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    Category: Holidays

    Totally Wigging Out

    | Atlanta, GA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers, Family & Kids, Holidays

    (It’s Halloween and I’m dressed up as Moss from ‘The IT Crowd,’ complete with the goofy afro parted to the side. One of my coworkers brings her daughter in.)

    Coworker’s Daughter: “I want your hair.”

    Me: “Oh, you do, huh?” *I yank off my wig and hand it to her* “Here you go.”

    Coworker’s Daughter: “YAAAAYY!” *grabs the wig and runs off with it*

    Me: “I’m gonna want that back in a bit…”

    Scrooge-Fest

    | MI, USA | Coworkers, Holidays

    (I’m a Scrooge about holidays, especially minor ones, but one coworker hasn’t got the hint.)

    Coworker: “So what are you doing for St. Patrick’s day?

    Me: “Nothing.”

    Coworker: “What? But you have to do something special! It’s such a fun holiday!”

    Me: “I’m neither Irish, Catholic, not an alcoholic, so I don’t think I have any reason to celebrate it.”

    Coworker: “You’re going to be just as much fun for Cinco de Mayo, aren’t you?”

    Me: “And Octoberfest.”

    More Trick Than Treat

    | USA | Coworkers, Holidays, Rude & Risque

    (Our front office has been decorated for Halloween, and I notice a plastic pumpkin that looks as though the lid is supposed to come off, but doesn’t. I turn it over to discover an ‘on’ switch. Without thinking much of it, I turn it on.)

    Coworker #1: “Uh, [My Name], that thing’s kind of… creepy. I mean, you can turn it on if you want, but…”

    (As if on cue, the pumpkin starts playing this weird snake charmer music as the top comes off. Out of it comes what was meant to be a ghost over a narrow frame that wiggles around a bit, then goes back down. Said ghost bears a horrifically unfortunate resemblance to something that is… well… decidedly not kid-friendly. This is right when the office manager and Coworker #2 walk in.)

    Coworker #2: “Oh, lord.”

    Manager: “Ah. You’ve found the dirty pumpkin.”

    (We all stared, wide-eyed, and I hurriedly switched it off. For the sake of everyone’s sanity, I renamed it ‘The Ugly Sock Ghost’ to try and make it a little less disturbing.)

    That Description Is Not Kosher

    | Scotts Valley, CA, USA | Employees, Food & Drink, Holidays, Ignoring/Inattentive, Religion

    (It is mid December and Hanukkah is approaching.)

    Me: “Excuse me, do you carry Hanukkah candles?”

    Employee: “Yeah, they’re down here with all this weird stuff.”

    (She leads me down an aisle and points out the candles. The ‘weird stuff’ turned out to be Gefilte fish, matzo, matzo meal, latke mix, etc…)

    Me: “Ma’am, that weird stuff is what we Jewish people call food. “

    Defying Egg-spectations

    | Green Bay, WI, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre/Silly, Employees, Holidays

    (I stop at the grocery store on Thanksgiving morning to get the last few things for dinner.)

    Clerk: “Is that it?”

    Me: “Yes, thank you.”

    Clerk: “Great. Happy Easter!”

    Me: “Had enough of saying ‘Happy Thanksgiving,’ huh?”


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