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  • Swearing You Into A Job
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  • Category: Themed Giveaway

    March Themed Story Giveaway: The Customer Is Right!

    | Not Always Working | Announcements, Themed Giveaway
    Want to win A Not Always Working t-shirt?
    Enter March’s Themed Story Giveaway: The Customer Is Right!

    Entering is as easy as 1-2-3:

    1. Submit a funny or interesting story where the customer is right!
    2. Enter your email address in the form to qualify.
    3. All posted stories will be entered in a drawing to win a free t-shirt gift certificate, to use in the official Not Always Working shop!

    PS: Congratulations to a lucky reader for winning February’s Themed Story Giveaway, which featured stories about rude & risque behavior. The winning submission: Thinker, Failer, Soldier, Fly (1209 thumbs up).

    PS #2: winners will be announced the first Wednesday of every month. Next free t-shirt gift certificate: Wednesday, April 2!

    Turning The Air(waves) Blue

    | Pensacola, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Coworkers, Rude & Risque, Themed Giveaway

    (As my husband and I are checking out with a very friendly cashier, her radio beeps on, and we hear her coworkers speaking.)

    Coworker #1: “Hey, [Name]! Are you going to come help me with this customer or not?”

    Coworker #2: “I’m in firewood with someone.”

    Coworker #1: “My God, you light it on fire! Hurry up! D*** it!”

    (The cashier puts a hand over her mouth.)

    Cashier: “I am SO sorry you had to hear my coworker swear.”

    Me: “Oh, it’s fine. I’m sure—”

    Coworker #2: “Yeah, well, why don’t you tell my customer that, you a**?”

    Cashier: “I beg your pardon.”

    (She pulls her radio from her vest to speak into it.)

    Cashier: “Okay. Let’s be nice, children. MY customers don’t appreciate hearing you swear over the radio. Thanks.”

    Conversational Balls-Up

    | Grangemouth, Scotland, UK | Coworkers, Rude & Risque, Themed Giveaway

    (The store is quiet for an afternoon. We are looking over the department lottery, where I notice something strange on the sheet.)

    Me: “[Coworker], why is your name down twice?”

    Coworker: “Well, my husband wants to take part as well, but I’m bringing the money in for it anyway, so it’s easier if I just put mine down.”

    Me: “I guess that makes sense…”

    Coworker: *a little excitedly* “Yep, so I’ve got two balls!”

    (Almost immediately, she realised what she said loud enough that a few customers and coworkers turned round. She hid in the corner and refused to come out for a few minutes while I was bent over in laughter!)

    Hold Tight When Freudian Slipping

    | Chattanooga, TN, USA | Employees, Rude & Risque, Themed Giveaway

    (I’m at the bank, where the teller is recounting my deposit to verify its accuracy, but she has difficulties taking the paper wrap off a bundle of one dollar bills.)

    Me: “Uh-oh, did I wrap it too tight? I’m sorry!”

    Teller: “Just a little, but that’s okay! Better to be tight than loose!”

    (Her coworker beside her bursts out laughing and I fail to suppress a giggle. The teller looks confused for a moment before she realizes what she’s said.)

    Teller: “Well, it’s true!”

    Outspoken Speaker

    | London, England, UK | Coworkers, Rude & Risque, Technology, Themed Giveaway

    (I work in the office of a very large supermarket. Across the room from me are two very chatty colleagues, whose job it is to page customers and employees and make store-wide announcements. They have just finished announcing a sale we are having to the whole store, and then start gossiping between themselves again.)

    Coworker #1: “Did you hear what happened to [Name]?”

    Coworker #2: “I did! His girlfriend caught him looking at porn!”

    Coworker #1: “And he was naked and everything!”

    (The conversation then descends into a very graphic description of what kind of porn this guy had been looking at. Suddenly, my phone rings. Before I can even speak the manager is screaming down the phone at me.)

    Manager: “Can you please tell those yabbering potty-mouths to remember to turn OFF the f****** microphone! I’ve got parents screaming over it so their kids can’t hear any more!”

    (I looked over at the two coworkers, who were still nattering away. I was tempted to wait a few seconds more before I calmly revealed to them that every single employee and customer in the store was now privy to their dirty conversation.)

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