Me: “Hey I’m gonna take my break now and go get some lunch. I’ll be back in 30. You want anything?”

Boss: “Um, you can’t just leave for half an hour! I’m not paying you to go hang out!”

(Sometimes my boss is really cool, but other times he can be a real jacka**.)

Me: “It’s not me. It’s the law.”

Boss: “No, you come back here and eat behind the counter!”

Me: “I’m okay with that, but why does it matter?”

Boss: “You have to be here in case we get a customer!”

Me: “I’m on my break. I’m not going to help any customers.”

Boss: “I do not understand this attitude! You are my employee and will do as I say! Unless you are tired of this job; in that case, you can just leave.”

(Note: my boss is not from America.)

Me: “Sir, I am in no way trying to be disrespectful. These are the labor laws in America.”

(His wife, who is American, comes back bathroom and has heard enough of the conversation to understand the issue.)

Boss’ Wife: *whispers into boss’s ear*

Boss: “Uh… okay. Go take your break… but do it behind the counter! ”

Me: *facepalm*

(I’m working as one of three cashiers for a buffet restaurant. None of us are allowed to leave the registers, even when it’s pretty dead. A manager stops by.)

Manager: “What are you losers just standing around for?”

Coworker #1: “Well, we aren’t allowed to leave the registers.”

Manager: “What, you don’t think I know that?! I’m the manager. You are the losers who work here. I mean, why would anyone WANT to work here unless they were too much of a LOSER to get hired somewhere else?”

Coworker #2: “Actually, all of us have second jobs.”

Manager: “EVERYONE WHO WORKS HERE IS A LOSER!” *stomps off*

Me: “Wait, so… he works here.”

(Two days later, I decide to quit. I go in to pick up my paycheck from the same manager, drop my uniform on the desk and start to leave.)

Manager: “Wait! You can’t quit. I put you on the schedule for this week! You have to let me know in advance if you’re quitting!”

Me: “Sorry, I thought only losers worked here, so guess I can’t!”

Employee: “Hi, can I help you?”

Me: “Hi, could I get 12 ounces of the salmon?”

Employee: “…Ounces?”

Me: “Oh, three-quarters of a pound?”

Employee: “Do you want more… or less… than half?”

Me: “…More. Three-fourths.”

Employee: *confused*

(I glance at the readout on the counter scale.)

Me: “Like, .75?”

Employee: “OH! .75! Why didn’t you just say so?”

(My coworker and I are both waiting on chicken burgers, for which there is a three minute wait. I only need one of the burgers while my coworker needs two. One that has been made for her is up.)

Me: “Hey [coworker], because you are waiting for a second chicken burger and I only need this one, can I have this one?”

Coworker: “No.”

Me: “Well, you’re waiting on the second one. So, it would be quicker for my customer if I took this one.”

Coworker: “I said no!”

Me: “So, you’re going to make both customers wait even though I can take that one?”

Coworker: “It’s MY burger!”

Me: “Yes, but then you could have mine.”

Coworker: “I DON’T CARE! THIS ONE IS MINE! YOU CAN’T HAVE MY BURGER! IT’S MINE!”

(At this point, all our coworkers in the back are watching. The customer in the drive-through also looks horrified, and the customers in the lobby are all staring.)

Me: “Okay…”

(The other two burgers come up; as I go to take one of the two fresh ones, my coworker snatches them both up first.)

Me: “…Those were mine.”

Coworker: “Whatever! Don’t be so childish!”

(Thankfully, my manager had some words with her and I got free food for trying to keep my calm and not raging.)

(I am in line buying food at one of my school’s cafeterias. I’ve had a pretty awful weekend after receiving some sad news, and am still feeling down.)

Cashier: “Hey, how are you?”

Me: “Okay. How was your weekend?”

Cashier: “Pretty boring. Yours?”

Me: *sort of laughing* “Pretty horrible, actually.”

Cashier: “Oh no, I’m sorry to hear that. I hope you’re okay.”

(I buy my food and sit down, but get back in line after deciding to get a smoothie as well. I approach the same cashier with my drink.)

Cashier: “It’s on me.”

Me: “Are you serious? Thank you so much!”

Cashier: “No problem. I hope you feel better!”

(After I finished my lunch, I bumped into him again. He’d just gotten off work and asked me what happened, then gave me a hug and told me to let him know if I need anything. I was still upset, but he really improved my day!)