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    Category: Time

    How To Inflate That They’re Late

    | The Netherlands | Employees, Food & Drink, Time

    (I’ve ordered takeaway from a restaurant by phone. I’ve been told it would take about 20 minutes. It’s just around the corner so after 20 minutes I go to fetch my food.)

    Me: “Hi. I ordered on the phone.”

    Waiter: “You’re late.”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Waiter: “I’ve got your order here, but you’re late.”

    Me: “I thought it was going to take 20 minutes.”

    (By now, it’s been 25 minutes.)

    Waiter: “Yes, and you are late. You’re lucky we were nice enough to keep it warm for you, or you’d be eating cold food.”

    Me: “… Okay, thanks.”

    Waiter: “Next time, don’t be late!”

    Another Kind Of Sleeping With The Boss

    | England, UK | Bosses & Owners, Time

    (I work 24-hour IT support. I have office-normal hours, and then have a mobile with me for the rest of the day. After a busy night I wake up when I am supposed to be at work, so I send an SMS to my manager.)

    Me: “Calls at 3:30 and 6:30, so slept through alarms. Be there about 9:20.”

    (After about 10 minutes I received a response.)

    Manager: “Haha… snap! Cat fight and sick crisis at 3 am. Slept through alarms. Will get there ASAP.”

    (Turns out I’d woken him up with my text saying I’d slept in!)

    Perhaps Management Is Not Their Calling

    | MI, USA | Bosses & Owners, Ignoring/Inattentive, Time

    (It’s company policy that if you’re going to call out of a shift you have to call at least an hour before the time you were supposed to come in and inform a manager. I am scheduled for a 10 am shift; however, I get sick and call out.)

    Coworker: “Thank you for calling [Store]. How can I help you?”

    Me: “Hey, [Coworker]. It’s me. I need to call out. What manager is there right now?”

    Coworker: “Actually… no one. It’s weird. We have someone scheduled but no one showed. Let me get you my supervisor though.”

    Me: “Huh. Okay, thanks.”

    Supervisor: “Hey, [My Name]. Not feeling good?”

    Me: “Not at all.”

    Supervisor: “Okay, well, the manager’s not here yet. Can you call back at 8 am? They should be here by then and you’ll still be within your hour.”

    (I wait to call back even though I am physically sick and exhausted.)

    Me: “Hey. It’s me again. Did the manager make it in yet?”

    Coworker: “Nope. We called him, but got nothing.”

    Me: “Okay. I’ll try again in like half an hour.”

    (Half an hour passes, but there is still nothing. By now I only have half an hour before I have to inform a manager. I call three more times and the manager is never there. Eventually I fall asleep. My phone rings at noon.)

    Manager: “Where are you? You were supposed to work today. You’re two hours late!”

    Me: “Boss, I called six times. [Coworker] and [Supervisor] can both tell you. I’m sick. I won’t be coming in.”

    Manager: “You didn’t let me know at least an hour before your shift. You’ll have a write up tomorrow.”

    Me: “Boss, what time did you get in?”

    Manager: “Just now.”

    Me: “So you came in at noon instead of seven. You were late, right?”

    Manager: “Yeah.”

    Me: “Then how was I supposed to tell you by nine am that I wasn’t coming in?”

    Manager: “You could have called!”

    (I still got the write up.)

    Won’t Give Customers The Time Of Day

    | UT, USA | Coworkers, Ignoring/Inattentive, Time

    (I am chatting with a coworker from another department. She is closing up the front desk for the evening when the phone rings. She answers it and I silently wait.)

    Coworker: “Hello. This is [Department Name]. How can I help you? Sorry, sir, but we haven’t had anything like that turned in from [Other Department] today. Yes, sir. I would transfer you to them, but they close at 5:30 pm on weekdays.”

    (Both of us glance at the large analog clock on the wall in full view of both of us. It’s 4:30 pm. There’s a long, awkward pause.)

    Coworker: “Well, bye!”

    (She hangs up and goes back to counting her till. I stare at her, trying to keep from laughing.)

    Me: “So, 5:30 pm. Huh?”

    Coworker: “Yeah. He was looking for his wallet. He said he left it at the [Other Department]. Too bad he didn’t call a few minutes earlier.”

    Me: “…you realize what time it is? Right?”

    Coworker: “Yeah. It’s five—”

    (My coworker glances at the clock and stares at it for at least 10 seconds before going beet red.)

    Coworker: “S***! No wonder he went silent like that! And I just hung up on him! Now he’s going to think I’m an idiot! Why didn’t you say anything?!”

    Me: “I thought about saying something, but this was more entertaining.”

    Coworkers Become Divorced From Reality

    | Okemos, MI, USA | Coworkers, Crazy Requests, Time

    Coworker: “Hey [my name], I see you have Saturday off. Do you mind taking my shift?”

    Me: “I can’t. My brother is getting married on Saturday.”

    Coworker: “Do you have to stay for the entire thing?”

    Me: “Um… yes. It’s my brother’s wedding. I kinda have to stay…”

    Old Couples Become Divorced From Reality (Not Always Romantic)

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