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    Category: Technology

    They’re All Irresponsible For This

    | WA, Australia | Bizarre/Silly, Bosses & Owners, Coworkers, Language & Words, Technology

    (I work as a general staff member at a university. My department constantly has to liaise with the enrollment department to ensure both sides are up to date with all procedures. Colleague #1, in the enrollments department, and I are noted to be the youngest employees in the University as we are in our very early 20s. Both of our departments are very relaxed and good natured with each other.)

    Me: *walking in and seeing a manager in the enrollment team’s room* “Um, can I interrupt?”

    Manager: “Sure.”

    Me: “I need help. I am looking for a responsible adult.”

    (There is a short pause and the team and manager start laughing.)

    Manager: “Well, you’ve come to the wrong place.”

    Colleague #2: *still laughing* “Such a hopeless quest.”

    Colleague #3: “There is no one here that can help you then.”

    (Everyone starts to come down.)

    Me: “Oh, don’t worry. I am sure [Colleague #1] can help me.”

    Colleague #1: “Sure.”

    (Everyone starts laughing.)

    Colleague #2: “She’s the youngest here!”

    Manager: “It must be about technology.”

    Colleague #1: *with a big smile on her face* “How can I help you?”

    Me: “Oh, I just need help with this ‘interwebs’ thing.”

    (The manager is now cracking up.)

    Colleague #3: “See, it was a technology thing! I don’t even know what that is.”

    Colleague #4: “Interwebs? What is that?”

    Me: “Um, it’s another way to say Internet that will confuse people.”

    (There was a short bout of silence before Colleague #3 and #4 cracked up about the ‘interwebs’)

    Stuff That Website

    | UK | Employees, Technology

    (I’m walking past a popular toy store where kids get to pick out the toy the want, stuff it, and dress it. The store is currently running a My Little Pony line of toys. I dart just inside the entrance to take a quick look.)

    Worker: “Hello! How can I help you?”

    Me: “Oh, no, don’t worry! I thought this toy was [Pony I Want], but it’s really [Other Pony]. I don’t think [Pony I Want] is out in Europe yet, anyway.”

    Worker: “Oh, that one! That’s an online exclusive! It’s very sought-after; we’ve sold loads!”

    Me: “Erm… you have an online store?”

    Worker: “Yeah!”

    Me: “… isn’t [Store]‘s whole gimmick that you get to pick out and stuff the toy? How does that work if you order it?”

    Worker: “We send it pre-stuffed!”

    Me: “So, you have an online store that completely ignores the reason the store exists?”

    Worker: “Er… I suppose so?”

    Can’t Quite Pin Down That Line Of Thinking

    | Pasadena, MD, USA | Employees, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I’m a manger in my store and every manager has their own alarm code so the company knows who turns on/off the alarm. After working nine days in a row, my brain is fried and I have forgotten my code number. After having the store manager close the store I call the alarm company to get my code.)

    Alarm Tech: “Thank you for calling [Company]. How may I help you?”

    Me: “I am calling about my alarm system.”

    Alarm Tech: “Is there a problem with the alarm?”

    Me: “Actually there’s a problem with me, I can’t seem to remember my alarm code.”

    Alarm Tech: *chuckle* “Okay, we can help with that. Now can I have your four-digit pin?”

    Me: “Um, you mean the pin for the alarm?”

    Alarm Tech: “Yes, that’s the one.”

    Me: “The alarm code I am calling to get because I don’t remember it?”

    Alarm Tech: “Yes, if you can just confirm your pin, we can continue from here.”

    Me: “You want me to give you my pin that I don’t remember, so you can then just repeat my pin number back to me?”

    Alarm Tech: *silence*

    Me: “Could you give it to another manager, who can then give it to me?”

    Alarm Tech: “I think that may be best.”

    (I hand the phone to my store manager, who gives his pin and then gives me mine. Not sure how the tech thought asking me for the pin I forgot was going to work.)

    A Minor Business Flaw

    | NJ, USA | Job Seekers, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (I am fresh out of tech school and looking for a job. I apply to everything I can find that has ‘computer’ in the job title. While some of the interviews are doomed from the start, looking for ’5-10 years’ experience’ with software that was barely two years old or something, this one really takes the cake. I am in the lobby while I and the other gentleman for an interview are waiting to get called in.)

    Me: “Man, I’m kinda nervous about this.”

    Him: “Yeah, it’s sorta exciting though, isn’t it? Breaking into the business!”

    Me: “Well yeah, it’s just a little intimidating, every place I’ve been to so far has sprung up some new, crazy ‘requirement’ that was never mentioned before come the interview.”

    Him: “I know, right? I mean I just got my BA in Computer Sciences, and so many places disrespect that!”

    Me: “Wait, Computer “Sciences? Programming, networking or hardware?”

    Him: “No, just general theory.”

    Me: “Oh. You know this job is for a junior software engineer, right?”

    Him: “Oh yeah, yeah! I messed around with some V-Basic too, I should be good.”

    (I specifically knew this job required knowledge of C++, Visual Basic, database management and several other complicated systems, all of which were part of my tech-school training. Then I go into the interview, only to be told that it wasn’t a “requirement” but it would have been “helpful” if I also had “at least a minor in business”. Guess what mister I-can’t-even-program-a-login-screen had?)

    It Will Click For Him One Day

    | The Netherlands | Bosses & Owners, Ignoring/Inattentive, Technology

    (I’m a UI designer. I sketch wireframes of screens before they get implemented in our software. I’m just on my way out, when I run into my boss.)

    Boss: “Hey, still here? You know what’s funny?”

    Me: “I was just about to leave, but… tell me?”

    Boss: “You know that [Sales Rep] and I tend to work late, and sit here after office hours? We have discussions sometimes, you know, and we come up with the most funky things! Good things happen. You won’t believe it!”

    (This announcement is going nowhere, but I know my boss and just nod understandingly. He goes on to make his point:)

    Boss: “You know, just last evening, we were sitting here, and [Coworker] just showed us this software you designed, and it looked really good! It was really nice!”

    (I can’t believe Coworker has implemented the screens yet, as we have discussed the revisions only this morning and he is very strict in his work. Still, my boss keeps saying how ‘funky’ and ‘nice’ it was.)

    Me: “I cannot really believe [Coworker] has implemented them yet. But eh, maybe he started already… so… thanks for liking it.”

    Boss: “I can show it to you right away. He’s still in the office!” *runs off and taps [Coworker] on the shoulder*

    Boss: “Hey, [Coworker]! Show her the screens!”

    Coworker: “Those weren’t screens. Those were the sketched wireframes.”

    Boss: “But it was there and all… and you clicked it… you made it click! It clicked!”

    Coworker: “Really can’t be. Those were really only the wireframes.”

    Boss: “But it clicked…”


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