think I’m stupid? This can’t be real!”

    Me: “Um, no, it’s real. Why wouldn’t it be?”

    Waitress: “My boyfriend is in the Marines. I know women aren’t allowed to be active duty! This is a fake. You’re probably trying to scam a military discount out of us.”

    Me: “No, women aren’t allowed in spec-ops or on submarines yet, but there’s a f***-ton of us in other jobs. I’m an engineer on a carrier and that is NOT fake. Give it back. I’ll just use my driver’s license.”

    Waitress: “No can do.”

    (She proceeds to whip a massive pair of shears out of her apron and cut my ID in half.)

    Me: “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”

    (A manager that hears me yell comes over immediately.)

    Manager: “What’s the problem here?

    Me: “Your waitress just cut my military ID in half because, apparently, women can’t serve.”

    Manager: “Oh, my god. I’m very sorry, ma’am. Your meal is on us tonight.” *he glares at the waitress* “My office. Now.”

    (The waitress got chewed out and we got coupons towards another meal on top of free food. Both my boyfriend and my division officer thought the whole thing was hilarious.)

    They’ll Have Your Skin For This

    | Dunedin, New Zealand | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers, Food & Drink

    (I work in a very depressing call centre. One of my friends is moving desks so as a joke I tape a banana to the underside of his desk so he would find it while he was cleaning. He ends up not moving. About a year later, after I had completely forgotten about it…)

    Coworker: “What the h*** is this?”

    (He held up a shriveled black banana skin. I don’t want to know where the actual banana I left in the skin went.)

    Going Going Gone

    , | Rosemont, IL, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Employees, Food & Drink, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (I’m in the DRIVE-THRU.)

    Cashier: “So that was a number five with a sweet tea. Anything else?”

    Me: “No, thanks. That’s all.”

    Cashier: “Will that be for here or to go?”

    Me: “to… go…?”

    An Overriding Sense Of Fashion

    | OH, USA | Awesome Workers, Employees, Food & Drink

    (I go to a clothing store often enough that most employees know my face. I come in one day looking rough.)

    Employee: “Hey, girl, what’s got you down?”

    Me: “Got dumped this morning. Didn’t wanna be stuck home and miserable. Got any sales this week?”

    Employee: *hugs me* “Girl, you’ll find someone better. Here, let’s pick out a couple things.”

    (We went through different shirts, pants, and other things before I decide on a complete outfit. We head over to the register to check out.)

    Employee: “Your total is $17.”

    Me: “Wait… the shirt alone is over $20…”

    Employee: “Well, I did an override and gave it the clearance pricing.”

    Me: “What? Why?”

    Employee: “You got dumped, that’s why. Hey, go on over to [Chocolate Store] and buy yourself something good.”

    (I thank her and leave. I go back a couple weeks later with my new girlfriend. The same employee is working, and I wave.)

    Employee: “Hey- Oh my god, is she your girlfriend?”

    Me: “Huh? Oh, yeah. She’s been here a bit—”

    Employee: “See? I told you that you’d find someone better! Now, what are you two looking for?”

    (I’ve been back several times, and the same employee has been happy to see me.)

    When Hunger Bugs You

    | VA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Food & Drink, Pets & Animals

    (At my pet store we sell crickets which many animals, such as lizards, use as a staple in their diet. We are encouraged to chat with the customers to make them feel welcome. The following conversation happens while I am putting crickets in a bag for a customer.)

    Customer: “Do you have any reptiles yourself?”

    Me: “No, but I have nine hermit crabs and their care is very similar to the reptiles at the store. Do you have any critters yourself?”

    Customer: “No, I just felt hungry…”

    Me: *speechless*

    Customer: “That’s not what I meant! I stopped by [Popular Fast Food Restaurant] and decided to get some crickets for my son’s bearded dragon.”

    Me: *hands him bag of crickets while laughing*


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