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  • Category: Themed Giveaway

    Acting Shifty About The Shift

    | Canada | Bosses & Owners, Coworkers, Liars/Scammers, Themed Giveaway

    (It’s a busy day, and my coworker calls in to say she will be unable to come in for her shift. This is the third time in two weeks she’s dropped a shift.)

    Coworker: “I locked my keys in my car, and have no other way of getting to work, so I can’t come in today.”

    Manager: “Did you call AMA?”

    Coworker: “Yeah. They said they can’t come out today because my small town is too far. I called a towing company too, but I can’t afford their rates.”

    Manager: “Huh. That’s weird. I guess I’ll start trying to find someone to cover your shift.”

    (Instead of trying to get the shift covered, my manager calls AMA to confirm that they won’t come to my coworker’s town. It turns out they have a service centre located there, and would be willing to go unlock my coworker’s car. My manager calls the coworker back.)

    Manager: “Hi. So I called AMA, and it turns out they’re located in your town. So they can come get your keys out of your car. Maybe I talked to a different person than you did. Anyways, I can call them back and have them come to you; I just need your address.”

    Coworker: “I’m not comfortable giving you my address.”

    Manager: “Okay… well, have the towing company come then. You can have them forward the bill to me, and I’ll pay it. I really need you at work right now because it’s busy.”

    Coworker: “I’m not comfortable with you paying for that.”

    Manager: “Well, then I’ll charge it to our store. They’d be okay with helping you get to work. We need you here.”

    Coworker: “I’m not comfortable with that either.”

    Manager: “Do you have anybody that could give you a ride in?”

    Coworker: “No.”

    Manager: “What if I call you a cab? I’ll pay for it now, and you can pay me back later.”

    Coworker: “You’re being really pushy! I’m not comfortable with any of this!”

    Manager: “I just offered you multiple suggestions for getting to work, all at no cost to you. At our store, employees do everything in their power to show up for shifts because it’s not fair to the other people working when you don’t. Now somebody will have to work overtime to cover your a**. I’m not going to ‘push’ you any further on this, but if you ditch another shift this month, you’re fired.”

    (The coworker continued not coming in for her shifts, but quit before the manager had a chance to fire her.)

    This Is Not A High Note

    | London, England, UK | Bosses & Owners, Liars/Scammers, Money, Themed Giveaway

    (It’s the interval, so we’re busy behind the bar. I witness an exchange between a patron and a colleague. The patron is brandishing a £5 note.)

    Patron: “Young man, you’ve short changed me! I gave you a £20 note!”

    Colleague: “Are you sure, ma’am? Your change was £14; I would have given you a £10 note and coins. You’ve got a £10 note right there; are you sure that’s not the one I gave you?”

    Patron: “This is what you’ve given me! Give me my money back! This is terrible service!”

    (Not sure what to do, my colleague calls over a senior assistant for help. She opens his till.)

    Senior Assistant: “Give the patron what she wants.”

    (My colleague reluctantly hands the woman a further £5.)

    Colleague: “Here’s your money; sorry about the mix-up.”

    Patron: “Well? Aren’t you going to apologize?”

    Colleague: “Excuse me?”

    Patron: “You should apologize to me for giving such terrible service!”

    Colleague: “Uh… I’m sorry.”

    Patron: “No, you’re not. This is the worst service I’ve ever had at a bar!”

    (When we cash up at the end of the night, surprise surprise, the till is £5 down. So not only was this woman rude and abrasive, but she was a thief as well. The kicker? Our manager said that we should have waited until after cashing up to see whether or not we should have given her any money… and the senior assistant who told us to agreed!)

    Their Jobs Are As Stuffed As Their Crusts

    | Atlanta, GA, USA | Bosses & Owners, Food & Drink, Liars/Scammers, Themed Giveaway

    (Business has been slow lately due to the opening of another, candidly better pizza place across the highway, and I’ve got a pretty good idea that we’ll be going out of business soon. I go to talk to my boss about it.)

    Me: “Hey [Boss], you know I see all the receipts when I close, so I’ve got a pretty good idea where we stand.”

    Boss: “Yeah, it’s not been good lately. But we’ll pull through!”

    Me: “Okay, but if we ever did have to close down, I’d appreciate it if you’d let me know in advance. I won’t leave you in the lurch, and I promise to stick around to help you close out, but I’d like to at least have the warning so I can figure out my next move.”

    Boss: “Sure thing. I’ll give you at least a couple of weeks warning.”

    Me: “Thanks, I appreciate it.”

    (Literally two weeks later, I get a call from a buddy at the comic book store next door.)

    Friend: “Hey, what’s with the moving van in front of the pizza place?”

    Me: “What? I don’t know, but I’m going to find out.”

    (I call the store. My boss answers.)

    Me: “Hey [Boss], what’s with the moving truck in front of the place?”

    Boss: “Oh, ah, well, after seeing the receipts for last night I knew we couldn’t keep going, so…”

    Me: “So you managed to somehow decide to close down, go get a moving truck, and start taking everything out of the store all in the same day?”

    Boss: “Um, yeah.”

    (Irritated, I call up the other employees and we go down to make sure we get our final paychecks. The boss pays us in cash, and we part ways. A few days later, I get another call from my friend at the comic book store.)

    Friend: “Hey, you should come down here. We’ve got a bunch of cops here looking for [Boss]!”

    Me: “What?! Why?”

    Friend: “Well, apparently when he moved out, he took the pizza oven and a bunch of other stuff with him, and they were on lease from [Pizza Chain's] home office!”

    (The pizza oven in question? It weighed over a thousand pounds and I was certain that it had no wheels. I have no idea how in the world he managed to get it out of there or who the heck would buy it!)

    Let Sleeping Dogs Lie

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Employees, Liars/Scammers, Pets & Animals, Themed Giveaway

    Telemarketer: “Hello there, I am calling to see if you would like a free consultation on home alarms.”

    Me: “No thanks.”

    Telemarketer: “Are you sure? What happens if a robber breaks into your house?”

    Me: “I will deal with that situation if and when it happens.”

    Telemarketer: “Are you sure? I would get an alarm if I were you. A robber broke into my house last month and stole my dog!”

    Me: “What kind of dog was it?”

    Telemarketer: “…what?”

    Me: “The robber stole your dog, right? What kind of dog was it?”

    Telemarketer: “Oh, it was a pug!”

    Me: “What was its name?”

    Telemarketer: “…what?”

    Me: “What. Was. Its. Name?”

    Telemarketer: “Uh…”

    Me: “I know you are reading off a script, so let me give you advice: if you are going to lie, come up with something believable and be ready to back your story up!”

    Telemarketer: “Hey, wow thanks! So… can I sign you up for a consultation to defend your house from a robber who might steal your dog?”

    Me: *click*

    October Themed Story Giveaway Reminder: Liars & Scammers!

    | Not Always Working | Announcements, Liars/Scammers, Themed Giveaway
    Want to win A Not Always Working t-shirt?
    Enter October’s Themed Story Giveaway: Liars & Scammers!

    Entering is as easy as 1-2-3:

    1. Submit a funny or interesting story about lying/scamming employees, coworkers, or bosses!
    2. Enter your email address in the form to qualify.
    3. All posted stories will be entered in a drawing to win a free t-shirt gift certificate, to use in the official Not Always Working shop!

    PS: winners will be announced the first Wednesday of every month. Next free t-shirt gift certificate: Wednesday, November 6!


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