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    Category: Rude & Risque

    Requires A Wii Bit Of An Explanation

    | OH, USA | Coworkers, Language & Words, Rude & Risque, Technology

    (I’m about to go get dinner with a coworker. Since I’ll be going home after, I have my backpack with me. I have a Wii packed in it, after forgetting it at a friend’s house. As we’re walking out, I realize I forgot something.)

    Me: “Oh, s***! [Coworker], hold my Wii!” *runs off*

    Coworker: “Hold your WHAT?!”

    The Asgardian After-Party

    | OR, USA | Geeks Rule, Language & Words, Rude & Risque

    (I am helping a mother and her 10-year-old son find a LEGO mini-figure of Thor from The Avengers.)

    Me: “Ah, here he is. Oops, he doesn’t have his hammer.” *I locate one that does

    have the hammer* “Here we go.”

    (At this point, I am attempting to say ‘Thor’s Hammer.’ My mouth twists the words in the worst possible way.)

    Me: “You do want ‘Whore’s Thammer?’ …Er, uh, I mean—”

    Mom: *laughing* “Oh, no, dear, that’s a DIFFERENT type of mini-figure!”

    (I was so relieved the mom had such a good sense of humor! They were awesome customers and have since become regulars. No one talks about the ‘whore’s thammer’ incident, though.)

    Making Very Personal Announcements

    | UK | Bosses & Owners, Rude & Risque, Technology

    (My boss, general manager of the store, is also a part time DJ. He has a gig tonight and has brought in his mixer and a microphone so that I can help him replace a fuse. This happens after closing time, when there are no customers but staff are still working stock.)

    Me: “So that’s the fuse changed. Now you should probably test it just on the off-chance I messed up.”

    Boss: “I trust you, but let’s test it anyway.”

    (We hook up his mixer to the PA system and power everything up.)

    Me: “What do I say?”

    Boss: *grabbing the microphone* “All right, [Supermarket], are you ready to make some f****** noise?!”

    They Don’t Need To Come With Dips

    | IN, USA | Employees, Rude & Risque

    (Friend #1 works at a well known supermarket as a cart pusher. He is a hard worker, but he lacks any sense of professionalism. Friend #2 has stopped by and this transpired.)

    Friend #1: “Hey, ask me if we have Doritos flavored condoms.”

    (Friend #2 adopts a theatrical pose.)

    Friend #2: “Sir! Do you have Doritos flavored condoms?”

    (Friend #1 grabs his store radio and calls over it.)

    Friend #1: *over the radio* “Management, a customer wishes to know if we have Doritos flavored condoms.”

    (Several seconds of silence pass by on an otherwise busy line.)

    Friend #1: *over radio* “Do you copy?”

    Supervisor: “No, we do not have… THAT, and do not say that over the walkie!”

    Floored By The Perverts

    | IN, USA | Employees, Rude & Risque

    (I am a cart pusher. I am on break and talking to a door greeter. His voice is very high pitched and is somewhat similar in tone to a certain well-known mouse character. Three attractive women walk in wearing long skirts. The greeter turns his head to watch and stares for a while as they walk on.)

    Greeter: “Hoo hoo hoo! It’s times like this that make me wish I was a floor!”

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