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    Category: Food & Drink

    Like They Were Just Fertilised Yesterday

    | Australia | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I’m a registered nurse and I work with a fairly large team of other health professionals including dietitians, physiotherapists, speech pathologists, etc. Clearly these are relatively clever people who have attended university to gain a degree in their respective fields. We are talking about food one day:)

    Other Health Professional: “I don’t eat eggs.”

    Me: “Why not?”

    Other Health Professional: “It’s like eating baby chickens.”

    Me: “You get that the eggs that you buy in the supermarket aren’t actually fertilised so aren’t actually baby chickens right?”

    Other Health Professional: “Actually, I only just found that out the other day.”

    Me: “You actually thought all eggs were baby chickens?”

    Other Health Professional: “Yeah!”

    Has A No-Drinking Problem

    | Stratford-Upon-Avon, Warwick, England, UK | Food & Drink, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (I’m working behind the tills, and it’s getting close to the end of my shift. I started getting thirsty not one hour in, and after three hours I’m absolutely parched. The next customer rolls in, and I try to concentrate.)

    Me: “Hi, would you like a drink?”

    Customer: “…What?”

    Me: *penny drops* “Oh, god! I meant would you like a bag!”

    (The customer and I share a laugh, I try to explain myself, and she encourages me to get some water. I do exactly that, the minute that I’m able.)

    Unwanted Reaction To The Joke

    | WA, USA | Employees, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (I’m at a popular burger chain with my boyfriend. Due to allergies, I can’t have mayo. I order some food, and when I order my burger…)

    Me: “And no mayo on the [burger], please.”

    Cook: *pops out of the kitchen* “Extra mayo, then!”

    (I know he’s joking, but I give him the most dead serious look.)

    Me: “I will vomit on every surface I can if you give me mayo.”

    Cook: “…No mayo it is.”

    Only Likes Seoul Food

    , | GA, USA | Employees, Food & Drink

    (I’m the customer in this story. I am at a mall food court on a slow weekday and go to the Chinese fast food place.)

    Me: “Is [one of the entrees] any good?”

    Asian Lady Behind Counter: “I’m sorry, I don’t know. I don’t like Chinese food.”

    Me: “…”

    Asian Lady Behind Counter: “I’m Korean.”

    Sweet Slice Of Karma

    | England, UK | Bad Behavior, Coworkers, Food & Drink

    (One of the guys at work has an annoying habit of offering out food other people have brought in. I’ve never said anything before, but I’ve always felt that he oversteps the mark. One day, we have a little get together for one of the guys that is leaving that day.)

    Me: *out loud* “Why is there cake missing?”

    Coworker: “Oh, I gave a bit to one of the shop-floor guys.”

    Me: “What? You do realise this was for [Other Worker], who is leaving?”

    Coworker: “Yeah, well, it was on the side so…”

    Me: “So you just decided to give away something that wasn’t yours?”

    Coworker: *defensively* “It doesn’t matter.”

    Me: “Of course it matters. How would you feel to be given half a cake?”

    Coworker: “Well, whatever.” *stomps out*

    Other Coworker: “Well I’m glad you said something. That was totally out of line.”

    (By the time he has finished pouting and returned to the office, the leaving worker has turned up and we have started dishing up the cake and handing over the card.)

    Coworker: “Where’s mine?”

    Me: “The cake? Funny thing is that is was already cut into exactly the right amount of pieces for everyone. For some reason when I got round to you there was some missing.”

    Coworker: “You bunch of a**-holes.”

    (Just like that, without even a word of congratulation to the guy on his last day, he stomped out again.)


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