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    Category: Time

    Arriving In The Hour Of Need

    | USA | Bosses & Owners, Time

    (I get to work on time and head to my assigned register when I notice that the owner is working the register instead of my coworker.)

    Me: “Good morning. [Coworker] out sick today?

    Owner: “No, I had you scheduled for opening.”

    Me: “Did you? I was 99% sure the schedule said nine am, not eight am.”

    (The owner double-checks the schedule and sure enough, I was scheduled in at nine am. instead of eight am. although he needed me at eight am. The following week, I see I’m scheduled at nine am again, but upon closer inspection I notice no one is scheduled to open.)

    Me: “Hey, Boss, does nine am secretly mean eight am again?”

    Owner: “…Yes.”

    Master Of Space And Time Sheets

    | New Zealand | Coworkers, Liars/Scammers, Time

    (I am printing out the timesheets for the staff payroll when I am lucky enough to have this conversation:)

    Me: “Hi, [Staff Member], it says here that you did a total of 26 hours on your timesheet for one day.”

    Staff Member: “Yep, that sounds about right.”

    Me: “So, you did a 12-hour day on Tuesday, then an 8-hour job, a 10-hour job, and another 8-hour job, all on Wednesday, followed by another 12-hour day on Thursday?

    Staff Member: “Yep, we’re pretty busy…”

    Me: “So busy that you have worked out how to extend time? When do you sleep?”

    Staff Member: “Oh, I’m very careful to ensure I get eight hours a night.”

    Me: “Aha…”

    Needs An Application Of Listening

    | USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Ignoring/Inattentive, Time

    (I’m at a large department store fairly early in the day. My items are a little more expensive than I would like, but they offer a 20% discount if you sign up for a card. There’s only one cashier at the station I’m at, but two registers.)

    Manager: *passing by* “Hey, [Cashier], when you’re done with this customer, we need you at the front.”

    (The cashier looks extremely reluctant, but nods.)

    Cashier: “All right. As soon as I’m finished.” *turns to me* “It’s just going to take a few minutes more to finish signing you up for the card.”

    (At this point I’ve looked up the bus schedule on my very slow phone and realized I have ten minutes to get to the bus.)

    Me: “Actually, I kind of need to go. Could you cancel the card?”

    Cashier: “Oh, I’ve already run your credit card. With [Store Card] linked up to your bank account, your life will be a lot easier!”

    Me: “That’s great, but I’m running a little late.”

    Cashier: “This will only take a few more minutes. Can I have your bank account number?”

    Me: “What? No. I don’t want the card. I need to go.”

    Cashier: “It looks like there’s a problem. Hold on, let me call them.”

    Me: “Call who?”

    Cashier: “Sometimes we need to call them, sometimes we don’t. I think it depends on how busy it is. It’s not very busy now.”

    (I can see a line forming at the front station, which is clearly understaffed. A few other customers have wandered over and are waiting in line behind me.)

    Me: “Actually, it looks like it’s getting a little busy. Can I get the card later?”

    Cashier: *shushing me* “I’m on the phone.”

    (She talks for a few more minutes, while I try to find another employee to flag down so I can get my items and leave. Suddenly, she holds out the phone to me.)

    Cashier: “They want to talk to you.”

    (Reluctantly, I take the phone.)

    Me: “Hello?”

    Caller: “Hello, ma’am, I just wanted to confirm your application for the [Store Card]. You put down your income as [amount]; you do know this is yearly and not monthly, right?”

    (At this point I am a little annoyed; I don’t make a whole lot of money, and I’m buying clothes for a job interview right now.)

    Me: “Yes, but I actually don’t want the card.”

    Caller: “You don’t want the card? Then why did you call?”

    Me: “I didn’t. The cashier did. Can you cancel my card application, please?”

    Caller: “Of course, ma’am, but I just thought you should know that with [Store Card], you can get—”

    Me: *finally losing patience* “Great, thank you for cancelling the card application. Goodbye.”

    (I reach over and hang up the phone before the cashier can get to it again.)

    Cashier: “What happened?”

    Me: “I don’t want a store card. Did you pay for these items when I handed you my credit card, or should I give it back to you?”

    Cashier: “I’ll take it now. I’m very sorry about the wait. Sometimes they’re just so slow!”

    (She finally processes my payment. By this point, the line at front has dissipated a bit, so she turns to help the people who were behind me. Another cashier also steps up to help. I’m walking away, mentally writing it off as her having an off day, when I hear her talking to the other employee.)

    Cashier: “Oh, no, honey, that’s not how you do it. You must be new. Here, let me get this gentleman’s purchases, and you can watch me.” *to the other customer* “Would you like to sign up for a [Store Card] with us today?”

    A Global Imposition

    | Rochester, NY, USA | Employees, Lazy/Unhelpful, Time, Transportation

    (While in college I relied on trains to get to and from my home for breaks. I had a car, but didn’t trust the area of town the train station was, and instead elected to take taxis from campus to the station. On this occasion, I called for a taxi a few hours in advance to be sure they’d have time to reach me.)

    Me: *calling dispatcher* “Yeah, my taxi was supposed to show up about 15 minutes ago, and he’s still not here.”

    Dispatcher: “Well, he says he’s on his way.”

    Me: “Well, okay, but I have a train to catch, so this is kind of time sensitive.”

    Dispatcher: “I’ll let him know.”

    (Fifteen minutes later and still no taxi. I’m getting really anxious now as the grace period I left myself is running out, so I call again.)

    Dispatcher: “I’m sorry, miss, but all I can say is he’s on his way. I’ll try to contact him again.”

    (A few minutes later, my phone rings.)

    Driver: “Yeah, I’m just trying to find your apartment… it’s kind of hard.”

    Me: “My apartment is ON CAMPUS! On the academic side!”

    Driver: “Oh… OH! Okay! I gotcha. I’ll be there in a minute.”

    (Finally the cab pulls up and I all but throw my bags into the trunk.)

    Driver: “Sorry about the wait. What time is it, anyway?”

    Me: *noticing a GPS on his dashboard displaying the time* “It’s [time]. And you know, it says right there on your GPS.”

    Driver: “Oh, that thing. I never look at that.”

    (Well, maybe you should have, buddy! I almost missed my train!)

    Clocked Off For Good

    | MI, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Employees, Time

    (I manage the college campus coffee shop. One day, I notice one of the student workers going into the back room, where the time clock is located. She leaves moments later. Since she isn’t due to work that morning, I am curious, and I look at her time card. She has clocked in and left. I look back at past weeks, and determine that she had been clocking a few hours prior to most of her shifts for almost a month. I pull her time card, and leave a note for her to come see me.)

    Employee: “Hey, what’s up? I couldn’t find my time card, and your note didn’t say.”

    Me: “You clocked in a few hours ago, and then left.”

    Employee: “…and?”

    Me: “You falsified your record of hours worked, which constitutes fraud and theft. Since this has been going on for a month, the amount you’ve stolen is enough to count as a felony.”

    Employee: “Oh. So… is that a problem? I was short on money, and thought I’d get some extra hours.”

    Me: “Extra hours that you didn’t work?”

    Employee: “Yeah!”

    Me: “And you don’t see why that’s a problem?”

    Employee: “No, why?”

    Me: “Then you’re REALLY not going to expect what’s coming next.”

    (Since I’m a big softy, I just fired her, and didn’t bring the police into it.)

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