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    Category: Geography

    The Longest Year

    | Orlando, FL, USA | Employees, Geography

    (My parents in America for their honeymoon, and decide to go to the adult only part of a well known theme park.)

    Attendant: “I just need to see some ID.”

    (My mother proceeds to pull out her passport and show the attendant her date of birth.)

    Attendant: “I’m sorry ma’am you aren’t old enough for this attraction. You have to be 21.”

    Mother: “But I am 21.”

    Attendant: “No, you’re not. According to your passport you won’t be old enough for another few months.”

    Mother: “Oh, no, sorry. We’re from England, so the date is reversed. I am old enough.”

    Attendant: “I’m not stupid; you don’t really date that way over there.”

    Mother: “Yes, we do.”

    Attendant: “You’re not fooling anyone. You just want to get in here under age.”

    (At this point my father steps in and shows the attendant his passport.)

    Father: “In that case would you mind telling me which is the 30th month?”

    (The attendant went bright red, and quietly let them in.)

    Geography Skills Suffering From A Tokyo Drift

    , | USA | Extra Stupid, Geography, Ignoring/Inattentive, Money, Tourists & Travel

    (I’ve somehow ended up on ‘high security’ from my credit card company. As such, even though the card I carry is meant specifically for people who travel abroad frequently, I have to call in and let them know when I’m going abroad so my card will work outside of the US. I call to tell them about an upcoming trip.)

    Me: “Hi. I’m calling because I will be traveling abroad soon, and I need my card to work while traveling.”

    Representative: “We can certainly put a travel notation on your account, and your card will work in your destination. Where will you be traveling?”

    Me: “My final destination is China, but I will be transiting through Tokyo and Hong Kong on my way there. Can you set it up so that my card will work in Tokyo, Hong Kong, and mainland China during [dates]?”

    Representative: “Certainly. Please hold momentarily.” *comes back after a minute* “You’re all set for your trip.”

    (A week later in Narita airport…)

    Cashier At Restaurant: “I’m sorry, ma’am, your card was declined.”

    (Fortunately she was nice enough to let me go to an ATM and withdraw funds from my work card to pay the bill. Upon returning home, I call my bank again…)

    Me: “Yes, I called before my latest trip and specifically asked that my card be available for use in Tokyo, Hong Kong, and China. However, my card was declined in Tokyo, and the only reason I can figure is that you failed to allow use of my card in Japan. I’m not extremely upset, but I’d like to know what I can do to make sure my card works when I travel in the future.”

    Representative: “Let me check the notes… Oh. Oh, Oh… I’m so, so sorry. It appears that the previous rep didn’t understand your travel information, and left a… uh… rather unsavory note about it.”

    Me: “Are you joking? This card is for people who TRAVEL! What did she say in the note? I need a good laugh.”

    Representative: “Before I say this, I want your permission and acknowledgement that you will not hold me responsible for coarse language.”

    Me: *now chuckling* “Go ahead. I won’t be offended, and I promise you are in the clear, no matter what you say.”

    Representative: “She wrote, ‘This dumb b**** made up countries called ‘Tokyo’ and ‘Hong Kong.’ Card has been activated for use in China. Fraud alert level has been increased for any other foreign use.’ It also appears from this that your card wouldn’t have worked in Hong Kong, since our system recognizes that separately from mainland China, but if she so much as started to type Hong Kong, it would have come up… Did you also have problems in Hong Kong?”

    Me: “No, I didn’t try to use my card there since I was only in that airport for a few minutes before traveling on. Thanks for the laugh. Buy that ‘b****’ a map, would you?”

    Representative: “We have noted your comment, and I’m sure the issue will be dealt with promptly.”

    (And I now make sure to name the *country* every time I call in. Silly me for thinking that most people would know Tokyo is in Japan and that Hong Kong is a real place…or ask if they didn’t.)

    Must Have Missed THAT Referendum

    | London, England, UK | Employees, Extra Stupid, Geography, Tourists & Travel

    (I’m on vacation and am going through border control in London. I’m spending three days in London then heading to Dublin, Ireland for a week.)

    Border Agent: “What is the purpose of your visit?”

    Me: “Holiday.”

    Border Agent: “How long are you staying?”

    Me: “Three days.”

    Border Agent: “Only three days? Where are you going after that?”

    Me: “I’m flying to Dublin, Ireland three days from now and then I’ll be there for seven days.”

    Border Agent: “You’re going to Ireland? So you’re staying in the UK for ten days, not three.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. I’m not going to Northern Ireland. I’m going to the Republic of Ireland… the country. So I’ll only be in the United Kingdom for three days. Then the country of Ireland for seven.”

    Border Agent: *suddenly angry* “No! Ireland is part of the UK! If you’re flying to Ireland, you’ll still be in the UK! You Americans don’t know anything.”

    Me: *giving up* “Whatever. Yes, I’ll be here for ten days.”

    Border Agent: *friendly again* “Okay! Enjoy your holiday!”

    Getting Over Your Rules Is Overruled

    | Robinson, IL, USA | Bosses & Owners, Family & Kids, Geography, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (My grandmother has just passed away. She lived in Georgia, so I can’t afford to travel for the funeral, and neither can some of my other family members that live near me. This happens when I call in to request bereavement time.)

    Me: “Hi, I’m calling to say I’m not going to be coming in to work for a few days. I just found out that my grandmother passed away.”

    Personnel Manager: “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. Where’s the funeral going to be?”

    Me: “It’s in Georgia.”

    Personnel Manager: “Oh, really? And you’re going to be travelling that far?”

    Me: “Well, actually, I’m not going to be able to make it to the funeral, but I was hoping to spend some time with some of my other family members that also can’t go.”

    Personnel Manager: *condescendingly* “Sweetie, I can’t approve this. Bereavement time is only for people who have to travel for the funeral.”

    Me: *shocked* “What!? But [Coworker]‘s grandfather died a few months ago and he lived in [next town over] his whole life, and he got bereavement time.”

    Personnel Manager: “Sorry, but I don’t make the rules.”

    (Apparently she did make them up as she wanted to, because when I called the corporate office, they were just as stunned as I was. I ended up getting the full bereavement time, but was so stressed out over the whole ordeal, I barely even left my house.)

    Call Fahrenheit 911

    | FL, USA | Coworkers, Geography, Health & Body

    (I’m posting up the weather forecast on the communication board for my delivery drivers. An employee sees this and comes over.)

    Employee: “What is this paper for?”

    Me: “We have a cold front coming through so I want to make sure you guys are ready.”

    Employee: “How cold?”

    Me: “About 30 degrees.”

    Employee: *with little concern* “Okay.”

    Me: “Seriously, it will fall below freezing and you are closing that night. Make sure you wear layers.”

    (He gives me blank look until I remember he had moved from Cuba about eight months previous.)

    Me: “About -1 degree Celsius.”

    Employee: *with a panicked look* “That is way too cold! I cannot work! I will die!”


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