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    In Line With The Wine

    | St. Louis, MO, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Lazy/Unhelpful

    (My best friend and I are customers at a very large store. It’s 12:55 am, and liquor sales end at 1 am. The cashier is ringing up our items, and stops at the bottle of wine. This isn’t the first time we’ve had troubles with this particular cashier.)

    Cashier: “I can’t sell this to you. We can’t sell alcohol after 1 am.”

    Me: “But… it’s not 1 am yet. We have a few minutes.”

    Cashier: “Nope, register says 1 am. Can’t sell it to you.”

    Best Friend: “Uh, no, your register shows 12:56. So can you please ring us up and stop wasting time?”

    Cashier: “Look lady; it’s past 1 am. I CAN’T sell it to you!”

    Customer Behind Us: “Just ring up the god-d*** wine, and stop wasting everyone else’s time. None of these clocks show 1 am yet. Stop being a difficult b**** and just give these girls their wine!”

    (The cashier huffs and glares at the other customer, and waits until 11:59 on the dot to ring up the wine. She made everyone stand there for another few minutes! We didn’t get the manager, but we’ve never seen her there again!)

    Customer, Serve Thyself

    | England, UK | Bosses & Owners, Employees, Technology, Top

    (I’m chatting with one of the guys working at the store. He is wearing a purple top with the store logo in huge letters, while I’m wearing a top from a completely different company. A customer approaches and starts talking to the worker.)

    Customer: “I need one of those things that split the power in a car.”

    Worker: “Sorry, we don’t stock them.”

    Customer: *turns around to me* “Do you know where I can get one?”

    Me: “Oh, well [company #1] and [company #2] would definitely have one. [Company #1] would be cheapest, although [company #2] is just around the corner. If you have time they would be far cheaper online.”

    Customer: “Oh, thank you; you have been so helpful. I’m going to put a good word in with your manager!”

    (Later, as I’m leaving…)

    Manager: “You keep that up, and you will be in line for a promotion.”

    Me: “You would have to pay me first.”

    Manager: “You keep that up and you will be in line for a job and a promotion.”

    (I stuck with my old job, but found a new favorite store!)

    Police Work Is Child’s Play

    | West Haven, CT, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Employees, Top

    (I am 26 years old. I am 5-feet 1-inches, and my boyfriend, who is also the same age, is just under 6-feet. We stop off on a road trip to our hotel, and I decide to go into a bakery. I have no makeup or formal clothes on, just jeans and a sparkly top.)

    Me: “Can I have three gingerbread men, please?”

    Cashier: “Sure. $3.”

    (I have them in a plastic bag, and my boyfriend comes in.)

    Boyfriend: “Finished, sweetie?”

    (I smile, and he leans down and kisses me. We leave but I hardly notice the cashier on the phone. When I am at the hotel, and we are checking in, a police car draws up outside.)

    Boyfriend: “Has anything happened?”

    Receptionist: “No, not that I know of.”

    Officer #1: *entering, going to my boyfriend* “Sir, is your license plate [license plate]?”

    Boyfriend: “Yeah. What’s going on?”

    Officer #1: “Were you at [Bakery] at 4:50 pm today?”

    Me: “Yeah, we were.”

    Officer #2: *to me* “Could you give me your name?”

    Me: “It’s [My Name].”

    Officer #1: *to my boyfriend* “Could you come down to the station, please?”

    (We are very confused, and I ask why. The officer then takes me into a bathroom the manager offers him. Inside, he kneels down in front of me and looks serious.)

    Officer #2: “Now, Mr. [Boyfriend] has gone to the station. We need your name, address, and parents’ telephone number, sweetie. Everything’s gonna be fine now.”

    Me: “Has something happened to my parents?”

    Officer #2: “It’s okay. Everything’s going to be okay now. Now, where did you meet [Boyfriend]?”

    Me: “Two and a half years ago at my brother’s college.”

