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    Category: Movies & TV

    Labelled As A Genius

    | Minneapolis, MN, USA | Coworkers, Movies & TV, New Hires

    (I’m in high school and working as a production assistant for an independent film. It’s my first movie, but most of the cast and crew, who are late 20s and older, have done others. We’re on set at a hospital classroom; it looks like a hospital but isn’t filled with any medicine and they don’t treat patients here.)

    Director: “All right, everyone! We need to pull the labels off the drawers and cupboards. No real hospital would have everything labeled like that!”

    Asst. Director: “Wait! How will we know where they go again?”

    Director: “We’ll just take pictures of them! Who’s got a camera?”

    (Everyone starts scrambling around trying to find a camera to take pictures of the 50-plus cupboards and drawers that are going to be in the shot.)

    Me: “Um… couldn’t we just put the labels inside their corresponding drawers and doors?”

    (Everyone pauses and looks at me.)

    Director: “…You’re really good at this job.”

    (Filming went smoothly. Not a label was seen!)

    Great Scott, Chewie!

    | Folkestone, Kent, UK | Employees, Geeks Rule, Movies & TV

    (I’m getting my haircut by Barber #1. Barber #2 is nearby drinking tea as there are no other customers in the shop. Barber #1 and I are talking about the ‘Back to the Future’ trilogy, especially as it is now 2015, the year that Marty and Doc visit in ‘Back to the Future Part II.’)

    Me: “Shame, we won’t have our hoverboards this year.”

    Barber #1: “I know! But…”

    Barber #2: “Is that really hairy guy still in it?”

    (Blank looks.)

    Barber #2: “You know; the one with hair everywhere?”

    Me: “Do you mean Doc? Yeah, he’s been in all of them.”

    Barber #2: “No, the really hairy one. You know…” *makes Wookie noise*

    Me: “Um, Chewbacca? I think he’s going to be in the new Star Wars film this year.”

    Barber #1: “But we weren’t talking about them. We were talking about Back to the Future.”

    Barber #2: “Were you? Oh, okay.”

    Me: *to Barber #1* “I know Doc Brown’s hair is wild, but to confuse him with Chewbacca…”

    A Colorless Apocalypse

    | USA | April Fool's Day, Movies & TV, Zombies

    (The zombie apocalypse has started and my office building has been over-run. A coworker and I are in the stairwell near the emergency exit. We want to make a break for it but are deliberating who gets to open the door and check if it’s clear of zombies. I am black, and my coworker is white.)

    Me: “Okay, check if it’s clear.”

    Coworker: “No way! You check!”

    Me: “I can’t check. I have to be extra careful now.”

    Coworker: “What do you mean?!”

    Me: “Seriously? You don’t know that the black guy always dies first?”

    Coworker: “That’s just some stupid cliche!”

    Me: “Do you even watch The Walking Dead?”

    Coworker: “Of course.”

    Me: “We had T-Dog, who surprisingly survived until season three, before he’s killed saving Carol. No worries, as then we’re introduced to Oscar in the prison, but he’s quickly dispatched in the battle with Woodbury. But again, we’re introduced to Tyreese, who I admit is still alive, but mainly because another black man, Bob Stookey, turned up and got himself killed in the meantime, but I think it’s just a matter of time for poor ol’ Tyreese.”

    Coworker: “That doesn’t mean that–”

    Me: Z-Nation. The lead black guy is killed in the first episode.”

    Coworker: “Yeah, but–”

    Me:Land Of The Dead. The lead villain zombie is a black guy.”

    Coworker: “Fine, but–”

    Me: Night Of The Living Dead. Black guy dies.”

    Coworker: “Ah hah! Got you there! In Night Of The Living Dead, the black guy isn’t killed by the zombies.”

    Me: “Hmm, you’re right.” *eyes narrow* “He’s shot by the white guy…”

    (There is an awkward silence.)

    Coworker: “I’ll just check this door then, shall I?”

    Serving A Fair Lady

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Awesome Customers, Movies & TV

    (I am a hostess at a fairly high-end restaurant. On a quiet night, I am scanning through the reservations and organize the parties in different sections. I noticed one reservation under the name of “A. Hepburn.” I am a big Audrey Hepburn fan. At the time of their reservation, I greet an older couple at the door.)

    Me: “Welcome! Do you have a reservation this evening?”

    Customer: “Yes, thank you. The name is A. Hepburn.”

    Me: “Very good. Let me show you to your table, Ms. Hepburn…”

    (A moment later, I turn to one of my coworkers.)

    Me: “I’ve been waiting to say that all night.”

    Going To Spill Your Gummi Berry Juice

    | Lafayette, LA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers, Movies & TV

    (I’m using a pair of scissors to curl some ribbons for a project, and humming to myself as I do so.)

    Coworker: “I was watching Dexter last night, and you humming with those scissors made me think of that…”

    Me: “Oh! Well… if it makes you feel any better? I was humming the Gummi Bears theme.”


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