(It’s Easter and about 20 minutes until the store closes. I am behind a customer who has about five or six bags worth of groceries).

Customer: “Oh, shoot! I forgot my credit card at home. I know my credit card number though. Can I just give it to you?”

Cashier: “Unfortunately, I can’t do that, but let me get the manager.”

Customer: “I feel so stupid! I changed purses and forgot to switch my wallet over.”

(A manager comes over and explains the situation.)

Manager: “Do you live nearby? We close in 20 minutes, but if you live close, we can just hang onto your stuff until you get back.”

Customer: “I live 45 minutes away. I come to this branch because you guys have such a better selection. I know my credit card number. Can I just do that?”

Manager: “Unfortunately, we can’t because of security issues, but let’s just do this…”

(The manager does some sort of override and hands the customer her receipt.)

Manager: “Happy Easter!”

Customer: “Seriously? Thank you so much! Like I said, I come here all the time. I’ll pay for it next time I come in!”

(I later found out that not only did she come back to pay, she also got gift cards for the manager and cashier as a thank you!)

Coworker: “Hey what day of the week is Thanksgiving?”

Me: “Thursday. It’s always a Thursday.”

Coworker: “Really? Nuh-uh!”

Me: “Yeah it is, it’s always the third Thursday in November. Like how Easter is always a Sunday.”

Coworker: “Nooooo… I’m sure it was on a Wednesday last year!”

Me: “No, I swear. Always a Thursday. That’s why the day after Thanksgiving is called Black Friday. It’s always a Friday.”

Coworker: “Really? I don’t believe it!”

Related:
Happy Holidaze (Not Always Right)

Coworker: “So, I’ll get access to my new apartment on January 1st. That’s in like… a month?”

Me: “It’s exactly two weeks from today. It’s Tuesday the week after next.”

Coworker: “Oh, that soon? Wait, so is January 1st the day after New Years’ Eve this year?”

Me: “…Yes, the new year kind of always starts with January 1st…”

(This occurs on a Christmas Eve on a Monday at our resort’s bike rental shop. Although we closed at 4:30 pm, company policy is to stay open until all our customers have been helped. There’s still a long line at 5:30 pm. At this point, my wife, the resort’s general cashier, comes by to expiate the paperwork. At the same time, the night security supervisor comes by.)

Security Supervisor: “You’re going to have to close. It is dark and past your closing time.”

Me: “Sorry, I can’t close with customers waiting. Besides, the Christmas lights provide enough light.”

Security Supervisor: “I’ll have to call your manager, and she…” *points to my wife* “…can’t be here.”

(I ignore him as I wait on customers. Frustrated, he starts calling my managers. He eventually gets my General Manager on the line.)

Security Supervisor: “The GM wants to talk to you now!”

(Surprisingly, one of the customers who has overheard everything speaks up in my defense.)

Customer: “Shut up, a**hole! He’s busy!”

Wife: *to me* “I’ll get [the customer's] bikes so you can talk to the GM.”

(I get on the phone with the General Manager.)

General Manager: “[Security Supervisor] briefed me on your situation. Can you put me on speaker?”

Me: “Sure.”

General Manager: *on speaker* “[My name], keep up getting the bike rented out. [Security Supervisor], you need to help the customers or get out of his shop. [My wife], thanks for helping out and make sure your hours are transferred to this department. If any customers can hear me, I apologize for my Security Supervisor and thank you for your patience. Everyone have a Merry Christmas!” *hangs up*

(With this, the customers that overhear this applaud.)

Security Supervisor: “This isn’t the end of this, jerk!”

Customer: “Leave him alone! I want my bicycles.”

Me: “No problem, ma’am. Last name and villa number, please?”

Security Supervisor: “That’s it! You’re done at this company!”

Customer: “I’ll make sure you’re done at this company!”

(I did hear about it. I had to make a statement, and so did my wife. In fact, there were several comment cards from customers and several letters to corporate about what had happened. By the end of January, I was still running that little bike shop while the former security supervisor was appealing his unemployment denial.)

Supervisor: “What day is Christmas Eve?”

Me: “It’s on a Monday.”

Supervisor: “I mean, is it on the 24th?”

Me: “Yes, just like it is every year.”

Supervisor: “Oh… is that the dumbest question I’ve ever asked?”

Me: “Possibly. It’s slightly dumber than the first time you asked it.”

Supervisor: “I asked you that before?!”