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    Category: Technology

    Not Charged For Battery

    | Burlington, ON, Canada | Awesome Workers, Technology

    (My [Apple Computer] has been sluggish and uncooperative in a way that can’t be accounted for by its amount of free space, its dead battery, or anything else I can think of. I take it to an Apple Store Genius Bar, where they determine that it needs a new motherboard. Since replacing the motherboard would cost over $600, my mother takes it to the Electronics Store where we bought it, since we bought a warranty from them. My mom calls me from the store.)

    Mom: “He says that the motherboard is covered, but the battery isn’t.”

    Me: “Well, that’s fine. The battery isn’t urgent, and it won’t cost me nearly as much.”

    (The employee tells my mom the repair will take two weeks. Almost two weeks later, I get a call that it’s ready, and go to [Electronics Store]’s Geek Squad counter. An employee brings out my laptop.)

    Employee: “Let’s just turn it on and see if everything’s running okay.”

    Me: “Oh, you’ll need to plug it in, the battery’s—”

    (The employee presses the button and the computer turns on. I stare in confusion.)

    Employee: “We replaced the battery.”

    Me: *shocked* “What?! I was told that wasn’t covered!”

    Employee: “Well, that’s a fun debate we like to have here at [Electronics Store]…”

    Me: “So you replaced it for free?!”

    Employee: “Yep!”

    Me: “Oh, my God! Thank you! This is awesome!”

    Employee: “That’s a nice walk-in, eh?”

    (I look at the bottom of the laptop, noticing it has all four rubber feet; previously it had been missing two which had fallen off.)

    Me: “Did you put new feet on it?”

    Employee: “Yeah.”

    Me: “Wow! Thank you!”

    Employee: “I wish we just kept a bucket of those, because so many Mac users have them fall off.”

    (I left the store glowing with happiness at my like-new computer. I got a $600 motherboard and a $150 battery replaced for free, which means the 3-year warranty I bought has now paid for itself more than twice over. The next day I noticed that they’d even cleaned the screen! Thank you, Electronics Store!)

    Trying To Get You Into A Sticky Situation

    | England, UK | Bosses & Owners, Coworkers, Technology

    (I have a few of those free Apple stickers left over and stick one on my work laptop. It is very clear that it’s not an Apple product. You can even see the original manufacturing sticker through the apple.)

    Coworker: *joking* “Hey, nice laptop.”

    Me: “Thanks, top of the line in budget essentials.”

    (We are both still laughing about it when Coworker #2 comes over.)

    Coworker #2: “How come you get a new laptop?”

    Me: “Huh, what?”

    Coworker #2: *irate* “I have been asking for months and you just get one?!”

    Coworker: *winding him up* “Well, he is the boss’ favourite.”

    Coworker #2: “I can’t believe this! I’m speaking with [Boss]!” *storms off*

    (We both crack up and forget about it, until later in the day.)

    Boss: “[My Name], what’s this about a new…” *spots my old laptop sticker still in place* “Oh. Err. ”

    (Coworker #2 is straining to see what is going on.)

    Boss: “Keep up the good work, and maybe we can sort out some more new equipment for you.”

    Me: “Like an Apple coffee cup?”

    Boss: *winking* “Maybe even an Apple stapler.”

    (Coworker #2 sulked for the rest of the week, until one morning ‘someone’ ripped off the sticker.  By that point I had loads more so everything on my desk is covered with them, much to Coworker #2’s annoyance!)

    Can’t Think Outside The Smoking Box

    | St. Louis, MO, USA | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I am working for a lab company in IT. The nurses and phlebotomists we work with tend to be technology phobic. This day, I get a call and the caller is surprisingly low key considering the commotion I hear in the background.)

    Me: “How can I help you today?”

    Caller: *someone yelling in the background* “Hi, I’m at the blood draw station on [Street Name].”

    Me: “Okay, what can I do for you?”

    Caller: “Yeah. Well. You see, there’s smoke coming out of the box.”

    Me: “What box?”

    Caller: “The box under the computer.”

    Me: “Do you mean the computer?”

    Caller: “Nah, the computer looks funny, but the box under it is smoking.”

    (From long practice, I pretty much know the “computer” is the monitor, and the “box” is the actual computer.)

    Me: *getting a little frantic* “Can you unplug it right away?”

    Caller: “Oh, yeah, sure. I can do that. Hold on.”

    (Several minutes later…)

    Caller: “Hey, that stopped the smoke. Thanks!” *click*

    (I sent a service tech out immediately. The case was even charred!)

    Instructions Do Not Compute

    | Washington, DC, USA | Coworkers, Technology

    (I do repair work at a non-profit. My boss wanted me to train someone to help me with my work. While training him on a standard install procedure he decided to take notes.)

    Coworker: “Okay… first, navigate to the flash drive’s folder.”

    Me: “That’s correct.”

    Coworker: “Second, insert the flash drive.”

    Me: *politely* “Actually, you need to do that first.”

    (I later found out that he was trying to get certified as a computer technician. I managed to convince him to at least take a computer literacy course first.)

    Pregnancy Is A Habitual Hazard

    | CO, USA | Employees, Health & Body, Ignoring/Inattentive, Technology

    (I’m undergoing an ultrasound in the hopes of troubleshooting some pain issues.)

    Technician: “After we’re done with this part, you can go empty your bladder and leave a sample so we can test for pregnancy.”

    Me: “Oh, I left one when I was here last.”

    Technician: “Still, we want to be sure you haven’t gotten pregnant in the meantime.”

    Me: “…It was four days ago?”

    Technician: “We still want to be certain.”

    Me: “We are currently VIEWING my uterus on a screen. It is clearly unoccupied. How much more certain can we get?”

    Technician: “Standard operating procedures are hard habits to break?”

    Me: “I’ll buy it. I have to pee anyway.”

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