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    Category: Language & Words

    Hurt Their Chicken Tender Feelings

    | NC, USA | Food & Drink, Ignoring/Inattentive, Language & Words, Technology

    (I am volunteering for a concession stand for my sister’s marching band, along with that sister and our mom. Mom and I are working at registers and both of them have been malfunctioning on us. As volunteers, we can’t do anything but wait for help when this happens. Luckily, there are very few people in line.)

    Customer: “Hi, I’m not sure what I want yet.”

    Me: “No problem. Take your time!”

    Customer: “What do you have ready?”

    Me: “Well, it looks like we’ve got burgers, fries, and chicken tenders ready right now.”

    Customer: “How are the chicken tenders?”

    Mom: “Uh-oh, my register isn’t scanning again.”

    Me: *under my breath* “Well, that’s not good at all.”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “Did you just tell me the chicken tenders aren’t good?”

    Me: “Oh, I am so sorry!” *I point to my mom, who is frowning and pushing buttons* “Her register is acting up. I meant that wasn’t good.”

    Customer: “Oh!” *starts laughing*

    Me: “The chicken tenders are actually my favorite thing we serve here. I would definitely recommend them!”

    (The customer was happy to order after that. Phew!)

    Speaking Gingerly On The Subject

    | NY, USA | Coworkers, Language & Words

    (I am talking to my coworker/friend, who has a minor computer problem and wants to contact IT. We know a reliable guy in IT who also happens to have the same first name as one of the people on our team, but one of them is Italian with dark looks, while the other is redheaded and pale.)

    Coworker: “I’m going to email [First Name] about my computer now.”

    Me: “Yeah. Make sure you don’t email ginger [First Name]!”

    Coworker: *suddenly almost whispering* “Hey, you can’t say that!”

    Me: “What, ‘ginger'”?

    Coworker: “Yeah!”

    Me: “Are you saying ‘ginger’ is a derogatory word?”

    Coworker: “Kind of…”

    Lay It All Out On A Plate For You

    | London, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Employees, Language & Words

    (I was born and raised in Warsaw but I move to London when I am 22 so I can support my mother after she recently became a widow. I take the first job that’s offered to me, and whilst the pay rate is awesome the hours are sometimes unforgiving. On this particular night, there’s no exception. Almost all night we have been busy, and I end up staying until the very early hours of the next morning, hungry and tired. I decide to stop off at a 24/7 cafe to pick up some food on the way home. I’m eating my food when the waitress walks over. It’s clear that English isn’t her first language.)

    Waitress: “I take plate for you, sir?”

    Me: *nods as I don’t want to be rude and talk with my mouthful*

    Waitress: “…sir? I take, yes?”

    (I get the idea that she hasn’t noticed I’m still eating, so I decide to raise a finger, motioning to her that when I finish eating I can speak. However, she pulls a face, grabs the empty plate and walks off without a word. I think nothing of it and finish eating before walking up to the counter to pay. It’s only when I approach the counter I hear this from the same waitress.)

    Waitress: *In Polish* “Stupid fat p***k! Why couldn’t he of just said something! There was no need for him to be an a** about it!”

    (I am shocked at this point. Not because of her comments about my weight because I’m pretty skinny, but because of how foul mouthed she is. I’m behind two other guests, before I come forward to pay. By amazing coincidence, the same waitress is taking my pay for my food.)

    Waitress: *In the nicest English accent* “Did you enjoy everything, sir?”

    Me: “Oh, the food was nice, believe me. But there was one really bad thing about my experience.”

    Waitress: “Oh yeah? What happened, sir?”

    Me: *in Polish* “You. I cannot believe someone with such a bad mouth would dare speak about their patrons like that. There was no need for you to get upset about me not responding verbally to your earlier question, as you could plainly see I was eating, and I didn’t want to spit food all over you. Now, I do believe I need to pay my bill before I leave. And you’re not getting a tip.”

    (The waitress went white in the face and processed my bill in record time. As soon as she received my money and completed the sale, she pretty much bolted from the counter!)

    Caught In A Chinese Language Trap

    | USA | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Coworkers, Language & Words

    (My father had an Asian coworker who worked front-house at the rib shack he works at. One day a customer walks in and is extremely rude to him. The coworker speaks perfect English, having been born in America.)

    Customer: *very slowly and loudly* “I WOULD LIKE TO ORDER [ITEM]!”

    Coworker: *asks him to repeat his order in scattered English*

    Customer: *even louder* “I WOULD LIKE TO ORDER [ITEM].”

    Coworker: *asks him to repeat in even more scattered English*

    (This goes on for some time, and the coworker decides that the louder the customer says his order, the less English he knows. The coworker ends up shouting very angry-sounding Chinese very quickly, punctuating it with sharp arm movements. The customer leaves out of frustration.)

    Dad: *after he finally stops laughing* “What were you shouting at that guy, anyway?”

    Coworker: “I think it was an old fairy tale my parents used to tell me. It’s basically the Chinese version of Sleeping Beauty.”

    The Ultimate Bye

    | HI, USA | Language & Words

    (I work in the section next to our busiest doors to the outside. I say ‘Hi!’ and ‘Bye!’ in succession to people going in and out, until one time when, with a cheery smile, I said:)

    Me: “Die!”

    (Luckily I don’t think anyone noticed my use of the wrong consonant!)


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