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    Category: Job Seekers

    The Drugs Don’t Work And Neither Do You

    , | Nashville, TN, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Job Seekers, Theme Of The Month

    (A woman sits down across from me at Starbucks, at an interview for a teaching position. Before I can even get a word in, she bursts out with this…)

    Woman: “Do y’all drug test? Because I can’t pass one and I don’t plan on being able to anytime soon.”

    Me: “I think we’re done here…”

    (Shortest. Interview. Ever.)

    First Day Shake Downs

    | ON, Canada | Health & Body, Job Seekers, Theme Of The Month

    (I go for a job interview at an office and as I’m early stop off in the bathroom to check my appearance. While I’m there someone uses a stall and then walks out without washing her hands. I find this really gross, but don’t dare say anything. Five minutes later I go to the interview room:)

    Interviewer: “Hello, I’m [Interviewer]. You must be [My Name].” *holds out hand to shake*

    (Guess whose hand I had to shake?)

    A Minor Business Flaw

    | NJ, USA | Job Seekers, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (I am fresh out of tech school and looking for a job. I apply to everything I can find that has ‘computer’ in the job title. While some of the interviews are doomed from the start, looking for ’5-10 years’ experience’ with software that was barely two years old or something, this one really takes the cake. I am in the lobby while I and the other gentleman for an interview are waiting to get called in.)

    Me: “Man, I’m kinda nervous about this.”

    Him: “Yeah, it’s sorta exciting though, isn’t it? Breaking into the business!”

    Me: “Well yeah, it’s just a little intimidating, every place I’ve been to so far has sprung up some new, crazy ‘requirement’ that was never mentioned before come the interview.”

    Him: “I know, right? I mean I just got my BA in Computer Sciences, and so many places disrespect that!”

    Me: “Wait, Computer “Sciences? Programming, networking or hardware?”

    Him: “No, just general theory.”

    Me: “Oh. You know this job is for a junior software engineer, right?”

    Him: “Oh yeah, yeah! I messed around with some V-Basic too, I should be good.”

    (I specifically knew this job required knowledge of C++, Visual Basic, database management and several other complicated systems, all of which were part of my tech-school training. Then I go into the interview, only to be told that it wasn’t a “requirement” but it would have been “helpful” if I also had “at least a minor in business”. Guess what mister I-can’t-even-program-a-login-screen had?)

    Didn’t Really Apply Himself

    | Indianapolis, IN, USA | Health & Body, Job Seekers, Theme Of The Month

    (While working one day, a gentleman comes in. From the floor up, he was wearing: sandals, dirty, stained shorts which were sagging, dirty boxers that I wish I hadn’t seen, a dirty, stained, hole-filled wifebeater and a stained shirt. To top it off, he was unshaven and had multiple piercings and gauges in each ear.)

    Him: *pulling a stained, creased, application out of his pocket* “Yeah, I wanna see about getting a job.”

    Me: *barely wanting to touch his application* “I’ll review this and get back to you.”

    (I may have lost his application.)

    Age-Appropriate Questions

    , | OH, USA | Job Seekers, Theme Of The Month

    (I am going in for an interview for my first job ever. Due to my failures at getting an interview or a second one, I am nervous while the general manager of the store asks me questions. Note: I am 18, while the general manager appears to me to be in her early 30s or late 20s.)

    General Manager: “So, how well do you get along with younger kids?”

    Me: “I get along with them great, especially kindergarten age.”

    General Manager: “…I meant the ones the same age as you, hun.”

    (I was embarrassed at the answer I gave. I got the job, and the general manager and I get along extremely well!)


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