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    Category: Language & Words

    They Got There In The End-o

    | WA, USA | Employees, Language & Words, Rude & Risque, Transportation

    (I live in Washington, but I bought a motorcycle online from a seller in Florida. I am looking for a shipping center that can receive it, so I am calling around to gauge my options.)

    Employee: “Hello, [Shipping Center].”

    Me: “Hi, I have a question for you.”

    Employee: “Sure, go ahead.”

    Me: “What is the biggest package you can take?”

    Employee: “Do you really think I haven’t heard that one before? F*** off until you get a better joke.” *hangs up*

    (Not quite the response I was expecting, but judging by my wording, I don’t blame him. I give him another call.)

    Employee: “Hello, [Shipping Center].”

    Me: “I’m really sorry about earlier, but I bought a motorcycle out-of-state. Do you guys accept shipments that big?”

    Employee: “Oh, that’s what you meant? Yeah, we can store motorcycles.”

    (I talked to him some more about setting up an account, expected shipping dates, and other important stuff. On the day my motorcycle arrived, I actually met this guy in person. He was actually a very friendly fellow, and he’s also a very big fan of motorcycles. His biggest pet peeve happened to be prank callers, and, by his own admission, that is the only time anyone saw his bad side.)

    A Very Scary Month

    | Montreal, QC, Canada | Coworkers, Language & Words

    (My coworker is from France. His accent is very good, but is very strong with certain words:)

    Coworker: ‘’I need the report from a ghost.’’

    Me: ‘’What?’’

    Coworker: ‘’ A ghost. A ghost’s report. It’s missing?’’

    Me: ‘’A ghost report?’’

    Coworker: ‘Yes. A ghost.’’

    Me: ‘’Ghost.’’

    (He wanted the report from August.)

    Death Defying Colors

    | Victoria, BC, Canada | Employees, Language & Words

    (Two women approach my till.)

    Woman: “Do you have books on dying and grieving?”

    Me: “Yes, of course. Right this way.”

    (I take her and her friend to our psychology section where at the top there are books on death and dying. The women look at each other awkwardly.)

    Woman: “Umm… we said dyeing and weaving.”

    (I promptly took them to our crafts section, apologizing the whole way!)

    Cooked Just Like Grandma Used To

    | NS, Canada | Coworkers, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Ignoring/Inattentive, Language & Words

    (Coworker and I are chatting about what we did the previous weekend:)

    Coworker: ”…and then we went over to my grandma’s house.”

    (The phone rings.)

    Coworker: ”Oh, just a sec.” *answering phone* ”Welcome to my grandma’s house…”

    (My coworker’s face immediately turns bright red. She quickly hands me the phone, runs out back into the kitchen, and bursts out laughing.)

    Me: *to the customer on the phone* ”Sorry about that. Welcome to [Restaurant]. How may I help you?”

    The Sad State Of Kate

    | OH, USA | Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive, Language & Words

    (I’m a female with a typically male name, and people often get confused when I tell them what it is. In this instance, I’m at a restaurant where I have to give my name.)

    Employee: “And what name should I put on the order?”

    Me: “Caden.”

    Employee: “Katie?”

    Me: “C-A-D-E-N.”

    Employee: “That’s a weird way to spell Katie.”


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