Featured Story:
  • Engineering A Problem
    (1,180 thumbs up)
  • December's Theme Of The Month: The Holidays & The New Year!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Math & Science

    Engineering A Problem

    | CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Bosses & Owners, Extra Stupid, Math & Science

    (I’m part of an engineering team for a small aerospace firm that is currently tasked with fixing airfoil defects in wing design. A company wide ‘reshuffling’ has seen us get a new supervisor from corporate, whose first order of business is one-on-one interviews to determine who is ‘expendable.’ This happens during a team meeting held a week later with him, me, and three other coworkers. We immediately notice our only female coworker, a thin Asian woman in her mid-twenties, is not present.)

    Supervisor: “All right, everyone, if you can just sit down we’ll get this meeting done with.”

    Coworker #1: “Wait, we’re missing someone. Where’s [Coworker #4]?”

    Supervisor: *waving his hand dismissively* “Oh, that, it was decided that with the new cost-cutting measures it wasn’t worth the cost to keep a secretary on hand for you guys, especially such an overpaid one.”

    Me: “Wait, what are you talking about?”

    Supervisor: “Oh, don’t try and fool me. I noticed that little b**** didn’t even have an engineering degree, and she made up all sorts of excuses about not needing one when I confronted her on it. I don’t care how good she was at getting coffee or whatever her ‘other services’ were. After reviewing her file I saw she barely does any work in the department and I won’t have my department filled with useless employees. There’s no point protecting a deadweight liar just because she’s a pretty face.”

    (He finishes this speech with his arms crossed, looking very smugly at us, as if he’s just uncovered some grand secret. Eventually Coworker #2 finally breaks the silence.)

    Coworker #2: “You f****** moron.”

    Supervisor: *stunned* “What did you say to me?! I will have you reported for this kind of language.”

    Coworker #3: “Go right ahead, and while you’re at it explain how you just crippled our department for the next couple of months.”

    Supervisor: *frustrated* “Oh, don’t be so overly dramatic. Just because you won’t have a pretty girl to ogle…”

    Coworker #2: “That ‘pretty girl’ you fired had a PhD in applied mathematics. She was the only person in our department who could actually figure out the Joukowsky transform on the new designs we’re working on. She clocks so few hours with us because she’s asked to help out the other departments practically every other day.”

    Supervisor: *unimpressed* “Well, finnneeeee, if it’s so important we’ll just get another one of these ‘applied’ math people. It shouldn’t take long. H***, with all these new college graduates we can probably just use two unpaid interns and get twice the work for less than half the pay!”

    (He once again looked around like he just solved the greatest puzzle in the world. Ignoring our protests he attempted to go ahead with his plans, even creating an ad listing for an UNPAID internship for someone with at least a master’s degree in applied mathematics. Unsurprisingly it turned out to be incredibly difficult to find another PhD in applied mathematics with a specialty in airfoil design, especially one willing to work for free. Our former coworker is now at a much higher paid job at a larger company, and four months later we still haven’t found a replacement. After months of stalled projects, it was very satisfying watching the CEO of the company tear into my now ex-supervisor for his stupidity.)

    The Mis-appliance Of Science

    | AR, USA | Bosses & Owners, Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Math & Science

    (A coworker has set a piece of milled rail down so that it might have been resting against another piece of metal. My boss, not wanting the rail damaged, told my coworker to move it).

    Coworker: “It ain’t even touching!”

    Boss: “Yes, it is. Look.” *points to the rail* “It’s chemistry. If that rail’s going that way, and this is that way, they’re touching right there.”

    Coworker: “No, that would be physics.”

    Boss: *looking confused* “The h***’s physics got to do with this? That’s like out there with Pluto.”

    Me: “No, that would be astronomy.”

    Boss: “The other Pluto.”

    Me: *realizing he meant Plato* “That’s philosophy.”

    The (Square) Root Of The Problem

    | KY, USA | Coworkers, Lazy/Unhelpful, Math & Science

    (I’ve been looking in a stack for a recipe that I’ve printed off multiple times in the past month, but keeps getting lost.)

    Me: “Ugh, how do we lose so many of these recipes?”

    Coworker: “I don’t know.”

    Me: “Well, why not? You’re supposed to know. Why else would we keep you?”

    Coworker: “Well then, the answer is the square root of laziness times the cosine of disorganization.”

    (It was the nerdiest way to say our coworkers were lazy slobs, but it made my day!)

    Wasn’t In The Top Percentile Of His Class

    | CA, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Extra Stupid, Math & Science

    (I work in a large import store that sold things like furniture and dishes. Most of these things are handmade, and so each is a little different. A customer has been in the store for a while, buying a variety of things but demanding discounts on everything for every ‘flaw.’ He is finally done, has paid and is leaving but spotted one last thing, a $90 wicker chair. I have to go ask my manager, yet again, if I can give him a discount.)

    Me: *to my manager* “He doesn’t like the weave and wants a discount.”

    Manager: “Fine! If it will get him out of here, you can give him ten bucks off.”

    (I return and tell him I can give him ten dollars off the price.)

    Customer: “Ten dollars? NO, I want ten PERCENT!”

    Me: “Okay, sir, whatever you say.”

    (I ring up the $90 chair, with his 10% discount, nine dollars off. He left happy, smug in his victory.)

    Related:
    Wasn’t In The Top Percentile Of Her Class

    Coworker Not Coworking

    | NJ, USA | Coworkers, Math & Science

    (I am waiting to punch in for the day. As I am, one of my coworkers is having a issues with an item. Another coworker is helping her out.)

    Coworker #1: “So, do you know how to do this?”

    Coworker #2: “I have not done this type of math since like the 5th grade! No. Hey, [Coworker #3] get over here!”

    (Coworker #3 goes over, and he is having issues. I walk over, still not punched in.)

    Coworker #1: “Oh, [My Name] is here! She is good at this stuff!”

    Me: “What is the issue?”

    Coworker #1: “So, the customer bought three things of meat. It is on sale saying that if you buy them, one will be $1.99 per pound, and the rest $2.99. It took off for the $1.99 but not the $2.99.”

    (I grab a calculator and walk over to the customer’s cart. I look at the meat to see how much per pound it is so I can do math. It is already $2.99 per pound.)

    Me: “Hey, [Coworker #1], get over here!”

    (She comes and I point it out to her.)

    Coworker #1: “Haha, oops. This is why you are here!”

    Me: “Really, like what do you guys do when I am NOT here?”

    Coworker #3: “Pray and hope for the best.”


    Page 1/1612345...Last
    Next Page »