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  • Not Handing Over Justice
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    Managed By A Busybody

    | IN, USA | Bad Behavior, Bosses & Owners

    (There are just two cashiers working and no manager on duty when everyone on the highway decides they need to stop and fuel. Diesel and gas registers are both busy, and the phone is ringing nonstop. There are two lines for the fuel desk, one for the restaurant, and one for the garage. The restaurant and garage never use their own lines to call out.)

    Garage: *over phone intercom* “Hey, you guys have a call on line four.”

    Me: “Okay, thanks.” *picks up* “Thank you for calling [Store]. This is [My Name]. Can I help you?”

    General Manager: “Why couldn’t I call through on lines one and two?”

    Me: *clearly waiting on customers* “I’m guessing the restaurant and garage are on them. They’ve been lit up for a while.”

    General Manager: “Are you sure you girls aren’t talking on the phone to your boyfriends?”

    Me: “Very sure. It’s very busy and we have lines almost to the door.”

    General Manager: “Because I called two or three times on each line.”

    Me: “Then maybe you should tell the other managers to stop their employees calling out on our lines. Did you need something? We’re really busy.”

    General Manager: “Are you sure you aren’t on the phone with someone else?”

    Me: “No, [Manager], I am NOT on the phone with someone else and neither is [Coworker]! Did you need me to do something or not because [Coworker] needs help!”

    General Manager: “No, I’m just calling to check on you. See you tomorrow.”

    Me: “Bye!”

    (I guess he must have checked the tapes when he came in the next day, because I didn’t hear anything else about it!)

    Too Early For Proper English

    | Shippensburg, PA, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Food & Drink, Language & Words

    (In my first semester of college, I have an eight am class clear on the other side of campus. I am not once on time. One particularly bad morning I am walking to class, for my eight am midterm, at around 8:35. I stop in at my usual coffee spot on the way with my usual elderly coffee lady.)

    Me: *apparently speaking in what I assume is poor German for no apparent reason other than fatigue* “Ich möchte eine tasse kaffe, bitte.” *German for: I would like a cup of coffee, please*

    Coffee Lady: “Eine große oder kleine?” *German for: Large or small?*

    Me: *very much confused* “Did I ask for coffee in German?”

    Coffee Lady: “Yes.”

    Me: “Oh. Uh, große, bitte.” *German: A large cup, please*

    Coffee Lady: “Coffee’s on me. You’re going to miss your test.”

    (I run to class. As it turns out she is from Germany and was just as surprised as I was that I ordered in German! After my midterm I came back and chatted with her and we have been friends ever since! And she’s bought more than a few cups of joe for me!)

    Clocked Off For Good

    | MI, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Employees, Time

    (I manage the college campus coffee shop. One day, I notice one of the student workers going into the back room, where the time clock is located. She leaves moments later. Since she isn’t due to work that morning, I am curious, and I look at her time card. She has clocked in and left. I look back at past weeks, and determine that she had been clocking a few hours prior to most of her shifts for almost a month. I pull her time card, and leave a note for her to come see me.)

    Employee: “Hey, what’s up? I couldn’t find my time card, and your note didn’t say.”

    Me: “You clocked in a few hours ago, and then left.”

    Employee: “…and?”

    Me: “You falsified your record of hours worked, which constitutes fraud and theft. Since this has been going on for a month, the amount you’ve stolen is enough to count as a felony.”

    Employee: “Oh. So… is that a problem? I was short on money, and thought I’d get some extra hours.”

    Me: “Extra hours that you didn’t work?”

    Employee: “Yeah!”

    Me: “And you don’t see why that’s a problem?”

    Employee: “No, why?”

    Me: “Then you’re REALLY not going to expect what’s coming next.”

    (Since I’m a big softy, I just fired her, and didn’t bring the police into it.)

    It Has Fallen In Shadow

    | San Francisco, CA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers, Health & Body

    (At work, we have a mass emailing list to email everyone in our SF office. One day, this email comes through…)

    Subject Line: “Careful going out the [Street Name] door…”

    Body: “There’s a poo hidden in the shadows.”

    An Interesting (Dead)Pool Of Applicants

    | Ottawa, ON, Canada | Bizarre/Silly, Geeks Rule, Politics

    (I work for a non-profit that mainly focuses on advocacy for middle to low income people. We work like a community union and I go out to find members to sign up by knocking in rougher neighbourhoods, going door to door. I should note I am a female in my mid twenties.)

    Me: *knocks on door*

    Male Voice: “I got it!”

    (The door opens and a guy in a Deadpool hoodie that zips up into a mask is towering over me. I’m also a bit of a nerd.)

    Me: “Oh, my god, I love it! Sorry, that was unprofessional, Deadpool. My name is [My Name], and I work for [Non-Profit]. We get people together to fight back and make change. Things we want are safer communities and better wages, but right now we want stricter punishments for bad landlords so we can have healthier homes. What do you think?”

    Deadpool: “Cool.”

    Me: “The city hasn’t been enforcing the by-laws because if they do they don’t get paid and they would have to give the money to the province. We want them to update the by-law because then they would actually have an incentive to do the freaking work. Can I get you to sign in support, Deadpool?”

    Deadpool: “Okay. Do I have to put my real name?”

    Me: “We will not tell your secret identity. We take our member confidentiality seriously.”

    (He didn’t become a full member but he made my night.)

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