• Not Scripted For Success - 780 votes
  • November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

    Category: Job Seekers

    Needs To Retire That Attitude

    | Auckland, New Zealand | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Job Seekers

    (I’ve been applying for jobs for about three months and on Monday receive a very interesting call. I answer in three rings.)

    Caller:“That took long enough! Is this [My Name]?”


    Caller:“I’m [Caller] from [Company I have applied to], just touching base on an idea we’ve had here at HR… Now, first of all, due to your being elderly, we can’t in good faith offer you the job… right?”

    Me:“Well, I’m—”

    Caller:“Exactly, good of you to be understanding! Now, the good thing is you have a lot of experience, and as most elderly need to pass that on to younger people and anyway, they like working voluntarily. We decided to offer you the chance to come in here, three or four days a week and train the young staff. Better than just stepping aside for them, eh?”

    Me:“So, I won’t actually be paid for this?”

    Caller: “Oh, s***, no! Not worth the cost of paying for all your sick days; you elderly have all those troubles, right? No, it’s entirely a voluntary position.”

    Me: *feeling a touch insulted* “I’ll have to talk to [Government Employment Department] about doing that, but I’ll consider it.”

    Caller: “Oh, no need to bring in those [homophobic slur]s in that [ethnic slur] bunch! My number’s [Number], call me before Christmas if you feel grateful for the chance!”

    (I have yet to call her back. For information, I was born in 1965.)

    Wasn’t Egg-specting That

    | USA | Criminal/Illegal, Health & Body, Job Seekers

    (I am interviewing for an office position. I’m 37 at the time.)

    Doctor: “So do you plan on getting pregnant any time soon?”

    (It is illegal to use my answer to that specific question in their hiring decision so I am shocked they asked it. I’m so taken by surprise that I answer it.)

    Me: “No…”

    Doctor: “Well, that’s probably good; your eggs are too old anyway.”

    Me: “…”

    Meet Me In The Middle?

    | Sacramento, CA, USA | Job Seekers

    (I am slightly autistic and tend to take things overly literal at times. I am being interviewed over the phone by a woman representing a service to provide tutors for clients. Since I will be working with children, personal details are needed for background checks.)

    Interviewer: “Do you have a middle name?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Interviewer: “Eh… uh… Am I… Am I supposed to guess it?”

    Me: “Oh! Sorry, it’s [Middle Name].”

    (I actually got the job!)

    Completely ‘Stuffed’ That Application

    | KY, USA | Job Seekers

    (I work for a national retail craft store. The store recently started taking job applications for seasonal Christmas workers. One applicant seemed good, application neatly filled, references in order, until the last page that page asks about whatever craft skills you have.)

    Applicant: “I can do all kinds of s***.”

    Me: “On a job application. Seriously? The word ‘stuff’ is too hard to spell?”

    (Needless to say, that job application went nowhere.)

    Putting The Fired Into Hired, Part 3

    | MI, USA | Job Seekers, School

    (Each year we hire a student half-time reporter through a scholarship program. In addition to sending the position info to various departments on campus, we also post fliers in areas like the Student Center to try and attract as many candidates as possible. Please note that this takes place approximately six weeks into the football season.)

    Student: *wanders past the front desk and into my office unannounced* “Hello?”

    Me: *startled* “Yes, can I help you?”

    Student: “Sorry. I’m just so tired. I haven’t slept at all in like three days.”

    Me: “What?”

    Student: *pulls creased and folded, obviously stolen, flier out of his pocket* “I’ll take this job.”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Student: “This halftime reporter job. I’ll take it.”

    Me: “I’m sorry; we hired someone almost two months ago. Football season has been going for over six weeks.”

    Student: “But I have the flier! You’re making a big mistake! I’d be perfect for this!”

    Me: “Ignoring the fact that you obviously removed a flier from a public bulletin board and that the job is already filled, barging into my office and demanding I hire you isn’t the best way to start this conversation.”

    Student: “Fine! But you’re making a big mistake!”

    Putting The Fired Into Hired, Part 2
    Putting The Fired Into Hired

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