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    Category: Language & Words

    A Very Scary Month

    | Montreal, QC, Canada | Coworkers, Language & Words

    (My coworker is from France. His accent is very good, but is very strong with certain words:)

    Coworker: ‘’I need the report from a ghost.’’

    Me: ‘’What?’’

    Coworker: ‘’ A ghost. A ghost’s report. It’s missing?’’

    Me: ‘’A ghost report?’’

    Coworker: ‘Yes. A ghost.’’

    Me: ‘’Ghost.’’

    (He wanted the report from August.)

    Death Defying Colors

    | Victoria, BC, Canada | Employees, Language & Words

    (Two women approach my till.)

    Woman: “Do you have books on dying and grieving?”

    Me: “Yes, of course. Right this way.”

    (I take her and her friend to our psychology section where at the top there are books on death and dying. The women look at each other awkwardly.)

    Woman: “Umm… we said dyeing and weaving.”

    (I promptly took them to our crafts section, apologizing the whole way!)

    Cooked Just Like Grandma Used To

    | NS, Canada | Coworkers, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Ignoring/Inattentive, Language & Words

    (Coworker and I are chatting about what we did the previous weekend:)

    Coworker: “…and then we went over to my grandma’s house.”

    (The phone rings.)

    Coworker: “Oh, just a sec.” *answering phone* “Welcome to my grandma’s house…”

    (My coworker’s face immediately turns bright red. She quickly hands me the phone, runs out back into the kitchen, and bursts out laughing.)

    Me: *to the customer on the phone* “Sorry about that. Welcome to [Restaurant]. How may I help you?”

    The Sad State Of Kate

    | OH, USA | Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive, Language & Words

    (I’m a female with a typically male name, and people often get confused when I tell them what it is. In this instance, I’m at a restaurant where I have to give my name.)

    Employee: “And what name should I put on the order?”

    Me: “Caden.”

    Employee: “Katie?”

    Me: “C-A-D-E-N.”

    Employee: “That’s a weird way to spell Katie.”

    A Caustic Sense Of Humor

    | ON, Canada | Coworkers, Language & Words

    (We are re-doing our annual safety training including PPE, chemicals etc.)

    Instructor: “So does anyone know what caustic means?”

    Coworker: “Yes, that’s the good one, right? The one we all want?”

    (Everyone is laughing.)

    Coworker: “No, I’m sure that’s the good one.  My mom calls me caustic all the time. It’s a good thing.”

    Boss: “You are, and it’s not.”

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