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  • Swearing You Into A Job
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  • Category: Job Seekers

    Not An Interview You Want To Pass(word)

    | Pleasant Hill, CA, USA | Bosses & Owners, Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal, Job Seekers, Technology, Top

    (I’ve been called in for an interview at a store. Things seem to be going well until…)

    Interviewer: “All right, so all I need is your Facebook password.”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Interviewer: “I need your Facebook password. We do this as part of a check to make sure you’re not using social media for criminal activities.”

    Me: “I think I’m going to pass. Thank you for the opportunity, but this job isn’t for me.”

    Interviewer: “What’s the problem?! Do you have something to hide?”

    Me: “Not at all. It’s just that if I mention a disability, political stance, or religion that I may have on Facebook, and you saw that, it would be the same as asking me and that’s illegal.”

    Interviewer: “Uh…”

    Me: “Also, giving out my password to my Facebook account, or even just letting you access my account at ALL is a violation of Facebook policy. If I violate Facebook’s policy just to make you happy, how could you trust me to not violate [Company]’s policies?”

    Interviewer: “Er…”

    Me: “As I said, thank you for the opportunity, but this company isn’t the right company for me.”

    (Interestingly enough, asking for Facebook passwords or access to Facebook accounts became illegal in several states in January of 2013 shortly after it was reported on by several news companies.)

    Full-Time Idiot

    | Madison, WI, USA | Extra Stupid, Job Seekers

    Applicant: *on the phone* “I was in there two weeks ago and you told me you only have part time work. Can I get something full time now?”

    (I get her name and pull her file. She hasn’t been in since 2008.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I’m not seeing any activity in our system since 2008. When were you in?”

    Applicant: “Um, it was, like, this summer? Anyway, I talked to you. Why don’t you remember me?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but this is my first week here. Maybe you spoke with one of my colleagues? Are you sure it was [Our Business Name]?”

    Applicant: “Oh my god, why are you lying? I talked to you TWO WEEKS AGO and—wait, [Our Business Name]? I don’t understand. Why aren’t you [Competitor]?”

    Me: “… I’m sorry?”

    Applicant: “Why didn’t you tell me I called the wrong place? Oh my god, how am I supposed to know that? Why are you so rude?!” *click*

    Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 6

    | USA | Ignoring/Inattentive, Job Seekers

    (I’m a young female business owner who does custom knives. As each and every one of my knives is handcrafted and designed by me, I only have a small shop with two helpers: my best friend and her boyfriend. We are all working on a special project for a client when a girl about college age comes in wearing six-inch heels and a mini skirt in the middle of winter. This is odd because most clients set up appointments or place an order on my site to buy a knife or have one custom made. She is texting on her cellphone the whole time.)

    Girl: *without looking up, throws papers at my friend* “Yeah. Here’s my resume. I need a job here.”

    Friend: “Thank you, but I can tell you now that we aren’t hiring.”

    Girl: *still without looking up* “Do I look like I care if you’re not hiring? No. Get me the job anyway. It’s not like I’m gonna do actual work. I’m just here because my dad says I need to get a job.”

    Friend: *shocked at the bluntness* “Well, I don’t know of anyone that would hire a person who doesn’t plan on working. Add that with the fact that we don’t even need help and you’re not getting a job.”

    (The girl finally looks up and puts on a mean face. My friend notices me out of the corner of her eye, laughing my head off silently. My friend gives me a glare and I finally get a hold of myself and go into boss mode. I’m about to go to the front when the girl starts talking.)

    Girl: “I know the owner, and he said that you guys would give me the job. If you don’t I’m going to tell him how rude you guys were!”

    (I start laughing again, finally get a hold of myself, and go to the front.)

    Me: “Is there a problem?”

    Girl: *still texting* “YES. This employee won’t give me a job. Maybe you won’t be so stupid as I know the owner!”

    Me: “Oh really?”

    Girl: *still texting* “That’s right! The owner won’t be pleased when I tell him that he has such a bad employee!”

    Me: “You know the owner? How is it that I don’t believe you?”

    Girl: “OH. MY. GOD. Why are all his employees soooo stupid?! I’ll be back with my DADDY!”

    (She storms out fast, breaking her heel in the process. She spits onto the window and screams at us about the broken heel. We don’t think much of it after that until she comes back with a big burly man.)

    Man: “My daughter tells me that you did not give her a job even after she let you know that we know the owner! The owner will not be pleased!”

    (The girl has her arms crossed and a smug look on her face behind her dad.)

