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    Category: Job Seekers

    Didn’t Really Apply Himself

    | Indianapolis, IN, USA | Health & Body, Job Seekers, Theme Of The Month

    (While working one day, a gentleman comes in. From the floor up, he was wearing: sandals, dirty, stained shorts which were sagging, dirty boxers that I wish I hadn’t seen, a dirty, stained, hole-filled wifebeater and a stained shirt. To top it off, he was unshaven and had multiple piercings and gauges in each ear.)

    Him: *pulling a stained, creased, application out of his pocket* “Yeah, I wanna see about getting a job.”

    Me: *barely wanting to touch his application* “I’ll review this and get back to you.”

    (I may have lost his application.)

    Age-Appropriate Questions

    , | OH, USA | Job Seekers, Theme Of The Month

    (I am going in for an interview for my first job ever. Due to my failures at getting an interview or a second one, I am nervous while the general manager of the store asks me questions. Note: I am 18, while the general manager appears to me to be in her early 30s or late 20s.)

    General Manager: “So, how well do you get along with younger kids?”

    Me: “I get along with them great, especially kindergarten age.”

    General Manager: “…I meant the ones the same age as you, hun.”

    (I was embarrassed at the answer I gave. I got the job, and the general manager and I get along extremely well!)

    Be Mindful Of Typos

    | Johannesburg, South Africa | Employees, Job Seekers, Language & Words

    (I have just been promoted to junior recruitment consultant. Unfortunately, I do not have an assistant to type my documents and résumés so I ask the receptionist to help me. This also gives her the ability to grow in her position as no one else gives her that chance. We always inform our clients if we interview the candidates in person, telephonically, or via Skype.)

    Client: “Hahaha! My boss thinks you guys are brilliant!”

    Me: “Um, why?”

    Client: “The resume says you guys interviewed this candidate telepathically!”

    (Turned out the receptionist had typed on the resume ‘telepathically’ instead of ‘telephonically’ and I hadn’t picked it up when I sent the resume to the client. She even won an award with our head office for this little blunder…)

    Will Be Saying Bye Bye Baby In June

    | Edmonton, AB, Canada | Health & Body, Ignoring/Inattentive, Job Seekers

    (I am applying for a temporary office position. I am seven months pregnant and wearing an obvious maternity outfit. The interviewer is a young man.)

    Interviewer: “You do realize that this is only a temporary position.”

    Me: “Well, yes. I can only work until about the second week of June anyway.”

    Interviewer: “Why, what will be happening in June?”

    Me: *pointing down at abdomen*This is happening.”

    Interviewer: “Um, what?…”

    (I did eventually get through to him that I was pregnant, and I did get the job!)

    Need To Apply Yourself To Your Application

    | USA | Extra Stupid, Job Seekers

    (Someone turns in a job application to me. I take it into the back and give it a glance over. The first thing I notice is that none of the non-informational questions – i.e., why do you want to work here? etc. – are answered. I look on the back and see no previous job experience. I flip back to the front and note that they are asking for a ridiculous pay per hour for a no experience needed position with no previous job experience and no effort put into their application. I start to wonder if this was a serious attempt at a job search when I notice one final detail – he did not write down his phone number. I laugh out loud and a nearby associate notices.)

    Associate: “Hmm?”

    Me: “This application… Half of it isn’t filled out, he wants more money than 90% of you guys make, and he didn’t leave his phone number. Even if this application wasn’t instantly rejected, how would we call him back?”

    (The associate looks at the application for a moment.)

    Associate: “[Name Of High School] is in [Far Away City], but he says he lives in [City In Opposite Direction]. Unless he commutes an hour to and from school every day, he’s lying.”

    Me: “What? Why would you even lie about what high school you were going to? It’s high school, who cares.”

    Associate: “Yeah. What a dweeb. We should totally hire him!”

    Me: “I’ll go hire a psychic to give me his phone number so I can give him a call back!”

    (I sticky note the application ‘How to not fill out an application’ and leave it on the desk for other managers to look at. I make sure that our store manager sees it before it gets thrown away. Two days later, the applicant actually calls and I answer the phone. I recognize the name because of the attention I had given to the application. I ask him to hold.)

    Me: “Hey, [Store Manager], remember that ridiculously hilarious application I showed you a while ago? The one where he didn’t fill out any of the questions, lied about what school he went to, and didn’t write down his phone number?”

    Store Manager: “Yeaaah?”

    Me: “Well, he just called asking about his application. What, uh… what do I tell him?”

    Store Manager: “Maybe suggestions on how to fill out a job application?”

    Me: “If you want to tell him that, then you can talk to him!”

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