• Very Genderal Humor
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  • October's Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

    Category: School

    Should Have Phoned Ahead

    , | MI, USA | Ignoring/Inattentive, Job Seekers, School

    (One student worker is at the circulation desk and I am in my office, which looks out on the desk. A middle-aged woman comes into the library talking VERY loudly on her phone:)

    Woman: *keeps talking and shoves a paper at my student worker* “WORK STUDY!”

    Student Worker: “You are looking for a work study position?”

    (The woman nods and keeps talking on her phone. The student worker brings me the paper. It turns out to be the student’s schedule, showing when she can work.)

    Me: “I am sorry, you are getting a late start on this and we have already filled our positions this semester.”

    (The woman is given back her paper. On the way out of the library I hear her tell her friend:)

    Woman: “Man, ain’t nobody on this campus doing any hiring.”

    Repeating A Track Runaround

    | VA, USA | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, School

    (My phone number is one digit off from another department on campus. I frequently get calls for the other department, so I’m used to giving out their number. Usually, it’s no big deal. Not this time.)

    Me: “[My department]; this is [My Name].”

    Information Desk Person: “Hi [unintelligible], this is [unintelligible]. I [unintelligible] and she was wondering [unintelligible].”

    Me: “I’m sorry, could you repeat that? I’m having some trouble hearing you.”

    Information Desk Person: “Yes, I’m calling to find out if [unintelligible] is open today.”

    Me: “I’m sorry; I’m still having trouble hearing you. Could you please say that one more time?”

    Information Desk Person: “Yes, I’m calling to find out what hours the track is open today.”

    Me: “Oh! I’m sorry, you have the wrong number. You’re trying to reach the Rec center. Their number is 8999.”

    Information Desk Person: “That’s what I called.”

    Me: “No, you called my phone; I’m not in the Rec center. You’re trying to reach the Rec center, at the extension 5-8999. My number is really close; it’s 5-9999. That’s the number you called. You need to call 5-8999.”

    Information Desk Person: “But you’re answering their phone.”

    Me: “No, I’m answering MY phone. You’ve called the wrong number.”

    Information Desk Person: “But I called the Rec center.”

    Me: “You’re on campus, right?”

    Information Desk Person: “Yes.”

    Me: “Okay, then you need to dial the following number: 5. 8. 9. 9. 9.”

    Information Desk Person: “That’s the number I called.”

    Me: “No. You didn’t. You need to call 5. 8. 9. 9. 9.”

    Information Desk Person: “I don’t need to call the whole number?”

    Me: “Not if you’re using a campus phone.”

    Information Desk Person: “So I call 8899.”

    Me: “I’m going to say the extension again. 5. 8. 9. 9. 9. That is the number you need to call.”

    Information Desk Person: “But that IS the number I called.”

    Me: “NO. You called my number. You need to call 5. 8. 9. 9. 9. I can give you the entire number, just so you make sure you call the correct number, okay? It’s 5. 4. 0. 5. 5. 5. 8. 9. 9. 9. Okay? Call that number. That’s who you’re trying to reach.”

    Information Desk Person: “I DID call that number.”

    Me: “NO YOU DIDN’T. Our numbers are very close, but they’re completely, totally different numbers. You need to call 5. 4. 0. 5. 5. 5. 8. 9. 9. 9. Did you write that down?”

    Information Desk Person: “I did. And you work at the rec center?”

    Me: “No. I am in [My Department]. You need to call that other number.”

    Information Desk Person: “So I should hang up and call that number.”

    Me: “Yes. I’ll give it to you one more time. 5. 4. 0. 5. 5. 5. 8. 9. 9. 9.”

    (Three seconds later: Ring ring! I sigh as I see the number on my caller ID.)

    Me: “[My Department]; this is [My Name].”

    Information Desk Person: “Hi, this is [unintelligible]. I’m calling from the Information Desk because I have someone who’s looking for the rec center.”

    Me: “You’ve called the wrong number again.”

    Information Desk Person: “No, I called the Rec center.”

    Me: “This is the person you just talked to. I am going to give you the phone number one. last. time. Are you ready?”

    Information Desk Person: “You don’t work in the rec center?”

    Me: “No. I. work. in. [My]. [Department]. Here. is. the. number. you. need. to. call. Write. these. numbers. down.”

    Information Desk Person: “Okay.”

    Me: “5.”

    Information Desk Person: “Okay.”

    Me: “4.”

    Information Desk Person: “Okay.”

    Me: “0.”

    Information Desk Person: “Okay.”

    Me: “5.”

    Information Desk Person: “Okay.”

    Me: “5.”

    Information Desk Person: “Okay.”

    Me: “5.”

    Information Desk Person: “Okay.”

    Me: “8.”

    Information Desk Person: “Okay.”

    Me: “9.”

    Information Desk Person: “Okay.”

    Me: “9.”

    Information Desk Person: “Okay.”

    Me: “9.”

    Information Desk Person: “Okay.”

    Me: “Now read that back to me.”

    Information Desk Person: “540-555-8999.”

    Me: “Perfect. Have a great day.”

    (Three seconds later: Ring ring!)

    Me: “YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME! [My Department]; this is [My Name].”

    Information Desk Person: “Hi, I’m—”

    Me: “I’m going to cut you off right there. If you call me one more time, I am going to find out who your supervisor is and have you fired. I’m not kidding. Call the number I gave you.”

    Information Desk Person: “What number was—”

    Me: *click*

    (She didn’t call back. I have no idea if the person ever found out about the track’s availability.)

