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  • Swearing You Into A Job
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  • Category: Rude & Risque

    Out In A Flash

    | MI, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Holidays, Rude & Risque, Themed Giveaway

    (My husband and I are on our way home from his grandparents’ house on Christmas Day. We don’t get out that way very often, so we decide to stop at a popular adult bookstore along the way. Once we are there, my husband remembered that he had left his ID at home. We went in, hoping we wouldn’t get carded, as we’re both 22 and quite young looking. When we walked in, the only employee, a male around our age, walks up.)

    Employee: “Can I see your IDs?”

    (I pull mine out, and then gave a big smile to my husband.)

    Me: “See you in a little bit!”

    (The employee checks my ID, and then goes about his business. My husband returns to the car. I call the employee over for help, but he is kind of moody, and unwilling to help much. I then go up to pay. While he was trying to find the barcode for the shoes, I decided to break the somewhat awkward silence.)

    Me: “Do you like working here?”

    Employee: “It’s better some days than others… and I have to work on Christmas. The best part is that I see a lot of boobs.”

    Me: “Oh?”

    Employee: *smiles* “Yeah, girls like to flash me. Especially today, since I have to work on Christmas and all.”

    (He looks down at me expectantly.)

    Me: “That’s nice.”

    (It is silent for a minute, before he bagged up my items. I hurriedly grab the bag, and turn to leave.)

    Employee: *calls out* “Don’t you want to—”

    (I wait until I get in the car and we are down the road before I tell my husband. His only response?)

    Husband: “I told you that you were hot!”

    Dropped The Ball On That One

    | Newton, MA, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Rude & Risque, Themed Giveaway

    (I frequented a store and have had a few run-ins with a strange male employee. He speaks in a monotone and wears a plastic glove on only one hand. I’m buying two chocolate eggs and some sleeping medicine.)

    Me: *puts items on counter and one egg rolls quickly toward the cashier* “Oh, no!”

    Cashier: *catches the egg from falling* “Don’t worry. It didn’t fall on the floor.”

    Me: “Awesome!”

    Cashier: “And it didn’t hit my balls either.”

    (I am speechless and cannot make eye contact. After the rest of the transaction is completed, I go to leave.)

    Cashier: “Goodbye… for now.”

    Not So Handy Handbook

    | NM, USA | Bosses & Owners, Rude & Risque

    Boss: “…so I had to help write the employee handbook because this company, being so new, didn’t have one yet. Now, if you’ll notice, the only reason we have the section on sexual harassment in the handbook is so you know if you are sexually harassing someone correctly.”

    Putting The Relation Into Relationship, Part 5

    | London, England, UK | Employees, Family & Kids, Rude & Risque, Themed Giveaway

    (I am at my dentist of 10 years having a crown put in. Since the dentist is quite far from home my sister drives me and sits in the waiting room whilst I’m having my crown put in. This conversation happens with the dentist’s assistant.)

    Assistant: “So, is that your girlfriend outside waiting for you?”

    Me: “No, that’s my sister…”

    Assistant: “Oh… you look good together. You should date!”

    (Neither of us could make eye contact with the assistant after that.)

    Related:
    From NotAlwaysRomantic:
    Putting The Relation Into Relationship, Part 4
    Putting The Relation Into Relationship, Part 3
    Putting The Relation Into Relationship, Part 2

    A Misunderstanding Of Under-aging

    | SK, Canada | Bosses & Owners, Coworkers, Rude & Risque, Themed Giveaway

    (I am training a new guy in the kitchen who is in his mid-30s, almost twice my age. The boss’ daughter is employed as a waitress up front, and occasionally comes into the kitchen to bring in dirty dishes. Every time she does, the new guy stops paying attention to what I’m telling him and stares at her.)

    New Guy: “Wow, I would love to get me some of that.”

    (This goes on for a while. He looks, stares, and often has some kind of comment about her physical attributes.)

    Me: “You know that’s the boss’ daughter, right?”

    New Guy: “That doesn’t bother me.”

    Me: “How old do you think she is?”

    New Guy: *pauses and thinks for a moment* “The way I see it, as long as a girl is old enough to get into the bar it doesn’t matter.”

    Me: “Come on, guess.”

    New Guy: “22?”

    Me: “She just turned 14 last week.”

    (He never said anything about her ever again.)


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