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    Category: Liars/Scammers

    Started Suspecting After The Ferrari FU9000

    | Brampton, ON, Canada | Employees, Liars/Scammers, Technology

    (I answer the telephone at my work and get scam calls all the time. Instead of trying to call them out on their scam I decide I would scam them back instead.)

    Scammer: “Hello. I am calling from [Well Known Photocopy Manufacturer] to confirm that we have updated information on file. Can you tell me the make and model of your photocopier?”

    Me: “Certainly I can help you with that! It’s a Bugatti FU7510.”

    Scammer: “Bu- Errrr, I’m sorry. Could you repeat that, please?”

    Me: “Bugatti FU7510.”

    Scammer: “Hmmmm, I don’t seem to have that on my list. Are you sure that’s correct?”

    Me: “Oh, yes. The machine is right in front of me and it clearly says Bugatti FU7510.”

    Scammer: “That is strange. I have never heard of a model called Bugatti before.”

    Me: “Really? Well we’ve had this machine for a few years now and it’s the best one we’ve ever had. Very, very fast and quite stylish, too!”

    Scammer: “Really? Okay, well I’ve made note of it. Thank you.”

    Me: “Oh you are MOST welcome! Have a great day!!”

    (Every time they call I come up with some name for the make and model off the top of my head but I always start the model number with ‘FU’ for obvious reasons.)

    Copier-Cat Burglar

    | Montreal, QC, Canada | Employees, Liars/Scammers, Technology

    (I work as a receptionist.)

    Me: “[Company], how may I help you?”

    Telemarketer: “Hi, I’m calling from your copier company. We want to send you a free gift card for being such good customers.”

    Me: “Oh, okay. Wait, which company did you say you’re from?”

    Telemarketer: “The company that supplies you with your copier ink! Now, I need you to look at the copier that’s closest to you and tell me the model number! Can you do that for me, please?”

    Me: “I don’t really see a number—”

    Telemarketer: *cuts me off* “I can help you with that! Look next to—”

    Me: “Why do you need this information, again?”

    Telemarketer: “My name is Craig Cutler. You’ll need to tell that to my boss when he calls you tomorrow to confirm your free gift card!”

    Me: “Hold on. I have another call.”

    Telemarketer: *yelling* “EXCUSE ME, MISS?”

    (I put him on hold to take my other call. He hangs up and calls right back.)

    Telemarketer: “Hi, we just spoke before! I need you go ahead and give me the model number of your copier.”

    Me: “I still don’t understand why you need this information.”

    Telemarketer: “Of COURSE you wouldn’t understand!”

    Me: “What do you mean, of course I wouldn’t?!”

    Telemarketer: *hangs up*

    Me: *very confused*

    (I googled the name Craig Cutler after, and a famous American photographer popped up. I’m assuming his name wasn’t really Craig.)

    Putting The Brakes On This Scam

    | Atlanta, GA, USA | Employees, Family & Kids, Liars/Scammers, Technology, Top, Transportation

    (My car is making a terrible grinding noise when I turn. I take it in to a national car repair chain to have it looked at. I am female and 19 at the time. My father is visiting from 600 miles away.)

    Me: “Hey there. My car is making this weird grinding, popping noise when I turn. I was hoping you guys could take a look at it?”

    Employee: “No problem! We’ll have it looked at shortly.”

    (Over two hours pass, the employee approaches me.)

    Employee: “We found the problem. Your brakes need to be replaced: pads, rotors, drums… We can get you in today and it will be [outrageous price].”

    Me: “Um… okay. But I’d like to hold off on that. I need to get my father’s permission before I authorize that charge. I’ll be back in tomorrow, though!”

    (The employee tries to argue how important it is to get my brakes replaced, to the point he prints out a recommended repairs list and hands it to me. Little did he know I’d had the brakes done less than four months prior at a different location. The next day, my father brings the car in to the same store. The same employee is there.)

    Father: “I need this car looked at. It’s making a terrible noise when I turn.”

