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    Category: Technology

    There’s A Crack In Their Window

    | Detroit, MI, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Employees, Liars/Scammers, Technology

    Scammer: “Hello Ma’am. This is Microsoft Tech Support. We have a report from your internet service provider that your computer has been hacked and is sending out viruses.”

    Me: “Oh really?”

    Scammer: “Yes, Ma’am. Your ISP is giving this tech support assistance absolutely free to all their customers. I just need you to sit down at your computer and I’ll give you directions so on how to fix the problem.”

    Me: “And who did you say is calling?”

    Scammer: “This is Microsoft Tech Support. And the call is absolutely free. If you will just turn on your computer, I’ll walk you through fixing the problem so that we can stop the hackers from using your machine.”

    Me: “No, you’re not.”

    Scammer: “Excuse me?”

    Me: “You aren’t Microsoft Tech Support. This is a scam.”

    Scammer: “No, Ma’am. Windows is from Microsoft, and I’m calling because your Internet Service Provider contacted Microsoft about your computer being hacked. Your ISP is paying for this call; therefore, we here at Microsoft can help you fix your computer free of charge.”

    Me: “I don’t think so. You’re hacker and you’re trying to get access to my computer. And it won’t work because I already know it’s a scam. I use Linux.”

    (Very long silence… *click*)

    Game Over For This Store

    | MI, USA | Bosses & Owners, Extra Stupid, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (I work at a small video game shop that sells new and used games as well as new and used consoles. This includes retro consoles. We have, on display, many different consoles and games. Our business is set up so that if we have a game or console in stock customers can play any game before buying, and can trade in pretty much any game regardless of console. In fact, it was even in the name of the business that someone could trade and play games. We also do console repairs. Along with working the floor, I’m the only person who repairs these consoles. The owner of the business, however, starts getting more and more restricting toward customers.)

    Boss: “So, everyone, the new policy is that customers cannot play any games unless they are going to buy it.”

    Me: “How do we know they are going to buy it, or for that matter how do the customers know if they are going to buy the game without playing it?”

    Boss: “We’re doing this so parents will not drop off kids to play games and leave us to babysit.”

    Me: “But that’s half of our customers that would buy video games.”

    Boss: “Just don’t let people play games!”

    (The boss posts a big sign in the window about this and, as a result, we lose about half of our business. He also fires most of my coworkers within two weeks, leaving just four of us.)

    Boss: “Okay, everyone. Since we’ve somehow lost a lot of business, you’ll notice I’ve had to let some of your coworkers go. We’re also not going to host any more of the weekly game tournaments.”

    Coworker #1: “But those tournaments bring in more money in two hours than any other whole day!”

    Boss: “Well, we aren’t going to do them any more. We aren’t bringing in a lot, so I can’t afford to have all of you here at once for tournaments. That’s final.”

    Coworker #2: “What about new releases? We’ve lost a lot of customers to [Big Chain Competitor] because we haven’t gotten in any new releases this week.”

    Boss: “I didn’t buy any of the new releases this week. I don’t want to buy any more new releases until we get more sales. We don’t have enough customers so we can’t afford to just have these on the shelf. That’s why we are also stopping all trades. We need to move this old stuff before we take in any trades. I don’t want a single trade in unless it’s for some other old thing. Trades are no longer allowed to be used towards newer games.”

    Me: *after we all unsuccessfully tried to reason with him* “And what about repair parts? I have about 40 consoles that have been here for weeks and I still haven’t gotten the parts in. Can you check on the parts for me?”

    Boss: “I’ll buy you those parts. Just give me a list of what you need.”

    (I give my boss the same list of parts I had given him weeks before. Since he didn’t want more than one person working at a time, I was put on repairs only. This meant I was only paid commission on repairs. After four total weeks of no parts and no paychecks, I went to the store to talk to him.)

    Me: “[Coworker #1], have you seen [Boss]? And I thought [Coworker #3] was working today.”

    Coworker #1: “No, I haven’t seen [Boss], and [Coworker #3] quit. He was yelled at for locking up the place so he could go to the bathroom.”

    Me: “So let me get this straight. He was forced to work all alone from opening until closing and got yelled at for locking the door so he could go into the back to pee?”

    Coworker #1: “Yep. I’m just glad I’m actually getting paid.”

    Me: “Yeah. I’m still waiting on those parts to come in and I haven’t gotten a paycheck in a month!”

    Coworker #1: “He hasn’t talked to you?! He said he wasn’t going to order them until we had more sales.”

