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    In A State Of Confusion, Part 2

    | Salt Lake City, UT, USA | Coworkers, Extra Stupid, Geography

    Coworker: “What state is VT?”

    Me: “Uh… Vermont.”

    Coworker: “Really?”

    Me: “Yeah. What did you think it was?”

    Coworker: “I thought it was a city. Where is Vermont?”

    Me: “In the New England area.”

    Coworker:New England?! Where is that?!”

    Me: “You know; the area with Massachusetts, New Hampshire, etc…”

    Coworker: “Oh… where did you learn that?”

    Me: *laughing* “Uh… sixth grade geography.”

    (Because I am laughing, my coworker thinks I am messing with her, so she checks ‘New England, USA’ online.)

    Coworker: “Oh! New England Patriots! I get it!”

    In A State Of Confusion

    November Themed Giveaway Reminder: Bizarre Behavior

    | Not Always Working | Announcements, Bizarre/Silly, Theme Of The Month
    Want to win A Not Always Working t-shirt?
    Enter November’s Themed Story Giveaway: Bizarre Behavior!

    Entering is as easy as 1-2-3:

    1. Submit a funny or interesting story about employees, coworkers, or bosses behaving bizarrely!
    2. Enter your email address in the form to qualify.
    3. All posted stories will be entered in a drawing to win a free t-shirt gift certificate, to use in the official Not Always Working shop!

    PS: winners will be announced the first Wednesday of every month. Next free t-shirt gift certificate: Wednesday, December 4!

    Adding Insulin To Injury

    | Marshall, VA, USA | At The Checkout, Employees, Food & Drink, Health & Body, Ignoring/Inattentive, Top

    (I am 25 years old and in a grocery store buying a bottle of fruit juice and a bottle of wine. I also have a packet of chocolate for my diabetes.)

    Clerk: “ID please.”

    (I get it out. The clerk looks at it oddly.)

    Clerk: “I’m sorry; this is fake.”

    Me: *surprised* “It IS real.”

    Clerk: “This can’t be you.”

    (I look EXACTLY the same in my ID, and I’m even wearing my hair the same way and the same color shirt.)

    Clerk: “I’m calling the cops. I should really just get my manager but you’re probably gonna try it again.”

    (As he gets the police on the phone and I think this is stupid, he motions for me to empty my bag. I take out my purse and fruit juice but leave the chocolate.)

    Me: “The police will show you it’s real.”

    Clerk: “EVERYTHING.”

    Me: “What?”

    Clerk: “I saw something shiny in your bag.”

    (The clerk puts his hand out and talks to me like I’m a child.)

    Clerk: “Come on, let me see and I won’t charge.”

    Me: “It’s my chocolates. I HAVE to have them!”

    (The clerk reaches in my bag and snatches them, putting them behind the counter.)

    Clerk: “I’ll have that, thank you. You’re paying $2.85 for these.”

    Me: “They REALLY are mine.”

    (I start to feel woozy, and know I need sugar. I start to panic.)

    Me: “Please, they’re for my diabetes.”

    Clerk: “You can have them when you pay.”

    Me: “Listen, you don’t even SELL [Brand] of chocolates. Look on the shelves; you won’t have them!”

    (The police finally arrive. I feel really bad and scared, because I could have a sugar rush.)

    Officer: “What’s this about a stolen or fake ID?”

    Clerk: “THAT!” *holds ID* “It isn’t her! It’s obvious!”

    Officer: “This does look remarkably like her. No, I am almost a hundred per cent CERTAIN this is her.”

    Me: “Please… I need sugar.”

    Clerk: “Well, she was trying to shoplift these.”

    (The clerk holds up the chocolate. I try and snatch one, but he pulls them away.)

    Clerk: “See? She’s such a dimwit shoplifter; she’s trying to steal them in front of you and the camera!”

    Me: “Officer, they don’t sell [Brand] here.”

    (The policeman goes to the candy aisle and looks for the brand. He frowns and comes back. I am desperate by this point.)

    Officer: “Did you tell him?”

    Me: “Yes, and I have diabetes. I need them.”

    (The officer suddenly looks serious and turns to the clerk.)

    Officer: “Did she tell you she had diabetes?”

    Clerk: “Yes, but—”

    Officer: “Just give them to her before I arrest you! She’s ill! Even if she was stealing these chocolates, I’d let her have one! She’s showing symptoms!”

    (I never went back to that store!)

    The Pen And Paperwork Is Mightier Than The Truth

    | Kent, England, UK | Bosses & Owners, Ignoring/Inattentive

    (At my store, we have to do two waste checks on the food every day. Every item with today’s date is booked and reduced in price, and then later on a second person checks it in case anything was missed. At the end of the day, any remaining waste is taken off the shelves once the store shuts at 6 pm. I’m called into the manager’s office.)

    Manager: “You left waste on the shelf.”

    Me: “Oh, when?”

    Manager: “Last Tuesday. There were some reduced cakes left on the shelf on Wednesday morning. You have to take off the reductions at the end of the day!”

    Me: “…last Tuesday? But I finished work at 4 pm. I wasn’t even in town when the store shut.”

    Manager: “But you signed for first check!”

    Me: “I did reduce them, yes, but I left two hours before the store shut.”

    Manager: “Oh… right, but I’ve already written the paperwork up, so I’ll regard this as an informal warning. You should tell you’re your colleague who did the second check to take the waste away. Now get back to work!”

    He’s Not The Sharpest Tool

    | CA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Coworkers, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month

    (We work at an ice cream parlor, and since it’s winter, we’re having a pretty slow night. I’m cleaning while my coworker is playing with the banana knife. He’s a teenage boy and I’m a late 20s girl.)

    Coworker #1: “Hey [My Name], look what I can do!”

    (He picks up the knife and slams it point first onto the cutting board, slicing open his hand.)

    Me: “Oh f***! We gotta get that taken care of!”

    (I rush him to the back where the first aid kit is, and we try to doctor it, but it’s pretty obvious that won’t be enough.)

    Coworker #1: “I’m going to call my dad.”

    Me: “Okay, keep your hand above your heart and I’ll go keep an eye on the front.”

    (I go out to the front, where Coworker #2 has appeared.)

    Coworker #2: “What happened?!”

    (I explain.)

    Coworker #2: “Why would he do that?”

    Me: “Because [Coworker #1] is an idiot!”

    (Coworker #1 comes back out to the front.)

    Coworker #1: “My dad is going to come take me to urgent care.”

    Me: “Okay, you better clock out since you can’t work like this. When I see [Manager] tomorrow, we’ll fill out an injury report. Keep pressure on the wound and put your hand above your heart.”

    (The entire 15 minutes or so we’re waiting for his ride, I have to repeatedly remind him to keep his hand above his heart while he just keeps grinning and laughing at me. He ended up getting stitches and we were a worker short for about a month, and all because he was trying to show off to a married woman.)

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