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  • What Passes For Customer Service

    | Washington, DC, USA | Bad Behavior, Employees, Top, Tourists & Travel

    (Although I’m 16 and no longer count as an unaccompanied minor, my mom still wants to walk me to the terminal in the airport. This is because I have severe anxiety and am prone to panic attacks in stressful situations.)

    My Mom: “Excuse me, could I get a gate pass so I can walk my daughter to her terminal?”

    Ticketing Agent: “How old is your daughter?”

    My Mom: “Sixteen.”

    Ticketing Agent: “She’s older than 14, so she’s not an unaccompanied minor. You can’t have the pass.”

    My Mom: “Are you sure? I called in a few days ago, and they said that unless you’d had an unusual number of unaccompanied minors who had to have their parents take them, you’d be able to give me one.”

    Ticketing Agent: “She’s over 14. She’s not an unaccompanied minor.”

    My Mom: “I know. I was told that despite that, I could get a pass if you weren’t too crowded.”

    Ticketing Agent: “They were wrong.”

    My Mom: “Could I speak to your supervisor, please?”

    Ticketing Agent: “Fine!”

    (The supervisor comes out.)

    Supervisor: “What’s the problem?”

    My Mom: “I was told I’d be able to get a gate pass to walk my daughter to her terminal?”

    Supervisor: “…And?”

    My Mom: “…And your employee won’t give me one.”

    Supervisor: *turns to agent* “Why not?”

    Ticketing Agent: “Her daughter is over 14.”

    Supervisor: “We reserve a certain amount for unaccompanied minors’ parents. That doesn’t mean all gate passes are specifically reserved for them!” *to my mom* “Here you go, ma’am.”

    (Fortunately, my mom was able to go with me to the terminal!)

    Not Ever Working, Part 14

    , | Saskatoon, SK, Canada | At The Checkout, Employees, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (I have just finished ordering a pita and am next to the till waiting behind a person paying for their order. There is one person making the pitas, and two people by the till.)

    Cashier #1: “Well, I’m off for the day.”

    (Cashier #1 promptly moves into the back. Cashier #2 has finished handing the customer in front of me their order and is now looking at the food station behind the counter. I wait patiently for Cashier #2′s attention so I can pay for my order.)

    Me: “Excuse me.”

    (Cashier #2 ignores me and continues moving behind the counter. By now, I have been waiting for at least 10 minutes to pay for my food.)

    Me: “Excuse me, can I please pay for my food?”

    Cashier #2: “…”

    (In desperation, I address the server preparing the food.)

    Me: “Excuse me, can I please pay for my food?”

    (The server glances at me, and then looks at the cashier.)

    Server: “Why haven’t you helped this lady yet?”

    Cashier #2: ”I am not authorized to handle the till.”

    Server: “Move over…”

    (The server promptly takes over the till and allows me to pay for my food.  Meanwhile, Cashier #2 still hasn’t moved; she’s staring at a piece of paper I assume to be the schedule.)

    Cashier #2: “…Can I go on break?”

    Not Ever Working, Part 13
    Not Ever Working, Part 12
    Not Ever Working, Part 11
    Not Ever Working, Part 10
    Not Ever Working, Part 9
    Not Ever Working, Part 8
    Not Ever Working, Part 7
    Not Ever Working, Part 6
    Not Ever Working, Part 5
    Not Ever Working, Part 4
    Not Ever Working, Part 3
    Not Ever Working, Part 2
    Not Ever Working

    One Carrier’s Trash Is Another’s Treasure

    | USA | Awesome Workers, Employees, Top

    (After getting married, my husband and I have canceled our individual cell phone plans and gotten a joint plan with a third company.)

    Rep: “Thank you for calling [Carrier]. How may I assist you?”

    Me: “I just got a new plan with your company. When I called to cancel service with [Other Carrier], they told me that it was the first day of the new billing cycle, so I was still responsible for paying that entire month! I can’t afford to pay them $50 plus your bill. This is going to cut into my groceries!”

    Rep: “Wow, that’s really poor customer service.”

    Me: “Yes, I spent an hour arguing with them. I talked to several supervisors and they’re refusing to void the charges. I don’t know what I’m going to do. I’m so upset!”

    Rep: “Um… with all due respect… what exactly do you want [Carrier] to do?  Your issue is with [Other Carrier].”

    Me:  ”Honestly? I have no idea what I expect you to do.  I really had no idea when I called.  I guess I just wanted someone to agree with me that [Other Carrier] is treating me unfairly!  Thank you for listening to me!

    Rep:  Can I put you on hold for a minute?

    Me: “Sure.”

    (I’m put on hold. A few minutes later, the rep gets back on the phone.)

    Rep: “I just spoke with my supervisor, and [Carrier] has agreed to give you a credit in the amount of your final bill with [Other Carrier] as a thank you for your business. Can you please confirm the exact total?”

    Me: “…Really? That’s amazing! Thank you so much—it’s [amount]!”

    Rep: “You’ll see a credit for [amount] on your first bill with us. Have I resolved your issue?”

    Me: “And then some! Thanks again! You’re awesome, and I’m going to recommend [Carrier] to all my friends!”

    He’ll Never See The Light

    | Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Bosses & Owners, Ignoring/Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful, Themed Giveaway

    Me: “Hey boss, the electric bill is due.”

    Boss: “I’ll pay it next week.”

    (Next week…)

    Me: “Hey boss, the electronic bill is due.”

    Boss: “I’ll take care of it.”

    (A few days later…)

    Me: “Hey boss, that electric bill is a few days overdue.”

    Boss: “I forgot. I’ll pay it tomorrow.”

    Me: “But it’s overdue—”

    Boss: “I’ll pay it tomorrow!”

    (The next day…)

    Me: “Boss, time to pay the electric bill.”

    Boss: “I’ll take care of it tomorrow.”

    Me: “But it was due a few days ago.”

    (My boss takes the bill from me and tosses it aside.)

    Boss: “I’ll pay it tomorrow.”

    (Three weeks later…)

    Me: “Hey boss, we’ve received a second notification that the electric bill hasn’t been paid. We have ten days to pay it or else they’ll shut off the electricity.”

    Boss: “It doesn’t count until the third or fourth notice.”

    Me: “Well, you should pay anyway.”

    Boss: “I’ll take care of it.”

    Me: “Now?”

    Boss: “Tomorrow.”

    (Two weeks later the Termination of Service notification comes in for the overdue bill. I tape the notification, with the original bill stapled to it, to my boss’s computer monitor. My boss comes into the office and sits down at his chair. He peers at the white paper on the monitor and moves his mouse more rapidly, trying to get rid of the “white screensaver” for 20 seconds. Finally, realization sets in. He reads the notice, removes it from the monitor, tosses it aside, and begins logging into his computer. Ten days later our electricity was shut off!)

    I Just Swan To Get Out Of Here

    | Bel Air, MD, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Employees

    (My car is in for service at its dealership, and I am waiting by the service desk to sign the paperwork to get it back.)

    Employee: “Oh! Oh! Oh! Is your name Bella?!”

    Me: “What?”

    Employee: “Bella! Like from Twilight! You know, Twilight, right? Your name matches!”

    (Note: my full name is not printed on the paperwork, only my first initial and my last name. While my initials match Bella’s, this is, in fact, not my name.)

    Me: “My name isn’t on the paper.”

    Employee: “Have you ever been to Washington?”

    Me: “I visited… once?”

    Employee: “Oh-em-gee! Bella’s real! I met Bella! Is Edward as dreamy in real life?”

    Me: “I… just… please let me sign for my car?”

    Employee: “Aw.”

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