    Officer #2: “And where are you from?”

    (I give my address, name, and telephone number.)

    Me: “Can you please tell me—”

    Officer #2: “Do your parents know you’re with Mr. [Boyfriend]?”

    Me: “Yes. Look, just tell me: has something happened to them?”

    Officer #2: “Not that I know of.”

    (Officer #2 goes to Officer #1 at the door.)

    Officer #2: “She keeps asking about her parents. Apparently they know she’s with him. I don’t know if they have any idea.”

    (Officer #2 comes back in to talk to me.)

    Officer #2: “Now sweetie, we need to go to the station and a nice doctor will check you up. No need to be frightened. And we need your DNA. It’s going to be fine.”

    Me: “Why are you talking to me like I’m a child?”

    Officer #2: *surprised* “Because you are one?”

    Me: “I’m 26!”

    Officer #2: “Really?”

    Me: “Yes! Listen, my passport is at my home. You can check it out! I promise my boyfriend hasn’t kidnapped me or raped me or whatever you think is going on, but I am NOT a child!”

    (It turns out the cashier called the local police saying a man in his late 20s had kissed a girl between 11 and 14 and drove off with her. The police get my passport from home, as well as my driver’s license and car purchase papers confirming I am 26. After 40 hours since we stopped at the bakery, they let my boyfriend go from prison and drop all charges.)

    Officer #1: “We are so sorry for that! It’s just we had a call about a kidnapper or pedophile in town, so we had to do what we needed, and we had to check if anything was wrong.”

    Boyfriend: “I understand, officer.”

    Officer #1: “Although, I have to say, she does look rather young.”

    (I began wearing suits after that.)

    Smoothing Out The Situation

    , | UT, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Money, Top

    (I am at a popular fast food restaurant that currently has game pieces for Monopoly on their cups. I was going through the drive thru.)

    Me: “Hi, I have a monopoly piece for a free smoothie. Is there a specific kind you would recommend? I haven’t had one before.”

    Cashier: “Um, we have strawberry banana.”

    Me: “Okay, that sounds great. I’d also like a number 16 combo, and a grilled chicken sandwich, just the sandwich no meal.”

    Cashier: “Okay. Does everything look right on the screen? Your total is $14.90.”

    Me: “No, you’re charging me for the smoothie still. I have a Monopoly piece that makes it free.”

    Cashier: “Um. Okay. Pull forward.”

    (I get to the window.)

    Me: “Hi, here’s my piece for the free smoothie.”

    Cashier: “Well you should have told me you had one!”

    Me: *trying to be nice* “I did, but that’s okay. I’m sure it’s loud outside and hard to hear.”

    Cashier: “Okay, your total is now $5.70.”

    Me: “Wait, it’s $5.70? Taking the smoothie off shouldn’t have taken off $9.00. You got the meal as well as the sandwich right?”

    Cashier: “Ma’am, I will give you your freaking receipt. I comp’d your smoothie so you aren’t paying for it. I know what I’m doing, mmmk?”

    Me: *fed up at this point* “Okay, sounds great.”

    (I go to the window, get my smoothie, meal, and sandwich, and pay $5.70 for $15.00 worth of food just because someone doesn’t know what they’re doing, and is very rude about it!)

    Jiggly Logic

    | UK | Coworkers, Geeks Rule

    (My coworker and I are having a small discussion on Pokémon, specifically the original 151. I have also just proven that I still remember how Jigglypuff’s song goes.)

    Coworker: “What would you do if you woke up and found you had a Jigglypuff for a head?”

    Me: “I’d make money.”

    Coworker: “How?”

    Me: “There’d be a way.”

    Coworker: “Okay, what if the government made it illegal to make money from having a Pokémon for a head?”

    Me: “That’s impossible.”

    Coworker: “So the possibility of having a Pokémon for a head is okay, but the government making it illegal to make money from it is what’s impossible?”

    Me: “We have to draw the line somewhere.”

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