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    How To Scare Away Customers

    | Canada | Bizarre/Silly, Employees, Zombies

    (I am looking through the selection of models at my local games workshop. It’s a very successful chain of stores that sells model soldiers for a miniature wargame. I’m currently looking at a rather gory and explicit undead model.)

    Me: “Wow, this guy is pretty gruesome!”

    (Note: I’m saying this quietly to myself in an excited tone because I like the model. Suddenly, the manager is right in front of me with a stern look on his face.)

    Manager: “Look pal, I can’t have you making disparaging remarks in my store.”

    Me: “Pardon?”

    Manager: “If a parent comes in looking to buy miniatures and hears you talking about how ‘gruesome’ they are, that could be a lost customer. If I lose customers, I can’t stay open, and that means my 300 regular players have nowhere to play.”

    Me: “I think there’s been a misunderstanding. This model is undead. He’s supposed to look gruesome and ghoully, so I was complimenting it. I was going to pick up one myself.”

    Manager: “Well, your comments are scaring away my customers, so just be quiet, okay?”

    Me: “Well, you’ve just scared off a potential customer yourself!”