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  • Saying It Over And Ovarian
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  • Category: Job Seekers

    Questionnaire Despair

    , | England, UK | Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive, Job Seekers, Technology

    (I’m applying for a position online. The first part is an automated multi-choice questionnaire. The questions are overly specific, failing me every time. I ring to see if there is some room to maneuver.)

    Me: “Hi. I’m trying to apply for a position on your site, but it won’t let me continue.”

    Recruitment Agent: “How so?”

    Me: “Basically, because I have worked in similar roles, not exactly what is on the question. So ,I keep failing.”

    (I quickly explain my experience, which is already doing the job advertised.)

    Recruitment Agent: “Wow, okay. It sounds like you would be perfect for the role. Let me pass your details on to my colleague.”

    (A couple of days pass when I get this email:)

    Email: “Thank you for your information. You do seem very well equipped for this role. Please apply using the online application form.”

    Me: “Hi. I can’t use the form because my experience isn’t exactly in the field you are looking for.”

    Email: “Please use the form, as it gives everyone the same chance.”

    Me: “Sorry if i wasn’t clear. I spoke to your colleague about this. This is why she passed on my information. I already perform this role in a slightly different industry. I fill all the boxes but do not pass the test,. Can my information be looked at, please?”

    Email: “Yes, I understand. I would strongly urge you to apply for this position. Please use the online form.”

    (So, forever going round in circles, I never even got an interview for the job I already perform in a far more demanding industry.)

    Laying On The Laying Off Thick

    | Atlanta, GA, USA | Bosses & Owners, Ignoring/Inattentive, Job Seekers

    (My studio works on multiple shows, and one of them was recently canceled. Half of the team of the canceled show were absorbed into other shows, laying off people from other teams. A week after this occurs, I’m having lunch with one of the directors for a show that had to let people go because of this.)

    Director: “The last week has just been so rough.”

    Me: “Yeah, but at least you still have your job.”

    Director: “True, but I don’t think anybody could feel as bad as I do since I had to let people go.”

    Me: “You do realize that you’re talking to one of the people you had to lay off, right?”

    Interview Boo Hoo

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive, Job Seekers

    Caller: “Hello, is this [My Name]?”

    Me: “It is.”

    Caller: “We’ve found your CV online and wanted to get in touch as we think you’d be a perfect fit as one of our consultants at [Insurance Agency].”

    (While the caller continues their spiel about how the job will suit my skills I check the company online, and find they’re actually the same company that called me several years earlier offering the exact same position when I was last looking for work.)

    Caller: “…and so we’d like to have you come in for an interview this Friday. What time would work for you?”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry; I’m not available on Friday.”

    Caller: “Not a problem, sir! What time on Monday can you come in?”

    Me: “I can’t do Monday either.”

    Caller: “Okay, we’ll see you Tuesday then.”

    Me: “Can’t do Tuesday.”

    Caller: “Wednesday?”

    Me: “Nope.”

    Caller: “Thursday?”

    Me: “Nope.”

    Caller: “Why not?”

    Me: “I’m in the process of moving out of state. I actually stated that in the cover letter I posted with my CV.”

    Caller: “Really?”

    Me: “I also put my new address on my CV, which is not anywhere near where you said you were located.”

    (I hear key taps over the phone.)

    Caller: “Oh… uh… so you did. Funny, it says on your profile you’re still in Washington.”

    Me: “Well, I am, for another two weeks or so. I must have forgotten to change that as well.”

    Caller: “Well, that’s no problem! We also have offices near your new residence so you can come in and interview next week at—”

    Me: “Okay, let me stop you right there. You guys actually called me about a consulting position before, three years ago, and hassled me that it’d lead to a promotion and the likelihood of running my own office in six months. I gave you the benefit of a doubt and attended one of your interviews… whereupon you made me and twenty other people sit through an endless lecture of how successful you are and how we’d be idiots not to work for you. Then, when you actually took me aside to speak with me privately, you told me I’d have to first shell out $1,500 for my insurance license before I could even be hired and agree to work on commission. Yeah, thanks, but unless you can guarantee this is not going to be another complete waste of my time I’m not interested.”

    Caller: *hangs up*

    I’ll Drink To That

    , | TX, USA | Awesome Workers, Food & Drink, Job Seekers

    (I go to a bookstore where I had applied for a job, and ask for the hiring manager. This happens in the cafe while I’m waiting.)

    Barista: “Hey, do you want a mocha frappe?”

    Me: “Oh, I don’t really have any money on me. Thank you, though.”

    Barista: “Nah. I already made one and the customer didn’t want it. Have it. I’d just have to throw it away otherwise.”

    Me: “Okay! Thank you so much!”

    (She really brightened my mood, and even if she didn’t realize it, she still did something amazing.)

    At Your Earliest Inconvenience

    | USA | Bizarre/Silly, Bosses & Owners, Job Seekers

    (I am interviewing for a job that I’m excited about. However, I get a bit too excited and wind up showing an hour early.)

    Me: “Hi. My name’s [My Name] and I have an interview with the hiring manager?”

    Receptionist: “Um….”

    Me: “I’m a bit early. If he’s busy, then I can wait.”

    Receptionist: “Uh… ok… I’ll tell him that you’re here.”

    (Giving me a weird look, the receptionist goes to the back. In a few minutes, she’s back with the hiring manager, who wears a bewildered look.)

    Me: “Hi! I’m [My Name]. I apologize for being so early.”

    Hiring Manager: “That’s okay…”

    (There’s an awkward silence.)

    Me: “… If there’s a problem, I can wait. Are you busy?”

    Hiring Manager: “No, I’m not. No, I can sit down and talk with you.”

    (He gestures to a table and we sit.)

    Hiring Manager: “So, what made you come so early?”

    Me: “I guess I’m just so excited about this job!”

    Hiring Manager: *doesn’t laugh or smile with me*

    Me: “Um… I made a mistake with the time?”

    Hiring Manager: *nods* “Mistake. With the time. I see.”

    Me: “But, at least I’m not late, right? It’s better to be early than late, right? Right?”

    (Crickets chirped as the hiring manager said nothing and wrote notes. All through the interview he kept coming back to why I was early. I didn’t get the job. Next time, I arrived right on the dot!)

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