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    Category: Liars/Scammers

    It’s Sickening The Lengths Some Will Go To

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Liars/Scammers

    (My coworker and I are on a break.)

    Me: “I am missing my cousin’s engagement party tonight.”

    Coworker: “Why didn’t you put in for the night off?”

    Me: “Mum forgot to give me the invite until it was too late.”

    Coworker:  ”You should have just called in sick. I do it all the time when I have a party to go to.”

    (Two days later, I am working with a different coworker.)

    Me:  ”I thought I was working with [Coworker] tonight?”

    Coworker #2: “Didn’t you hear?”

    Me:  ”About what?”

    Coworker #2: “She called in sick last night so she could go to [Boyfriend]’s work party.”

    Me: “Um, doesn’t [Boyfriend] work for our security department?”

    Coworker #2: “Yes, the party was here as well and with all the bosses in attendance, the idiot was fired on the spot and escorted off the premises.”

    A Tidal Wave Of Bad Excuses

    | UK | Employees, Lazy/Unhelpful, Liars/Scammers, Technology

    (We’ve had bad service with our Internet company for a while. Every time we call, they give us a different excuse. Normally it is just usual stuff about technical problems.)

    ISP: “Hi there. This is [Name] from [ISP]. How can I help you?”

    Me: “Hi, I’m calling because our Internet keeps cutting out. It’s been doing this for a while and every time we’re reassured it will be sorted out soon.”

    ISP: “Ah. I apologise, ma’am. That’s because of the tsunami in Japan.”

    Me: “… What?”

    ISP: “That’s why the service is a little unstable, but it’ll be back to normal in no time!”

    Me: “This company is based in the UK, right?”

    ISP: “That’s correct.”

    Me: “Then how is the tsunami in Japan related?”

    ISP: “THERE WAS A TSUNAMI IN JAPAN! OKAY?!”

    A Vicious Circle

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive, Liars/Scammers

    (From looking at the call display, I’ve noticed that we’ve had a lot of calls from the same 800 number, but no messages left. This is usually a dead give away as a telemarketer. When I see that number calling one evening, I decide to pick up instead of my usual practice of ignoring it.)

    Me: “Hello?”

    Caller: “Yes, is [Wife] home?”"

    Me: “No, I’m afraid she isn’t. Can I take a message?”

    Caller: “I’m calling from [Bank]. Is there a good time to try calling again?”

    Me: “No, not really. We’re in and out at various times. Is there a message I can give her?”

    Caller: “No. I’m calling from [Bank] and it’s an important, private matter that I can’t discuss with anyone but [Wife].”

    Me: “Well, if it’s important, surely you’d want her to call back about it. So, can I have your name and number, so she can return the call?”

    Caller: “I’m afraid I can’t do that. It’s an important, private matter that I can only discuss with [Wife].”

    Me: “I understand that, but if you’re not willing to leave any type of message, now or any other time you’ve called, I have to assume this is just a marketing call to offer her a credit card or to change her services, in which case, you can stop calling.”

    Caller: “No. I need to speak to [Wife]. Is there a good time to get ahold of her?”

    Me: “No, but I can take a message and she can return the call.”

    Caller: “I can’t do that. It’s a private matter.”

    Me: “If you won’t give me any information, then I can’t help you.”

    Caller: “We’re just going in circles!”

    Me: “I know! Annoying having your time wasted like that, isn’t it? Have a good evening.” *click*

    Working Antisocial Hours

    | Berlin, Germany | Bad Behavior, Bosses & Owners, Liars/Scammers

    (I’ve recently started to work at a different store of the same company. These company’s stores always open at 10 am, and I’m used to checking in at 9:30. The first day at work, my new boss calls me over.)

    Boss: “[My Name], your behavior is unacceptable. I’ll let it slide since it’s your first day here, but don’t let it happen again.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, what?”

    Boss: “You were way too late. I and [Two Other Colleagues] always arrive at 8 AM to do our make-up and eat breakfast.”

    Me: “I usually do all of this at home.”

    Boss: “No. You have to do everything I say. You have to arrive at 8 AM and eat here and talk to everyone. Socializing is very important in this company.”

    (The next day, I arrive at am and eat my breakfast in the store.)

    Boss: “No, no, no, [My Name]. Don’t just sit there! You have to clock in first. I don’t care that you’re not actually working, just do it. You’ll get paid for nothing! We’ve been doing this for years. Great, huh?”

    (I politely refuse since I think it’s some sort of test. The boss is furious and calls our upper management.)

    Boss: “[My Name], pack your things and go, NOW. We won’t tolerate this sort of antisocial behavior in this store. You’re making me and the others feel bad!”

    Me: “Wait, you are firing me because I’m clocking my hours correctly and I am NOT lying and wasting company time and money?”

    Boss: “Yes. We all do it! Stop being antisocial!”

    (I left and found a much nicer job. The last time I heard of this company, there were closing many stores due to financial issues, and the one in this story was the very first one to go.)

    How To Win The War Against Telemarketers, Part 5

    | Madison, WI, USA | Coworkers, Employees, Liars/Scammers, New Hires

    (I’m the general manager at a gas station. We’ve always had problems with scammers trying to activate gift cards over the phone, but lately they’ve gotten a lot more annoying. I’m working with a new hire when I answer the phone. We’re both fluent in sign language.)

    Me: “Hello, this is [Store]. How can I help you today?”

    Caller: “Hi, I’m from [Company] customer support. We’ve received an automatic error report from your location, and I’m calling to confirm. Did you recently have trouble activating a gift card?”

    Me: *signs* “It’s a scammer.” *out loud* “No, not that I’ve been aware of.”

    Caller: “Hmm, that’s odd. Can you please ring up a gift card and check the activation code?”

    New Hire: *signs* “Can I mess with him? Pretty please?”

    Me: *signs* “Sure.” *out loud* “Here, let me get my manager.” *passes the phone*

    New Hire: “‘Dirty Dan’s House of Hookers,’ you got the dough and we got the blow! How can I help you today?

    Caller: *hangs up*

    (He’s a keeper!)

    Related:
    How To Win The War Against Telemarketers, Part 4
    How To Win The War Against Telemarketers, Part 3
    How To Win The War Against Telemarketers, Part 2
    From Not Always Related:
    How To Win The War Against Telemarketers


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