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    Category: Liars/Scammers

    Getting Charged With False Battery

    | USA | Employees, Liars/Scammers, Transportation

    (I’m at my dealership getting my routine oil changes, sitting in the customer waiting area. It’s mid-winter and my car is starting up just fine except when it gets really cold.)

    Tech: “So, you’re battery is testing bad and you’ll need to replace it soon.”

    Me: “Okay, and how much will that cost?”

    Tech: “About 110 plus tax.”

    Me: “Well I don’t have that right now. It will have to wait.”

    (Fast forward to the summer time and I’m doing another oil change.)

    Me: “So, the last few times I’ve been here, I was told the battery was testing bad. I took it to another shop and had it tested; they said it was fine.”

    Tech: “We’ll test it and make sure.”

    (I go to the waiting room and the tech comes out a while later.)

    Tech: “The battery is still testing bad. You’ll need to replace it.”

    Me: “Funny how I have two other reports telling me that the battery is fine. Do not tell me the battery is testing badly. The car has a hard time turning over when it gets cold but now because it’s warm, it’s fine. Don’t tell me that it’s bad again.”

    Tech: *shuts up and goes back to desk*

    (When I went back for my next oil change, surprise, surprise, the battery tested just fine. This is why I call them car-stealerships.)

    Giving Great Import To The Price

    | Minneapolis, MN, USA | Employees, Food & Drink, Liars/Scammers

    (The menu on the wall lists two prices for beer: domestic and imported. It doesn’t list the brands, but I see through the glass door of the cooler that they have Anchor Steam beer, from San Francisco, so I order that. When the clerk rings up the sale, I notice he has charged me the ‘imported’ price.)

    Me: “Hey, that’s a domestic beer!”

    Clerk: “Yeah, I know, but we call it imported because it’s expensive.”

    Music To My Fears

    | LA, USA | Coworkers, Liars/Scammers, Musical Mayhem

    (We have a little stereo in our store and are allowed to play music as long as it’s not too loud. I take my iPod and plug it to the stereo via auxiliary cable, as I prefer various genres of rock but the only radio station that comes in plays country and pop. After about a month of doing this, my manager comments on it one night.)

    Manager: *cringing* “Gosh, [My Name]! What on earth are you listening to?”

    Me: “That’s Marilyn Manson. Next song is Poison.”

    Manager: “Well, you need to turn it down and [Manager’s Boss] says that we have to keep it on a station like [Only Station that will tune in] because people might complain.”

    Me: “Oh? I haven’t had anyone complain so far and even though it’s not that loud I always turn it down when someone comes in.”

    Manager: “Yes, [Manager’s Boss] said so.”

    Me: “Right. I’ll remember that.”

    Manager: “Good.”

    (What my manager doesn’t know is that her boss had come in on my shift before and commented on how nice it was to hear a change in music and that he liked the playlist on my iPod. We also discussed music and he said he’d like to get his hands on my iTunes.)

    Your BS-Sensor Is Working Just Fine

    | England, UK | Employees, Liars/Scammers, Transportation

    (I’ve been using the same garage for a few years. I even get a discount as my company partially owns it, so they are pretty trustworthy. This time I drop my car off with a new worker. I get a phone call to tell me that my car is ready.)

    Me: “Hi, it’s [My Name]. You have my car ready for me?”

    Mechanic: “Yeah sure; one second.”

    (He disappears for ages. I can actually see my car keys through the window, so I have no idea what he is doing.)

    Mechanic: “Okay, so we had to do a bit extra work to get it sorted for you.”

    Me: “Extra work? I didn’t agree to any of that.”

    Mechanic: “Well, it is easier for us to fix it whilst we had the car in pieces then it would have been to put it all back together again and do it later.”

    Me: “Okay, so what is the damage?”

    Mechanic: “Your total is here.” *points to the figure with his pen, it is £600 more than I was told*

    Me: “Whoa, wait, wait, wait. What is all this?!”

    Mechanic: “Well, we had to replace several parts and it took us most of the day. The sensor we changed cost us 200 bucks alone.”

    Me: “Okay, first you have only had the car for half of the day, secondly I didn’t agree to any of this, and thirdly if you check your records you will see that last year you replaced that sensor and didn’t charge me anywhere near that much.”

    (The mechanic’s mouth is wide open.)

    Me: “So what is it going to be? Are you ripping me off, or is your work last year so shoddy that it fails every year?”

    Mechanic: “I just have to speak to my manager…”

    (He disappeared. Later he told me that due to my circumstances my whole bill would be free. I’ve been there since and never got served by him again.)


    Doctored Doctor Note

    | NY, USA | Coworkers, Health & Body, Liars/Scammers, Top

    (I work as a manager in a retail store. I have one employee who always calls in.)

    Employee: *on the phone* “I cannot come in today. I am sick!”

    Me: “Well, this is the seventh time this month you have been sick and the 28th time this year so far. Please provide a doctor’s note, because you have yet to bring one in.”

    Employee: “It’s illegal to not let me take off sick days!”

    Me: “I said bring a doctor’s note, not come into work. You are required to bring in a doctor’s note and you have not. The next time this happens without a note, you will be written up. This is the seventh time in three weeks you have called in.”

    Employee: “I have a weak immune system!”

    Me: “I am sure a doctor’s note will help prove that.”

    Employee: ‘This is illegal!”

    Me: “It is in no way illegal to require a doctor’s note. If you are this chronically ill, then urging you to get treatment would be the best course of action. I will see you tomorrow.” *hangs up*

    (The next day:)

    Employee: “Here, look. I said I was sick!”

    Me: *looking at obviously fake doctor’s note, made on the employee’s computer* “I… really? This says to excuse you from work for two weeks because of a ‘traumitic’ illness of the ‘lunges’. Is that supposed to be ‘lungs’? And where exactly is Dr. R. McDonald in this town? I am unfamiliar with that practice.”

    Employee: “Oh, uh, next town over.”

    Me: “Really? Which one? Also, I would love to know where the number 555-555-5555 is located or 555 Main Street. If you are going to give me a fake doctor’s note, at least use the number and address of a friend and not a whole bunch of ‘5’s.”

    Employee: “That is not fake! I demand that you give me my legally required days of! The doctor ordered it!”

    Me: “I am not playing this game. You are fired.”

    Employee: “You cannot do that! This is illegal!”

    Me: “Really? You called in without cause for seven days this month alone, caused backups and under-staffing, now you are lying about a doctor’s note. I am sending this note to corporate and you are fired for neglecting your duties repeatedly.”

    Employee: *screaming* “You cannot do this!”

    Me: “Aren’t those lungs supposed to be ‘traumitically ill’? Those sure sound healthy to me. Also, I just googled the doctor, just to humor you. Do you want to guess what I found?”

    Employee: *throws name tag at me, still yelling*

    Me: “Great, I will add assault to the list of reasons I fired you when I talk to corporate.”

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