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  • August's Theme Of The Month: Best. Boss. Ever!

    Category: Rude & Risque

    Cannot Be Undone

    | QLD, Australia | Rude & Risque

    (We are in a regular team meeting, and our manager is going through the usual minutes.)

    Manager: “Moving on to leave & absences.”

    Colleague #1: “I’ll be on leave next week, and [Colleague #2] will be away the week after.”

    (Colleague #1 and Colleague #2 are the only two client managers in our office.)

    Manager: “So you’ll be doing [Colleague #2] and she’ll be doing you?”

    Colleague #3: “That’ll be quote of the day.”

    Totally Over The Leftovers

    | FL, USA | Bosses & Owners, Food & Drink, Rude & Risque

    (I work in the deli section of my store. At 8 pm, we remove all the unsold food from our hot case and wing bar to throw it out. We have dumped all that food into a cardboard box which is sitting on a cart behind the counter but haven’t thrown it out yet. Ten minutes later, I see two cashiers from the front end picking through the old wings at the top of the pile of old food and putting them in to-go boxes.)

    Me: “You don’t want those.”

    Cashier #1: “Yeah, we do.”

    Cashier #2: “They look like they’re still good to me.”

    Me: “That’s gross. They’re all hard and crusty and old.”

    Cashier #1: “That’s what she said!”

    Me: *shuddering* “God, I hope she didn’t say that!”

    Both Involve Cash Bills

    | Canada | Bosses & Owners, Rude & Risque

    (We have a process called “stripping” where large amounts of cash are removed from the tills for safe keeping. I’ve just covered a cashier to go to the washroom, and I notice several large bills in her till.)

    Me: “So you’re just about due to strip.”

    Cashier: “EXCUSE ME!?”

    Me: “Umm… a cash strip. You’ve got several large bills in your drawer.”

    Cashier: “Oh, I thought you meant something different.”

    Me: “Mmhmm, no, I’m not that kind of manager.”

    Cashier: “Just so you know, I’m not that kind of employee either.”

    You Bread My Mind

    | Franklin, TN, USA | Coworkers, Food & Drink, Rude & Risque

    (My boss is known for inserting innuendos into conversations and remaining completely deadpan. My coworkers and I in customer service are used to this and find it hilarious. My brother, who works in the bakery of my store, has never met my boss. After her shift one day, my boss goes to the bakery to get a baguette. My coworker sometimes works in the bakery, but is usually in the customer service department and so is familiar with our boss’s banter.)

    Boss: “Do you have any baguettes?”

    (My brother looks in the bins and doesn’t see any.)

    Brother: “Nope. Hey, [Coworker], do we have any baguettes?”

    Coworker: “I have a long hot one in the back.”

    Boss: “Do I have to be in a certain position to get it?”

    Has To D-emonstrate

    | Tucson, AZ, USA | Employees, Language & Words, Rude & Risque

    (I work in a clerical position at a medical office. One of my duties is filing and retrieving patient charts, which are organized alphabetically. I’m filing charts when one of the doctors walks in and hands me the chart for the patient she just saw:)

    Doctor: “Here’s a ‘D.'”


    Me: “That’s… not something you should say to an employee.”

    Doctor: “Why? What does it mean?”

    Me: “Um…” *points*

    Doctor: “…Oh.”

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