• Checked Out At The Checkout
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  • August's Theme Of The Month: Best. Boss. Ever!

    Category: Math & Science

    Before They Can Smell A Rat

    | USA | Math & Science, Pets & Animals

    (This happened back in the 60s when my mother was a secretary.)

    Mother: “Maintenance, our air conditioner isn’t working.”

    Maintenance: “We’ll get around to it in a day or so.”

    Mother: “…We have lab rats here.”

    Maintenance: “We’ll be right up!”

    (Humans being uncomfortable was never as important as environmental controls on experiments. If a rat got too hot there’d be Hell to pay!)

    Needs To Think Outside The Boxes

    | London, England, UK | At The Checkout, Employees, Extra Stupid, Math & Science

    (I happen to overhear this exchange between the cashier and the lady in front of me in the queue:)

    Customer: “Can I have 40 [Brand] cigarettes, please?”

    Cashier: “Sorry, we only have those in boxes of 20.”

    A Sale Is Half-Empty Kind Of Person

    | Wilmington, DE, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Employees, Math & Science

    (My mom likes to joke a lot.)

    Saleswoman: “And right now, all of our sweaters are 50% off.”

    Mom: *joking* “So if I buy one, the bottom half will just unravel?”

    Saleswoman: *completely serious* “No, actually, it means we take 50% off the price.”

    (I don’t know whether she had failed to understand my mom’s joke, or if she’d just dealt with too many customers who would have legitimately misunderstood “50% off.”)

    Stressing His Point

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers, Math & Science, Theme Of The Month

    (I sit next to a coworker who is known for doing unusual and borderline stupid things – but I find him very entertaining and he’s always good for a laugh. The coworker has found a stress ball, and has started ripping it apart.)

    Coworker: “Hmm. I wonder what’s inside this.”

    (He opens it, to find what appears to be a ball of corn starch.)

    Coworker: “Hey, corn starch is non-Newtonian, right? Let’s find out!”

    (He grabs a sledgehammer that happens to be lying around, places the stress ball on the ground, and starts whaling on it. I just look at him with astonishment. After about twenty good whacks a cleaning person walks by about five feet from our cubes.)

    Cleaning Person’s Radio: “Yeah, we’re getting reports from the second floor of some work being done on the third floor, it sounds like someone’s banging on the floor. Can you take a look?”

    (Coworker’s eyes got real big, the hammer dropped to his side and hit the floor, and he started running. I laughed hysterically. When I left, there was still a mark on the carpeting where the ball was pounded into it.)

    The Sum Of What’s Wrong With Humanity

    | Brighton, England, UK | At The Checkout, Employees, Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Money

    Me: “How much are these CD cases, please?”

    Shop Assistant: “40 pence each.”

    Me: “I’ll take ten, please.”

    (The shop assistant pulls out calculator. I stand there in disbelief with £4 ready in my hand.)

    Shop Assistant: “That will be £4, please.”

    (I hand over £4, thank him, and turn to go.)

    Shop Assistant: “Hang on, I may have got that wrong…”

    (I turn around in utter disbelief, shake my head once, and leave. My friend is waiting outside.)

    Friend: “What happened? You look weird.”

    (I explain.)

    Friend: “We need a coffee to restore our faith in humanity.”

    Me: “Should we order separately… just in case they need a calculator for two coffees?”

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