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  • Good To Sell Until Hell Freezes Over
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  • Misconceiving The Point

    | USA | At The Checkout, Health & Body, Lazy/Unhelpful, Rude & Risque, Top

    (I am a 20-year-old female, but I guess I look younger. This occurs the first time I am buying condoms. I feel a little awkward, since it is my only item, and I’ve never bought them before.)

    Cashier: *holding up the box of condoms* “Will this be all?”

    Me: “Yep.”

    Cashier: “I don’t think I can sell these to you.”

    Me: “W-why?”

    Cashier: “I think you’re too young to be having sex.”

    Me: “That’s absurd! I’m 20 years old!”

    Cashier: “Yeah, okay. Prove it! Let me see your driver’s license.”

    (I start to go through my purse, when an old lady in line behind me speaks up towards the cashier.)

    Old Lady: “Hey, you pimply a**-hole! Just let the girl buy her stuff. She’s trying to buy contraception to have safe sex instead of risking an STD or a pregnancy. Even if she was younger than 20, and I believe she is telling the truth, you should still sell them to her to prevent another teenage pregnancy! On top of it, we are on a college campus! How many young teenagers do you see around here? Most of the people who shop here are 17 or older! Just give her the d*** condoms!”

    (The cashier wordlessly scans my items and bags them, and takes my cash.)

    Me: “Have a nice day, jack-a**! Oh, and I’m paying for her stuff, too.”

    No ID And No Idea

    | AZ, USA | At The Checkout, Ignoring/Inattentive, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m at the store buying groceries for the week. One of the things I am purchasing is alcohol. I know that I look roughly 16 even though I’m 22, so I always have my ID ready. The cashier scans the wine and starts typing on her keypad to approve the purchase.)

    Me: “Do you want to see my ID?”

    Cashier: “What?”

    Me: “My ID?”

    Cashier: “Huh?”

    Me: “Do you need this?”

    Cashier: “I’m sorry, what?”

    Me: *slowly* “Do. You. Need. My. ID?”

    Cashier: “OH! Yeah, I guess I should see that.”

    Don’t Enable The Disablers

    | USA | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Coworkers, Top

    (Every other Saturday, we have a huge group of adults come into the local bowling alley. All of them have Down’s Syndrome. Most of them come up to order with a helper, but there are a few who want to do this by themselves. Today we have a new employee and she is taking orders out front while I cook.)

    Coworker: “OH MY GOD! [My Name] can you come out here?”

    (I walk out from the to see what’s going on. There is one man at the counter.)

    Coworker: “I can’t understand a thing this f****** retard is saying. This is stupid.”

    Me: “[Coworker]!”

    (The man at the counter starts crying and runs out of the lobby.)

    Me: “What the h***? Don’t call the customers that!”

    Coworker: “Why not? He’s retarded; he doesn’t even know what it means.”

    Me: *sarcastically* “You’re right; that’s why he ran out of here in tears.”

    (I leave the snack area and find the man, still in tears talking to his friends.)

    Me: “Hey, I want to apologize for what my coworker said back there.”

    Man: “She called me a bad name.”

    Me: “She did, and that was wrong of her. Why don’t you tell me what you want, and I’ll go and make it for you.”

    (He tries to tell me what he wants, but it’s hard to make out. I work with him, asking him a couple questions until I finally figure it out.)

    Man: “I have money.”

    Me: “Don’t worry about the money; today it’s free.”

    (I walk back into the kitchen and make his food. My coworker is scoffing the whole time. When he comes to pick up his food, she tries to charge him but I stop her.)

    Coworker: “You’re not supposed to give out free food.”

    Me: “You’re not supposed to insult the customers. I’ll just take his payment out of your share of tips.”

    Coworker: “Like h*** you will.”

    Me: “Did you know that [Owner]‘s youngest daughter was born with Down’s?”

    (My coworker avoids me for the rest of the day, and at the end of her shift she doesn’t complain about me taking her tips to pay for his food. I talk with the manager and my coworker is taken off Saturdays from then on.)

