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  • August's Theme Of The Month: Best. Boss. Ever!

    Category: Holidays

    Not Thankful For The Early Notice

    | MD, USA | Bosses & Owners, Crazy Requests, Holidays, Overtime

    (I’m a waiter at a popular sports bar. I was hired on in August and was told that, due to Thanksgiving being a busy day for football games, I had to let them know if I needed that day off in advance. I know that my family was planning a trip to the beach so I go ahead and tell my boss during the initial training day.)

    Me: “I’ve already made plans with my family that week so I won’t be able to work.”

    Boss: “No problem; thanks for the early notice!”

    (Fast-forward to the morning before Thanksgiving Day. I’m at the beach with my family when I get a call from my boss.)

    Boss: “Hey [My Name], I know you requested this week off to be with your family, but I could really use your help here at [Bar]. Is there any way you could come in for an evening shift after you’ve had dinner?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, [Boss], but I’m not in town; we’re at the beach until Saturday.”

    Boss: “Wait, what?! You didn’t tell me you were going to be out of town!”

    Me: “Well, I didn’t think I needed to specify where I was going to be…”

    Boss: “You should have told me you wouldn’t be able to get called in; I was counting on you being in town in case I needed coverage!”

    Me: “Sir, I told you I wasn’t going to be available at all this week. Why would you count on me if I requested those days off?”

    Boss: “Wait… which beach are you at?”

    Me: “Virginia Beach… Why?”

    Boss: “That’s what, four hours away?”

    Me: *knowing where he’s going with this* “Uh huh…”

    Boss: “Well… if you left at three pm you could be here by seven. That way I can have someone to close.”

    Me: “Let me get this straight… You want me to leave my family vacation the day of Thanksgiving, drive four hours to work one shift, and drive back after I’ve closed the bar at two am?”

    Boss: *sigh* “…I’ll see if I can find someone else.”

    Common Sense Takes A Holiday

    , | Australia | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Holidays

    (Due to it being Easter Sunday, management has wrongly predicted a quiet day and we are severely understaffed. I am getting a little frustrated, especially with people making comments about our store being open.)

    Customer: “Why are you even open? You should be at home with your family!”

    Me: *deadpan* “Why are you even shopping? You should be at home with your family.”

    (The customer’s eyes go wide for a split second before he chuckles.)

    Customer: “Touché… I am seriously SO sorry.” *walks away*

    Leaving Behind Your Christmas Baggage

    , | Canada | Coworkers, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m in the ladies’ room at the staff Christmas party when I overhear the following as a coworker heads to a stall from the sinks:)

    Coworker #1: “Oh hey, take your purse with you!”

    Coworker #2: “Why? No one’s going to take it.”

    Coworker #1: “You never know!”

    Coworker #2: “You know what? If they want it they can have it. All that’s in there is five bucks and a tampon.”

    A Real Live Christmas Tree

    | MD, USA | Bosses & Owners, Coworkers, Holidays, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (I am an employee at this office. One day I walk in to see the receptionist taking wire cutters to an unassembled Christmas tree.)

    Me: “Hey, [Receptionist]. What are you doing?”

    Receptionist: “The lights burnt out so I’m cutting them off and will string some new ones on.”

    Me: “Can’t you just replace the bulbs?”

    Receptionist: *looking at me perplexed* “I don’t know.”

    (I reach over, and pull one of the lights out of the socket and show him.)

    Me: “Yup! You can!”

    Receptionist: “Oh. Um… Well, I’ve already been cutting them off”

    Me: “Are you going to cut and remove the power cord?”

    Receptionist: “No. We want it to still turn, I think.”

    Me: “That would be a fire and shock hazard to have all those open wires. What if someone touches one?”

    Receptionist: “Oh… well. I’ll have to ask [Boss who knows nothing about technology].”

    (Last I knew they were still going to put it up and plug it in. Here’s hoping no one touched it!)

    Deck The Halls With Mismanagement

    | Atlanta, GA ,USA | Bosses & Owners, Holidays, Movies & TV, Theme Of The Month

    (The holidays are fast approaching.)

    Manager: “Are you working tomorrow?”

    Me: “Yeah, why?”

    Manager: “Because tomorrow, [Owner’s Wife] wants us to put up Christmas decorations.”

    Me: *groan* “Can’t I just clean something instead?”

    Manager: “I don’t have anything that needs cleaning… Actually, I do, but she wants us to do this.”

    Me: “But my mom always says you should clean first before putting up Christmas decorations.”

    Manager: “That’s because your mother actually makes sense. This is [Owner’s Wife] we’re talking about. If your house was on fire, your mother would probably make you get outside. If the theater was on fire, [Owner’s Wife] would probably make you clean something.”

    (Sadly, I couldn’t argue with that.)

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