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    Category: Language & Words

    Digging A Deeper Hole For Themselves

    | NV, USA | Job Seekers, Language & Words, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m standing in the elevator with a well-dressed but nervous looking young woman. She turns to me.)

    Woman: “Do you work in [Department]?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Woman: “Is the department head nice? I’m going to my interview right now and I’m really worried that he’ll be an a**-hole or something. This is my first job and I’m kind of freaking out.”

    (She giggles nervously. I blink at her a few times, then offer her my hand.)

    Me: “Hi, I’m [Department Head]. You must be [Name]. I promise I’m not an a**-hole.”

    (She turned red and started apologizing profusely. Luckily, I thought it was funny, and ended up hiring her. She’s still one of my best employees.)

    Be Mindful Of Typos

    | Johannesburg, South Africa | Employees, Job Seekers, Language & Words

    (I have just been promoted to junior recruitment consultant. Unfortunately, I do not have an assistant to type my documents and résumés so I ask the receptionist to help me. This also gives her the ability to grow in her position as no one else gives her that chance. We always inform our clients if we interview the candidates in person, telephonically, or via Skype.)

    Client: “Hahaha! My boss thinks you guys are brilliant!”

    Me: “Um, why?”

    Client: “The resume says you guys interviewed this candidate telepathically!”

    (Turned out the receptionist had typed on the resume ‘telepathically’ instead of ‘telephonically’ and I hadn’t picked it up when I sent the resume to the client. She even won an award with our head office for this little blunder…)

    Weather And Heights Don’t Mix On The Heath Cliff

    | Somerset, NJ, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Language & Words

    (I’m in line for the customer service desk when this takes place.)

    Customer: “Hi, I’m looking for a copy of Wuthering Heights.”

    Worker: “Okay.” *types on computer* “I do not see that book here.”

    Customer: “Really? That’s weird…”

    Me: “Excuse me? I think I know the book you’re looking for.”

    (The worker had typed ‘weather and heights’ instead of ‘Wuthering Heights.’ I had to spell the title out for her.)

    A World-Changing Donation

    , | ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Bizarre/Silly, Employees, Language & Words

    (We are currently in competition with competing stores to collect the most donations for world hunger relief. My coworker takes a drive thru order:)

    Coworker: “Hi, welcome to [Fast Food]. This is [Coworker] speaking. Would you like to donate a dollar to end world hunger?”

    (The customer says yes, orders, and then pulls up. As she is making his order she distractedly takes the next order:)

    Coworker: “Hi, welcome to [Fast Food]. This is [Coworker] speaking. Would you like to donate a dollar to end the world?”

    Customer: *nervously* “Uhm, no, thank you.”

    Coworker: “Oh my gosh! I am so sorry! To end world hunger! Not the world!”

    Customer: “Well, in that case, sure!”

    Got The Innuendo In The End-o

    | IL, USA | Coworkers, Language & Words, Rude & Risque

    (We have just received a shipment of office supplies, including some small pieces of furniture which require some assembly. I volunteer to build them, only to find that tools were not included with the parts.)

    Me: “Hey, does anyone know if we have a little wrench or something here?”

    Coworker #1: “Um, I don’t know. Why?”

    Me: “Oh, I’m putting together our new stuff, but they didn’t include any tools.”

    Coworker #1: *starting to giggle* “Um, so you need a little tool?”

    Coworker #2: *also starting to laugh* “I’m not sure I have any tool to give you.”

    Me: *not getting the joke* “Well, I just need, like, a wrench or something. I have to tighten my nuts.”

    (Both of my coworkers lose it as I realize what I’ve just said.)

    Me: “You both are horrible!”

    (Later, after I’ve finished assembling the furniture, I got them back.)

    Me: “There! All done! I just needed the right tool for my nuts!”


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