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  • Establishing Order Over Tall Orders
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  • Category: Technology

    Very Hard Drive

    , | Lexington, KY, USA | Coworkers, Rude & Risque, Technology

    (I worked the support line for a large PC company. One night a woman calls in who has the breathiest, sexiest voice I’d ever heard and she is relaying my instructions to her boyfriend. I mute my phone and grab my friend.)

    Me: “[Coworker]! I need your help!”

    (Coworker plugs her headset into my phone.)

    Me: *unmuting* “Okay, ma’am, let’s boot into safe mode and see where the problem is. Press F9 over and over as fast as you can.”

    Customer: *to her boyfriend* “Ohhhh, baby, you gotta go faster! Hit it faster, baby! FASTER!”

    (Coworker’s eyes go wide and stifles a giggle.)

    Coworker: “Holy s****, [My Name], what did you drag me into?”

    Me: “Are you kidding? When I tell this story later no one would believe it if I didn’t have a witness.”

    (Coworker started to protest but stopped and gave the ‘good point’ acceptance nod. Sure enough for the rest of the night our whole floor went to her to confirm my ‘porncall’ story wasn’t made up.)

    Just Realised How That Sounded

    | WI, USA | Bosses & Owners, Health & Body, Technology

    (I was mute for three years due to functional dysphonia. Because most of my employment history was as an agent in various call centers, it was tough finding a job during that time. Fortunately, I was able to land a job as a QA specialist at a call center which required only listening and typing, not talking. At one point the building maintenance guys are doing something to the wiring in our building, and the phone at my desk, which shouldn’t have even been connected, starts ringing.)

    Me: *instant-messaging a manager* “My phone rang!”

    Manager: “It can’t ring. Yours isn’t even connected.”

    Me: “But it’s ringing!”

    Manager: “So answer it.”

    Me: “How?”

    Manager: “What do you mean ‘how’? Just pick up the phone and t— Never mind.”

    Telemarketers Versus Religion

    | NC, USA | Religion, Technology

    (I stay at a rental beach house with my boyfriend and his family, as well as a friend of his younger sister’s. My boyfriend, his two siblings, his sister’s friend, and I are all in the living room when the phone rings. We all just kind of look at each other, and assuming it’s a telemarketer, I eagerly get up to answer.)

    Me: “Hello?”

    (The telemarketer goes into his speech about long-distance service, not even asking if I’m the head of house or old enough to make that kind of decision.)

    Me: “This is a beach house.”

    Telemarketer: “Are you happy with your current long-distance service?”

    Me: “We don’t have a phone.”

    Telemarketer: “Uh… excuse me?”

    Me: “We don’t have a phone. We don’t believe in phones. You see, we’re Mormon.”

    Telemarketer: “What?”

    Me: *click*

    (Everyone had contained their laughter until I hung up. For the rest of the week, we made excuses about not doing things ‘because I’m Mormon.’)

    I Nintendon’t Believe It

    | San Jose, CA, USA | Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful, Technology

    (I’m meeting up with a friend who often hangs out at a game shop. It is literally a knock off of a very popular game shop, to the point of using the same font and coloration. I’m pretty uncomfortable, but I haven’t seen this friend in a while, so I stick around. Then, a teenager walks in.)

    Teen: “Hey, I dropped off my 3DS to be fixed. Any idea when it’s going to be fixed?”

    Employee: “Um, I’ll call the owner and find out.”

    (Employee calls the owner, then returns.)

    Employee: “So, the technician has had to take care of his family a lot recently, so he hasn’t been in to fix anything. Just come back next week, and it’ll probably be fine.”

    (The teen leaves.)

    Employee: *after teen is completely gone* “So, we kind of lost his 3DS…”

    Taking A Swipe At Technology

    | Lismore, NSW, Australia | At The Checkout, Employees, Technology

    (I have made a take-away order over the phone and have come in to pay for it.)

    Cashier: “Cash or card tonight?”

    Me: “Card, please.”

    (I had over my EFTPOS card, which the cashier swipes for me. ‘BAD SWIPE – SWIPE AGAIN’ appears on the screen.)

    Cashier: “Oh, come on, that was so not a bad swipe!”

    Me: “Sounds like you’ve been having a bad night?”

    Cashier: “You have no idea. This machine and I do not get along at all. I can never get it to do ANYTHING I need it to do. I hate it!”

    (I laugh and we continue with the transaction.)

    Cashier: “Would you like a receipt with that?”

    Me: “No, thanks.”

    Cashier: “Yeah, I wouldn’t want anything it had to offer me either if I were you.”

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