    Employee: “Okay! We’ll have it looked at shortly. Have a seat while you wait.”

    (Less than an hour later:)

    Employee: “We can’t seem to pinpoint the exact cause of the noise, I am sorry to say. Everything looks good. It could just be something rolling around in the trunk.”

    Father: “Even the brakes?”

    Employee: “The brakes on the car are fine. They look like they were replaced recently.”

    Father: “Really, now?”

    Employee: “Yeah, they’re fine.”

    My Father: “Funny, because I have a work order from you, dated yesterday, that says they need to be replaced when my daughter brought the car in for this same issue.” *shows the work order*

    (The employee visibly sputters. There are at least six other customers in the store and my father spoke loud enough for them to hear.)

    Employee: “Uh— Oh! I remember her! Yeah, she just needed a new rotor on the car. I don’t know why the guy put down all that other stuff.”

    Father: “I’m sure. Now, you listen. My daughter is 19, and I live 600 miles away. I told her to come here because I have [Company credit card] and can pay for the repairs while she’s in school. She is going to call me every time there is an issue, and if it feels like you are trying to rip her off again, I will drive the 600 miles it takes to come down here and deal with the problem myself. Do we have an understanding?”

    (I didn’t have a problem at the location after that. The employee in question recognized me whenever I brought the car back in, and made sure to call my father to approve any repairs that were needed. Now that I’m out of college I occasionally go back for minor maintenance. He still recognizes me.)

    No Springtime For This Scammer

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Bizarre/Silly, Employees, Liars/Scammers, Technology

    (I’m studying music theatre at university and therefore am a huge theatre geek. ‘The Producers’ is one of my favourites. One day, I’m at home alone when the phone rings.)

    Me: “Hello?”

    Scammer: “Hello, miss. I’m calling about your Microsoft computer.”

    (I have a Macbook Air. My mother uses a Dell PC. Clearly this is a scammer.)

    Me: *innocently* “Our computer? What’s wrong with it?”

    Scammer: “Oh, your computer is badly infected, ma’am. You need to—”

    Me: “Infected? Listen, you broken down old queen. He was drunk. He was hot. You got lucky. DON’T EVER CALL HERE AGAIN! ” *hangs up*

    Acting Like A Complete Jerky

    | England, UK | Bad Behavior, Coworkers, Food & Drink, Liars/Scammers

    (I work with a rather attractive 20-something woman. She is okay, but gets away with murder and often gets tea or coffee brought for her as she is the only attractive woman in the office.)

    Coworker: *to me* “Wow! What’s that?”

    Me: “Oh this? It’s jerky. Really good stuff.”

    (The attractive coworker’s head pops up.)

    Coworker: “Let’s see.”

    (I throw the closed packet over.)

    Coworker: *as he throws it back* “Hmm, looks really good.”

    (The attractive coworker hasn’t stopped listening.)

    Me: “Yeah, bit pricy but tastes great. Texture is soft really good.”

    Attractive Coworker: “Are you going to share it out, then?”

    Me: *a bit put back* “Well, I wasn’t opening it yet. Maybe …later?”

    (I forget about it for a few days. The next week I open it up and leave it out of sight on my desk. I leave the office and come back to see the attractive coworker quickly walking back to her desk.)

    Me: “Hey, [Coworker], I’ve opened up the jerky. Want a piece?”

    (I can just see out of the corner of my eye the attractive coworker, stuffing something in her mouth.)

    Me: “It’s bit spicy, though.”

    (I hold the bag out to the attractive coworker, who waves me away as she is struggling to chew ‘something’.)

    Me: “…and it only gets hotter as you chew.”

    (At this point the attractive coworker’s eyes are watering at she almost dives for the bin, spitting out the jerky she stole before running out the door.)

    Coworker: “Serves her right, silly cow. She is always trying to get something for free even if she doesn’t like it.”

    (Now, every time I bring something in, I’m always quick to mention that it is a bit spicy. I haven’t caught her taking anything since.)

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