• An Understanding Disability - 829 votes
  • November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

    Category: Language & Words

    Sleeping On The Job

    | Salt Lake City, UT, USA | Language & Words, Rude & Risque

    (I work in the human resources department for a large company, with a centralized HR model. My job is to answer the phone calls of employees, and I usually start out with a greeting and asking who I am speaking with. Only today I slipped up:)

    Me: “This is [My Name], may I ask who am I sleeping with?”

    Endowed With Knowledge

    | WY, USA | Bosses & Owners, Language & Words, Rude & Risque

    (I work as a cashier at a popular craft store in my area. A customer has asked me a question I don’t know the answer to and it just happens that my manager is up front talking to my supervisor. I escort the customer over to ask the manager to help us.)

    Me: “Here’s my manager! He’ll be able to help answer your question!”

    Supervisor: “Yep, he’s very well endowed!”

    (There’s a very long pause as she and everyone else processes what she just said.)

    Supervisor: *who is now a bright red* “Oh d***, I meant well INFORMED! WELL INFORMED!” *we’re all laughing at her at this point* “I’m never going to live this down, am I?”

    (Nope, she’s never gonna live it down!)

    The Wambu Method Works

    Chicago, IL, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Language & Words

    (Telemarketers are a pain, especially when they won’t take no for an answer. After getting calls from the same company for about a week and unable to make them stop, I decide to mess with them. The following is roughly what happened:)

    Caller: “Hello, I’m calling from [some useless article distributer] and I was wondering if you’d be interested in [useless article]?”

    Me: “Gue? Canthym ushwess comphrest!”

    Caller: “Um, excuse me?”

    Me: “Wichten! Wichten wue triggen wears!”

    Caller: “Miss, I’m afraid I don’t understand—”

    Me: *screaming* “WAMBU!”

    Caller: *slams the phone down*

    (I haven’t heard from them since.)

    Hasn’t Had His Morning Cup Of Joe

    | Long Island, NY, USA | Employees, Language & Words

    (I am on the phone:)

    Person: “Hi, can I talk to Human Resources?”

    Me: “Um, we don’t have a Human Resources department in our store.”

    Person: “I’d like to speak with Human Resources.”

    Me: “We don’t have Human Resources at this store.”

    Person: “Oh, well, someone, I think he said his name is Joe, called me and asked if I could come in for a job interview, but it went to my voicemail so I’m calling back.”

    Me: “Oh! Okay! Let me get the manager for you. And by the way, the manager’s name is Phil.”

    Person: “Did you say his name is Joseph?”

    Me: “No, his name is Phil.”

    Person: “I hate this phone. His name is Joe?”

    Me: “Phil.”

    Person: “Joe?”

    Me: “Phil!”

    Person: “Is it Bill?”

    Me: *giving up* “Yes.”

    Our Service Plan For Life And Death

    | UK | Employees, Language & Words

    (I’m the staff member, and the idiot in this story. I am serving a very elderly couple (at least in their 90s) who are both very sweet and understand and appreciate how patient I am with their questions, as technology is not their strong suit. They begin to say their goodbyes.)

    Customers: “Thank you very much, young lady; your customer service was brilliant.”

    Me: “You’re welcome. Come back anytime with any questions. My name is [My Name] and I’ll always be happy to help.”

    Customers: “We definitely will!”

    Me: “Okay, guys; enjoy the rest of your days!”

    (The look I received made me want to sink into the earth and die! I was so embarrassed! One slip of the tongue and I sounded like Lucifer announcing their deaths! I have yet to see them return.)

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