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  • Not So Closely Guarded
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  • Category: Movies & TV

    USS Reliant On People Getting It

    | Bristol, England, UK | At The Checkout, Employees, Geeks Rule, Movies & TV

    (I go to a pizza place near my house to order dinner. I’m wearing a shirt that has a Starfleet logo and the words ‘Keep Khan And Kling On,’ while I’m waiting for my pizza, the cashier looks at my shirt.)

    Cashier: *foreign accent, reading slowly* “Keep… Khan… and… Kling… On?”

    Me: *confused* “Um, yeah, it’s a parody of that ‘Keep Calm And Carry On’ thing…”

    Cashier: “Who is Khan?”

    Me: “What?”

    Cashier: “Who is Khan?”

    Me: “He’s the villain of Star Trek II.”

    Cashier: *blank stare*

    Me: “I’m sorry; have you never heard of Star Trek?”

    Cashier: “I don’t watch Hollywood.”

    Will Have To Twi-Hard To Like You

    | Dallas, TX, USA | Coworkers, Geeks Rule, Movies & TV

    (Several new trainees have come onto the floor after classroom training for our communications department. I’m getting to know one.)

    Coworker: “I don’t like Harry Potter.”

    Me: *jokingly* “Oh, we can’t be friends, then.”

    Coworker: “But I love Twilight.”

    Me: “We really can’t be friends, then!”

    Available To No Avail

    | IN, USA | Bad Behavior, Bosses & Owners, Ignoring/Inattentive, Movies & TV

    (My family and I will be moving very soon and so because of that, I’m trying to deep clean my room during my two days off on Spring Break. Sometime around two pm, I get a call from work but miss it due to cleaning. At around five, I call back to see what is up. Note that my friend and I were planning on seeing a movie at eight that night.)

    General Manager: “Hello, thank you for calling [Theater]. This is [General Manager] speaking. How may I help you?

    Me: “Hey, [General Manager], it’s [My Name]. I was just calling to see what ya’ll needed to call me for.”

    General Manager: “Oh, we needed people for the afternoon rush but it’s over now. You shouldn’t miss calls from us.”

    Me: “Yeah, sorry about that. I was cleaning for the move. Hey, can I come see [Movie] at eight with a friend?”

    General Manager: “No.”

    (I assume that we have many pre-ordered for that time since this a premier for a big movie.)

    Me: “Oh, okay. Is there any other time we can come in?”

    General Manager: “No, we’re not giving out any passes tonight.”

    Me: “Huh? Why not?”

    General Manager: “Because no one called us back and because if you were unavailable then, you must be unavailable now and cannot see a movie.”

    Me: “That doesn’t make any sense. I wasn’t scheduled for today nor did I request today off. I simply just missed a phone call.”

    General Manager: “Yes, so that means you were unavailable. Have a good day.”

    (In the end, most of my coworkers and I went to another theater in the next town to see the movie. We not only enjoyed the movie but the more comfortable seats!)

    Deck The Halls With Mismanagement

    | Atlanta, GA ,USA | Bosses & Owners, Holidays, Movies & TV, Theme Of The Month

    (The holidays are fast approaching.)

    Manager: “Are you working tomorrow?”

    Me: “Yeah, why?”

    Manager: “Because tomorrow, [Owner's Wife] wants us to put up Christmas decorations.”

    Me: *groan* “Can’t I just clean something instead?”

    Manager: “I don’t have anything that needs cleaning… Actually, I do, but she wants us to do this.”

    Me: “But my mom always says you should clean first before putting up Christmas decorations.”

    Manager: “That’s because your mother actually makes sense. This is [Owner's Wife] we’re talking about. If your house was on fire, your mother would probably make you get outside. If the theater was on fire, [Owner's Wife] would probably make you clean something.”

    (Sadly, I couldn’t argue with that.)

    A White Walker Christmas

    | Vancouver, BC, Canada | Coworkers, Geeks Rule, Holidays, Movies & TV, Theme Of The Month

    (It’s early fall, and I’m teaching an employee who wasn’t with us through the Christmas season last year about how the job changes at that time of year. The customers are different, we go through so much more product, etc. I can tell she’s a bit nervous about the inevitable chaos.)

    Coworker: “I’ve never worked retail during Christmas before.”

    Me: “Yeah, well, brace yourself.”

    Coworker: “Winter is coming.”

    Me: “…that is the most apt usage of that expression that I have ever heard.”


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