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    Category: Geography

    Getting Over Your Rules Is Overruled

    | Robinson, IL, USA | Bosses & Owners, Family & Kids, Geography, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (My grandmother has just passed away. She lived in Georgia, so I can’t afford to travel for the funeral, and neither can some of my other family members that live near me. This happens when I call in to request bereavement time.)

    Me: “Hi, I’m calling to say I’m not going to be coming in to work for a few days. I just found out that my grandmother passed away.”

    Personnel Manager: “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. Where’s the funeral going to be?”

    Me: “It’s in Georgia.”

    Personnel Manager: “Oh, really? And you’re going to be travelling that far?”

    Me: “Well, actually, I’m not going to be able to make it to the funeral, but I was hoping to spend some time with some of my other family members that also can’t go.”

    Personnel Manager: *condescendingly* “Sweetie, I can’t approve this. Bereavement time is only for people who have to travel for the funeral.”

    Me: *shocked* “What!? But [Coworker]‘s grandfather died a few months ago and he lived in [next town over] his whole life, and he got bereavement time.”

    Personnel Manager: “Sorry, but I don’t make the rules.”

    (Apparently she did make them up as she wanted to, because when I called the corporate office, they were just as stunned as I was. I ended up getting the full bereavement time, but was so stressed out over the whole ordeal, I barely even left my house.)

    Call Fahrenheit 911

    | FL, USA | Coworkers, Geography, Health & Body

    (I’m posting up the weather forecast on the communication board for my delivery drivers. An employee sees this and comes over.)

    Employee: “What is this paper for?”

    Me: “We have a cold front coming through so I want to make sure you guys are ready.”

    Employee: “How cold?”

    Me: “About 30 degrees.”

    Employee: *with little concern* “Okay.”

    Me: “Seriously, it will fall below freezing and you are closing that night. Make sure you wear layers.”

    (He gives me blank look until I remember he had moved from Cuba about eight months previous.)

    Me: “About -1 degree Celsius.”

    Employee: *with a panicked look* “That is way too cold! I cannot work! I will die!”

    Best Customer, No Question

    | MA, USA | Awesome Workers, Employees, Geography

    Associate: “Hi, any questions?”

    Me: “No, just browsing.”

    Associate: “Really? No questions? What’s my favorite color? What’s the capital of Iceland?”

    Me: “Reykjavik.”

    Associate: *high-fives me* “You are the first person to get that! You’re my favorite customer!”

    (Gotta say, I left the store feeling pretty good after that.)

    Flights Of Fancy

    | South Africa | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Geography, Tourists & Travel, Transportation

    (I am a pilot. On this particular overseas flight, a very common route, about 90% of the flight is over the ocean. An air hostess comes in with my breakfast.)

    Hostess: “Good morning. Ooh, it’s quite bright in here, isn’t it?”

    Me: “Yeah. Good weather today.”

    Hostess: *leaning over to look out of the cockpit window* “Oh, wow, we’re over the ocean!”

    (She puts down my breakfast and leaves the cockpit. My co-pilot and I look at each other.)

    Co-Pilot: “Did she just say what I think she said?”

    Me: “Yeah. For a moment I wasn’t sure I heard that right, either. If we weren’t over the ocean, I would be seriously concerned about where we were going to end up!”

    Incontinent Telephone Service

    | USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Geography, Technology, Tourists & Travel

    (I am planning a trip to France. I call my cellular provider to find out what I need to do to make calls while I’m there.)

    Me: “I’m planning a trip to Europe, and I need to know what I need to do to make calls while I’m there.”

    Rep: “I’ve looked over the list of countries where you can make calls, and Europe isn’t on the list.”

    Me: “I’m going to France.”

    Rep: “Yes, that’s on the list.”


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