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  • Swearing You Into A Job
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  • Category: Liars/Scammers

    A Vicious Circle

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive, Liars/Scammers

    (From looking at the call display, I’ve noticed that we’ve had a lot of calls from the same 800 number, but no messages left. This is usually a dead give away as a telemarketer. When I see that number calling one evening, I decide to pick up instead of my usual practice of ignoring it.)

    Me: “Hello?”

    Caller: “Yes, is [Wife] home?”"

    Me: “No, I’m afraid she isn’t. Can I take a message?”

    Caller: “I’m calling from [Bank]. Is there a good time to try calling again?”

    Me: “No, not really. We’re in and out at various times. Is there a message I can give her?”

    Caller: “No. I’m calling from [Bank] and it’s an important, private matter that I can’t discuss with anyone but [Wife].”

    Me: “Well, if it’s important, surely you’d want her to call back about it. So, can I have your name and number, so she can return the call?”

    Caller: “I’m afraid I can’t do that. It’s an important, private matter that I can only discuss with [Wife].”

    Me: “I understand that, but if you’re not willing to leave any type of message, now or any other time you’ve called, I have to assume this is just a marketing call to offer her a credit card or to change her services, in which case, you can stop calling.”

    Caller: “No. I need to speak to [Wife]. Is there a good time to get ahold of her?”

    Me: “No, but I can take a message and she can return the call.”

    Caller: “I can’t do that. It’s a private matter.”

    Me: “If you won’t give me any information, then I can’t help you.”

    Caller: “We’re just going in circles!”

    Me: “I know! Annoying having your time wasted like that, isn’t it? Have a good evening.” *click*

    Working Antisocial Hours

    | Berlin, Germany | Bad Behavior, Bosses & Owners, Liars/Scammers

    (I’ve recently started to work at a different store of the same company. These company’s stores always open at 10 am, and I’m used to checking in at 9:30. The first day at work, my new boss calls me over.)

    Boss: “[My Name], your behavior is unacceptable. I’ll let it slide since it’s your first day here, but don’t let it happen again.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, what?”

    Boss: “You were way too late. I and [Two Other Colleagues] always arrive at 8 AM to do our make-up and eat breakfast.”

    Me: “I usually do all of this at home.”

    Boss: “No. You have to do everything I say. You have to arrive at 8 AM and eat here and talk to everyone. Socializing is very important in this company.”

    (The next day, I arrive at am and eat my breakfast in the store.)

    Boss: “No, no, no, [My Name]. Don’t just sit there! You have to clock in first. I don’t care that you’re not actually working, just do it. You’ll get paid for nothing! We’ve been doing this for years. Great, huh?”

    (I politely refuse since I think it’s some sort of test. The boss is furious and calls our upper management.)

    Boss: “[My Name], pack your things and go, NOW. We won’t tolerate this sort of antisocial behavior in this store. You’re making me and the others feel bad!”

    Me: “Wait, you are firing me because I’m clocking my hours correctly and I am NOT lying and wasting company time and money?”

    Boss: “Yes. We all do it! Stop being antisocial!”

    (I left and found a much nicer job. The last time I heard of this company, there were closing many stores due to financial issues, and the one in this story was the very first one to go.)

    How To Win The War Against Telemarketers, Part 5

    | Madison, WI, USA | Coworkers, Employees, Liars/Scammers, New Hires

    (I’m the general manager at a gas station. We’ve always had problems with scammers trying to activate gift cards over the phone, but lately they’ve gotten a lot more annoying. I’m working with a new hire when I answer the phone. We’re both fluent in sign language.)

    Me: “Hello, this is [Store]. How can I help you today?”

    Caller: “Hi, I’m from [Company] customer support. We’ve received an automatic error report from your location, and I’m calling to confirm. Did you recently have trouble activating a gift card?”

    Me: *signs* “It’s a scammer.” *out loud* “No, not that I’ve been aware of.”

    Caller: “Hmm, that’s odd. Can you please ring up a gift card and check the activation code?”

    New Hire: *signs* “Can I mess with him? Pretty please?”

    Me: *signs* “Sure.” *out loud* “Here, let me get my manager.” *passes the phone*

    New Hire: “‘Dirty Dan’s House of Hookers,’ you got the dough and we got the blow! How can I help you today?

    Caller: *hangs up*

    (He’s a keeper!)

    How To Win The War Against Telemarketers, Part 4
    How To Win The War Against Telemarketers, Part 3
    How To Win The War Against Telemarketers, Part 2
    From Not Always Related:
    How To Win The War Against Telemarketers

    Steal Herself For An Arrest

    | TX, USA | Coworkers, Criminal/Illegal, Liars/Scammers

    (I’ve just been hired on at a store as seasonal worker. There have been a few random thefts that can’t be explained.)

