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    Category: Geography

    Never Cover The Netherlands

    , | Italy | Geography, Ignoring/Inattentive, Technology

    (I live abroad for work reasons. During a holiday in my home country, my girlfriend and I go to a shopping mall. She enters a clothing store and I wait for her outside. Just in front of the store there is a stand of a phone and Internet company, known to have insistent salespeople.)

    Agent: *to me* “Sir, are you interested in our calls and broadband offers?”

    Me: “No, thank you.”

    Agent: “But we have—” *insert rant about mega-speed internet access and cheap long distance calls*

    Me: “As I said, thank you but I’m not interested. Anyway, where I live I’m not even covered by your service.”

    Agent: “That’s impossible!”

    Me: “Oh, believe me; I’m not covered by your service.”

    Agent: “That’s what you think, but you’ll be surprised!”

    Me: “If you like I can try to sign up. But mind that I’m 100% sure I’m not under your coverage.”

    Agent: “Well done, sir, you won’t be disappointed!

    (He explains all the plans and helps me to find a suitable one.)

    Agent: “So, what’s your landline number, starting with the area code?”

    Me: “It’s +31…”

    Agent: “Sorry?”

    Me: “My area code is +31.”

    Agent: *confused* “+31… but that sounds like an international area code.”

    Me: “It is. I live in the Netherlands.”

    Agent: “Is that a joke?”

    Me: *welcoming my girlfriend and walking away* “I told you I was not under your coverage!”

    Agent: *incoherent muttering*

    Leaving

    | Bristol, CT, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre/Silly, Geography, Job Seekers

    (I recently moved from Los Angeles, CA, to Small Town, CT, for work at a specific sports company based in Connecticut. I haven’t gotten around to changing over my California driver’s license yet. I make the mistake of stopping in to buy cigarettes.)

    Me: “Hi. Can I have a pack of [Brand]?”

    Cashier: “Sure, can I see ID?”

    Me: “Of course, here you go.”

    Cashier: “California?!”

    Me: “Yup, just moved here. I’ll get an updated ID soon.”

    Cashier: *practically screeching* “WHY ARE YOU IN CONNECTICUT, THEN?!”

    Me: “I lost my job in Los Angeles, and it’s really expensive to live there even with a job, so I moved back east to stay with family and then I was offered a job at [Well Known Company just up the road]. I couldn’t say no.”

    Cashier: *snotty now* “Why in the world would you ever leave California? I mean you could live on the beach if you were homeless; it’s not like you’d need money!”

    Me: “Um, no, I have student loans and other bills that need to get paid. Besides, it’s not everyday you’re offered a job, so it’s kind a really good opportunity.”

    Cashier: “I don’t care. You NEVER should have left California. I don’t care what kind of job I was offered. I would have never left!”

    Me: “Okay, well, good for you. Career-wise it made sense for me to move to work here.”

    Cashier: “I don’t care. I can’t believe you would move. That’s just so crazy. Why would you do that?!”

    Me: “Okay, that’s enough. Give me cigarettes and my beverage and stop questioning my life choices, unless you want me to start asking about yours!”

    Cashier: “Well, fine, but there is no need to get snotty about it!”

    Me: “Okay, then.”

    (As I’m leaving she calls out again:)

    Cashier: “I just don’t understand why you would leave California! You’re crazy!”

    Quebec To The Drawing Board

    | NB, Canada | Criminal/Illegal, Employees, Geography, Transportation

    (In Quebec, there is no law stating that a car needs to be inspected every year, or that a car needs a license plate in the front. These are required in a car from New Brunswick. The police have set up a checkpoint to see if people have had their car inspected.)

    Me: *stopping* “Everything all right, officer?”

    Officer: *looking at my dash, and taps where the inspection sticker usually goes* “Not for you! You don’t have an inspection sticker!”

    Me: “The car is from Quebec. We don’t need one.”

    Officer: *looks at front bumper then sing-songs* “We don’t have a license plate! I’m going to need your license and registration please.”

    Me: “Ma’am, the car is from Quebec. I’m just a student here.”

    Officer: *ignores me and goes to see my rear bumper and sees the Quebec plate, then comes back to my window* “License and registration.”

    Me: “Okay. Here is my French license and here is my French registration.”

    Officer: *looks at them thoroughly then looks at me* “Here. Move along.”

    Me: “Okay, have a good day!” *leaves*

    Idiots Nationwide

    | Twin Cities, MN, USA | Bosses & Owners, Extra Stupid, Geography, Technology

    (My manager’s daughter is on vacation in Mexico and has recently called from the resort’s phone to tell her mom that her call phone isn’t working. The manager has called the phone company to figure out what the problem is. I’ve only caught the last bit of the conversation and can only hear one side.)

    Manager: “I just don’t understand why her phone isn’t working.”

    Manager: “But I have nationwide coverage. Why isn’t it working?”

    Manager: “Ugh, fine.” *hangs up*

    Me: “What happened?”

    Manager: “They said they’d make her phone work, but it’s going to cost [amount] per minute. I have nationwide coverage. I don’t know why it’s going to cost so much!”

    Me: “Nationwide means in the USA. You know that, right?”

    Manager: “What do you mean by that?”

    Me: “[Coworker] is in Mexico. That’s not part of the nation, meaning—”

    Manager: “—it’s supposed to be NATIONWIDE! Her phone should work!”

    (She stormed off leaving me dumbfounded and speechless.)

    Insecure International Dialling

    | UK | Employees, Geography

    (Because I lived in the US for a while, I have a US-based Skype phone number. However, I have since returned to the UK. I receive this call:)

    Automated Message: “If you are the homeowner, you are eligible for free installation of a full home security system, with local 24/7 monitoring! If you are interested in this offer, please press 1.”

    Me: *to friend* “Got nothing better to do right now.” *presses 1*

    Agent: “Thank you for your interest. Can you confirm that you are the homeowner?”

    Me: “I am.”

    Agent: “Excellent.”

    (They then proceed to explain all the benefits of their security system, making particular emphasis on the local-ness of their monitoring centres.)

    Agent: “Now, sir, do you have any questions?”

    Me: “Yes, actually. I was wondering if you could tell me exactly where your local monitoring station is.”

    Agent: “Sure. Where do you live?”

    Me: “Slough.”

    Agent: “What state is that in?”

    Me: “England.”

    (They hung up immediately, and my friend and I laughed for hours!)


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