(It is approaching the holidays. My mom is buying a gift for someone. We are Jewish.)
Cashier: “Would you like a gift receipt?”
Mom: “Yes, please.”
Cashier: “Is this a Christmas Present?”
Mom: “No. It’s for Chanukah.”
Cashier: “You’re Jewish?”
Cashier: *shocked* “Really?”
Cashier: “So you don’t celebrate Thanksgiving?”
Taking A Holiday From Reason
(I work in a discount retailer. It is a few weeks after Christmas. All our Christmas merchandise had been marked down 90%. We have a rule that anyone returning Christmas clearance cannot just turn around and re-purchase it for the discounted price. They have to wait until it has been re-shelved. A customer comes in with a full cart.)
Customer: “I want to return these and repurchase them.”
Me: “You will have to wait for the merchandise to hit the floor before you can repurchase it.”
(The customer immediately starts yelling at me. I get a manager. Unfortunately, the manager on duty is something of a jerk.)
Manager: “You will have to process the return, and then resell the customer the merchandise.”
(Upon hearing this, the customer goes back outside. The customer returns with TWO MORE carts full of Christmas décor, with a total of FOUR different receipts the purchases were made on. After 20 minutes of trying to sort out which things were on which receipts, I go back to the manager’s office to see if I can get some help. As I try to explain the problem to my manager, the HEAD manager walks in. After hearing the situation, I get sent on an extra long break. My manager gets chewed out and sent back out to the floor.)
Head Manager: *to manager* “Start all over again if you have to. You started this. It’s all your problem!”
(Afterwards my manager was suspended for three days.)
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(It is Veteran’s Day. Our store is giving discounts to veterans. Two women are in line to check out.)
Customer: “I served in Iraq. Do you need proof that I was in the service?”
Customer: “Okay. I thought I’d ask.”
(The next customer in line, a 70-something-year-old woman, steps up.)
Next Customer: *jokingly* “I served in the Civil War!”
(The funny thing is that the cashier actually gave her the discount. The customer had to tell her she was joking.)
(It’s July 1st. I’m closing up the store I work at and call my owner with the daily numbers. While our store is in Oregon, the owner has gone up to British Columbia, Canada, to supervise our on-the-road team.)
Me: “Hey [Owner], just calling in with the report.”
Owner: “What are you doing working so late?”
Me: “Closing the store? I know I’m usually in earlier, but I’m covering a scheduling gap.”
Owner: “No, I mean, why didn’t the store close early today?”
Me: “We don’t close early until Thursday.”
Owner: “Why? What’s on Thursday? Canada day is TODAY!”
Me: “Um, Thursday is July 4th. Independence Day. Remember? We don’t celebrate Canada day just because you’re in Canada.”
Owner: “But it’s Canada Day TODAY!”
(As it turns out, when my coworker called in the numbers on July 4th, the owner again became confused as to why we were closing early!)
O, Canaduh, Part 2