Featured Story:
  • Cardi-gonna Get You In Trouble
    (744 thumbs up)
  • March's Theme Of The Month: Team Building!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Rude & Risque

    Making Very Personal Announcements

    | UK | Bosses & Owners, Rude & Risque, Technology

    (My boss, general manager of the store, is also a part time DJ. He has a gig tonight and has brought in his mixer and a microphone so that I can help him replace a fuse. This happens after closing time, when there are no customers but staff are still working stock.)

    Me: “So that’s the fuse changed. Now you should probably test it just on the off-chance I messed up.”

    Boss: “I trust you, but let’s test it anyway.”

    (We hook up his mixer to the PA system and power everything up.)

    Me: “What do I say?”

    Boss: *grabbing the microphone* “All right, [Supermarket], are you ready to make some f****** noise?!”

    They Don’t Need To Come With Dips

    | IN, USA | Employees, Rude & Risque

    (Friend #1 works at a well known supermarket as a cart pusher. He is a hard worker, but he lacks any sense of professionalism. Friend #2 has stopped by and this transpired.)

    Friend #1: “Hey, ask me if we have Doritos flavored condoms.”

    (Friend #2 adopts a theatrical pose.)

    Friend #2: “Sir! Do you have Doritos flavored condoms?”

    (Friend #1 grabs his store radio and calls over it.)

    Friend #1: *over the radio* “Management, a customer wishes to know if we have Doritos flavored condoms.”

    (Several seconds of silence pass by on an otherwise busy line.)

    Friend #1: *over radio* “Do you copy?”

    Supervisor: “No, we do not have… THAT, and do not say that over the walkie!”

    Floored By The Perverts

    | IN, USA | Employees, Rude & Risque

    (I am a cart pusher. I am on break and talking to a door greeter. His voice is very high pitched and is somewhat similar in tone to a certain well-known mouse character. Three attractive women walk in wearing long skirts. The greeter turns his head to watch and stares for a while as they walk on.)

    Greeter: “Hoo hoo hoo! It’s times like this that make me wish I was a floor!”

    Scream If You Want To Go Calmer

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Bosses & Owners, Language & Words, Rude & Risque

    (I suffer from anxiety, and it is often noticeable in my demeanor when I am at work. My manager is male; I am female.)

    Manager: “You’re doing fine, really. It’s okay to relax. Take some deep breaths.”

    Me: “I know. It’s just hard.”

    Manager: “One of these days I’m going to take you out to the alleyway behind the shop and make you scream.”

    Me: “…”

    Manager: “… I mean, it’s a really good confidence building exercise – the primal scream! God, that sounded really wrong. Sorry.”

    Very Hard Drive

    , | Lexington, KY, USA | Coworkers, Rude & Risque, Technology

    (I worked the support line for a large PC company. One night a woman calls in who has the breathiest, sexiest voice I’d ever heard and she is relaying my instructions to her boyfriend. I mute my phone and grab my friend.)

    Me: “[Coworker]! I need your help!”

    (Coworker plugs her headset into my phone.)

    Me: *unmuting* “Okay, ma’am, let’s boot into safe mode and see where the problem is. Press F9 over and over as fast as you can.”

    Customer: *to her boyfriend* “Ohhhh, baby, you gotta go faster! Hit it faster, baby! FASTER!”

    (Coworker’s eyes go wide and stifles a giggle.)

    Coworker: “Holy s****, [My Name], what did you drag me into?”

    Me: “Are you kidding? When I tell this story later no one would believe it if I didn’t have a witness.”

    (Coworker started to protest but stopped and gave the ‘good point’ acceptance nod. Sure enough for the rest of the night our whole floor went to her to confirm my ‘porncall’ story wasn’t made up.)

    Page 1/2312345...Last
    Next Page »