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    Category: Food & Drink

    That’s What They Both Said

    | LA, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Food & Drink, Rude & Risque

    (I have just got off work on the overnight shift at a big box store. I am picking up a few grocery items before heading home. Among my items are a few cucumbers. The cashier ringing me up is a lady I was friendly with when I was a cashier a few years prior.)

    Cashier: “Oh, you making a salad when you get home?”

    Me: “Yeah. I like to eat something kinda light for my ‘dinner.’ I know its seven am but it’s dinner to me!”

    Cashier: “True. Wow, these cucumbers are huge!”

    Me: “Aren’t they? And those are two of the small ones. I don’t really like the big ones. The seeds are too big.”

    Cashier: “And see, me? I like the big ones! I like a lot of seeds in mine!”

    Me: “Well, go get you some when you get off. They are huge. I’m sure they’re full of seeds. And leave some little ones for me. These big ones are too much for me.”

    Cashier: “Oh, yeah, I was just thinking I’m gonna have to go get some of these big boys.”

    (I pay and gather my bags.)

    Me: “Thanks, you have a good day. Oh, and by the way… I can’t believe we just had that conversation with straight faces!”

    Cashier: *eyes get wide and bursts out laughing*

    Not The Right Four-titude For Service

    | Brisbane, QLD, Australia | At The Checkout, Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Math & Science

    (I am at a small takeaway store with my boyfriend getting dinner. We decide on our orders and it begins time for me to place my order.)

    Me: “Hi. How are you? Can I please get a small chips and eight cheesy nuggets?”

    Cashier: “I’m sorry. We only have packs of four nuggets.”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Cashier: “So, you can order four if you would like?”

    Me: “What’s four plus four?”

    Cashier: “Eight.”

    Me: “Correct! So I would like eight cheesy nuggets.”

    Cashier: “I can’t. I’m sorry.”

    (Giving up, I asked my boyfriend to order four so I could have the eight I wanted.)

    BLT: Better Luck Tomorrow

    | Derry, NH, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    Me: “Can I get a BLT on Italian herb bread, please”

    Worker: “Do you want anything on that, like lettuce or tomato?”

    Stamp Of Disapproval

    | England, UK | At The Checkout, Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (My favourite coffee shop doesn’t have a points card. Instead they have a cardboard card that they stamp. Unfortunately me being me, I would forget to get it stamped or leave it at home, so it has taken several months to fill it up. I’m two coffees away and I have just ordered two coffees.)

    Me: “Oh, my card.”

    (The barista looks at my card, looks at me, and looks at the coffees I’ve just ordered, stamps it twice, then instead of passing my card back to me, she takes a free coffee off my bill.)

    Me: “Thank you for not understanding your own policy of buy six get one free!”

    Less Calories, More Placebos

    | England, UK | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (Because we have to have a certain number of people in the room at all times, my coworker is covering my lunch.)

    Coworker: “Hey, are you off to the shop?”

    Me: “Yes, need something?”

    Coworker: “Can you pick me up another one of these?” *holds up half empty Pepsi Max bottle* “I don’t think it is going to last until the end of the day.”

    Me: “Er, sure, but you know we have juice, right?”

    Coworker: “Nah, I need the sugar.”

    Me: “Er… You know that doesn’t have any sugar in it?”

    Coworker: “Sugar, sweetener, same thing.”

    (I pick up her sugar-free sugarfix, which apparently was the pickup she needed.)


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