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    Category: Math & Science

    A Sandwich Infraction

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Math & Science

    Me: “Oh, instead of halves, could you cut that sandwich into quarters, please?”

    Cashier: “Sure. Did you want three quarters, or four quarters?”

    Me: “…”

    Before They Can Smell A Rat

    | USA | Math & Science, Pets & Animals

    (This happened back in the 60s when my mother was a secretary.)

    Mother: “Maintenance, our air conditioner isn’t working.”

    Maintenance: “We’ll get around to it in a day or so.”

    Mother: “…We have lab rats here.”

    Maintenance: “We’ll be right up!”

    (Humans being uncomfortable was never as important as environmental controls on experiments. If a rat got too hot there’d be Hell to pay!)

    Needs To Think Outside The Boxes

    | London, England, UK | At The Checkout, Employees, Extra Stupid, Math & Science

    (I happen to overhear this exchange between the cashier and the lady in front of me in the queue:)

    Customer: “Can I have 40 [Brand] cigarettes, please?”

    Cashier: “Sorry, we only have those in boxes of 20.”

    A Sale Is Half-Empty Kind Of Person

    | Wilmington, DE, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Employees, Math & Science

    (My mom likes to joke a lot.)

    Saleswoman: “And right now, all of our sweaters are 50% off.”

    Mom: *joking* “So if I buy one, the bottom half will just unravel?”

    Saleswoman: *completely serious* “No, actually, it means we take 50% off the price.”

    (I don’t know whether she had failed to understand my mom’s joke, or if she’d just dealt with too many customers who would have legitimately misunderstood “50% off.”)

    Stressing His Point

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers, Math & Science, Theme Of The Month

    (I sit next to a coworker who is known for doing unusual and borderline stupid things – but I find him very entertaining and he’s always good for a laugh. The coworker has found a stress ball, and has started ripping it apart.)

    Coworker: “Hmm. I wonder what’s inside this.”

    (He opens it, to find what appears to be a ball of corn starch.)

    Coworker: “Hey, corn starch is non-Newtonian, right? Let’s find out!”

    (He grabs a sledgehammer that happens to be lying around, places the stress ball on the ground, and starts whaling on it. I just look at him with astonishment. After about twenty good whacks a cleaning person walks by about five feet from our cubes.)

    Cleaning Person’s Radio: “Yeah, we’re getting reports from the second floor of some work being done on the third floor, it sounds like someone’s banging on the floor. Can you take a look?”

    (Coworker’s eyes got real big, the hammer dropped to his side and hit the floor, and he started running. I laughed hysterically. When I left, there was still a mark on the carpeting where the ball was pounded into it.)

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