    Me: “What?! So [Boss] has stopped letting people play games, stopped hosting game tournaments, stopped buying new releases, stopped taking in trades, and stopped console repairs?! And he expects more customers and more sales?!”

    (I printed some receipt paper and wrote, ‘Since I haven’t worked for the past month, let’s make it official. I quit. Signed, [My Name]‘ and taped it to his office door. Not surprisingly, the business closed a few weeks later.)

    Incontinent Telephone Service

    | USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Geography, Technology, Tourists & Travel

    (I am planning a trip to France. I call my cellular provider to find out what I need to do to make calls while I’m there.)

    Me: “I’m planning a trip to Europe, and I need to know what I need to do to make calls while I’m there.”

    Rep: “I’ve looked over the list of countries where you can make calls, and Europe isn’t on the list.”

    Me: “I’m going to France.”

    Rep: “Yes, that’s on the list.”

    They’re Not On The Same Page

    | Dusseldorf, Germany | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I’m working in the local IT department of an international law firm.)

    Me: “IT support. How may I help you?”

    Lawyer: “I can’t print.”

    (I see the lawyer’s name and room number on my display.)

    Me: “Hello, Mr. [Lawyer]. What do you mean, you can’t print? I don’t have reports of printer malfunctions, yet. Could you please describe your problem further? Do you get an error message?”

    Lawyer: “I can’t print! There is no error message; the d*** thing doesn’t react at all!”

    Me: “On which printer are you trying to print?”

    Lawyer: “Which printer? F****** all of them! I even installed a printer on a different floor!”

    (I connect remotely to his PC and see that he has a Word document open and every printer in the selection box gives the status ‘ready’. Additionally I check every printer on his floor via our Web Interface for error messages. No error comes up.)

    Lawyer: “I need the last page printed out ASAP. Every time I’m in a hurry these d*** PCs aren’t working. Why can’t you and your colleagues get these f****** things to work like they should?”

    Me: “Uhm… you need the last page printed? That would be page three of that document?”

    Lawyer: “No, godd*** it! Are you blind? Here, in the line ‘print page xx’ I typed in page four! I need page four! I have a meeting with a client in five minutes and I need this page for my notes! F***!”

    Me: “Is this the correct document? Because I see that this document only has three pages.”

    (I change the four into a three and click on ‘print,’ and sure enough the printer in his office starts printing.)

    Me: “The printer seems to be working fine. Is this the page you need?”

    Lawyer: “Uhm… this is the page… Yes… Well… I can handle it from here. Bye.” *click*

    Different Kinds Of Alarm Bells Should Be Ringing

    | UK | Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful, Technology

    (During the night I get a phone call from our security company informing me that our security alarm is going off. The assistant manager and I meet at the store and manage to ascertain the cause of the problem is a door which had been opened earlier that day that links our premises to the travel agent next door. This door is normally locked and only the travel agents have a key. While closing it we trigger their alarm and call the police in the hope they can contact their key-holders about the situation. They are unable to get hold of the key-holders themselves but give me the number for their security company.)

    Employee: “Hello, [Security Company].”

    Me: “Hi, I’m calling on behalf of [Coffee Shop]. We have been advised to call you by the police regarding an alarm that has been set off at the premises of one of your clients.”

    Employee: “Okay, no problem. What’s your password?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t have a password. We’re not one of your clients. The travel agents next door are and we’re calling to try and give you information so you can contact them.”

    Employee: “So if you don’t have their password do you have your password?”

    Me: “No, sorry. I think there may have been a misunderstanding. Our store is not a client of yours but we have set off an alarm at the travel agents next door who are one of your clients. It has been caused by a door that links the two properties. We need to get in contact with them to let them know the cause of the problem and to find out if they can lock the door as we don’t have a key for it.”

    Employee: “I can’t let you contact them without a password.”

    Me: “I’m not trying to contact them. I’m asking you to contact them. There is a security issue at your clients property and you are their security company. You will need to contact them about this; I want to give you information to help them to solve the problem.”

    Employee: “I’m sorry. I can’t do anything without your password.”

    Me: “So, you’re telling me I can’t let you know about a security issue at your client’s premises unless I have a password? It’s your duty to call your clients when their alarms are going off but you have no way of letting members of the public notify you their alarm is going off without a password? In spite of the fact that if I had a password I would presumably be a member of their staff and thus not need to contact you to let you know the alarm was going off?”

    Employee: “That is correct.”

    (Since the conversation was going nowhere I hung up. I contacted the travel agents the next day and they had not even received the mandatory call the security company should have made to them to let them know the alarm had been activated.)


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