• A Very Therapeutic Solution - 801 votes
  • November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

    Category: Liars/Scammers

    You Called The Wrong Number…

    | IL, USA | Employees, Family & Kids, Liars/Scammers

    (Despite being on the Do Not Call list, my parents have been getting a ridiculous amount of calls from telemarketers/scammers. I happen to be at home one day when another one calls…)

    Dad: “Hello?”

    (Silence. He presses a couple buttons, then puts the phone back up to his ear.)

    Dad: “Yes, you people keep calling me about lowering my interest rate on my credit card. Now, which credit card did you mean?”


    Dad: “Well, I have several. Which one?”


    Dad: “Hold on there. Before I give you my bank account information, I have a few more questions for you first. Will you send me a new credit card?”


    Dad: “Oh, you will. Will it be one of those cards where you put my picture on it?”


    Dad: “Can I have multiple people in the picture? I’ve got a pretty large family. I also have three cars, a dog, a cat, and a bunch of chickens!”

    (I snort, realizing he is messing with the scammer. My dad looks over, shushes me, and goes back to the call.)

    Dad: “Well, it’s going to be very difficult to get them all into one picture. You know how animals are. The dog will start chasing the cat, then the cat will start chasing the chickens, and then it will be a huge mess!”

    (Silence. I am trying my best not to laugh.)

    Dad: “No, no, I have more questions for you.”


    Dad: “No, I will not hang up. I still have questions for you. You’re trying to trick people to give you their bank account information so you can take their money. How do you sleep at night?”


    Dad: “There’s no need to use that kind of language.”


    Dad: “No, I will not hang up. I’m not done talking to you. You know what I think? You need to read your Bible. Obviously you need it.”


    Dad: “You know, using swear words like that is a sign of a limited vocabulary.”


    Dad: “No, I will not hang up.”

    (He turns on his radio, sets the phone next to it, walks out of his office, and shuts the door. By this time, the entire family is listening at the door.)

    Dad: “He’s still yelling. Might as well keep one of their lines tied up. Maybe it’ll prevent someone from getting scammed.”

    Me: “I think that was the best thing I’ve ever heard.”

    Dealership Slip

    | CA, USA | Employees, Liars/Scammers

    (My dad takes our small car to the dealership for some maintenance and, while there, accepts a sales associate’s offer to ride in the new version of that car, and even looks into how much the trade in would be. After a bit, the sales associate returns.)

    Sales Associate: “Well, I’ve looked it all over and I gotta tell ya, whichever dealership you bought your car from completely ripped you off!”

    Dad: “Well, that’s really interesting… seeing as I bought the car from THIS dealership.

    (Dad said he’d never seen someone go so pale. He made it a point to not go back to that dealership in the future.)

    I’ll Just Take The Other 90% Thanks

    | Springfield, MO, USA | Liars/Scammers, Money

    (My dad has answered a call informing him that he won some money through PCH. However, once the caller tells my dad that he has to put down ten percent of the total winnings, my dad is quick to hang up. This is the next day when my dad answers the phone for a second time.)

    Caller: “Sir, may I ask why you hung up on us yesterday after being informed that you are our $500,000 winner?”

    Dad: “Well, as I understood taxes are taken out of the amount at the end of the year, not when we are given the money and I just don’t believe you-”

    Caller: “Well, f*** you, jack-a**!” *click*

    The Devil’s In The Details

    | Dublin, Ireland | Liars/Scammers, Religion

    (I get a scam telephone call to my home number (which isn’t listed in the phone book), so I decide to have some fun with the scammer.)

    Scam Caller: “Madam, I am calling you today because there is a problem with the computer in your house. We are aware of this problem for some weeks, and we have been tracking it. It is a problem between your computer and the network. Are you aware of this problem, Madam?”

    Me: “Ah, yeah, but it’s totally my fault.”

    Scam Caller: “…What?”

    Me: “Yeah, I summoned the Dark Lord Lucifer through an online ouija board a few weeks ago, and he’s been screwing with my Internet ever since.”

    Scam Caller: “…Madam, we can help you fix this issue today. All you have to do is–”

    Me: “Nah, it’s cool. I’ll tell Lucifer to bugger off and it’ll be grand. Bye!”

    Killed It At The Interview

    | Humberside, England, UK | Job Seekers, Liars/Scammers

    (I am currently unemployed. I see a job advertised for a trainee fitness instructor and, being interested, I apply. A few days later I get a telephone call from the company asking if they can conduct a phone interview. The phone interview goes very well right up until the very end:)

    Interviewer: “Congratulations! I’m pleased to tell you that you have passed the interview!”

    Me: “Wow! Thanks!”

    Interviewer: “Now, just so you know; there will be a training fee of £2,536 pounds.”

    (At this point my heart sinks as I realize it’s a scam.)

    Me: “That’s a lot of money…”

    Interviewer: “You can get a loan from our finance department for only £90 per month!”

    Me: “I need some time to think. Can you call me back later?”

    Interviewer: “Of course! I’ll call you back this afternoon.”

    (That afternoon they call back and a friend of mine answers.)

    Friend: “Hello?”

    Interviewer: “Hi! Is [My Name] there?”

    Friend: “Is this [Company]?”

    Interviewer: “It is.”

    Friend: “I’m sorry; she’s died. Goodbye.”

    (He then puts the phone down without waiting for a response. Later that day I get an email from the company stating they called and spoke to a “gentlemen who wouldn’t put them through to me.” I reply:)



    Sorry for the late reply; the signal here isn’t great!

    Unfortunately, as the gentleman you spoke to explained, I am dead. It was a very freak and unforeseen accident and I am still trying to get over it. To be completely honest, I just did not see the bus coming… I think I was still in a daze over the £2000 and something you wanted off me for this course.

    I do not see myself being able to register for this course in the near future, due primarily to my deceased state. Should I rise as a member of the undead, I will let you know. Also, if they reincarnate me I will be in touch; however, they have told me I might end up as a pot plant next time…

    Best wishes,

    The Late [My Name].”

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