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    They Do Love A Man Out Of Uniform

    | KS, USA | Employees, Rude & Risque

    (I once worked as a police dispatcher for a small town, and we wore uniforms similar to the police officers.  It’s my day off so I’m not in uniform when I go to pay my water bill. One of the ladies I know is working behind the desk.)

    Me: “Hi. I need to pay my water bill.

    Clerk: “Oh, hey, [My Name]. I didn’t recognize you with clothes on!”

    Me: “Let’s not get any rumors started here…”

    Making A Fractionally Better Coffee

    , | BC, Canada | Coworkers, Food & Drink, Math & Science, Top

    (I work at a popular fast food chain that is known for their coffee. In order to make a drink that is part one drink, and part another, we have modifiers that come up as 1/2, 1/3, and 1/4. I’m making the coffees at the drive thru when I see and order for a French Vanilla come up, but the person taking the order hit the 1/3 coffee modifier three times.)

    Me: “Uh, so, what am I making here?”

    Coworker: “A medium French vanilla with three-thirds coffee.”

    Me: “So… a coffee?”

    Coworker: “No. French vanilla, with three-thirds coffee.”

    Me: “But that’s just 100% coffee.”

    Coworker: “No, it isn’t. It’s three-thirds coffee.”

    Me: “Three-thirds is one whole. Three over three is one. It would be completely coffee.”

    Coworker: “I don’t think you know what you’re talking about.”

    Me: “I’m an engineering student. Math is kinda my thing.”

    Coworker: “I still think you’re wrong.”

    (By now it’s taken long enough so that the customer has made it to the window.)

    Me: “So sorry. What was in your drink?”

    Customer: “It’s a medium French vanilla with one-third coffee.”

    Me: “Ah, gotcha! The person taking the order put three-thirds coffee!”

    Customer: *laughing* “But that would just be a coffee!”

    Me: “See?”

    Daily Job Moods


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    Doesn’t Know Beans About The Menu, Part 3

    | Winnipeg, MB, Canada | At The Checkout, Employees, Food & Drink, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (My husband and I are meat eaters, but we occasionally like to have veggie burgers. This place has a veggie burger that isn’t bad, so we decide to stop there one night after the movies.)

    Me: “We’d like two Veggies, please.”

    Employee: “You’d like what?”

    Me: “Veggies. You know… the veggie burgers?”

    Employee: “…”

    Me: “You know? The ones without meat?”

    Employee: “Oh. Gotcha.”

    (When we got home, we found that our ‘burgers’ consisted of buns, lettuce, tomatoes, and condiments. That’s it. Technically, they did indeed contain no meat.)

    Related:
    Doesn’t Know Beans About The Menu, Part 2
    Doesn’t Know Beans About The Menu

    Overtime Crime, Part 3

    | UK | Bosses & Owners, Overtime

    (My boss has a reputation of being very unreasonable, asking for the impossible and constantly moving goal posts.)

    Boss: “[My Name], come in here, please. These overtime sheets are far too high. There is no way I can afford to pay them. Go tell [Worker] that he won’t be getting paid for them.”

    (I take the sheets expecting foul play or incorrect hours being booked.)

    Me: “But you approved all of them.”

    Boss: “Doesn’t matter. Payment is at my discretion.”

    Me: “This one was for the urgent issue, this one was because the other guy was sick, and this one was because we needed the work done. You personally asked for him to come in every time.”

    Boss: “Doesn’t matter. Tell him.”

    (Not getting anywhere I had to explain to one of my guys why he worked 40 hours of his own time and would only get time off in lieu despite never hearing of this rule before. It did not go down well.)

    Related:
    Overtime Crime, Part 2
    Overtime Crime


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