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  • Watch Your Tongues
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  • Category: Lazy/Unhelpful

    Not Quite The Cream Cheese Of The Crop

    | AL, USA | Employees, Food & Drink, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (My university has a little coffee shop which includes free cream cheese with a bagel purchase. I always use two cream cheese packs, but only see one today.)

    Me: “Hi. Do you have any more cream cheese?”

    Worker: “Depends. Are you going to buy a bagel?”

    Me: “Depends. Do you have any more cream cheese?”

    It’s The Small Things That Are Important

    | USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (I’m ordering at the concessions stand at my favorite movie theater. Their popcorn sizes have always been small, regular, and large, exactly as indicated on the menu board. Popcorn buckets of all three sizes are stacked behind the counter.)

    Me: “I’d like a small popcorn and a small coke, please.”

    Cashier: “We don’t have small popcorn.”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Cashier: “We don’t have small popcorn.”

    Me: *points at the smallest bucket* “This is small popcorn. I’d like popcorn from a bucket this size, please.”

    Cashier: “We don’t have small popcorn. This is regular popcorn. We don’t have small popcorn.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. It’s always been small, regular, and large here. You should probably change the menu so people don’t get confused.”

    Cashier: *blank stare*

    Me: “Oh well. I’d like what used to be small popcorn. So, regular popcorn. From this bucket.” *points at the smallest bucket again*

    Cashier: “We don’t have small popcorn.”

    (This exchange goes on for a minute or two. I don’t know what to say anymore, so I reach over the counter, grab the bucket and hand it to the cashier.)

    Me: “Please fill this with popcorn and price me. I’d also like a small [Soda] with that.”

    Cashier: “But we don’t have small [Soda]…”

    Not Married To The Idea Of This Photographer

    | England, UK | Crazy Requests, Employees, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (We are shopping for a wedding photographer but not having much luck finding one we could afford, when…)

    Me: “Hi, I see your offer. Can you tell me about it?”

    Photographer: *explains detail*

    Me: “Not bad. We are getting wed at [Location #1] and the reception is at [Location #2].”

    Photographer: “Oh, is it set in stone?”

    Me: “Well, yes. We like them and they mean a lot to us.”

    Photographer: *makes a face* “Well, it’s not very photogenic…”

    Me: “I’m not changing it.”

    Photographer: “Well, I guess we could drive to [Park] and do it there.”

    Me: “Drive 60 people clear across town in a rainy month? No.”

    Photographer: “Well, I don’t really like shooting in churches.”

    (Safe to say we found another wedding photographer cheaper, and one who didn’t mind working in a church!)

    Has A Bone To Pick With Your Prognosis

    | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Bad Behavior, Employees, Health & Body, Ignoring/Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (I’d fallen on my hand while being slung playing a local game of AFL football. After waiting for over two hours in the emergency room and having an x-ray on my wrist I finally get to talk to the doctor.)

    Doctor: “Well, it doesn’t look like you’ve hurt yourself, so you can leave.”

    Me: “Do you mind if I have a look? I’m studying exercise rehabilita—”

    Doctor: “I do mind. It’s a busy Saturday and I don’t care to have my opinion verified by you.”

    (She finally gives me something for the pain and I get a lift home. On Monday morning I get an interesting phone call.)

    Caller: “Hi, this is the head of radiology at the hospital. We were just reviewing the x-rays from your emergency. We need you to come in as you’ve actually broken a bone in your wrist.”

    (I was in the hospital by mid-afternoon and in surgery two days later to pin my scaphoid back together. Luckily I didn’t need a bone transplant from my hip. Turns out she thought it was two separate bones. It was nice to have the head of radiology make a cast for me, though, with his sincere apologies!)

    Bedside Manner-less

    | Dover, DE, USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body, Ignoring/Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (I’m 15 years old and am noticing that a mole I’ve had since birth on my stomach area is becoming red and inflamed and is extremely sensitive to the touch. I tell this to my mother, and she arranges a dermatologist appointment.)

    Doctor: *to me* “So, are you [Mom]?”

    Me: “No, I’m [My Name]. My mom just made the appointment.”

    Doctor: *nods* “Okay, then, what’s the problem?”

    Me: *lifting my shirt just enough to show the mole, which happens to be inflamed and red at the time of the appointment* “This mole on my stomach’s been really sensitive lately. It’s inflamed and red and just the fabric of my shirt moving against it hurts a lot.”

    Doctor: *pokes the mole* “Well, it doesn’t look like cancer.”

    (While I was relieved to later have a biopsy done and hear the results were cancer-free, I never really felt all that comfortable hearing the news from this doctor.)


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