(I am in an interview at a second-hand clothing store, and I have just moved home from college.)

Interviewer: “So your job at [business]… why did you leave that position?”

Me: “Well, I went to college.”

Interviewer: “That’s no reason to quit a job. Why couldn’t you work and attend school?”

Me: “As you can see on my resume, my college was in Sudbury.”

Interviewer: “So? ”

Me: “…It’s a five hour drive north of here.”

Receptionist: “Okay, well that will be… hold on. It’s December 31st, right?”

Me: “Yeah.”

Receptionist: “Is there any reason you booked the appointment for today?”

Me: “Nah, I just knew my mom would be off work and able to take me, and I knew I’d be home from college.”

Receptionist: “Well, okay, so if you had waited until January 1st, our insurance would’ve flipped over and your appointment would have been covered. I’m really sorry they didn’t tell you that. Whoever booked your appointment should’ve said that. I’m going to just wait until tomorrow to enter this, just so you know, okay?”

Me: “Wait, seriously? Are you sure? It’s not going to mess up your records or anything?”

Receptionist: “Not at all. Whoever scheduled you should have let you know, so we’ll cover it. Have a good one!”

Mom: “Wow, that’s great.” *to me* “We should switch your brothers and dad to THIS practice!”

Coworker: “I hate working on Tuesday… that’s sign change night.”

Me: *joking* “Maybe I should tell [manager] that you’re bad at sign changes, so you’ll never be scheduled to work those nights!”

Coworker: “…but If I had every Tuesday off, I’d never get another day off.”

Me: “Sure you would. You always get two days off.”

Coworker: “Nuh-uh. I’ve been working five days every week.”

Me: “How many days do you think there are in a week?”

Coworker: “I know there’s seven days in a regular week, but not in our work week.”

Me: “…How?”

Coworker: “It’s from Sunday to Saturday.”

Me: “Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday… that’s seven days.”

Coworker: “Oh. I guess I get two days off, then…”

(I’ve quit my job, but tell my boss that I’m willing to be available in an emergency or for extra coverage. I’ve therefore been taken off the regular weekly schedule. However, one day my phone rings about five minutes after the daily shift change.)

Me: “Hello?”

Manager: “Hey, are you on your way?”

Me: “On my way?”

Manager: “Yeah, you’re scheduled to work today.”

Me: “I am?”

Manager: “Yeah… didn’t [assistant manager] tell you?”

Me: “No. I’m in [town 45 minutes away] right now.”

Manager: “Oh man… you’re kidding.”

Me: “I was just leaving, though. I guess I could be there in like an hour.”

Manager: “Oh, great!”

(A few minutes later my phone rings again.)

Manager: “Hey, I just wanted to let you know that I called [assistant manager] and told her the importance of letting you know when you’re scheduled to work!”

(I’ve submitted my notice on December 1 that my last day will be December 21st. On the 21st, I come by to turn in my uniform and collect my paycheck. As I do so, I happen to glance at the work schedule for the next week.)

Me: “Hey [boss], why do you have me scheduled to work Christmas Eve?  And Christmas day? And…” *flips page* “….New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day!?”

Boss: “You didn’t ask off!”

Me: “You’re right, I didn’t. Because I quit.”

Boss: “Hey if you don’t want to work a holiday you have to submit your off-time requests EARLY, you KNOW this.”

Me: “No I don’t… because I don’t work here anymore.”

Boss: “Look, if you don’t want to work your shifts, you need to find someone to cover for you!”

Me: “Or what? You’ll fire me?”

Boss: “You bet your butt!”

Me: “I DO NOT WORK HERE ANYMORE!”

Boss: “Find someone to cover your shifts if you want to skip work on a holiday. Good luck!”

(I turn to a customer who has been listening.)

Me: “Excuse me sir, will you cover my shift on Christmas Eve?”

Boss: “He doesn’t work here!”

Me: “NEITHER DO I!”

(I then left. She called me, furious, each and every day I was supposed to work, and ended up forcing one of her assistant managers to work the store alone on New Year’s Eve, promising I would be there. The assistant manager called me in tears and begged me to come in. That three hours of work screwed up my taxes for two years because the store manager reported it wrong.)