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    Category: Job Seekers

    Job Hunting Is A Joke

    | Wales, UK | Bizarre/Silly, Bosses & Owners, Job Seekers

    (I had an interview and the manager was unable to attend, but wants to meet with me and calls me up the next day to arrange it.)

    Me: “Too Many Hamsters R Us.”

    Manager: “Er, can I speak to [My Name], please?”

    Me: “Speaking.”

    Manager: “Hi, this is [Manager[ from [Centre]…”

    Me: “Oh, God, sorry about that. I always answer the house phone in a jokey way.”

    Manager: “You wouldn’t answer the work phone like that.”

    Me: “No, never.”

    Manager: “Chuckles.”

    (I hope I get this job. It wasn’t even a good joke!)

    Walking Fall

    | UK | Bizarre/Silly, Bosses & Owners, Job Seekers

    (My store is giving every staff member appraisals before we move to a new building. I have mine with one of our store directors. Note: I have recently had knee surgery and so am moving around quite slowly, particularly on the stairs.)

    Director: “Okay, [My Name] so the last thing I need to ask is what your future goals are. Do you have any plans?”

    Me: “Well, I don’t really know. Finish university, I guess. Start walking like a normal person, maybe?”

    Director: “Oooh, can I put that you want to get up the stairs faster than an old lady?”

    Me: *assumes she’s joking* “Sure, why not.”

    (When my manager gave me a copy of the appraisal forms a week later, I see that under the heading of future plans my director has actually written “Most important aim – Get up stairs faster than an old lady. Least important aim – Finish university.” I’m not quite sure she got my priorities right…)

    Mismanaging The Money

    | England, UK | Job Seekers

    (I interview for a position in a company. The company seems disorganised, and the interview process is very poor. I eventually get a call back.)

    Caller: “Hi, is this [My Name]?”

    Me: “Speaking.”

    Caller: “This is [Caller] from [Company]. I’m calling about your interview.”

    Me: “Okay, yes.”

    Caller: “We would like to make you an offer of amount [£1000 above my asking rate].”

    Me: “Oh, great. No thanks.”

    Caller: “Sorry, did you say no? It’s more than you asked for. Have you found another job?”

    Me: “No, no. I’m still looking.”

    Caller: “So why are you refusing the job?”

    Me: “Well. to be honest with you, despite the fact that you left me waiting around for nearly quarter of an hour, and despite that I was subject to a quiz that I wasn’t warned nor prepared for, the job requirement and what you expect for the applicant just don’t match up.”

    Caller: “I don’t follow.”

    Me: “You say you are looking for an engineer, but looking around and talking to your staff, you need a manager there. I just don’t think I can make the difference you need in that role.”

    (I’m beaming inside, as that sounded (out loud at least) like an intelligent technical response, completely pulled out of the air. I know I can do the manager job, but it is a different pay scale completely.)

    Caller: “Well, you could do those bits on top of your normal job..”

    Me: “Unpaid, unrecognised, and not on the job description?”

    Caller: “Err, yes, that does sound a bit silly, doesn’t it?”

    (I wrap up the call. She states that she will go away and talk to her boss. I get another call.)

    Caller: “Hi, [My Name]. I spoke to my boss who said that he can change the job description to include those extra roles.”

    Me: “The same title?”

    Caller: “Yes.”

    Me: “No extra money?”

    Caller: “Err… yes.”

    Me: “No, I don’t think so.”

    Caller: *sounding deflated* “Oh.”

    (I didn’t hear anything from that company again, but I kept getting called from several different recruiters, telling me how perfect I would be for that role and how urgent it is that they get someone, but never any more money and always the same title.)

    Should Have Driven Home The Point More

    | MO, USA | Extra Stupid, Job Seekers

    (I’d worked for this particular pizza chain for many years before finally getting my own store. My first month there I realize I need to hire more staff and start taking applications right away. One of my very first interviews is for a delivery driver position and it is going well. We go over in detail what his job duties would be and he seems really excited about the job.)

    Me: “Well, everything looks great, I really like your enthusiasm, and I think you’ll be a great fit for this job. Now all I need to do is run an MVR (Motor Vehicle Report) on you and make sure you’re eligible to drive. It should only take a few days and I’ll let you know. I just need to see your license.”

    Interviewee: “What license?”

    Me: “Your driver’s license…”

    Interviewee: “Oh, I don’t have one of those.”

    Me: “You don’t have a driver’s license? You do realize this position is for a delivery driver, right?”

    Interviewee: “Yeah, but I didn’t think I needed to have a license to do that.”

    Me: “You didn’t think you needed a driver’s license to drive?”

    (After this I started asking every potential applicant BEFORE bringing them in for an interview. In the two years since this happened I’ve had this exact same conversation with more than a dozen people.)

    Work Is A Big Vacation

    | USA | Crazy Requests, Job Seekers

    (The park where I work operates primarily during the summer, so we do most of our hiring during the spring. This occurs near the end of June.)

    Me: *answering the phone* “Hello, [Park]. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “Yeah, hi. I applied and interviewed with you guys a while back, but I couldn’t start until now. Could I get scheduled?”

    Me: “Sure, can I get your name so I can pull up your information?”

    (The caller gives their name and I pull up the information. I see that, indeed, this person was hired on at the beginning of May, but there is a note stating that they could not start working until the end of June, due to an extended vacation abroad.)

    Me: “All right, I see everything looks like it’s in order. You need to get scheduled for training, right?”

    Caller: “Yeah, as soon as possible.”

    Me: “Sure thing.” *checks the system* “Looks like our next training sessions are already full, so the soonest I can schedule you is [a date in July].”

    Caller: “There’s nothing sooner? I was hoping I wouldn’t have to wait that long.”

    Me: “There is, but those trainings are already completely booked. I’m afraid the earliest one we have is [date I’ve already stated].”

    Caller: “That won’t work. I’m going out of town on [earlier date in July].”

    Me: “Okay… um… Can I ask when you are coming back from that trip?”

    Caller: “I won’t be back until [date near the end of July].”

    Me: “Okay. Umm… well, the next date we have after you return would be [date in August].”

    Caller: “That late!? There’s nothing earlier?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but all our other dates are when you’re going to be out of town. I’m afraid that is the earliest one that matches your availability.”

    Caller: *sighs* “Well, I was really hoping to start working earlier, but I guess I don’t have a choice. Thanks.” *hangs up*

    (I’m still not sure how this person expected to work during the busy summer season when spending nearly two and a half months on vacation!)


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