    Coworker #1: “They just started up around the time that you and [Other Seasonal Worker] started. It’s funny.”

    Me: “The manager told me about it. She said someone had taken the money we’d collected for the breast cancer awareness and shoved the envelope behind the desk in the office. We’ve also been losing around $10 or $20 from the registers from time to time.”

    Coworker #1: “I can’t believe someone would do that. It offends me so much. God provides for us. I bet they’re using it to buy their drugs. That’s disgusting. If someone wanted to be lazy and just steal, they should let the prison take care of them.”

    Me: “That’s a little harsh, don’t you think? Besides, we don’t know who it is. What if they needed the money for food?”

    Coworker #1: “Because no one steals money for food. I wonder who it is. I know it’s not me or [Assistant Manager]. It could be you or [Other Seasonal Worker].”

    Me: *offended* “I know you don’t know me, but I’d rather have the job than just chance losing it by taking money like that.”

    Coworker #1: “Oh, I didn’t mean it like that. I’m just saying; it could be any one of us. Except for [Assistant Manager]. She works so hard all the time, trying to pay her way through school. I bet it’s [Other Seasonal Worker]. She just looks the part. Like a druggie, you know? And I heard she’s been flitting from one job to the next. I bet she just doesn’t want to get caught.”

    Me: “I’m sure [Manager] will find out who it is and the matter will be settled.”

    (Six months later, we have a robbery. I’m not in on that day, but I hear from another coworker how Coworker #1 was there and gave a lengthy description of the thief to the cops and how it happened. Two weeks after that, she’s no longer on the roster.)

    Me: “Oh, we lost [Coworker #1]?”

    Coworker #2: “You didn’t hear? She got fired for theft.”

    Me: *shocked* “What?”

    Coworker #2: “She kept urging the manager on duty to go get some food, and while he was gone, she shoved the money down her sock and made some sob story about how she dropped some dimes. While she was picking them up, she said the customer leaned over to grab the money and ran out. Except the till squeaks when you take money out and [Manager] tested that. They went over the tapes and saw her stealing it. So they gave her the option to come in and give the money back and just be fired, or they’d call the cops on her.”

    Me: “She always talks about how much money her husband makes! Why would she need to steal?”

    Coworker #2: “I don’t know, but she told the manager it’s because she’s bi-polar and was off her meds.”

    Me: “Did she steal that breast cancer money?”

    Coworker #2: “Yeah! She kept telling everyone it was that other seasonal employee, because she looked like a druggie.”

    Me: “Oh, man. You realize she gave the police a false report, right?”

    Coworker #2: *smirking* “Yeah, so she’s likely going to go to jail anyway.”

    Will Have To Tighten One’s Belt

    | NJ, USA | Bosses & Owners, Employees, Liars/Scammers, Transportation

    (My car has recently began making a slight but annoying squeaking noise somewhere in the engine. Unfortunately, my regular mechanic a block away from my house is closed for renovations. It takes longer than I’m comfortable dealing with, so I go to the garage near my work. Later that day I get a call.)

    Clerk: “Hey, this is [Name] over at [Repair Shop], calling to let you know we figured out what’s wrong. Turns out both of your engine’s belts are worn down to almost nothing, and you’ve got a leak in your oil tank so that’s not helping things either.”

    Me: *catching on instantly* “Oh, really? That sounds horrible! How much total will it be to get everything fixed?”

    Employee: “Well, looking at parts and labor, we’re looking at $1500, before tax.”

    Me: “Oh, that’s… actually pretty good, considering you’re installing an entirely new belt mechanism.”

    Employee: “Yeah, we try to— What did you say?”

    Me: “Yeah, my car has a single serpentine belt in the engine. So if you’re retrofitting the entire thing to have a two-belt system, that’s a darn good price! Not to mention the fact that I just got my serpentine belt changed about three months ago during a big tune-up.  I can’t believe it’s worn down so much.”

    Employee: “… Oh… I, um… I think I may be looking at the wrong paperwork here.”

    (He then proceeds to shuffle some papers around in an unbelievably fake-sounding manner, and then says he’ll call me back. I end up talking with someone else entirely. It turns out to be a single piece that needs lubrication, for under $100. When I go to pick up, the shop’s owner is there.)

    Owner: “I’m really sorry about what happened before, but you don’t have to worry about that happening again.”

    Me: “I’m guessing he’s very sorry, and learned his lesson?”

    Owner: “No, that’s what he was the last TWO times he got caught. He thought being my nephew meant he could just keep scamming my customers forever.”

    Me: “… So I shouldn’t say that he probably would have gotten away with it if he’d just tried to sell me a complete replacement for that one bit instead of a lube job?”

    Owner: “No, that just goes to show he’s stupid AND greedy.”

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