    Taking Poetic License (Plate) With The Truth

    | IA, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Liars/Scammers, Top, Tourists & Travel, Transportation

    (My family and I are going on vacation, driving several hours through three states. From our many road trips I have developed a hobby of trying to see all 50 states’ license plates, with a little booklet to mark off each state. At a gas station we’ve stopped at for a break, I see an incredibly rare Hawaii plate, and stop in front of it to check it off in my booklet. I think nothing of it, but when I catch up to my family in the store, I notice the cashier giving me the evil eye while she speaks to someone on the phone.)

    Cashier: “Don’t move.”

    Me: *extremely startled* “What? Why? Is there a bee on me again?!”

    Cashier: “No, I’m waiting for the cops to get here.”

    Me: “The cops? But… why?”

    Cashier: “You’re gonna steal that car there.”

    Me: “Car? What car?”

    (My mom notices the conversation and the hostile tone, and comes up to me.)

    Mom: “Is everything all right? I gave you enough money for this, didn’t I?”

    Me: “Yeah, but—”

    Cashier: “Your little thief of a daughter here is going to steal that car there.”

    Mom: “Steal a car?! What car?!”

    Cashier: “The car she stopped and checked out over there. She wrote down the license plate so she can hotwire it and steal it! I called the cops!”

    Me: “But I just—”

    Cashier: “Just wanted to steal a nice fancy car for yourself, huh? Entitled little b***** teenagers, thinking everything’s theirs and they don’t have to face consequences! Well guess what, sweetie, you just ruined the whole day for everyone; you’re going to jail! You’ll make your mommy and daddy very mad and the cops will lock you away forever!”

    Mom: “That is no way to treat a customer!”

    Cashier: “I don’t have to be polite to little s*** car-thieves!”

    Mom: “And how dare you accuse my daughter of trying to steal a car! No, worse, you just think she’ll try to steal a car with no evidence!”

    Cashier: “Oh, I have evidence alright. Look in that little black book of hers; she wrote the license plate down to steal it!”

    (The cashier reaches over and rips my state booklet out of my hands.)

    Me: “Give that back! It’s mine!”

    Cashier: “Just like that car is yours? Ha!”

    (The cashier flips it open and sees the page for license plates.)

    Cashier: “Aha! I knew it! See here, the license plate!”

    (The cashier shoves the booklet in my mom’s face, pointing to the little space for Hawaii. In it I had written the date in the form YYYY.MM.DD.)

    Cashier: “And look at all the other plates! She’s stolen all those too! The cops are going to be here very soon, and your daughter is going to jail!”

    Me: “That’s not a license plate! It’s the date!”

    Cashier: “Yeah, right.”

    (In the distance, we hear police sirens. Seconds later, several cops come rushing into the gas station.)

    Cashier: “About time! This little w**** was going to steal that car! She wrote the plate down! And she stole all these other cars, all listed here!” *waves my booklet around*

    Officer: “A car thief? Did you see her attempt to steal it?”

    Cashier: “No, but she was obviously going to after she left! She wrote the plate down!”

    Officer: “Can I see that book?”

    Cashier: “Of course! And then you can arrest her for stealing all these cars, all the plates are right there!”

    Officer: “These don’t look like no license plate numbers. Wait—” *turns to me* “Are these dates?”

    Me: “Y-yes. I track all the state license plates I’ve seen, and I write the date I first saw it. The car out there had a Hawaii plate; that’s why it’s got today’s date. See?”

    Officer: “You’re right.” *turns back to cashier* “What made you think she was going to steal a car?”

    Cashier: “Well, she… she wrote the plate down! She was going to steal it so she wrote the plate down!”

    Officer: “These are dates, not license plate numbers.”

    Cashier: “Then she writes down the date she steals them! She’s a thief! A no-good rotten teenage s*** stealing everything!”

    (The cashier continues to hurl insults as the police handle it. After a while, my family are finally able to get back on the road. I never do get my soda or candy bar, and we specifically make sure to never stop there again.)

    No So Groovy Baby

    | Hillsboro, NH, USA | At The Checkout, Geography, Language & Words

    (Although I live in New Hampshire, USA, I’m from the UK and have an accent.)

    Cashier: “So… are you like from another state or something?”

    Me: “Um, no, I’m from England.”

    Cashier: *with dawning realization* “Oh! You mean like Austin Powers? I love him!”

    Me: *dying just a little inside* “Yes… just like Austin Powers.”

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