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    Category: Language & Words

    The Key To Listening

    | Peoria, IL, USA | Bosses & Owners, Extra Stupid, Language & Words

    (I’ve just arrived for my shift and need a second person to go to the back with me so I can get my money, as I don’t have a key.)

    Me: “I need someone with a door key, please!”

    Coworker #1: “I don’t have a door key. Ask [Coworker #2].”

    Coworker #2: “What?”

    Me: “Do you have a door key? I need my money.”

    Coworker #2: “I do have a door key!”

    Teller Supervisor: *from another room* “STOP CALLING PEOPLE ‘DORKY’! THAT’S NOT NICE!”

    Putting The ‘Y’ Into ‘Why Did I Hire You?’

    | CA, USA | Employees, Language & Words

    (One of my employees is on the phone:)

    Employee: “Systolic… that’s “S” as in Sam, “Y” as in Wyoming…”

    Not Determined On Terminology

    | The Netherlands | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Language & Words, Technology

    (I’m presenting a user interface design to my team.)

    Developer: *pointing at imagery* “So, this is an overlayer?”

    Me: “That’s an overlay, or a modal screen, indeed.”

    Developer: “Ah, so, an overlayer.”

    Me: “It’s overlay, not overlayer.”

    Developer: “No, it’s overlayer.”

    Me: “Overlayer sounds like a combination of overlay and layer to me. ‘Overlay’ is a word, and a ‘layer’ is a Photoshop term. Overlayer is not commonly used in this field. Just call it an overlay, or modal.”

    Developer: “Whatever, it’s just an overlayer to me.”

    Me: “Can we just stick to one word to avoid confusion? Overlay is the right word for it. Just use it.”

    Developer: “It’s overlayer.”

    Me: *facepalm*

    (This provided for a lot of confusion in the following meetings with team members, managers, and even stakeholders. The same happened for ‘throbber’, which is a little-known, but short and simple word for ‘thingy that spins when you are waiting for something to load’ – the term they insisted on using…)

    Red It And Weep

    | NC, USA | Ignoring/Inattentive, Language & Words

    (My friend and I stop for some drinks on the way back from the library. She places her order.)

    Barista: “And your name, for your drink?”

    Friend: “Bren.”

    (I look at her, as I’ve never heard her use this particular variant of her name.)

    Friend: “It’s the name I’ve been giving out for stuff like this. It’s just easier.”

    (We go to wait, and our drinks are made pretty quick.)

    Friend: “What the- look at what they put for my name!”

    (It reads “RED” but it’s the same drink she ordered and was done right after mine.)

    Me: “Don’t worry; I’ve had people screw up my name much worse.”

    Getting The Message Across

    | GA, USA | Bad Behavior, Bosses & Owners, Language & Words

    (My dad works at a company that designs and produces light fixtures. His division is him, two other people, and the boss, a loud Irish man well-known for his bad language.)

    Boss: *storms in and shouts* “One of you, e-mail [Client] and tell him to F*** OFF FOR A BIT!”


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