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    Category: Food & Drink

    Paid His Burger Tax

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Bad Behavior, Bosses & Owners, Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink, New Hires, Theme Of The Month

    (I am offered a job over the phone. The manager tells me to come in the next day. When I get there he tells me he will pay me under the table $9 an hour (min wage is $11) and tries to argue that he is paying more than minimum wage because there are no taxes. Even at $11 an hour, I would not be earning nearly enough to be taxable. About a half hour into me doing basically all grubby kitchen tasks (cleaning, washing dishes, taking out garbage, restocking fridge, etc):)

    Manager: “Would you like something to eat? You can have anything on the menu for free.”

    Me: “No, thanks. I’m not hungry right now.”

    (The manager continues to offer at 10 minute increments for the next hour and a half, while I start to get very uncomfortable that this job is under the table for an exploitative wage doing gross work and therefore he doesn’t have any responsibility if I get hurt, which is very possible.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t think this will work out. I have to leave now.”

    Manager: “Oh, that’s okay. I can’t pay you for only two hours but come back for that meal anytime.”

    (Two weeks later:)

    Me: “Hey man.”

    Manager: “Hey.” *recognizes me* “So, what can I get you?”

    Me: “Just a burger, please.”

    Manager: “$4.50, please.”

    Me: “I thought you said I could have it for free because of those two hours of free work I did for you.”

    Manager: “Do you know what food costs? I can’t just give it away for free.”

    Me: “Do you know what my work costs if you bother to make it legal? I think I’m entitled to a burger. And, yeah, I’d ballpark the patty, bun, and toppings at about 1.50 tops.”

    Manager: “Was this your plan? You respond to my ad, stay for less than a shift, all to try to get free food? This is a business here!”

    Me: “Yeah, that’s what I do. I go around to restaurants and pretend I’m looking for a job all so I can get free hamburgers. Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to get my lunch somewhere else!”

    (I emptied his tip jar into my pocket to pay for my two hours and walked out the door.)

    ID Checks Are Complimentary

    , | Wellington, New Zealand | Bosses & Owners, Food & Drink

    (The drinking age in NZ is 18. If you look under 25, we have to ID you. We have a liquor warden who has final call on all alcohol sales: how drunk someone is, lack of ID, etc. My coworker has been checking the IDs of almost everybody today, just to be safe, and also because it leads to some fun banter. The women in this story doesn’t look 17, but it would only take a little stretch to say they could be 25, so the ID check was arguably valid.)

    Woman #1: “Can I get two red wines?”

    Coworker: “Two pinot noirs? Certainly. May I see your IDs?”

    Woman #1: *speechless and laughing* “I… my ID? But I don’t have it!”

    Coworker: I’m sorry, ma’am but if you look under 25…”

    Woman #2: *disbelieving laughter* “I’m 35! And this is my older sister! You are going to be so embarrassed when you see her ID…”

    Woman #1: *laughing* “I don’t have my license with me; I don’t carry my wallet everywhere, you know?”

    Woman #2: “…so, so embarrassed…”

    (I see our liquor warden standing to the side. He had been talking to the boss and the big boss, so all three of them are now watching the proceedings with interest and amusement.)

    Coworker: “Well, I, um…” *calls out* “Hey, liquor man! Do these women look under 25?!”

    (Everyone in the area freezes, the women looking towards the bosses, the bosses looking at the women, and me looking back and forth between them. After several long seconds we all burst into laughter.)

    Big Boss: “Well, I can either compliment you or deny you alcohol!”

    A Popcorn Float

    | NJ, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Employees, Food & Drink

    (My friends and I are going to see a new movie, and are waiting to buy some snacks. An employee calls over from another register and I go up to order.)

    Me: “Hi. One medium popcorn and a small soft drink.”

    Employee #1: “All righty.”

    (Another employee comes over and hands me my popcorn and drink.)

    Employee #2: *to first employee* “You know you’ve been working here too long when you try to put ice in a popcorn…”

    (I chuckle as I open the lid to add my protein supplement, then stop and look up at the employee.)

    Employee #1: “Anything wrong, sir?”

    Me: “There’s popcorn in my drink.”

    Bacon Begone

    , | London, UK | Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I am visiting London at a time when they are having a 99p sale on bacon double cheeseburgers. However, the “bacon” is a limp piece of meat instead of the crispy strip my American tastes prefer; furthermore, the bacon double is prepared with no condiments on it.)

    Me: “Can I just get a regular double cheeseburger for 99p? I don’t like the bacon double.”

    Cashier: “No, the double cheeseburgers are regular price.”

    Me: “But they’re basically the same thing. In fact, the regular double doesn’t have the bacon on it, so its ingredients probably cost less anyway.”

    Cashier: “I’m sorry, the double cheeseburger is regular price.”

    Me: “All right, then, I’ll order a bacon double. But can I get it ‘my way?'”

    Cashier: “Sure.”

    Me: “I’ll have ketchup on it.”

    Cashier: *typing this into the register* “Okay.”

    Me: “And mustard, please. And pickles.”

    Cashier: *also typing this into the register* “Okay.”

    Me: “And just one other change; hold the bacon.”

    (The cashier instantly realizes what I’ve done and gives me a dirty look. But I got my 99p regular double cheeseburger!)

    The Customer Service Is Baloney

    , | Australia | Coworkers, Food & Drink

    (Sometimes we get customers who don’t realise that we have so many variations of different meats. This happens on a day when my coworker is tired and on her last nerve, and is therefore being rather unhelpful.)

    Customer: “I’d like some of that one, please.”

    Coworker: “Which one?”

    Customer: “The salami.”

    Coworker: “Which one?”

    Customer: “The mild.”

    Coworker: “Which one?”

    Customer: *irked* “The Hungarian.”

    Coworker: “Which one?”

    Customer: “Gah! The one that isn’t free range!”

    Coworker: *smiles brightly* “Coming right up, sir!”

    (The customer looked about ready to smash his head onto the counter. Occasionally when I order something from this coworker I’ll repeat the above conversation just for a laugh. For some reason she never finds it funny.)


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