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Featured Story:
  • Being Sweet When You’re Sixteen
    (1,215 thumbs up)
  • Category: Language & Words

    Bear That In Mind If You Have One

    | Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Language & Words, Pets & Animals

    (I have just returned to work after a camping trip and am telling some coworkers about it at lunch.)

    Me: “In the middle of the night, I woke up to hear a bear shuffling around right outside the tent! I was glad I’d thought to put the food in the car. We heard in the morning they’d caught a bear in one of the humane bear traps. We had seen the signs up for the traps, but we didn’t think the bears were so close.”

    Coworker: *rolling eyes* “That’s stupid.”

    Me: “What? What’s stupid?”

    Coworker: “Well, the bears are just going to read the signs and know the bear traps are up and avoid the traps.”

    (Everyone stares at this coworker for a moment.)

    Me: “Uh… Bears can’t read.”

    Coworker: *genuinely surprised* “Really?!”

    Hooray For Mr. Gay

    | Oklahoma City, OK, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers, Language & Words

    (A customer with the last name ‘Gay’ pops on my screen as I receive his call.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. How can I help you?”

    (As the customer asks questions about his bill and I answer, my obnoxious coworker looks over at the name on my screen.)

    Coworker: “How can we help you today, Mr. Gay? You want to pay? What do you say? Yay or nay?”

    (I give coworker a sign to shut up and continue the conversation until the caller is clear about his bill.)

    Me: “Is there anything else we can do for you today, sir?”

    Caller: “Fire that guy with the big mouth!”

    Me: “Uh… Yes, sir.”

    (When I told my coworker that Mr. Gay heard him his face turned red and he made it a point to keep his mouth in check from then on. It was the only time that day a customer WAS right.)

    He’ll Have You In Stitches

    | Prince George, BC, Canada | Employees, Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Language & Words

    (My mom takes me to the doctor’s to get some stitches removed. It’s not unusual for our family doctor to have students, and he usually sends them in first to get the preliminary work done.)

    Student Doctor: *looking at chart* “Okay, so you’re in for… ROS?” *looks at my mom in confusion* “What does ROS stand for?”

    Mom: “Could it possibly stand for ‘removal of stitches’?”

    Student Doctor: *looks at chart again* “Why, yes, I suppose it could. Why would you suggest that?”

    Mom: “Maybe because we’re here to get her stitches removed?”

    Student Doctor: “… Oh.”

    An Avalanche Of Incompetence

    | MI, USA | Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive, Language & Words, Themed Giveaway

    (I am 11 years old. I’m going skiing for the first time. We get everything that we need and start skiing. I’m having trouble slowing down and turning. I weigh only 75 lbs.)

    Sister: “It was weird that your skis weren’t stopping and slowing down.”

    Me: “Yeah, but maybe you would know what skis are easier to control.”

    Sister: “Well, actually, I wouldn’t. But I will ask the lady up at the ski rental for some better skis for you.”

    (My sister and I walk up to the ski rental.)

    Sister: “Excuse me? Ma’am?”

    Employee: “Yes?”

    Sister: “My little sister had trouble turning and stopping out on the slopes. Also when she was clipping her boots into the ski, she had to try multiple times. Do you have any idea why?”

    (My sister hands the lady my skis.)

    Employee: “How tall is your sister?”

    (Note: when you are renting skis, you need to fill out a form stating your name, height, weight, and other various information.)

    Me: “I’m 4’9″.”

    Employee: “These skis were too long for her. How much does she weigh?”

    Me: “I weigh 75 lbs.”

    Employee: “The clip was for somebody who weighs 120-150 lbs.”"

    Sister: “So you read the form she filled out, ignored it, and gave her skis that were for someone who weighs double her weight and for someone taller? You do realize that she could have seriously hurt herself because you were too lazy to read the form?”

    Employee: “So? You should have been watching her better!”

    Some Bigotry Just Takes The Cake

    | Swansea, South Wales, UK | Bigotry, Employees, Food & Drink, Language & Words, Themed Giveaway

    (My brother and I are both English by birth and have English accents, but my parents and grandparents are all Welsh and have Welsh accents. We have gone to South Wales to visit the family and are in Swansea Market.)

    Me: “Welshcakes! Can we have some, please?”

    (Mum goes to order. My brother and I keep chatting away.)

    Stallholder: *to person behind us* “What can I get you, love?”

    (We assume the stallholder hadn’t seen us, but this happens a few more times and it becomes obvious we are being ignored.)

    Mum: “Excuse me. Are we being served?”

    (The stallholder blanks us and serves more local Welsh customers.)

    Mum: “Are you not serving me because my children have got English accents?”

    (Again, no response. Luckily, another Welshcake stallholder is opposite and has seen everything.)

    Other Stallholder: *loudly, so everyone can hear* “Come over here, love! I’ll serve you. And my Welshcakes are much better than hers!”

    (We go over, and get a couple of free Welshcakes. Other customers who witnessed the situation come to this stall instead. The nice stallholder made a fair bit of money that day!)

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