• Making A Boob Of Oneself
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  • June's Theme Of The Month: Great Timing!

    BLT: Better Luck Tomorrow

    | Derry, NH, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    Me: “Can I get a BLT on Italian herb bread, please”

    Worker: “Do you want anything on that, like lettuce or tomato?”

    Try It A Second Time

    | Italy | Employees, Lazy/Unhelpful, Time

    (A sandblaster has been ordered to sandblast 600 tubes from both ends. Each tube needs to be ‘blasted’ for 5 seconds, thus the job ought to take at least an hour. Twenty minutes later, the sandblaster leaves the cabin and starts taking off his gear.)

    Foreman: “What happened? Something’s wrong?”

    Sandblaster: “No, I’m finished.”

    Foreman: “What do you mean you’re finished? Did you blast both ends?”

    Sandblaster: “Yeah.”

    Foreman: “Did you count five seconds per tube?”

    Sandblaster: “Yeah.”

    Foreman: “Then there’s no way you can be finished. Get back in and start over.”

    Sandblaster: “It’s not my fault I count seconds fast!”

    Stamp Of Disapproval

    | England, UK | At The Checkout, Employees, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (My favourite coffee shop doesn’t have a points card. Instead they have a cardboard card that they stamp. Unfortunately me being me, I would forget to get it stamped or leave it at home, so it has taken several months to fill it up. I’m two coffees away and I have just ordered two coffees.)

    Me: “Oh, my card.”

    (The barista looks at my card, looks at me, and looks at the coffees I’ve just ordered, stamps it twice, then instead of passing my card back to me, she takes a free coffee off my bill.)

    Me: “Thank you for not understanding your own policy of buy six get one free!”

    Less Calories, More Placebos

    | England, UK | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (Because we have to have a certain number of people in the room at all times, my coworker is covering my lunch.)

    Coworker: “Hey, are you off to the shop?”

    Me: “Yes, need something?”

    Coworker: “Can you pick me up another one of these?” *holds up half empty Pepsi Max bottle* “I don’t think it is going to last until the end of the day.”

    Me: “Er, sure, but you know we have juice, right?”

    Coworker: “Nah, I need the sugar.”

    Me: “Er… You know that doesn’t have any sugar in it?”

    Coworker: “Sugar, sweetener, same thing.”

    (I pick up her sugar-free sugarfix, which apparently was the pickup she needed.)

    Has Some Serious Hang Ups

    | The Netherlands | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers, Technology

    (I am volunteering at a call center and all the volunteers are very eager. We have headsets, but in order to take a call, you need to physically pick up the phone. As soon as the phone rings, every volunteer grabs the phone. If you’ve got the call, you can start talking, if you don’t, you’ll hear a long beeping tone. I am always too slow, so I’m used to picking up the phone and having to put it down immediately. However, in this instance I did get the phone call.)

    Me: “Hello. This is [Organization]. You’re speaking with [My Name].”

    Caller: “Hello, my name is [Caller].”

    (As the caller is saying this, I put down the phone, like I usually have to do.)

    Me: “What can I help you with?”

    (I hear beeping sounds, as though the caller hung up on me.)

    Me: *to coworker* “Oh, weird. He hung up on me.”

    (I look up to see everybody around me staring at my phone, shocked.)

    Me: “Huh, what? Oh, no! I hung up on him!”

    (My supervisor was not angry and assured me that he would call back. I hope he did!)

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