    Me: “Wow. The owner doesn’t seem to have great friends, huh?”

    Man: “I will have you fired!”

    Me: “Look. Why don’t we settle this now? There is the owner’s number on the wall. If you call the owner and you can tell me that he said he wants her hired, then I will.”

    Man: *gets a smug look on his face* “I WILL.”

    (He takes out his phone and the girl mouths at us ‘you guys are sooo in trouble!’ He dials a number then starts talking as if he is talking to someone.)

    Me: “EXCUSE ME. I know you’re not talking on the phone.”

    Man: “How dare you! I’ll have you know—”

    Me: “I know for a fact that you are not calling the owner because if you were, my phone would be ringing.”

    Man: “LYING B****! I know for a fact you’re just saying that! I know the owner! Plus you are way too young to own a business and you’re a girl! Quit lying before I have the owner sue you!”

    Me: “If you were smart you would notice right next to the number that there is a picture of the owner and the two employees. First of all, I don’t see a man in the owner’s position, but a picture of me. Also, if you would notice my name tag I have on, it says ‘owner’ and has the same name as the sign outside. So, you are talking to the owner. Would you please leave or do I have to have you escorted out by police, as you are causing a disturbance in MY shop?”

    (The man and girl get very red in the face and leave as fast as they can. We haven’t heard from them since.)

    Related:
    Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 5
    Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 4
    From NotAlwaysRight:
    Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 3
    Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 2
    Getting Owned By The Owner

    Not A Klan-destine Name

    | MI, USA | Bigotry, Bizarre/Silly, Bosses & Owners, Job Seekers, Themed Giveaway

    (While I’m working, two supervisors walk into my office and close the door. I assume this cannot be a good thing, until they both burst out laughing.)

    Supervisor #1: “You would not believe the interview we just had! We were interviewing for the open maintenance position, and it was already going badly; the guy was wearing enough cologne that I needed to turn on a fan and ventilate the room. So we get to the end of our questions, and I ask if he has any questions for us. So he asks if we ‘have a problem with diversity’ here.”

    Supervisor #2: “We were confused; we thought maybe he just wanted to know if there was diversity among the staff, and phrased it awkwardly.”

    Supervisor #1: “So I explained that the maintenance department is very diverse: Native Americans, Latinos, Whites, African-Americans, recent immigrants from Eastern Europe…”

    Supervisor #2: “And he buts in and says, ‘But do you have trouble with the blacks and whites working together? Don’t they have conflicts?’”

    Supervisor #1: “And we have no idea what to say. So as we’re thanking him for his time, I look at his resume again, and notice that his name is K**** K. K*****. It’s either the worst coincidence in history, or he changed his name so his initials would be KKK!”

    (Somehow, I don’t think he’s going to get the job.)

    Earning Your Dinner

    | OR, USA | Bosses & Owners, Job Seekers, Top

    (There is a store a couple of blocks from my house that I go to fairly often. I apply to try and get a job, but am turned down. Since then I have found a better job. After work I swing by to grab something for dinner, still in my uniform and name badge. Immediately, I am pounced on by three customers from different directions. This is despite my uniform being completely different from the store’s uniform.)

    Customer #1: “FINALLY! There are no workers anywhere! I need to know where walnuts are! The baking aisle isn’t where it used to be!”

    Customer #2: “No, help me first! There are no more paper towels on the rack! They are on sale and I need them!”

    Customer #3: “When you can, please, I need 20 bags of ice from the freezer.”

    Me: “Uh… I don’t work here.”

    Customer #1: “Oh of course you do! NOW, WALNUTS!”

    Me: “Aisle eight is the baking aisle now, after the reset a week ago. Walnuts will be with the other nuts right next to the frostings, third shelf down I believe, about halfway down the aisle on the right.” *I turn to Customer #2* “Paper towels? If the rack is empty you should check at the end of aisle 15, there was a display end cap for them I saw yesterday and there should be plenty left.”

    (I then turn to Customer #3, a little old lady who needs the ice. I lead her to the frozen aisle, load her cart for her, and give her a polite salute when she says goodbye. Then I finally grab my dinner and make my way to a check-stand. The cashier happens to be the owner, and as he rings me up he frowns.)

    Owner: “Why the h*** don’t you work for me?!”

    Me: “Uh… you never hired me.”

    Owner: “An inexcusable oversight on my part! I heard you helping those people. Still need a job?”

    Me: *I show him my badge from work* “Nope! Thanks though.”

    Owner: “D***!”


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