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    Category: Job Seekers

    A Test Question

    | Norway | Norway | Criminal/Illegal, Health & Body, Job Seekers

    (Though I originally applied for a job in tech support, I am given an interview in the sales division. It’s not what I’d hoped for, but I need the money. Note: I am straight edge, meaning I do not drink, smoke, or use drugs.)

    Interviewer: “What kind of music do you listen to?”

    Me: “Uh… I listen to anything, really, but I lean towards classical music, musicals, or stuff like [Band].”

    Interviewer: “[Band]? I’ve never heard of them.”

    Me: “Most Norwegians haven’t. They’re US-based, and better known there.”

    Interviewer: “I ask because I want to know if you’ll be a good fit with the rest of the team. We listen to a lot of music. Mostly techno and similar genres. Would you object to that?”

    Me: “Not really. I listen to a variety of music.”

    Interviewer: “Good. Next question, do you use drugs?”

    Me: *taken by surprise by the question* “What?! No!”

    Interviewer: “Oh, it’s no problem if you do. We just need to know, so we can tell you when there’s drug tests.”

    (I’m not really sure what their reasoning with that was, and I had self control enough not to point out it defeated the point of drug tests.)

    Should Have Phoned Ahead

    , | MI, USA | Ignoring/Inattentive, Job Seekers, School

    (One student worker is at the circulation desk and I am in my office, which looks out on the desk. A middle-aged woman comes into the library talking VERY loudly on her phone:)

    Woman: *keeps talking and shoves a paper at my student worker* “WORK STUDY!”

    Student Worker: “You are looking for a work study position?”

    (The woman nods and keeps talking on her phone. The student worker brings me the paper. It turns out to be the student’s schedule, showing when she can work.)

    Me: “I am sorry, you are getting a late start on this and we have already filled our positions this semester.”

    (The woman is given back her paper. On the way out of the library I hear her tell her friend:)

    Woman: “Man, ain’t nobody on this campus doing any hiring.”

    An Arrested Development

    | San Francisco, CA, USA | Job Seekers

    (I work at a temp agency assigning temporary employment. During the test, we run the applicant through a basic medical screening and application form, before concluding with a fingerprint session. My client today comes in with his father.)

    Me: “Okay, sir, here’s your application. Just fill it out real quick and return it when you’re done.”

    (He thanks me and moves off to the corner to fill out the form. He comes back when it’s done and I give him a drug test and a few hearing and eye tests for the job he’s applying for.)

    Me: “Okay, we’re almost done. If you’ll just step over here, we can take your fingerprints and you’ll be good to go.”

    Applicant: “You got it.”

    (I watch, dumbfounded as he motions his dad over and fingerprints his dad’s hands onto the stamp pad.)

    Me: “Sir, I meant your own fingers.”

    Applicant: “I can’t do that. Every time I give my fingerprints, I get arrested.”

    Free Failing

    | San Antonio, TX, USA | Bosses & Owners, Crazy Requests, Job Seekers, Money

    (A friend of mine is unofficially connected to an independent comic and gaming group that produces some stuff online. The owner asks him to go look for more talent for writing the group’s games and such. He knew that I am also an independent author and game developer on the side and occasionally do writing commissions.)

    Friend: “So maybe you’d be interested in doing some writing for their [Their Primary IP] roleplaying game?”

    Me: “Yeah, I could do that. Would he be offering me royalties or a flat commission rate?”

    Friend: “No, no, he can’t afford to give you money in payment.”

    Me: “Ohhhkay. Well, I wouldn’t mind some art from [artist of their group] in exchange for my writing then.”

    Friend: “No, unfortunately he won’t do an art exchange either. [Artist] needs to focus on other paid commissions so that they can pay for other stuff.”

    Me: “So I’d be doing this purely for exposure and my name being on the project?”

    Friend: “He doesn’t want your name on the project either.”

    Me: *long pause*

    Me: “He asked you to go out and “hire” people to do stuff absolutely for free? No compensation whatsoever? And they wouldn’t get to have any credit?”

    Friend: “Yeah, I told him it wouldn’t work very well.”

    Killed It At The Interview

    | Humberside, England, UK | Job Seekers, Liars/Scammers

    (I am currently unemployed. I see a job advertised for a trainee fitness instructor and, being interested, I apply. A few days later I get a telephone call from the company asking if they can conduct a phone interview. The phone interview goes very well right up until the very end:)

    Interviewer: “Congratulations! I’m pleased to tell you that you have passed the interview!”

    Me: “Wow! Thanks!”

    Interviewer: “Now, just so you know; there will be a training fee of £2,536 pounds.”

    (At this point my heart sinks as I realize it’s a scam.)

    Me: “That’s a lot of money…”

    Interviewer: “You can get a loan from our finance department for only £90 per month!”

    Me: “I need some time to think. Can you call me back later?”

    Interviewer: “Of course! I’ll call you back this afternoon.”

    (That afternoon they call back and a friend of mine answers.)

    Friend: “Hello?”

    Interviewer: “Hi! Is [My Name] there?”

    Friend: “Is this [Company]?”

    Interviewer: “It is.”

    Friend: “I’m sorry; she’s died. Goodbye.”

    (He then puts the phone down without waiting for a response. Later that day I get an email from the company stating they called and spoke to a “gentlemen who wouldn’t put them through to me.” I reply:)



    Sorry for the late reply; the signal here isn’t great!

    Unfortunately, as the gentleman you spoke to explained, I am dead. It was a very freak and unforeseen accident and I am still trying to get over it. To be completely honest, I just did not see the bus coming… I think I was still in a daze over the £2000 and something you wanted off me for this course.

    I do not see myself being able to register for this course in the near future, due primarily to my deceased state. Should I rise as a member of the undead, I will let you know. Also, if they reincarnate me I will be in touch; however, they have told me I might end up as a pot plant next time…

    Best wishes,

    The Late [My Name].”

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