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    Category: Language & Words

    Delta Uniform Mike Bravo

    | Kent, England, UK | Coworkers, Language & Words

    (Two of my coworkers have decided to learn the phonetic alphabet and are looking at a website with a list on it.)

    Coworker #1: “Why is Z ‘zulu’? It doesn’t make sense!”

    Coworker #2: “Yeah, it would be better if it was zebra.”

    Coworker #1: “Or xylophone!”

    Me: “… Xylophone starts with an ‘X.’”

    Coworker #1: “Oh, yeah…”

    A Labor-Force Of Love

    | FL, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Bosses & Owners, Language & Words

    (I am in Boss #2′s office, participating in a call between Boss #2 and Boss #1, who is in the next office. Both are middle-aged males.)

    Boss #2: *explaining a process* “Will that work?”

    Boss #1: “Yes, that’s fine. I love you!” *hangs up*

    (Boss #2 and I look at each other and burst out laughing, Boss #1 hears us.)

    Boss #1: “What, what’d I say?” *we tell him* “Oh, sorry, I was just talking to my wife. Nothing personal. I promise!”

    A Tired Basket Case

    | Australia | At The Checkout, Language & Words

    (It has been a long day, and I am not feeling great. I have been serving between a register and the separate cigarette kiosk. A customer walks up to my counter with a basket of shopping.)

    Me: “Hi. What can I get for you today?”

    Customer: “Umm… just what’s in my basket?”

    (The customer and I burst out laughing, realizing my mistake.)

    Cheering Up And Dumbing Down

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Coworkers, Language & Words, Top

    (I work with a woman whose first language isn’t English. She speaks with a strong accent and has good skills but doesn’t realise that customers don’t always get the grasp of what she is saying. I often find myself butting in to translate for customers. Another staff member has let me know that it’s upsetting her because she thinks I think she is stupid. She definitely isn’t. After one such incident, she’s walked off and I can see she is upset so follow her to explain.)

    Me: “[Coworker], I am sorry if I upset you by butting in on your customer.”

    Coworker: “It’s okay.”

    Me: “No, I realise I upset you by doing it and need to explain. I know you are very smart and while I understand what you have said perfectly, sometimes the customers don’t.”

    Coworker: “Huh?”

    Me: “Yes, You explain things to them like they are intelligent adults, but need to realise that most of them are actually dumb. You often can’t work out how to dumb it down. I speak perfect dumb which is why I butt in.”

    (My coworker burst out laughing and hugged me.)

    I’ll Go With Option Number Two

    , | Kitchener, ON, Canada | Employees, Food & Drink, Language & Words

    (We have recently gotten a new dessert: a pop tart ice cream sandwich. We are supposed to suggest it at the end of the order.)

    Coworker: “Will that be everything today?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Coworker: “Would you like an apple pie or our new poop tart— pop tart ice cream sandwich?”

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