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  • Good To Sell Until Hell Freezes Over
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  • Category: Time

    Try It A Second Time

    | Italy | Employees, Lazy/Unhelpful, Time

    (A sandblaster has been ordered to sandblast 600 tubes from both ends. Each tube needs to be ‘blasted’ for 5 seconds, thus the job ought to take at least an hour. Twenty minutes later, the sandblaster leaves the cabin and starts taking off his gear.)

    Foreman: “What happened? Something’s wrong?”

    Sandblaster: “No, I’m finished.”

    Foreman: “What do you mean you’re finished? Did you blast both ends?”

    Sandblaster: “Yeah.”

    Foreman: “Did you count five seconds per tube?”

    Sandblaster: “Yeah.”

    Foreman: “Then there’s no way you can be finished. Get back in and start over.”

    Sandblaster: “It’s not my fault I count seconds fast!”

    Lack Of Military Intelligence

    | FL, USA | Coworkers, Time

    (This particular restaurant is open nearly 24 hrs so to alleviate confusion the schedule is written in military time. My roommate and main insider struggles with this, so I have grown accustomed to answering questions about the schedule by reading it as it is and then translating it to 12hr for her. I am talking to a another employee.)

    Employee: “What time am I scheduled to work on Monday?”

    Me: “1900 hours. So that will be 7 pm.”

    Employee: “…”

    Me: “Uh…sorry, habit. Soooo… what did you say you did in Iraq, again?”

    How To Inflate That They’re Late

    | The Netherlands | Employees, Food & Drink, Time

    (I’ve ordered takeaway from a restaurant by phone. I’ve been told it would take about 20 minutes. It’s just around the corner so after 20 minutes I go to fetch my food.)

    Me: “Hi. I ordered on the phone.”

    Waiter: “You’re late.”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Waiter: “I’ve got your order here, but you’re late.”

    Me: “I thought it was going to take 20 minutes.”

    (By now, it’s been 25 minutes.)

    Waiter: “Yes, and you are late. You’re lucky we were nice enough to keep it warm for you, or you’d be eating cold food.”

    Me: “… Okay, thanks.”

    Waiter: “Next time, don’t be late!”

    Another Kind Of Sleeping With The Boss

    | England, UK | Bosses & Owners, Time

    (I work 24-hour IT support. I have office-normal hours, and then have a mobile with me for the rest of the day. After a busy night I wake up when I am supposed to be at work, so I send an SMS to my manager.)

    Me: “Calls at 3:30 and 6:30, so slept through alarms. Be there about 9:20.”

    (After about 10 minutes I received a response.)

    Manager: “Haha… snap! Cat fight and sick crisis at 3 am. Slept through alarms. Will get there ASAP.”

    (Turns out I’d woken him up with my text saying I’d slept in!)

    Perhaps Management Is Not Their Calling

    | MI, USA | Bosses & Owners, Ignoring/Inattentive, Time

    (It’s company policy that if you’re going to call out of a shift you have to call at least an hour before the time you were supposed to come in and inform a manager. I am scheduled for a 10 am shift; however, I get sick and call out.)

    Coworker: “Thank you for calling [Store]. How can I help you?”

    Me: “Hey, [Coworker]. It’s me. I need to call out. What manager is there right now?”

    Coworker: “Actually… no one. It’s weird. We have someone scheduled but no one showed. Let me get you my supervisor though.”

    Me: “Huh. Okay, thanks.”

    Supervisor: “Hey, [My Name]. Not feeling good?”

    Me: “Not at all.”

    Supervisor: “Okay, well, the manager’s not here yet. Can you call back at 8 am? They should be here by then and you’ll still be within your hour.”

    (I wait to call back even though I am physically sick and exhausted.)

    Me: “Hey. It’s me again. Did the manager make it in yet?”

    Coworker: “Nope. We called him, but got nothing.”

    Me: “Okay. I’ll try again in like half an hour.”

    (Half an hour passes, but there is still nothing. By now I only have half an hour before I have to inform a manager. I call three more times and the manager is never there. Eventually I fall asleep. My phone rings at noon.)

    Manager: “Where are you? You were supposed to work today. You’re two hours late!”

    Me: “Boss, I called six times. [Coworker] and [Supervisor] can both tell you. I’m sick. I won’t be coming in.”

    Manager: “You didn’t let me know at least an hour before your shift. You’ll have a write up tomorrow.”

    Me: “Boss, what time did you get in?”

    Manager: “Just now.”

    Me: “So you came in at noon instead of seven. You were late, right?”

    Manager: “Yeah.”

    Me: “Then how was I supposed to tell you by nine am that I wasn’t coming in?”

    Manager: “You could have called!”

    (I still got the write up.)


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