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    Category: Math & Science

    I Am My Own Person

    | OK, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Math & Science

    (I eat breakfast by myself at a local chain restaurant, and I have a coupon good for either $5 off two entrees and two beverages, or $2.50 off one entree and one beverage. I hand the cashier my check and the coupon. She scans the bar codes on each but looks puzzled after scanning the coupon. She scans it again and still looks puzzled.)

    Me: “Having problems?”

    Cashier: “Well, it keeps scanning for $2.50.”

    Me: “That’s fine. I’m just one person.”

    Cashier: *looking sheepish* “Oh. I knew that.”

    Kill Till Bill

    | TX, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Lazy/Unhelpful, Math & Science, Money

    (I work at a small bookstore. Our manager rewards us for every week the till is perfect. We’d been having issues with the till at the end of the day: we’d be short anywhere from .50-10.00 USD. The manager tells me to keep an eye on the other girls.)

    Coworker: “Ma’am, your total is $5.35.”

    (The customer gives Coworker $6.00.)

    Coworker: “Your change.”

    (She hands the customer a dollar bill. The customer looks confused and leaves.)

    Me: “The correct change was $0.65.”

    Coworker: “Yeah, but the change is so heavy and I don’t want to make the customers carry it around. Plus, I don’t like to count the change.”

    Me: “Wait… What?”

    Coworker: “It makes customers happy to have bills, not coins. And it’s a lot of work to count change.”

    Me: “…”

    (Needless to say, she got a lecture and didn’t work the till for the rest of her tenure there.)

    Metric Can Be A Tall Order And Weighty Issue

    | Gainesville, VA, USA | Employees, Health & Body, Ignoring/Inattentive, Math & Science

    (My wife is applying to a graduate school overseas. She has to have a medical form done over the spring. It asks for weight and height in kilograms and meters, but the doctor missed that and filled the form in for pounds and feet. She returns to the doctor’s office to get this and some other details corrected or explained by someone at the reception desk, but is intercepted by someone else at the doctor’s office, probably a supervisor.)

    Supervisor: *condescendingly* “Can I help you, Mrs. [Wife]?”

    Wife: “Yes, I was taking a look at this form, and it looks like the doctor made a mistake.”

    Supervisor: *takes the sheet* “How so?”

    Wife: “Well, she’s listed my weight as 145 kilograms, which I’m clearly not. I’m probably 145 pounds, not kilograms.”

    Supervisor: “Listen, dear. I don’t know what to tell you. The scale doesn’t lie: That’s your weight.”

    (For those not exactly privy to Imperial/Metric conversion, 145 kilograms is about 320 pounds.)

    Wife: “Excuse me?”

    Supervisor: “The doctor put 145 there. I’m sure she knows what she’s doing.”

    Wife: “And I’m sure it’s a mistake. Can I talk to the doctor?”

    Supervisor: “She’s not available at this time.”

    Wife: “And what about my height?”

    Supervisor: “What about it?”

    Wife: “I’m five-and-three-quarters meters tall?”

    (Again, my non-metric friends, that’s nearly nineteen feet tall.)

    Supervisor: “I have no idea.”

    Wife: “So, will you have someone fix it?”

    Supervisor: “That’s what the doctor put down!”

    Wife: “And the doctor’s not available?”

    Supervisor: “Correct. Goodbye, Mrs. [Wife]!”

    Wife: “Wait, but… err, nevermind.”

    (Eventually, my wife decided to mail in the form with ‘kg’ and ‘m’ crossed out, replaced by ‘lbs’ and ‘ft,’ respectively. Our fingers are still crossed that the school understands that some people don’t understand metric.)

    Cheaper Than The Sum Of The Sum

    | KS, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Math & Science

    (The local pizza chain in a small college town has a 10% discount for college students and employees. It was one of the places we’d often go to for lunch. Normally we’d each pay for our own meal, but on this day my coworker asks if I could cover for him since he forgot his wallet.)

    Me: “I had the pizza buffet and a drink, and I’m also paying for [Coworker]‘s buffet and drink. We work at the college and should get the 10% discount.”

    Cashier: “Okay, so the it’s two buffets and two drinks, and each of you gets a 10% discount, so that’s 20% total discount. Your total is [amount].”

    Coworker: “Um…”

    Me: “Wait, that’s not how it works. The discount is only 10%.”

    Cashier: “Yes. You each get 10% off, so that’s 20% total. You owe [amount].”

    (Not knowing how to argue with that logic, I paid, and on the way out the door joked with my coworker.)

    Me: “We need to bring the entire department out and maybe some others. If we got 10 people, everyone’s meal would be free! Would they even pay us if we brought 11 or more?”

    Half Of A Useless Answer

    | ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Math & Science

    (I’m working at the cash register and an item doesn’t scan. I call for grocery to do a price check.)

    Me: “This item doesn’t scan. Can you tell me the price?”

    Coworker: “It’s 50% off.”

    Me: “That doesn’t tell me what I want to know…”

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