    A Low Grade Of Customer Service

    | Berkshire, England, UK | Employees, School

    (I am a 20 year old female, but I have been told I look anywhere from 14-16. I made an appointment to discuss getting a student credit card so that I could build up a good credit history early and make life easier later down the line. I arrive 10 minutes early because I hate being late. As things go, the person before me takes 30 minutes extra, so I’m already a bit frustrated when I start talking with him.)

    Banker: “So, you want to open a student credit card?”

    Me: “Yes, I study archaeology BSc at [University].”

    Banker: “Oh, good. They are okay, I guess… What grades do you get?”

    (First off, the uni is on par with Oxford for the course I am on and beats Cambridge, so it’s not just okay. Secondly, I do not feel my grades are his concern but I am doing very well so I don’t mind.)

    Me: “Oh, I’m getting high two ones, so, really good!”

    Banker: *chuckles* “That’s not too bad, I suppose…”

    Me: “I am second best in my class; I am doing extremely well and am only in first year.”

    Banker: *looks at me incredulously* “Really, you could do better.”

    (2:1 is second highest you can get. As I am just below border for first, this is EXTREMELY offensive.)

    Banker: “Oh, and next week someone will call you to check on customer service. Can you not mention the wait?”

    Me: “Of course not. I work in customer service; I understand waiting…”

    (No I didn’t mention the wait… I did however mention how unsettled he made me feel, and the fact he kept alluding to not wishing to give me a card because I wasn’t getting the highest grade.)

    Back To School Telemarketing

    | USA | Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive, School

    (Someone claiming to be from a recruiting firm calls me up, saying they found my CV online and want to add me to their system for new jobs. As I am in fact looking for work, I happily start answering his questions about my career history and the what not.)

    Rep: “And are you planning on going back to school in the next six months?”

    Me: “Nope.”

    Rep: “Okay, would you consider it if I were to tell you that I could set you up with a deal on funding and find you a course of your interest?”

    Me: “Uh… no, not really. I’m just looking for a job right now.”

    Rep: “Indeed, but consider how much better your options could be if you had another degree to go on!”

    Me: “Actually, I already have both a BA and an MA. I’m really not interested in going back to school right now.”

    Rep: “But, sir, consider how easily it could be fit in with your work schedule. Can you imagine how easy it’d be to work a decent position while preparing for even greater aspects in the future by going to school at the same time?”

    Me: “Well, again, no. I specifically stated at the beginning of this conversation that I was looking for full time work. I don’t really see how I could be attending class at the same time if my entire week is going to be dedicated to my career.”

    Rep: “Oh, f*** this.” *hangs up*

    Getting Out Of Work With Surgical Precision

    , | KS, USA | Bosses & Owners, Coworkers, Family & Kids, Health & Body, Overtime, School

    (I work in a deli inside of a chain grocery store. I’m always on closing duty which has me at work until well after midnight. I’m also a full-time college student. I’m usually fine going into class on very little sleep, but I don’t want to take tests like that, so I put in for time off on the nights before my final exams, which are all early in the morning. The week before my exams, we’re given our schedules for the following week.)

    Me: “Uh, [Manager], you’ve got me down to work close next Wednesday night. I asked for it off and you approved it, but then you scheduled me.”

    Manager: “Oh. Well, can you still come in?”

    Me: I’d rather not. I have to be up early Thursday morning for exams. It’s just next week; I’m off for the summer so I can work whatever hours you need after that. But, I really don’t want to take important exams on three or four hours of sleep.

    Manager: “Hmm.” *says nothing more and goes back to work*

    (I assume I am still going to have to go in, so decide to just suck it up and hope for the best. Fast forward to the following Wednesday. I arrive for my shift, to find that a coworker who hadn’t been on the schedule is there. She is as surprised to see me as I am to see her.)

    Coworker: “Why are you here? [Manager] asked me to cover for you because you said you couldn’t come in.”

    Me: “Seriously?! She didn’t say anything to me about that. I had asked for tonight off because of my exams tomorrow morning, but she put me down anyway. But, okay, if you’re here I guess I’ll go home—”

    Coworker: “No, we should really talk to a manager to make sure.”

    Me: “All of the managers are gone, I think. One of the store managers might still be here… but we’d better hurry because they won’t be here long.”

    (We manage to find the store assistant manager, who is the only one still in, and explain the situation.)

    Me: “[Manager] hadn’t told me she was having someone cover, but since we’ve got coverage, I’d really like to head home so I can be well-rested for my exams tomorrow.”

    Coworker: “I GUESS I could stay but… my little boy is only five months old and he just had surgery on his poor little feet this morning. I hated to leave him but [Manager] asked…”

    (I’m confused because this coworker had never mentioned her son having surgery scheduled — and she talks incessantly about EVERYTHING related to her son, even an inconsequential sneeze. And why would she have agreed to cover for me if her baby was scheduled for surgery that day?)

    Assistant Manager: “Oh!” *gives me a dirty look then turns back to my coworker* “You go right on home to be with your baby. He needs you.” *turns back to me, and says rather rudely* “Go get clocked in and get to work.”

    (The other closer ended up calling in sick, leaving me to close by myself. I went in to my exams the next morning on under two hours of sleep, and failed them both. The kicker? The bakery manager saw me the next day, heard what happened, and informed me that she saw my coworker and her husband only minutes before I walked in — showing off her not-been-operated-on baby to the bakery employees.)

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