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  • Swearing You Into A Job
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  • Category: Themed Giveaway

    Double The Price, Half The IQ

    | Birmingham, England, UK | At The Checkout, Employees, Extra Stupid, Themed Giveaway

    (I’m buying a jacket, priced at £55. The cashier rings up my purchase.”

    Cashier: “That’s £110, please.”

    Me: “Oh, the tag says £55.”

    Cashier: “Oh yes! I scanned it twice!”

    Me: *after waiting a few seconds* “So?”

    Cashier: “So that’s £110, please!”

    Me: “It should be £55. You’ve charged for two.”

    Cashier: “I scanned it twice.”

    Me: “I know. You’re charging me for two jackets, but I only have one.”

    Cashier: “Oh. OH! Do you want me to get you another jacket?”

    Me: “Thank you, but I think you’d better get me a supervisor instead.”

    (Unfortunately the supervisor was just as confused as the cashier!)

    No Contacts And Updated Contact

    | Surrey, England, UK | Employees, Health & Body, Ignoring/Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful, Themed Giveaway

    (I wear contacts. A couple of years ago when moving house from near Scotland to southeast England, I made sure to change my details with my opticians. I also called up their central office, because apparently you can’t change your delivery address in-store. Nevertheless, my contacts didn’t arrive when they were supposed to. I ring up customer service.)

    Employee #1: “Hi. How can I help you?”

    Me: “Hi. I’m calling because I haven’t received my contact lenses. I moved house recently, but definitely changed my details. My current address is [address].”

    Employee #1: “Yes, it looks like we still have your previous address on file. You know, you have to call up and change it specifically.”

    Me: “I did. I—”

    Employee #1: “—and it’s not the same as just calling up your local opticians! Now, we can’t send you a new set just because you forgot to change your address. You’ll have to go to your old place and pick them up.”

    Me: “I can’t. I live at the opposite end of the country. I definitely ch—”

    Employee #1: “Well, we can’t send you any more. You have to get them yourself or do without.”

    Me: “Listen. I went into a branch to change my address, and they gave me a card to call up and change my contact lens details. If they weren’t the right people to call, then who on Earth do I need to call to change my delivery address?”

    Employee #1: “Oh, you called and changed your address? It mustn’t have changed in the system. I’ll send you a new pack out.”

    (A couple of years on, I’m moving house again. As soon as I move, I call to change my address. Lo and behold, my contact lenses don’t turn up.)

    Me: “Hi. I’m calling because I haven’t received my contacts. I moved house recently, and made sure to call up the contact lens department and change my delivery address with them.”

    Employee #2: “Ah, you changed your address? We’ll send you some more out. Sorry about that. Can I take your new address?”

    Me: “It’s [address].”

    (A few weeks pass. No contact lenses arrive.)

    Me: “Hi. I called a couple of weeks ago because my contacts hadn’t arrived. I was told I would be send some more, but I haven’t got them yet. My address should be [address].”

    Employee: “Ah. This is embarrassing. The address doesn’t seem to have been changed. Can we run through them all?”

    (They had no fewer than five addresses on system for me, not one of them my current address. Finally, a week later, my contacts finally arrived!)

    Don’t Count On A Student Discount

    , | France | At The Checkout, Employees, School, Themed Giveaway

    (In my university, student cards are magnetic and quite expensive to make. In order not to make us pay for a new one every year, they simply put a sticker stating the current school year above the former one. I’m currently in my second year. I’m at the checkout of a sub shop, different from the location I usually go to.)

    Cashier: “What will it be with your sandwich?”

    Me: “I’ll have a student price meal please, with soda and a cookie.”

    Cashier: “Sure thing. Can I just see your student card, please?”

    (I show my card, thinking she’ll just look at it like they do in the location I usually go to. Instead, she takes it from my hand and frowns.)

    Cashier: “Do you think you can fool me?”

    (She angrily peels off the “2013-2014″ sticker from my card, while I open big eyes.)

    Me: “Wait, please don—”

    Cashier: “Do you think you can just put on a sticker on your old card and still get student prices?”

    Me: “Wait, that sticker is from the university… You can see that the font and color match. Do you think I’d go through such trouble for €1 off a meal? Please, put it back in place…”

    (Instead, she just wipes the sticker off on her apron, then hands me back my card and presses a few keys on her register.)

