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    Infinitely Loopy, Part 2

    | Bothell, WA, USA | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Lazy/Unhelpful, Technology, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (My office computer has crashed and I am unable to access systems critical to my job function. A teammate has filed a trouble ticket for me online. After a few minutes, we check the status and see the ticket has been assigned to the onsite IT Manager who is on vacation for the next two weeks. Unable to wait for his return to the office, I call the Helpdesk to have the ticket reassigned to a back-up IT Manager.)

    Helpdesk: “Thank you for calling IT Helpdesk. How may I assist you?”

    Me: “Yes, I need to have ticket number XXXX reassigned as the assigned IT Manager is out of the office.”

    Helpdesk: ”That ticket has already been assigned to [My IT Manager].”

    Me: “[My IT Manager] is on vacation for two weeks and I cannot wait for his return. I need my ticket reassigned to another IT Manager right away.”

    Helpdesk: ”[My IT Manager] has already been notified of this ticket’s assignment. He should be along shortly to resolve your issue. Is there anything else I can do for you today?”

    Me: ”Yes. I need that ticket reassigned to an IT Manager who is in the office. I cannot wait for [My IT Manager] to return.”

    Helpdesk: “That ticket has already been assigned.  Do you want me to escalate the severity status so the IT Manager is notified of the urgency? Would you like his phone number?”

    Me: “No, that will not work. I have his phone number but calling him will do no good as he is on vacation for two weeks. I need the ticket reassigned.”

    (This goes on for no less than ten minutes with the Helpdesk Representative repeatedly assuring me that my ticket has been assigned and offering the assigned IT Manager’s name and number. My teammates have been listening to my end of the conversation and have gathered around alternately laughing incredulously and offering me encouragement.)

    Me: “Look, I am trying to be as kind and patient as possible, yet I feel you are not listening to a word I am saying. Please provide me the name of [My IT Manager] back-up or the name of his supervisor so I can have the ticket reassigned.”

    Helpdesk: “Ma’am, your ticket has been assigned and escalated. Would you like the—”

    Me: “Sir, I do not wish to be rude, but if you offer me the name and number of the assigned IT Manager one more time, I fear I may scream aloud.”

    Helpdesk:“I can give you his direct number—”

    Me: “Okay, I give up. As I do not wish to be rude by simply hanging up in your ear, I am letting you know that I am ending the call at this time.”

    Helpdesk: “Okay… thanks for calling the Helpdesk. Have I fully resolved your concerns today?”

    Me: “Are you for real?!”

    Helpdesk: *hangs up*

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    Infinitely Loopy