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    Category: Technology

    Never Cover The Netherlands

    , | Italy | Geography, Ignoring/Inattentive, Technology

    (I live abroad for work reasons. During a holiday in my home country, my girlfriend and I go to a shopping mall. She enters a clothing store and I wait for her outside. Just in front of the store there is a stand of a phone and Internet company, known to have insistent salespeople.)

    Agent: *to me* “Sir, are you interested in our calls and broadband offers?”

    Me: “No, thank you.”

    Agent: “But we have—” *insert rant about mega-speed internet access and cheap long distance calls*

    Me: “As I said, thank you but I’m not interested. Anyway, where I live I’m not even covered by your service.”

    Agent: “That’s impossible!”

    Me: “Oh, believe me; I’m not covered by your service.”

    Agent: “That’s what you think, but you’ll be surprised!”

    Me: “If you like I can try to sign up. But mind that I’m 100% sure I’m not under your coverage.”

    Agent: “Well done, sir, you won’t be disappointed!

    (He explains all the plans and helps me to find a suitable one.)

    Agent: “So, what’s your landline number, starting with the area code?”

    Me: “It’s +31…”

    Agent: “Sorry?”

    Me: “My area code is +31.”

    Agent: *confused* “+31… but that sounds like an international area code.”

    Me: “It is. I live in the Netherlands.”

    Agent: “Is that a joke?”

    Me: *welcoming my girlfriend and walking away* “I told you I was not under your coverage!”

    Agent: *incoherent muttering*

    Requires A Wii Bit Of An Explanation

    | OH, USA | Coworkers, Language & Words, Rude & Risque, Technology

    (I’m about to go get dinner with a coworker. Since I’ll be going home after, I have my backpack with me. I have a Wii packed in it, after forgetting it at a friend’s house. As we’re walking out, I realize I forgot something.)

    Me: “Oh, s***! [Coworker], hold my Wii!” *runs off*

    Coworker: “Hold your WHAT?!”

    The Post Snail-Mail Generation

    , | CA, USA | Employees, Technology

    (I work in a call center at a help desk for a bank, assisting representatives with problems and doing research. Often we get asked how systems work or how to find something. I’m in Colorado; the person calling is in California.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Company] help desk. This is [My Name]. How can I help today?”

    Teller: “I’m trying to write a letter in Google but it’s not letting me.”

    Me: “What do you mean, you’re trying to write a letter in Google?”

    Teller: “I’m trying to write a letter to go with a check we’re returning to the client, but Google won’t let me do it.”

    Me: “You need to use a word processor, not Google.”

    Teller: “But I can type. Why won’t it let me write a letter?”

    Me: “Let me just write that letter for you.”

    Teller: “Then how will I get it? Will you drop it on my desk?”

    Me: “I can email it to you.”

    Teller: “Then how will the client get it?”

    Me: “You can print it off and mail it to them with the check.”

    Teller: “How do I mail a letter?”

    (It just kept going like this for 10 minutes. Sadly, this is not the first or last time I’ve had to explain how to mail a letter.)

    A Portrait Of A Stupid Landscape

    | Cincinnati, OH, USA | Extra Stupid, New Hires, Technology

    (The senior partner’s nephew works for us as a copy clerk for the summer and the fact that this kid got into college HAS TO have something to do with Uncle Senior Partner. This kid is AMAZINGLY stupid. One day the copier, which has three trays (8-1/2″ x 11″, 8-1/2″ x 14″ and 11″ x 8-1/2″)  runs out of paper in that third drawer. I walk by as he is looking mystified at the supply cabinet where all the paper is labeled either 8-1/2″ x 11″ or 8-1/2″ x 14″. I see the blinking light on the copier and knew what the problem is: it was out of 11″ x 8-1/2 paper.)

    Me: “What’s the problem?”

    Young Employee: “We don’t have the paper the copier wants.”

    (I picked up a packet of the 8-1/2″ x 11″)

    Me: “Look, we can MAKE SOME.” *turns the paper on its side*

    Young Employee: “Whoa, that’s FAR OUT!”

    Not So Smart Phone, Part 9

    | Indonesia | Employees, Technology

    (My aunt is from a small village, married at young age, and looks younger than me even though she is seven years older. She has two sons, aged three and ten. She is about to get her first smartphone and I accompany her and her sons to buy it at our local store. We have just checked some phones and I try to explain to her some features. A young male employee approaches us.)

    Employee: “Hi, young lady!” *smiles at my aunt* “We have the newest advanced smartphones that will make your classmates envy, just right here.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I think we are fine.”

    Employee: *completely ignoring me* “Look at this new smartphone.” *points to the most expensive phone in the store*  “You even can play YouTube in HD without need to wait for the buffer.”

    (I giggle, since I know my aunt doesn’t even understand what YouTube, HD, or buffer are. And his explanation is still incorrect since that all depends on the connection speed.)

    My Aunt: “I’m so sorry; I think I’m fine with my niece. Thank you.”

    (At the same time one of my cousin runs to my aunt and call her ‘Mommy.’)

    Employee: *wide his mouth for seconds then scream* “WHAT THE H*** IS GOING ON HERE? DON’T LIE TO ME! GIRLS AT YOUR AGE CAN’T HAVE A NIECE AND CHILD YET!”

    (Due to his loud voice, my cousin starts crying and my aunt carries him to outside the store.)

    Me: *looking furiously at the employee* “What the h*** are you talking about?!”

    Employee: “DON’T LIE TO ME! I GOOGLE EVERYTHING! I KNOW GIRLS AT HER AGE CAN’T HAVE A NIECE AND CHILD!”

    (This time, one of the other coworkers finally comes over, and seems to want to try to cool the situation, but I am too angry.)

    Me: “This is the most stupid thing I’ve ever heard.” *to his coworker* “Please inform this to your higher-ups, and don’t let this stupidity ruin your store image.” *to the employee* “I don’t know what else to say, except maybe don’t believe everything you read on the Internet!”

    Related:
    Not-So-Smart-Phone, Part 8
    Not-So-Smart-Phone, Part 7
    Not-So-Smart-Phone, Part 6


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