    Cashier: “That will be full price for you.”

    Me: “Thank you for making my card invalid. Here’s your money. Thanks for nothing.”

    (I leave with my full price meal and go to my university in the afternoon. Thankfully, they didn’t mind putting a new sticker on my card. Since then, I always went to my usual location.)

    Can’t Get Pasteurized Past Her Eyes

    | Jerusalem, Israel | Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Themed Giveaway

    (My wife is a big fan of specialty cheeses, and she likes when I surprise her with new ones she’s never tried before. She’s currently pregnant, so I need to be careful not to buy her unpasteurized cheese.)

    Me: *pointing to a random cheese I’ve never heard of* “Is that cheese pasteurized?”

    Deli Worker: “It’s goat cheese.”

    Me: “Yes, but is it pasteurized?”

    Deli Worker: “It’s goat cheese.”

    Me: “I know it’s goat cheese. I’m asking if it’s pasteurized or not.”

    Deli Worker: *stares blankly*

    Me: “Some cheeses are pasteurized, others aren’t. I need to know if that one is or not.”

    Deli Worker: “I don’t know what ‘pasteurized’ is. It’s goat cheese.”

    (I give up and just buy some brie, because unlike most of the cheeses in the display I could read its ingredient label through the glass. How somebody who’s been selling cheeses for years doesn’t know what pasteurization means, I have no idea!)

    The Drugs Don’t Work, They Just Make It Worse

    | Keego Harbor, MI, USA | Employees, Health & Body, Ignoring/Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful, Themed Giveaway

    (I’ve been having tremendous pain in my ankle for a year. I’ve been seeing an orthopedic surgeon for this entire span of time. He initially misdiagnoses the problem as a sprained ankle. After six months of excruciating pain, he sends me for X-Rays, which show a six-month old fracture. Three months later, the pain is just getting worse and worse, so he recommends I have an MRI done. I get the MRI and return to his office with the report, showing multiple effusions, a torn tendon, and a second tendon that is possibly torn. The swelling is so prominent, that the second tendon isn’t visible from any angle. I go see my orthopedic surgeon again.)

    Me: “So, here’s the report showing at least one torn tendon.”

    Orthopedic Surgeon: “Yeah. What do you expect me to do about it?”

    Me: “Well, after seeing you for a year, ANYTHING! Do ANYTHING!”

    Orthopedic Surgeon: “Well, you should go see somebody who specializes in ankles.”

    Me: “You’re an orthopedic surgeon. You can’t treat this?”

    Orthopedic Surgeon: “Nope.”

    Me: “Can you recommend somebody?”

    Orthopedic Surgeon: “Oh, I’m sure you can find somebody online.”

    Me: “Or I can ask a trained professional who went through medical school and works in the field to recommend somebody who he has heard good things about.”

    Orthopedic Surgeon: “I don’t know anybody.”

    Me: “Fine. Do something. Do anything. Give me restrictions from work. Give me painkillers. Do anything.”

    Orthopedic Surgeon: “Well, whoever you see after can recommend that.”

    Me: “A year. I’ve been seeing you for a year. Your misdiagnosis led to serious damage. You’ve wasted a year of my life. You’ve kept me in excruciating pain for A YEAR. You are going to do SOMETHING today. NOW.”

    Orthopedic Surgeon: “Fine. I’ll write you a script for Vicodin.”

    Me: “No. I’ve told you before, Vicodin does nothing for me. If I have to resort to narcotics, I’d rather not take those that are useless for me. I’d really rather have Tramadol. *an anti-inflammatory painkiller that is non-narcotic*

    Orthopedic Surgeon: “Okay.” *wanders away, returns about five minutes later with a prescription* Here. T”his is for nine days worth of Norco.”

    Me: “I’m not familiar with that medication. Tell me about it. It’s not in the same family as Vicodin, is it?”

    Orthopedic Surgeon: “No, no. Not at all. It’s more like codeine.”

    Me: “I can’t have Tramadol?”

    Orthopedic Surgeon: “No, this will be more helpful.”

    (I leave, still angry and go to the pharmacy to fill the prescription. And yes, folks, Norco is essentially Vicodin. I scheduled an appointment with a new orthopedic surgeon who immediately scheduled me for surgery and wrote me a prescription for Tramadol.)


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