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    Category: Food & Drink

    In Top Tip Shape

    | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Food & Drink, Money

    (I’ve ordered pizza online, and selected to pay cash. I live in Australia, where tipping is not expected, ever. Correct change is also usually appreciated. Normally if I don’t have the right change, I will let the driver keep the difference. However, on this occasion I literally only have exactly the amount required.)

    Delivery Man: “That’s $24.85.”

    Me: *counting the money into his hand* “Here you go! $20, $4, and 85c.”

    Delivery Man: *face visibly changes from pleasant to angry*

    Me: “Thank you!”

    Delivery Man: “…”

    Me: “…Um, good night!”

    Delivery Man: “…”

    Me: “…”

    Delivery Man: “FINE.” *storms off*

    Me: “I think I’ll pay online from now on…”

    Use The Malt Wine

    | Malta | Bosses & Owners, Food & Drink

    (My mother and I are in Malta to scatter my Maltese father’s ashes. We ask the hotel restaurant’s manager to arrange a buffet after the scattering for my father’s Maltese friends and relatives.)

    Manager: “And the guests, will they be Maltese or British?”

    My Mother: “Maltese.”

    Manager: “Right, I’ll use the good wine.”

    Can’t Think Outside The Box

    | CA, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I go into our local serve-yourself bakery to buy muffins for some staff meetings. I needed two dozen, but because the meetings are spaced throughout the day, I pack eight muffins into three different boxes.  I get up to the register to pay and the clerk tries to charge me for three dozen.)

    Me: “I only have two dozen.”

    Clerk: “But you have three boxes so it’s three dozen.”

    Me: “Yes, I have three boxes, but there are only eight in each box which equals two dozen.

    Clerk: “Nope. Three boxes equals three dozen.”

    (After going round and round with her several times, I ask for the manager. She goes into the back to get him and as soon as he comes out, he says without even looking:)

    Manager: “Three boxes is three-dozen.”

    (I put the boxes on the counter and walked out. I ended up at my local supermarket where I bought two dozen donuts in three boxes without any problems.)

    Adding A Certain Je Ne Sais Quoi

    | MA, USA | Employees, Food & Drink

    Me: “I’d like a medium vanilla coffee, please.”

    Clerk: “I’m sorry, we don’t have vanilla. We only have hazelnut, pumpkin spice, and French vanilla.”

    How To Cheese Someone Off

    , | Idaho Falls, ID, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

    (I am about six years old. My mom, brother, and I go to a popular fast food restaurant which is a big treat for us.)

    Mom: *to me* “Tell the lady what you would like to eat.”

    Me: “I’ll get a kids meal with a cheeseburger, please?”

    Employee: “I’m sorry; our kids meals don’t come with cheeseburgers.”

    Me: “Okay, I’ll get a kids meal with chicken nugget, then.”

    Brother: *to employee* “I’ll get a kids meal with a hamburger?”

    Employee: “Would you like cheese on your hamburger?”

    Me: “…”


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