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    Category: Food & Drink

    Just Can’t Table This Discussion

    | OH, USA | Bosses & Owners, Food & Drink, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (I’m working at a family style restaurant as a server one night when the manager comes up to me looking angry.)

    Manager: “Why hasn’t table 32 gotten their drinks?”

    Me: “I’m not sure. I think that’s [Coworker]’s table; does she need help?”

    Manager: “Oh, I thought it was your table. Sorry.”

    (A few minutes later, he comes up to me again, looking frantic.)

    Manager: “Table 15 says they haven’t been seen by a server yet! Why haven’t you been taking care of them?”

    Me: “Because, that’s not my table. I have the 20s and 35. Not table 15.”

    Manager: “Are you sure?”

    Me: “Positive.”

    (About an hour goes by and we are swamped. Again the same manager comes back into the kitchen screaming for me.)

    Manager: “Why haven’t you taken table 54’s food out to them?”

    Me: “Because… it’s not my table.”

    (Apparently I’m supposed to run the whole restaurant.)

    Our Resident Idiot

    | Jensen Beach, FL, USA | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (We are dining room servers preparing for the dinner rush. Because the residents can be demanding and we are pressed for time I try to have their specific requests on the table by the time they sit down to eat. This has led to the residents feeling accustomed to this type of service, and my newer coworkers somehow being under the impression that I am the only one qualified to serve things such as salad and wine. It is ten minutes into the dinner when my coworker approaches me for this conversation.)

    Coworker: “Hey, [Resident] says you forgot his wine. How do I give it to him?”

    Me: “Oops. There are glasses in the back of the kitchen, and wine is in that cooler.” *points*

    Coworker: *blank stare* “Okay?”

    (He doesn’t move, and appears to be waiting for further instructions.)

    Me: “Go get a glass and pour in the wine. Serve the resident.”

    Her Brain Is Flat

    | Humboldt, IA, USA | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (Being early for my lunch shift at a ’50s diner, I have a seat with our retired cook who still does some grocery shopping for us. She’s a bit of a grouch, but I enjoy her company.)

    Coworker: *to cook*  “Would you like some more to drink?”

    Cook: “No, thanks, didn’t taste quite right today.”

    Me: *thinking she had her diet soda* “Is our machine losing carbonation again?”

    Cook: “No, I had a [cold tea drink] and it tasted like it wasn’t shook up or something.”

    (During this time my coworker, who likes to sound smart but is really a ditz, has taken a glass and tried some of the cold tea drink.)

    Coworker: “I don’t think it’s hooked up right. There’s no carbonation.”

    Me: “That’s fine. There shouldn’t be.”

    Coworker: “But it’s from a fountain. It should be carbonated.”

    Cook: “It’s tea. It shouldn’t be carbonated.”

    Coworker: “But it’s flat…”

    (At this point the phone rings and she leaves to take an order.)

    Me: “Can I kill her? She’s already brain dead.”

    Cook: “I’ll hide the body.”

    An Order That’s All Gravy

    , | AB, Canada | Employees, Food & Drink, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (Poutine is a very popular fast food item in Canada. It’s French fries covered in gravy and cheese curds. This happened at a world-famous fast food chain shortly after they added poutine to their menu.)

    Me: “Oh, and could I get gravy on my French fries?”

    Clerk: “We don’t sell French fries with gravy.”

    Me: “Uh… could I get poutine without the cheese?”

    Clerk: “No problem!”

    Too Chicken To Order The Veggies

    | Houghton, NY, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (My college fast food joint recently had a change in management. I am a vegetarian.)

    Cashier: “What can I get you?”

    Me: “Hi, can I have the veggie wrap?”

    Cashier: “Uh… I don’t think we have those.”

    Me: *surprised* “I’ve ordered them here before with no problem.”

    Cashier: “One moment.” *yells back to manager* “Can we make a veggie wrap?”

    Manager: *from back* “No! We only have a chicken wrap!”

    Cashier: *turns back to me* “Sorry, we don’t have those. I’m not sure why the previous owners were able to make one for you. We only have chicken wraps.”

    Me: “…Well, could I have a chicken wrap without the chicken?”

    Cashier: *wheels turning* “…Hey, [Manager], can we just do a chicken wrap without the chicken?”

    Manager: *silence* “Yeah, I guess we could do that!”

    Cashier: “Okay! What would you like on that?”

    (Every time I went there from then on, I had to specifically order ‘the chicken wrap without the chicken.’ Only ONE cashier in the next two years of me going to college there asked why I hadn’t just asked for a vegetable wrap.)


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