(I’m allergic to tomatoes and peppers, and most relish/pickles have peppers in them.)

Me: “I’d like a burger but with no tomato or relish or pickles. Just lettuce, onions and mustard, please.”

Waitress: *confused* “Okay?”

Me: “I’m allergic to tomatoes and relish and pickles. All the other toppings are good.”

Waitress: “All right.”

(The burger arrives, and it has nothing on it; it’s just a patty on a bun.)

Me: “Hey, um, this burger is completely plain. Could I get it with mustard and onions on it?”

Waitress: “Uh, no.”

Me: “Why not?”

Waitress: “Well, my cousin is allergic to mustard, and onions are disgusting!”