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    Category: Rude & Risque

    Should Have Skirted Around The Issue

    | Boston, MA, USA | Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive, Rude & Risque

    (I walked out of the dressing room and couldn’t find my friends to show off my outfit.)

    Dressing Room Attendant: *in a heavy accent* “I like that top but the skirt is too short. Makes you look a little like fancy prostitute. Don’t buy it.”

    Me: “Umm, this is my skirt…”

    Orlan-Dos And Don’ts

    | Armada, MI, USA | Employees, Rude & Risque

    (The small town I grew up in has a week-long fair every year. Even after moving away in high school, I sometimes go with friends for a day. This exchange happens with a rather old man who is running one of the attractions. I’m wearing a shirt I bought on a recent trip to Florida.)

    Carny: *noticing my shirt* “So you went to Orlando, eh? How was it?”

    Me: “It was a lot of fun. I got to go to Disney World, which was pretty awesome.”

    Carny: “Say, you know there’s this place called [some street in Orlando] where you can find women EVERYWHERE! I mean, you drive down there and they’re just waiting around for guys like us, if you know what I mean!”

    (This goes on for a minute or two, with the man telling me just how promiscuous the women are in that part of town, ending with:)

    Carny: “So, you’re… what? A sophomore in college, I’m guessing?”

    Me: “Actually, I’m a junior in high school…”

    (Strangely enough, he didn’t make eye contact with me at all after that.)

    Wake Me Up When September Begins

    | Italy | Bosses & Owners, Rude & Risque

    (I’m in the boss’ office discussing some issues. While I’m there, the boss’ phone rings. I only hear his half of the conversation.)

    Boss: “…no, don’t even go there. It’s July now and that will be in September. What’s the use talking about it? It’s like talking about going to bed with Claudia Schiffer.”

    Me: “Er, no, boss. September is going to happen eventually.”

    (He cracked up at that and had to end the call…)

    A Sizeable Innuendo

    | IA, USA | Coworkers, Rude & Risque

    (At the garment factory where I work, Coworker #1 is having trouble fitting some parts together and asks our lead for help.)

    Coworker #1: “[Lead], why won’t this fit?”

    Lead: “Look at the labels. You’ve got two different sizes. That’s right, girls! Sometimes size does matter!”

    (Coworker #2 and I burst into laughter.)

    Lead: “Oh, hush, you two! An extra large won’t fit in a medium.”

    Me: “[Lead], you’re not helping your cause.”

    Showing Some Restraint While Shopping

    | NY, USA | Employees, Rude & Risque

    (My boyfriend and I are at a popular novelty store that sells certain… bedroom things. We have just picked up a set of restraints and go to the counter to purchase them.)

    Cashier #1: “Did you find everything all right today?”

    Me: “Yeah, thanks. We’re just getting these.” *sets the box on the counter*

    Cashier #1: *turns bright pink* “Uh, um, I’ll just, uh, let me get someone to take of that for you.”

    (He scrambles into the back, leaving my boyfriend and me to exchange a confused look. After a moment he returns with another cashier in tow. She takes one look at our purchase and turns on him.)

    Cashier #2: “Geez, dude, they’re just restraints! It’s not like they’re buying a vibrator or anything! How do you even work here?!”

    (He blushes and stammers an apology and disappears into the back of the store again. Meanwhile, my boyfriend and I are trying desperately to keep straight faces.)

    Cashier #2: *to us* “I can ring you folks out. I’m really sorry about that. I don’t know how he’s lasted this long here.”

    Boyfriend: *trying not to laugh* “No, that’s fine. Thanks for your help.”

    Me: “It’s a good thing we didn’t find a vibrator we liked. That poor kid probably would have died right then and there.”


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